Today’s update brings a Stash increase, a variety of improvements for your inventory and U.I., a new wave of bug fixes, and more. Read on for the full list of changes in Fallout 76.

Update Highlights

• Store More Stuff!: We've increased the Stash limit to 1,200 pounds so you have even more room for loot.
• Sort Your Inventory with Ease: Stay on top of all the gear you’ve been collecting by using three new tabs in your inventory: “New,” “Armor,” and “Food/Drink.”
• What’s Weighing You Down?: From now on, when you select a stack of items in your inventory, the menu will show you the total weight of that stack.
• Know Before You Go: Player Vending Machine tooltips on the map now displays how many 1-, 2-, and 3-star legendary items they’re selling.
• Build Mode Color Update: Outlines in build mode now appear blue instead of green so that players with colorblindness can more easily differentiate between valid and invalid placement.

Update Version

Check today’s update version and download size for your platform of choice below:

• PC (Bethesda.net): 1.5.1.26 (1.6 GB)
• PC (Microsoft Store): 1.5.1.26 (5.0 GB)
• PC (Steam): 1.5.1.26 (2.0 GB)
• PlayStation 4: 1.5.1.25 (4.2 GB)
• Xbox One: 1.5.1.25 (4.8 GB)

Inventory and User Interface Improvements

• Stash Increase: Hold onto extra gear with a Stash increase! We've increased the amount of weight your Stash can hold by 50%, giving you 1,200 pounds to work with.
  
• New Inventory Tabs: We’ve added a few new tabs to your inventory menus so that you can better organize your gear, from your snacks and Stimpaks, to your outfits and armor.
  
  • New – This tab will keep track of all the items you gather during a play session, sorted by newest to oldest.
  • If you already have a stackable item in your inventory, like Steel Scrap, then new Steel Scrap you pick up will not appear in the “New” tab. Instead, it will be added to your existing stack.
  • Additionally, the “New” tab will reset if you leave your current world.
  • Armor – We’ve split Armor into its own menu tab so that you can keep your defensive gear separate from your other Apparel.
  • Food/Drinks – Your food and drinks are now split out from “Aid” into their own “Food/Drinks” inventory tab.
  • Please note that your Chems and Serums will remain in “Aid.”
• Stack Weight: What’s weighing you down? From now on, when you select a stacked item in your inventory, the Pip-Boy will show you the individual weight and the stack weight.
  
• Vending Machine Map Previews: The tooltip that appears when you’re previewing another player’s Vending Machines on the Map will now show the number of 1-, 2-, and 3-star legendary weapons and armor they’re selling. This way, you’ll have more information about the legendary goodies players are selling before you choose to Fast Travel to their C.A.M.P.s.
  
  • Additionally, Vending Machine categories that are empty will no longer appear in the tooltip to help you more easily see what types of items players do have for sale.

Additional User Interface Updates

• Atomic Shop: We’ve added a button to each category page in the Atomic Shop that will let you show or hide the items you already own, so that you can browse what’s still available with less clutter.
  
• Build Mode Visual Improvement: We’ve changed the color of the outline that appears when you build objects in your C.A.M.P. from green to light blue, which should be more friendly for our builders who have colorblindness.
  
  • This change is only visible when the object you're trying to place is in a valid location, and invalid placement outlines are still red.

Daily Ops

• Elder Tier Rewards: In response to community feedback, we’ve adjusted Daily Ops rewards so that you will always receive an item from the rare rewards pool whenever you complete an Op fast enough to reach Elder Tier.

Spread the Love: New Challenges and Rewards

• Starting today, and lasting until February 16, you can claim a free “Heart Wrencher” Skin for the Pipe Wrench in the Atomic Shop, and then use it to complete Challenges that will unlock new cosmetic and consumable rewards!
  • Earn Lunchboxes, Perk Card Packs, and Repair Kits by defeating enemies with your Heart Wrencher every day during the Spread the Love event.
  • You can also claim outfits, and even a new variation of the Backwoods Bungalow, by completing Weekly Challenges with your Heart Wrencher equipped.

Bug Fixes

Allies

• Settler Forager: Corrected missing player dialog options for Settler Forager.

Art & Graphics

• Apparel: Fixed texture issues with the Samurai Helmet.
• Apparel: Reduced the gap between the Deep Cave Hunter Backpack and the player’s back.
• Apparel: The Pip-Boy light no longer shines behind the player in the Brotherhood Recon Helmet.
• Apparel: Fixed a texture issue with the Fasnacht Beret.
• Décor: Updated the explosion seen when destroying Wrapped Presents.
• Décor: The flame on Skull Candles no longer appears offset from the wick.
• Items: Updated the explosion effects when destroying Mr. Handy Fuel and Portable Fuel Tanks.
• Lights: Yellow lighting effects no longer persist after the Color Wheel has been turned off.
• Lights: Adjusted the lighting on the “Kill, Laugh, Love” Sign so that the word “Laugh” is no longer too bright.
• Power Armor: Headlamps no longer shine in an incorrect direction when wearing a T-65 Power Armor Helmet that has a paint applied.
• Power Armor: Addressed missing textures and reduced clipping issues with the Captain Cosmos Power Armor.
• Power Armor: War Rider Power Armor now properly protects the player’s posterior.
• Vending Machines: Adjusted the explosion when destroying the Slocum’s Joe Vending Machine.
• Weapons: Mind over Matter’s visual effects no longer appear to come from the player’s shoulder in third-person view.

C.A.M.P. and Workshops

• Exploit: Addressed an exploit affecting item storage in the Stash box.
• Shelters: It is now easier to place structures, like the Seedy Shed, Backwoods Bungalow, and others inside a Shelter, as long as there is enough space to do so.
• Stairs: Stairs can now snap to the front of the Brotherhood of Steel Scout Tower.
• Super Mutant Tube: Players can no longer get stuck inside the Super Mutant Tube while building it.

Challenges

• World: The “Discover Beckley” subchallenge for the “Discover Locales in the Ash Heap” Challenge can now be completed.

Daily Ops

• Rewards: Fixed an issue that could result in no rare reward being granted if the item the player would have received was a non-tradeable item Plan that they had already learned. Now, players will always receive a reward when this occurs.
• Operation Report: Addressed a visual issue that could incorrectly mark reward tiers as already earned in the Daily Ops Operation Report.
  • Please Note: Daily Ops rewards reset at 12:00 p.m. ET each day.

Diseases

• Rad Worms: Rad Worms now only increases Radiation damage taken from consuming food and drinks.

Enemies

• Spawning: Fixed an issue causing enemies to sometimes spawn grouped together at an incorrect location.
• Giant Hermit Crabs: Players can no longer clip through Giant Hermit Crabs.

Items

• Apparel: The Feral Ghoul Mask and Cuddles the Clown Mask no longer obscure the Pip-Boy light.
• Apparel: The Plague Doctor Mask now correctly states that it prevents air borne diseases.
• Apparel: The Swamp Camo Hazmat Suit can now be repaired.
• Armor: Raider Armor now correctly works with the Funky Duds and Sizzling Style Legendary Perks.
• Armor: Recon Armor now correctly adjusts to the players body style.
• Flora: Thistle now correctly turns into Irradiated Thistle when nuked. Irradiated Thistle can now be harvested for Raw Fluorescent Flux.
• Magazines: Fixed an issue causing “Live & Love 8” to cancel out the Very Well Rested bonus from a fourth Lunchbox.
• Magazines: The “Astonishingly Awesome Tales 3” bonus has been changed to allows the player to breathe underwater and regain health while swimming.
• Mods: Weapons with mods that add fire damage, like the War Glaive with the Flaming Blade mod, now work with the Friendly Fire Perk.
• Mods: The Heating Coil mod now correctly states that it deals fire damage.
• Mods: Applying Brawler Armor mods to Brotherhood Recon Armor arm pieces now boosts unarmed damage by 7.5% each.
• Mods: The Reduced Ammo Weight Legendary effect now correctly reduces explosive ammo weight.
• Mods: Adding Pocketed mods to a Boiled Leather Chest Piece no longer incorrectly increases the item’s durability.
• Plans: Fixed an issue that caused players to unlearn Plans for Lawn Flamingos and Wooden Desks.
• Power Armor: The Targeting HUD mod now only highlights hostile targets.
• Power Armor: The Explosive Vents mod has been renamed “Cooling Vents.” Cooling Vents slow Fusion Core drain by 5%.
• Weapons: Fixed an issue where certain weapons that shoot multiple projectiles were taking too much condition damage.
• Weapons: The Crusader Pistol Reflex sights no longer appear distorted when the Pyro receiver is equipped.
• Weapons: The Stabilized Bull Barrel now correctly counts towards mods learned on the .44.
• Weapons: Baton that have a paint or skin applied can now be changed back to their default appearance.
• Weapons: Changed the Plasma Cutter’s speed description to Medium.
• Weapons: Crossbows can now be changed back to their standard frame.
• Weapons: Players can now correctly reapply the Wounding mod to a Bone Club after switching it to No Upgrade.

Mutations

• Plague Walker: The Plague Walker Mutation's description no longer incorrectly states that it removes Disease durations. This was only a description change, the Mutation's functionality has not been adjusted.

NPCs

• Brotherhood: Brotherhood of Steel Hopefuls and Initiates will no longer take damage when nuked.
• Brotherhood: NPCs will no longer say hello to the player while they are talking to Russell Dorsey.
• Brotherhood: Addressed dialogue issues with NPCs during “Property Rights.”
• Putnam Brothers: Now have appropriate dialog if neither were recruited to Fort Atlas when the player revisits them.
• Settlers: Fixed the collision on Settlers at East Mountain Lookout Tower.
• Scribe Valdez: No longer comments on documents players have already collected during Mother of Invention.
• Scribe Valdez: Fixed an issue that prevented Valdez from playing certain voice lines during “Mother of Invention.”
• Scribe Valdez: Valdez's clipboard will no longer clip through her while in a downed animation.
• Vendors: The Flatwoods Vendor will no longer sometimes appear invisible to players.

Performance and Stability

• Client Stability: Fixed multiple crashes that could occur during combat.
• Client Stability: Addressed a crash that could occur while scrolling the Notes tab in the Pip-Boy.
• Connectivity: Fixed an issue that could cause PC players to receive a “Disconnected due to modified game files” error during normal gameplay and kick them from their current world.
• Server Stability: Addressed an issue that could cause a server crash.
• Performance: Addressed an issue that could cause the game client to hitch while viewing the Aid tab in the Pip-Boy.
• Performance: Addressed an issue that could cause the game client to hitch when sorting the Pip-Boy by spoil.
• Performance: Fixed an issue that could result in framerate drops inside Fort Atlas.

Perks

• Dodgy: Now has a 2 second cooldown on AP drain. The damage reduction is still active during the AP cooldown. This prevents players’ AP from completely draining when hit by high rate of fire weapons.
• Friendly Fire: The health regeneration effects from Friendly Fire no longer stack, but heal faster. This makes it so all weapons heal at the same rate.
• Stabilized: Fixed an issue that prevented Stabilized from working correctly while wearing Power Armor.
• Super Duper: Fanfare and sound effects no longer incorrectly play when crafting Legendary Items.

Quests and Events

• Disarming Discovery: Dagger will no longer attempt to talk to the player if they are in the shed.
• Disarming Discovery: Dagger’s Key will now longer reappear on her corpse after logging out and back in if the player has already looted it.
• Dogwood Die Off: Fixed an issue where the quest target does not appear correctly on the trunk.
• Fasnacht Day: Players will now correctly earn a three-star legendary item upon event completion.
• Fasnacht Day: Super Mutant Suiciders will no longer continue to spawn after Fasnacht ends.
• Fasnacht Day: Addressed an issue that could cause the Master of Ceremonies to spawn outside of the event area.
• Fasnacht Day: The Robotics Expert Perk can no longer be used to Hack the Parade Marcher bots.
• Fasnacht Day: Looting Porcelain Steins during the Fasnacht Day event no longer prevents players from picking up additional Porcelain Steins during the next Fasnacht on that same world.
• Field Testing: The Putnam parents are now more visible during the intro scene.
• Field Testing: Fixed a rare issue that could cause the player to see a blank dialogue box when speaking with Paladin Rahmani.
• Forbidden Knowledge: Addressed several issues affecting Forbidden Knowledge and Technical Data, and this quest has been re-enabled.
  • Please Note: Technical Data can no longer be dropped, traded, or Sold.
• Mother of Invention: The Mysterious Component now remains a quest item after relogging.
• Mother of Invention: The bag of dirt in the Ultracite Battery housing will no longer disappear when the player returns to the instance.
• Mother of Invention: Addressed an issue that could cause Scribe Valdez to not fight back when attacked by enemies.
• Mother of Invention: The Mysterious Component in “Mother of Invention” will now display an inventory message when the player extracts it.
• Mother of Invention: Addressed a lore continuity issue in Rahmani and Shin’s dialogue regarding Paladin Taggerdy.
• Over and Out: The animation of the transmitter getting destroyed no longer plays prematurely.
• Overseer, Overseen: Dialogue and quest will now progress appropriately when returning the security footage to Head Engineer Brass.
• The Best Defense: A quest target now correctly points to Paladin Rahmani after being directed to speak with the Brotherhood upstairs.
• The Best Defense: Fixed an issue that could cause more enemy waves to spawn than intended during the quest’s final encounter.
• Trade Secrets: The quest marker to collect the Pip-Boy Construction kit now consistently points to Vault-Tec University.

Sound

• Scoreboard: Entering the Scoreboard quickly no longer causes the sound to disappear.

User Interface

• Atomic Shop: Once owned, the Brotherhood of Steel Icon now correctly appears in the Player Icons page in the Atomic Shop.
• Fast Travel: Added an error message when trying to fast travel to a C.A.M.P. that the player is too close to.
• Map: Fixed an issue where the map could be opened while viewing a terminal.
• Map: Fixed a rare issue that could cause item counts in a player’s Vending Machine preview on the Map to mismatch the number of items in that Vending Machine.
• Notifications: Fixed an issue where fanfare would sometimes not play after completing a timed challenge.
• Perk Coins: Fixed a visual issue that could cause the player’s Perk Coin total to display an incorrect number of Perk Coins after scrapping Perk Cards.
• Pip-Boy: Items with long names are no longer cut off in the Pip-Boy.
• Quests: Fixed an issue causing the “Forging Trust” objective tracker to remain on the screen after the quest was completed.
• Scoreboard: Fallout 1st exclusive rewards are now claimed separately from standard rewards on the Scoreboard.
• Social Menu: Improved mouse controls on pop-ups in the social menu.
• Teams: The Team UI will no longer flash while repairing items at a workbench.

World

• World: Fixed several locations in the world where players could become stuck.
• World: Fixed several locations where players could view out of world.

Not exactly an IDWH, so much as a I Don’t Work There...
First time posting anything like this, but I’ll try to be as precise as possible. For this story, we’ll need to take a trip in the Wayback Machine, back to the far-flung realm of 1994. The internet was still a strange and unusual thing, the Super Nintendo and Genesis were on the waning edge of the console cycles, and I (as a 15yo) was into it. The high school version of water cooler talk was what games were we playing, did we know this, have we tried that, etc.
Coming into the holiday season, I was feeling my inner math geek come to the forefront, as the parents had long since told me about Santa, and instead I was given the directive: “You have this much money for this year’s presents. Make it last.” Yes, ma’am! As I had not been introduced to any sort of spreadsheet aside from margarine, I had to cobble together two sheets of notebook paper, draw out columns and rows, and list out all the games I was interested in for the rows, and the stores I was going to check out for the columns. A handcrafted work, but for my eyes at the time I was pretty proud of it.
Cue me tagging along with mom whenever she went shopping, where I’d split off to do my thing, and she’d take care of hers. All very neat and tidy for some of the more niche and/or departed stores of yesteryear - looking at you, Larger-than-village of the Circuits. All was going well, until one fateful day, when my parents and I were visiting the Mart of Sprawls, and the following situation occurred. Conversations are paraphrased, given the timeframe involved. I will be Me, Salesdroid will be SD, and Dad will be Dad.
After entering the store, the parents went off to the fabric area to indulge Mom’s sewing hobby, while I wandered over to shelf after shelf of electronics goodness. Pulling out my handy chart, I sent to work poring over my options, weighing one game here versus two there. A grand metagame, if you will, to wring every last penny out of my purchases. Only to be stopped dead in my tracks by the bane of shoppers: an empty rack. Hrmm. I wander over to SD, who was manning the register but not busy at the time.
Me: “Excuse me, do you have suchandsuch?”
SD: “Let’s check.”
We both go back, verify the shelf is empty, nothing in the overflow area beneath the shelves, etc. Drat. I pen down a quick N/A in the appropriate box, and go back to my task. After a few moments, I become aware that SD has not gone back to the register, but is standing there, staring at me.
SD: “What are you doing?”
Me: “I’m checking prices for my presents.”
SD: “Don’t do that.”
Me: “Uhh... what?”
SD: “Don’t do that. Competitors aren’t allowed to price-shop us. It’s not allowed.”
Me: “Whatever, dude.”
At that point, I excused myself from that aisle, and walk several over to the entire row devoted to PC games (Steam was not yet in existence). After a few minutes, I notice movement out of the side of my vision, and see SD standing at the end of the aisle. Check my other side, and SD’s clone was standing at the far end. They walk forward together in tandem and box me in.
SD: “You need to leave the store now.”
I was given no room to argue; they just forced me up to the front doors, and then stood there to make sure I didn’t come back in. Now, at the time, I was old enough to have a learner’s permit for driving, so I had my own keys to the car. I go out, sit there for a moment and fume that my plans for the day were shot, and then a stray thought hits me. My parents knew I was in electronics. If they showed up looking for me in a holiday crush, and I was missing, they would absolutely freak out. So I dig in the cup holder for a quarter, march all the way across the parking lot to the gas station on the corner, and reference my handy spreadsheet for the store’s phone number. Call in to the store and have them paged over the intercom. After two pages, they pick up the phone, expecting the worst. One of the grandparents is sick, police trying to find them to deliver bad news, something! What they were not expecting was my chipper voice on the other end of the line.
Dad: “Vemika, what are you doing on the phone? Where are you?”
Me: “I’m at the gas station; they kicked me out.”
Dad: “What?!”
Me: “Yeah! They said I was price-shopping for a competitor and kicked me out.”
And then I hear the words and tone of voice that any kid knows means bad weather on the horizon. Batten down the hatches, Harriet!
Dad: “Get. Back. Here. Now.”
I just about sprinted across the parking lot, as that command brooked no room for misinterpretation. SD and his cohort had already left by the time I got back, so the parents met me at the front door, I explained more fully what happened, and then they walked me back to electronics. SD must have felt the chill of the grave approaching, as he turned around to see me. Pointing at him. With Momma Bear and Poppa Bear over each shoulder. To say he turned white as a sheet would be an understatement, but without a word, he started walking away from us.
The sight of fleeing prey awakened the thrill of the hunt in Momma Bear, so she started chasing him, demanding answers. What happened? Why? Middle of the holiday crush and you kick a kid out of the store where anyone could have been waiting? Up one aisle this scene unfolds, down a second, and up a third before SD has hit his limit. In an instant, he whips around on his heel and smarts off to Momma Bear.
Insert coin Player 2 joins the battle! Turns out Poppa Bears are really protective of their Momma Bears.
What followed was a verbal volley so ferocious and three-sided, I had no hope of following all of it. I just knew that what was unfolding before me could charitably be described as a ‘tag-team mauling’. The conversation got so loud and animated that it attracted the store manager, who had to haul everyone into the employees-only area to sort through it all.
He talks to me first, I explain what I was doing, and hand over my spreadsheet so he can see it. He undoubtedly recognized that I was handing over all his competitors’ numbers, as after a moment he handed it back and said there was nothing wrong with it. He even opined that other store managers will come in to do just that, he’ll walk around with them, chat, etc. Very straightforward interaction, as he described it.
Mom and Dad went next, venting their spleens about the situation, and while it was a bit overdramatic, they still had a pretty good point about kicking a teen out without at least inquiring if a parent is nearby. They weren’t demanding compensation, nor did we get any. They just expressed their outrage and disappointment, and they left their cart full of items where it sat to be returned to the shelves.
As for SD, I didn’t hear about any fallout from his side. But I can say for a fact that the incident was reported, as about a week later I got a call out of the blue from the district manager for the store, to apologize again on the store’s behalf and offer me a challenge of finding a better price than theirs, and they would match it. Which is something I took them up on, several times.
Edit: Corrected a few typos which spellcheck let pass. Also: holy schnikes, I was not expecting this to get as warm a reception as it did; thanks to everyone who gave it a read!

https://steam.cryotank.net/wp-content/gallery/slaythespire/Slay-the-Spire-01-HD.png
Slay the Spire (StS) has finally arrived to Android! For two years many of us dreamed for this legendary game to be accessible on their mobile devices, and finally the day has come. No need to talk about how awesome this game is, how it basically started a new genre of card-based dungeon crawlers (UPD: or roguelike deck-builders, if you prefer the term), and even about how well or poor it works on Android hardware in its current state (there will be lots of these posts during the days to come). What I wanted to talk about is the impact this game had on (specifically) mobile industry and how other developers were able to utilize this innovative formula in their own products.
Personally, I am somewhat glad that StS release was delayed that much. This allowed a lot of "clones" to be spawned, many of which I enjoyed playing. Some of them appear to be straight rip-offs, but others introduced many fresh ideas of their own, some even surpassing the predecessor's greatness. What the heck am I talking about and how is this even possible will be revealed to you, should you decide to stay on a bit and read through the article below.

General info

First and foremost, let's clarify the important thing: card based dungeon crawlers are not Collectible Card Games (CCGs). Even though they share the same ideas, and some of them (StS included) even have a feature to permanently improve starting cards, or a mode to play with pre-constructed decks, this is not the case for the genre in general. There is no place for multiplayer and PvP battles here: a turn-down for the most, but an undeniable advantage for the rest - only though-out puzzle-like single-player experience which we can pause at any moment and continue when the time is appropriate. Thus, there will never be troubles with downtime, matchmaking, ratings, overpowered builds and other PvP stuff, as there will never be a satisfaction of crushing your opponents with the power of your mighty intellect... The fun of discovering interesting synergies between various card combinations is still present, though.
With this being said, let's quickly look through the core features of the genre, which will be relevant for almost every game we review below: - we must explore a dungeon, which (usually, but not necessarily) consists of three floors with increasing difficulty; - we have limited control over the order in which to face the challenges; - there is a powerful boss in the end of each floor; - we battle using deck of cards, usually drawing new cards from deck to hand each turn; - there is a limitation on how many cards we can play during our turn; - we start with a weak basic deck, but get new cards as rewards for fighting enemies; - there is a possibility to permanently remove (weak) cards from the deck; - successful gameplay strategies revolve around utilizing the synergies between different cards; - there are several character classes, each with their own cards and tactics; - there are often additional items to acquire in the dungeon, providing bonuses and emphasizing specific types of play;
Before Slay the Spire (StS) came out, there was another card-based dungeon crawler called Dream Quest (DQ), which considered by many to be the first game of the genre (at least the first one to make a significant impact). Not sure if the former drew inspiration from the latter, but certain parallels can easily be drawn: in fact, all of the features mentioned in the list above are valid for DQ the same way as it is for StS. The rich plethora of card based dungeon crawlers (both PC/Console and mobile) originated from some combination of the two.
StS, however, can not be considered a clone of DQ, as it introduced a lot of original ideas and spawned its own line of descendants. It is always interesting to analyze each new title to see which of two games was the biggest inspiration, and to group them accordingly. For me the main criteria lies in the core difference in battle system: - in StS, enemies (usually multiple) show their intentions at the beginning of each turn, so we know what to expect and what to play against; - in DQ, the enemy (usually single) draws and plays cards the same way as we do, often using the same abilities and synergies we ourselves can use.
Introductions aside, let's finally get to the interesting part - the games! (Note: Games are listed in alphabetical order to not give any privileges to one over another. For my personal preferences see the comment section).

Dream Quest clones

Call of Lophis takes us on a grim journey through infested lands full of deadly monsters, dangerous traps, and one of the most ridiculous card art I have ever seen. It's surprising to see how dark fantasy elements combine with the humor and gags this game presents. From the gameplay point of view, there is enough card variety and interesting synergies, but it will take a long time to reach the interesting parts. Really: this game just does not know when to end, forcing new and new dungeon locations onto us with basically the same monsters and same approaches to dealing with them over and over. Its the boss battles which crank the difficulty up to over 9000, and if we don't have the right deck by the time we reach them, there is nothing we can do to pull it off. Plus there is some shady business going on with monetization schemes, where even paid version of the game makes us spend money to unlock additional classes and grind a lot to buy permanent improvements. Only truly dedicated players will be interested in dealing with all this nonsense. [...] UPD: Haven't checked on it for a long time - maybe the situation improved somehow.
Crimson Deep is still in early alpha and was not updated for a long time. But the development hasn't stopped, and there is a new major release approaching in the nearest future. It makes no sense to talk about the game till then: the version in the store is too raw to provide any significant gameplay experience, but it would be interesting to see where it goes in the end.
Dimension of Dream is probably the only game that has the same grid-based dungeon layout as DQ itself. This time with full 3D and a possibility to fight only limited set of enemies before facing the final boss (which allows to moderate difficulty as we go, either defeating tougher enemies with better rewards, or to save HP and fight only the easy ones). This game has one of the most interesting battle systems and 6 truly unique classes with deep complex strategies unlike anything we have ever seen (not only the cards themselves, but the order in which we play them greatly affects the outcome). Unfortunately, the English version was pulled from Google Play, leaving only Chinese version for Asian people to enjoy. UPD: Apparently, the game was re-released under different publisher with the title Dreaming Dimension, so there you have it. [...]
Meteorfall: Journeys offers the streamlined approach to dungeon crawling, where all our decisions boil down to Reigns-like "swipe left / swipe right" operation: picking the path, encounter resolutions, and even battles are simplified to utilize this binary choice mechanic. But don't worry: these specifics do not affect the gameplay, still providing enough strategic depth to appeal even to hardcore players. Add here a neat visual style, lots of character classes and their variations, cool card combos, and you get a true masterpiece, which is Meteorfall. [...]
Night of the Full Moon offers a fresh take on a fairy tale of Red Riding Hood, but adding darker elements to it (including werewolves, zombies, mad scientists and cursed cultists). It demonstrates an amazing production quality with top-tier art, beautiful audio support, and intriguing storytelling. Gameplay wise, we have the closest thing to DQ, safe for the grid-based dungeon maps, which were changed to just picking the encounter out of available three. Some people may argue that the game does not offer enough strategic variety, only suggesting a single best build for each class, but you will still get different runs due to the randomness of card and power-up drops. Another argument of it being too easy is completely nullified on higher difficulty levels. Wish the story would develop in a different direction, though. [...]
Spellsword Cards: Origins provides the gameplay similar to the Night of the Full moon, but focuses more on role-playing character development part. Aside from choosing a class, we also get to pick race with unique traits, and a school of magic, greatly affecting which cards will be available to us during the run. The problem here, though, is that monster encounters do not demonstrate a lot of variety, forcing us to fight the same enemies over and over, and the difficulty is rather high, with starting cards doing almost nothing and enemies quickly run out of hand with their devastating attacks, whereas good cards are hard to come by, and even then you will still be devastated on later stages. [...] UPD: Or maybe I am just bad at this game (welcome to comment section for valid strategy suggestions).

Slay the Spire clones

Blood Card offers a unique possibility to construct the dungeon ourselves, providing a pool of encounters of different types: regular monsters, elite monsters, events and shops. We pick a desired encounter from the pool, deal with it and then move on to the next one. Another interesting feature is that our health is defined by the number of cards in draw pile, which limits our tactical possibilities, but is compensated by the fact that we get multiple copies of cards as rewards for fighting enemies. There are a lot of interesting mechanics related to moving cards between various piles, as well as other neat features (like: the Death inevitably arrives in three turns and starts whacking everyone on the field with increasing persistence), but I'll leave them for you to discover on your own.
Card Crusade seemed like a cool idea of mixing classic "roguelike" dungeon crawling with its "deck-based" counterpart, where we explore the dungeon the same way as we do it in Hack, Angband, Pixel Dungeon and other similar games, but use cards to fight actual enemies. In reality though, this implementation just adds a useless abstraction, as the adventuring does not provide any tactical benefits and is only there to inter-connect battle sequences (heck, even breaking pots and chests does not give us any coin, of which developers themselves warn us at the very beginning!). The cards are not very interesting, with next to none cool synergies, and new classes (which should be unlocked by performing specific actions on previous runs) do not provide any major difference. [...]
Card Quest takes us on an epic journey through fantasy lands, where we will perform great deeds as one of the classic RPG hero classes (fighter, wizard, rogue, ranger), each with their own equipment and fighting disciplines. The interesting part is that the cards we use during runs are defined by said equipment, and if we find some new pieces during our adventure, we get to keep them for further runs. Also worth noting that defense cards are played not during our turn, but during enemy turn, which requires us to plan ahead a bit. This being said, the game is extremely hard - it will take a lot of unsuccessful tries to finally reach the end. But the variety of dungeons and possible builds will keep us occupied for long.
Dungeon Tales for a long time was the closest, yet simplified copy of StS mechanics (up to similar cards and gaming strategies), but without certain elaborate features, like upgrading cards or using potions. The basics are left intact though: we still build our deck along the way and face the powerful boss in the end. There are only two characters available yet, but each has a couple of viable builds, so it can keep us invested for quite some time. [...]
Endless Abyss is a close StS clone with very similar character classes (only two so far) and a lot of cards with exactly the same effects. Graphically the game looks very good, but angry monetization, lots of grinding, and forced ads make it almost impossible to fully enjoy. [...]
Heroes of Abyss is a predecessor to Endless Abyss with basically the same core gameplay, but very simplified dungeon crawling part. There is no floor map with choosing our path, nor there are elaborate adventure events: just a series of battles with the boss in the end. The spoils we get after each battle go into improving our starting deck and unlocking new difficulty modes with higher rewards. What makes the game unusual, is that we chose the preferred build right from the beginning with appropriate set of starting cards, without the need to rely on the randomness of card drops. It may be interesting to unlock and compare all the 6 available builds, but once the task is done, there is almost no reason to play the game further.
Heroes Journey provides a different setting for a change: this time we will play as space explorers, who crash landed on an alien planet. Thus, instead of familiar swords and bows, we will be wielding blasters and energy shields: the rest remains the same, up to the majority of cards straight up copied from StS. Unfortunately, this innovative idea was completely ruined by repetitive grinding and angry monetization, forcing player to make dozens of identical runs with the same small card pool, until something adequate is unlocked. Oh, and the game is long abandoned by the developers.
Pirates Outlaws is an amazing rework of original StS ideas in a pirate setting with some changes to gameplay mechanics, such as introducing persistent charges needed to play certain cards, and different buff/debuff statuses that replace each other. There are also some questionable features, such as ship stamina that deteriorates over the course of the journey and leads to game over if not repaired in time, or a quest system, where quests can not be completed in parallel, but instead picking the new quest resets your progress in the current one. Some may also argue that new classes take long to grind for, or expensive to pay for, but with permanent booster pack this should not be a problem. Anyway, the game is highly recommended for any StS fan. [...]
Rogue Adventure offers a twist to usual mechanic: our hand is limited by 4 cards, but each time we use one of them, a new card is immediately drawn to its place, thus we never run out of cards to play. Non-starting cards are common for all classes, but are grouped by type (or race), giving huge synergies depending on how many similar cards we have. Aside from this, the game offers diverse gameplay by providing a lot of different classes, each with its own unique strategies and dynamics, and some interesting items to work around. The developers constantly provide updates with bug fixes and new content, but be warned that new mechanics may break what you are already accustomed for.
Royal Booty Quest started as a straight rip-off from StS with the same classes and abilities, and even cards having the same names. And absolutely atrocious pixelated visuals, which were not possible to look at without eyes bleeding out. Over time, though, it developed its own unique mechanics and interesting card combinations, but the art style did not get any better. However, if this is not a problem, the game is enjoyable to an extent, but since it was not updated for a long time, I doubt it will keeps anyone's interest for long. [...]
Tavern Rumble adds an unusual strategic element - a 3x3 grid, on each units and enemies are placed. The core gameplay remains the same (we still see what opponents are planning to do each turn and adjust our own strategy accordingly), but the addition of the grid introduces another tactical layer: not only we should maximize the damage output, but also plan the layout for our troops to provide the effective delivery of said output, while at the same time establish enough defense to minimize the damage to ourselves. There are a lot of cards and classes to play around, different play modes and a lot of features that are still being constantly added to the game. Some may argue about simplistic pixel graphics or long repetitive grinding, but it is easy to unlock everything within reasonable amount of time, even without paying. [...]

Other Games

Of course, my criteria does not work 100% of the time, as some games are way too different from anything else to confidently enroll them into one of the categories. They either demonstrate traits of both, or implement entirely unique mechanics of their own (which I like the most), while still maintaining the basic dungeon crawling ideas (so a lot of the games you might think of will not end up in the list). What I have in mind is the following:
Dungeon Reels removes the cards from card-based dungeon crawler - why bother, right? Instead, it provides some kind of a slot machine, where each turn three rows spin independently to pick available actions based on what slots we have in our reel. Winning battles awards us with new, better slots to add, each with their own specifics and synergies. Enemies also randomize their moves with slots of their own, but the most satisfying mechanic is the possibility to spin a jackpot with three identical slots for some powerful effect. It is interesting to see this concept developed further, but the game has not been updated for a long time.
Iris and the Giant takes us on journey through imaginary world, inspired by Ancient Greek mythology. Each battle takes place on a grid, where various enemies advance in huge numbers. We play a card from our hand, usually dealing damage to nearest enemy, and then everyone who is still standing and can reach us deals damage in return. There are cards that target multiple enemies at once, as well as ways to play more than one card during our turn, so most of the time we will be deciding which card to play at which moment. The deck has limited size, and if it becomes empty we lose, so new cards should be constantly acquired. There are a lot of interesting mechanics to discover, but the game is very hard and luck based, requiring a lot of trial-and-error to finally reach the end. [...]
Phantom Rose Scarlet has the same basic core, but with completely innovative battle system, not seen in any other game. On each turn there are four positions for cards to be played in strict order, where two of them are randomly filled with opponent's cards, and the remaining two are left for us to fill. Instead of drawing the hand, we have our entire deck available right away, but playing cards puts them on a cooldown, which does not reset between battles, so we constantly face the strategic choice of playing our best cards right away or keep them for later. The game is in active development, providing new mechanics and further developing the story, which is quite captivating here. [...]
Void Tyrant is a bit of a stretch, but still a "card based dungeon crawler", in which we basically play BlackJack against our enemies by dealing card with numbers from 1 to 6 one-by-one from our deck until we stand or bust. Whoever has the highest value wins and deals damage to the loser. There are various supporting cards on top of this mechanic, allowing us to either jinx the outcome in our favor, or to perform various other metagame manipulations. The only downside of the game is the lack of content, as it quickly runs out of interesting things, and since it was not updated for a long time, it is unlikely that anything new will be added in the future. [...]

Conclusion

As you see, there is a lot to play besides StS, so even if you are not hyped by its long-awaited Android release, but appreciate a good intellectual dungeon crawler, you will find something to suit your needs. I hope, even with StS release, new games of the genre will continue appearing on mobile phones, and I will gladly review them and add to the list. If you know any hidden gems (or even trash) that was not highlighted in this article, please share the names and/or links in the comments. I am also open to any discussions on the topic, as I am obviously able to talk a lot about my favorite genre.
Good luck to everyone in all your endeavors.
P.S. I am well aware of games like Dungeon Cards, Card Adventure, Dungeon Faster, Meteorfall: Krumitz Tale, Card Thief, Maze Machina, Cube Card, Card Hog, Fisherman, Relics of the Fallen and other "grid-based puzzles", but do not consider them to be a part of the "family".

Gather round my friends and listen to the very long and very sad tale of my technical nemesis the Maximum PC 1999 Dream Machine.
Back in the late 90s I did tech support in rural Alaska. What's not rural in Alaska you ask?
Well urban Alaska is a place you can drive to on a paved road.
Suburban Alaska is a place you drive to on a road.
Rural Alaska is where downtown is on the road, but the houses not so much.
Remote Alaska takes a boat, plane, train, ATV, snow machine, dog sled, or other non standard mode of transportation.
Anyway on with the story. I worked in town at a small tech shop. We had a frequent customer who lived remote. He was a friend of the shop and spent easily $10,000 a year on hardware for his off-grid "cabin." Every time he came to town he bought some new toy or component and talked shop with us techies.
He was super excited about the new millennium so when Maximum PC released their 1999 Dream Machine he came to us to put one together for him. Top of the line: Pentium 3 - Coppermine 800mhz water cooled and overclocked, 1Gb of CL2 SDRAM, GeForce 256 with dual SLI Voodoo 2s, SCSI 8GB boot drive, Striped 20GB IDE storage array. It was hell on rails and the absolute sexiest machine a gamer could ask for.
For those who aren't reaching retirement age, the Pentium 3 Coppermine CPU was basically unobtainable in 1999 it took us the better part of a month just to find someone willing to sell it to us. We paid 3x retail and considered ourselves fortunate to have gotten it at all. Then we had it overnighted to Alaska from somewhere in Indiana for an additional ton of money. CPU alone ended up costing $3000.
The CPU was the last part to arrive and the shop basically closed down when FedEx arrived. We thoroughly inspected the package for signs of damage, triple checked our grounding straps, and everyone watched in awe and trepidation as the lead tech ever so gingerly placed it into the socket. A dab of Silver Fox and the stock heat sink later we're ready for first boot... Hurray it POSTs!
So we do the usual, slap Windows 98SE install disk in let it get to work on install. Install finishes up and we start up 3DMark, gonna get us a high score! Nope... Halfway through the test BSOD! Crap, okay wire check, temp check everything is good. 2nd try, fingers crossed... Boom BSOD.
2 hours of frantic forums searching later. 98SE hates more RAM than 512 unless you tweak a bunch of system settings. So we pull out half the RAM start it back up, run 3DMark so we know it was just the RAM amount. Benchmark score is nice, like double any of our personal rig scores nice. So we tweak some system settings, shut it down, add the RAM back in, spin it up, Mark it. Success!
Burn in time. Now sure we could have set 3DMark on a loop, but this rig was worth better than half a year's salary and the hottest setup we had ever seen. So we hooked it up to the shop network, big screen, and speakers and payed Unreal Tournament till 2am. Satisfied with the hardware we made our way home.
Bright and early the next morning we show up and get to the hard work of switching from air cooled to water cooled. We ran the tubes, measured twice, cut once, plumbed the blocks, checked for leaks...
No leaks!
Drained 'em set aside to let dry, took off the fans from ALL THE THINGS!!!, installed the water blocks, filled the system, prayed to all the gods we could think of, and checked for leaks...
No leaks!!
Second burn in time! It's business hours now though so it's 3DMark on a loop. Rig runs all day CPU levels off at 45c and stays. Awesome! Full load 45c we're good for phase 3. Let's see what this baby can do! Hit the BIOS set the FSB from 100mhz to 133mhz hell yeah! We've got GHZ! Score it again, this time it's mind blowing. I can't for the life of me remember the score but it was insane. So we start the true burn in, watching like hawks crowded around the bench, staring blinkless at the CPU temp. 45, 50, 55, 60... no sign of slowing, 65, 70, 75... fingers poised to abort because none of us can afford to replace this CPU, 76, 77, 77, 77!
Stable!!!
So we let it run and call the customer. Congratulations Mr. Customer sir it's a thing of beauty, come pick it up. Per shop policy we put it in a place of prominence next to the counter and hooked up to the biggest CRT we had for the ceremonial presentation. Customer finally arrives, as giddy as a rough and tumble Alaskan fisherman can be. It's late December so we shout Merry Christmas and usher him to his newest acquisition. He's delighted of course, and since we're in town and have DSL he's got a request. He pulls a copy of Quake off the shelf, writes out a check and takes his rig to our "cyber cafe" to pwn some folks. (Yes I know this was like 5 years before pwn was coined, cut me a little slack.) He spent the rest of the day and a bunch of that evening in there happy as a clam. On the sickest rig I'd ever seen.
Now if that was the end of it this would be the long, pleasant, and anticlimactic story of building a rich guy a computer. This is the long, sad, and sordid affair of the Dream PC 1999. We're only halfway through.
Our happy customer takes his prize home, the owner cashes the $8,000 check, everyone is happy, we close up shop and take Christmas with our families.
New Year comes around and we get a call from our favorite customer. He finally got new telephone out to his place and got DSL but he can't run Quake for more than 5 minutes without the system freezing up. With great trepidation the phone tech asks if it smells funny or there's any water leaking from the bottom...
Nope dry and smell free!
"Ok then bring it in for your 12 months of free warranty service, we'll see what's up with it."
A few days later in he comes with the rig under his arm, evidently chagrined but in good spirits. He gets the favorite customer treatment and we set the rig up on the test bench immediately. It works, flawlessly. Boot up Quake crank the settings to max run a round still fine. Slap 3dMark on it it chews it up and spits out a mind blowing score. We show the customer and he asks us to keep stress testing it while he goes shopping and he'll stop by after. So we spend 2 hours poking at it trying to make it fail but no dice, it's the most stable overclocked machine we've ever seen. When the customer comes back we pronounce it provisionally fixed and he takes it home.
Two days later phone call, "Quakey no worky." Alright bring it back in... This time we're serious we keep it overnight. Which means over a week since the customer only comes in to town once a week. So for a week we poke, prod, and abuse this computer. Constantly running benchmarks and games, use it as the technical teams super gaming rig in-store after hours. We can't make it fail. We call the customer back "Look this thing works like a champ we can't break it" he comes in we show him. He takes it to the cafe it works, so he takes it home.
The next week... "Rigs not working again, maybe it wants a car ride?" In he comes with it. Per usual it works, he shops, he takes it home.
The next day, "Car ride didn't work, can I schedule a house call?" Generally house calls weren't a problem, but remember I said this guy lived remote. He was 40 miles out of town, only 20 of those were paved or plowed and the last 10 weren't even road. No one in the shop wanted to burn a full day going out there for warranty work in February in Alaska, but since Windows Server 2000 was fresh on the market we offered him a copy on the house if he brought the rig back in and let us reinstall it. We figured that maybe the issue had to do with the system tweaks we had done to make 98 accept the RAM. It was a long shot but we were desperate.
The next week in comes our customer and his dream rig. He leaves it in our care and we spend the next week backing up, wiping, installing the new OS, and burning the rig in again. It still handles like a champ the whole time. Never as much as a jitter. When he comes back in we have the rig set up in the cafe all ready for him to test, which he does but you can see the glee has gone out of him. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop when he gets home.
And drop it does. We don't hear from him for two weeks but that's because he was afraid to call the night he got it home. He still can't game on it. This time when he asks for a service call we schedule it. The lead tech was the only one of us that owned a Skidoo to make the last 10 miles so he got the pleasure of making the trip. He set it for Friday morning so he could make a whole weekend trip out of it and go skidooing after the call out.
Does the boss get his happy weekend? NO! The curse of the intermittent problem rises up to defeat him.
He's there on site for 6 hours. The customer isn't lying, the rig will idle fine, but 5 minutes of Quake and it reboots. Not BSOD, just reboots like the reset button got pushed. He used every tool he had with him but couldn't find anything wrong with it. He even took 3dMark and a copy of Unreal Tournament out in case it was somehow something about Quake in specific. It wasn't, he couldn't run anything graphics or CPU intensive without it shutting down. So he restored the FSB to 100mhz thinking it must be an OC thing...Nope still won't run, just now it fails while not performing as well. So instead of a long weekend of Skidoo he has to bring the rig back to our bench to be tested component by component.
After a week of bench testing each component we still haven't gotten anything to fail either individually or together, but we're on the hook with this guy for the most expensive rig anyone has ever built so we RMA every piece we can one at a time, with a trip back to the customer after every RMA. Over the next 2 months we made that rig onto a Ship of Theseus, that means everything from the case on in has been replaced except for the CPU. We kept the CPU for last since we got that technically aftermarket we were on the hook for it and couldn't RMA it. By that point though it was May and we just bought another one retail. It was still $1000...
I remind you that at no point has this rig been anything other than amazing for us to use in the shop and between the time and the extra expense we'd killed any profit we had on the deal but this customer was still our best customer so we kept at it.
Memorial Day rolls around and I get the delivery job for the now entirely new PC. The "road" is dry now so I can take it in my off road truck along with every tester I own, my personal bench PC, and a take no prisoners attitude. This will be a solved issue!
I rolled out with a multimeter, network tester, lineman's handset, broad spectrum RF analyzer, oscilloscope, surge protector, UPS, you name it I had it, and I checked everything. Power? He was on a generator after all. He took me and showed me his setup, 20kw pure sine wave inverter cleaner power than we had in town. Telephone? It was a new copper run... Tested dead on for voltage, coms were clear. Turns out he's paid $3000 a mile for 8 miles of run to his property line. Then hired out for another mile to the cabin privately specifically to have good enough signal to get maxed out DSL internet.
I setup both his computer and my bench rig. Bench rig first in case I was wrong about the power and network. Bench rig goes up gets online plays Quake. Not at the same settings his could but it runs gaming and then 30 min of benchmark without a hitch. So moment of truth, I took down my rig put up his. Hooked it up to all the same peripherals, then booted it up. First ran 3DMark and it went...Fine!! I stepped aside and he took over double clicked Quake III and... Quakey Worky! I shouted, he shouted, he spun up some Rage Against the Machine and we rocked out to our hard fought victory. Then I packed up all my stuff and left feeling secure in my technical superiority.
But was that the end? It was certainly long, but that's not sad enough.
Summer Solstice (June 20th) is a big day in Alaska the longest day of the year. People host BBQs and stay out late under the midnight sun. So it wasn't a huge surprise when our customer invited the whole tech support team out to his place for a solstice party. He knew how much work we'd put into making his computer the dream he had envisioned. We closed the shop a little early and headed out. When we got there there were a bunch of people, BBQ, beer, I think there was even a 3 legged race at one point. It was midweek so nobody was planning on staying too late but the host asked us to stay after everyone started to disperse.
When it was just us techies and our host he went in and brought a bottle of scotch and 5 glasses out to the deck we were all on. He poured, served, and toasted to hard work and perseverance paying off. We drank and then our host pointed out a beige box at the bottom of his field maybe 150 yards from the house. "I invited you guys out here today because you deserve to see this." he said as he went inside grabbed a .308 deer rifle off his mantle, walked down off the deck into the pasture and unloaded 5 rounds into what I then realized was a computer case.
He slung the rifle over his shoulder, went down the field and retrieved his target. Brought it back up for us to inspect. All this while we stared aghast after him wondering why he would literally shoot a dream computer to bits. We asked as much when he returned and he ushered us inside to his living room and attached a camcorder to his TV. There in full living color with a date in the corner of June 10th was a 5 minute video of a computer refusing to run Quake III...

The Problem

I’m seeing a big influx of new users asking questions about where to buy their first bitcoin or ethereum and how to store it. I didn’t realize this before, but mega corps such as PayPal, Robinhood, and Wealthsimple do not allow their users to actually withdraw their crypto to their own wallet. You only have the option to buy and sell the coin on their platform. This is terrible for the community and not at all what cryptocurrency is all about. These companies are basically creating gated communities where they are profiting from pure speculation, and is detrimental because if you buy on these platforms you will never have the ability to actually hold your own coins. Ethereum is also a utility coin, for you to actually interact with the Ethereum network you need Ether. If you are never able to withdraw the coin, how will you ever interact with the network? You’ll never be able to try out these new Defi projects, stake your own coins, or try out any of the cool new Dapps that will for sure come out in the future. You will end up in the same place which spurred satoshi to invent BTC in order to avoid, which is having an entity or a government that can take away everything you own at any moment. They are also creating a system where they are taking your money to buy more BTC/ETH but they never have to sell their holdings.

Why is giving your money to these companies a bad idea?

If you are giving your money to these type of companies, then you are fundamentally misunderstanding the value proposition of BTC/ETH and are making an uninformed and bad investment decision. You are investing in the downfall of the community. You may make money in the short term, but the long term prospects of you surviving in this space is low, and decrease the potential for the market as a whole. The reason why Bitcoin was invented in the first place is so that people can transfer value over the internet without corrupt government or malicious companies being able to take that away from you. By giving money to these companies you are basically signaling to the market that you don’t understand the value of BTC or ETH at all, and you’re just here to try to make a quick buck. This in turn gives the mega corps more money to market to other newbies that are trying to make a quick buck and the cycle continues. These mega corps will end up dominating the market, and perhaps get to the point where they have unnatural influence on the direction of the chain. We may just end up exactly where we started and then what’s the point of even being on these block chains?
If capitalism is your religion, money is our prayer, BTC is your denomination, then you are worshipping the devil by giving your money to these type of coroporations

Can these type of exchanges be good for some people?

I do see the value of these type of platforms for a very specific type of person: someone that only wants to speculate on BTC/ETH and don’t actually want to use, try, or participate at all in the community. By using a platform that doesn’t allow you to withdraw means that in the event you get hacked you will never lose money that the mega corp is unwilling to reimburse. But that just means that you make no attempt to take responsibility for your personal digital security, and will never truly own something online that other people don’t have control over. And that’s fine. Someone’s grandma that wants exposure to BTC without any of the risk might choose this route. But if that’s the case, then I would suggest you just invest in something else instead, because if you don’t see the importance of owning something yourself online then your not investing into BTC/ETH for the right reasons. I strongly implore you to understand what it means to hold your own coin and keys. There is definitely risk - it’s ALL the risk. But that’s the point, understanding digital identity and digital value to the point where it is absolutely EVERYTHING. There is a saying in the crypto community - not your key, not your coin and that’s exactly what these type of platforms are boxing you into. Crypto forces you to live in the new reality where understanding the underlying technology is everything.
For those newbies out there looking the next moonshot - if you don’t fundamentally understand what you’re getting yourself into, how do you expect you’re going to find the next 10x 30x thing? Money is not just going to drop out of the sky

Companies that don’t allow for withdraws:

please let me know which companies don’t allow for withdraws and I’ll continue adding to this list so that newbies can have a quick look at which companies they should definitely not give their business to

• PayPal
• RobinHood
• Wealthsimple
• Etoro

So if you are new, where do you buy your BTC/ETH?

This question is going to be heavily dependent on what part of the world you are from. If you are about to post this type of question, please include which country you are from and what currency you want to buy in.

What wallet do I withdraw to?

The community consensus for long term holding is hardware wallets. The most popular ones are Ledger and Trezor which are both multi-coin wallets. ONLY ever buy directly from these websites, and never from resellers as they could potentially have been tampered with. If spending extra money is out of the question for you, then consider looking into generating a wallet with virtual machine that is not connected to the internet. I’m not as familiar with this method of wallet generation so I’ll let more informed people chime in on this. Alternatively, the least secure way out of the bunch would be to use an extension wallet like Metamask or MyEtherWallet.
Ledger have previous had a data breach where their customers information was leaked to the web. The hardware wallets themselves are still secure, but Google the circumstances of this to make your own informed decision on whether or not you want to continue using this wallet.

I have questions, and I need help!

We understand that crypto is hard, and there are a barrage of information, traps, and scams out there on the internet, but it’s very difficult to help you when you don’t provide adequate information. You are much more likely to get support from the community if you are more specific with your question and provide as much details as possible (never under any circumstance post your private key or 12/24 mnemonic key online while asking for help.)

In the late 1980s and early 1990s when I was a young teen growing up in far North Austin, it was a popular custom for many boys in the neighborhood to assemble at the local Stop-N-Go after school on a regular basis for some Grand Champion level tournaments in Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat. The collective insistence of our mothers and fathers to get out of the house, get some exercise, and refrain from playing NES or Sega on the television only led us to seek out more video games at the convenience store down the road. Much allowance and lunch money was spent as well as hours that should have been devoted to homework among the 8 or 9 regular boys in attendance, often challenging each other to 'Best of 5' matches. I myself played Dhalsim and SubZero, and not very well, so I rarely ever made it to the 5th match. The store workers frequently kicked us out for the day only to have us return when they weren't working the counter anymore if not the next day.
There is something about that which has been lost in the present day. While people can today download the latest games on Steam or PSN or in the app store on your smartphone, you can't just find arcade games in stores and restaurants like you used to be able to. And so the fun of a spontaneous 8 or 10 person multiplayer video game tournament has been confined to places like bars, pool halls, Pinballz or Dave&Busters.
But in truth it was that ubiquity of arcade video games, how you could find them in any old 7-11 or Laundromat, which is what killed the original arcades of the early 1980s before the Great Crash of 1983 when home video game consoles started to catch up to what you saw in the arcade.
I was born in the mid 1970s so I missed out on Pong. I was kindergarten age when the Golden Age of Arcade Games took place in the early 1980s. There used to be a place called Skateworld on Anderson Mill Road that was primarily for roller skating but had a respectable arcade in its own right. It was there that I honed my skills on the original Tron, Pac Man, Galaga, Pole Position, Defender, and so many others. In the 1980s I remember visiting all the same mall arcades as others in my age group. There was Aladdin's Castle in Barton Creek Mall, The Gold Mine in Highland, and another Gold Mine in Northcross which was eventually renamed Tilt. Westgate Mall also had an arcade but being a north austin kid I never went there until later in the mid 1990s. There were also places like Malibu Grand Prix and Showbiz Pizza and Chuck-E-Cheeze, all of which had fairly large arcades for kids which were the secondary attraction.
If you're of a certain age you will remember Einsteins and LeFun on the Drag. They were there for a few decades going back way before the Slacker era. Lesser known is that the UT Student Union basement used to have an arcade that was comparable to either or both of those places. Back in the pre-9/11 days it was much easier to sneak in if you even vaguely looked like you could be a UT student.
But there was another place I was too young to have experienced called Smitty's up further north on 183 at Lake Creek in the early 1980s. I never got to go there but I always heard about it from older kids at the time. It was supposed to have been two stories of wall to wall games with a small snack bar. I guess at the time it served a mostly older teen crowd from Westwood High School and for that reason younger kids my age weren't having birthday parties there. It wasn't around very long, just a few years during the Golden Age of Arcades.
It is with almost-forgotten early arcades like that in mind that I wanted to share with y'all some examples of places from The Golden Age of the Video Arcade in Austin using some old Statesman articles I've found. Maybe someone of a certain age on here will remember them. I was curious what they were like, having missed out by being slightly too young to have experienced most of them first hand. I also wanted to see the original reaction to them in the press. I had a feeling there was some pushback from school/parent/civic groups on these facilities showing up in neighborhood strip malls or next to schools, and I was right to suspect. But I'm getting ahead of myself. First let's list off some places of interest. Be sure to speak up if you remember going to any of these, even if it was just for some other kid's birthday party. Unfortunately some of the only mentions about a place are reports of a crime being committed there, such as our first few examples.
Forgotten Arcade #1
Fun House/Play Time Arcade - 2820 Guadalupe
June 15, 1975

ARCADE ENTHUSIASM
A gang fight involving 20 30 people erupted early Saturday morning in front of an arcade on Guadalupe Street. The owner of the Fun House Arcade at 282J Guadalupe told police pool cues, lug wrenches, fists and a shotgun were displayed during the flurry. Police are unsure what started the fisticuffs, but one witness at the scene said it pitted Chicanos against Anglos. During the fight the owner of the arcade said a green car stopped at the side of the arcade and witnesses reported the barrel of a shotgun sticking out. The crowd wisely scattered and only a 23-year-old man was left lying on the ground. He told police he doesn't know what happened.

March 3, 1976

ARCADE ROBBED
A former employee of Play Time Arcade, 2820 Guadalupe, was charged Tuesday in connection with the Tuesday afternoon robbery of his former business. Police have issued a warrant for the arrest of Ronnie Magee, 22, of 1009 Aggie Lane, Apt. 306. Arcade attendant Sam Garner said he had played pool with the suspect an hour before the robbery. He told police the man had been fired from the business two weeks earlier. Police said a man walked in the arcade about 2:45 p m. with a blue steel pistol and took $180. Magee is charged with first degree aggravated robbery. Bond was set on the charge at $15,000.

First it was called Fun House and then renamed Play Time a year later. I'm not sure what kind of arcade games beyond Pong and maybe Asteroids they could have had at this place. The peak of the Pinball craze was supposed to be around 1979, so they might have had a few pinball machines as well. A quick search of youtube will show you a few examples of 1976 video games like Death Race. The location is next to Ken's Donuts where PokeBowl is today where the old Baskin Robbins location was for many years.
Forgotten Arcade #2
Green Goth - 1121 Springdale Road
May 15, 1984

A 23-year-old man pleaded guilty Monday to a January 1983 murder in East Austin and was sentenced to 15 years in prison. Jim Crowell Jr. of Austin admitted shooting 17-year-old Anthony Rodriguez in the chest with a shotgun after the two argued outside the Green Goth, a games arcade at 1121 Springdale Road, on Jan. 23, 1983. Crowell had argued with Rodriguez and a friend of Rodriguez at the arcade, police said. Crowell then went to his house, got a shotgun and returned to the arcade, witnesses said. When the two friends left the arcade, Rodriguez was shot Several weeks ago Crowell had reached a plea bargain with prosecutors for an eight-year prison term, but District Judge Bob Perkins would not accept the sentence, saying it was shorter than sentences in similar cases. After further plea bargaining, Crowell accepted the 15-year prison sentence.

I can't find anything else on Green Goth except reports about this incident with a murder there. There is at least one other report from 1983 around the time of Crowell's arrest that also refer to it as an arcade but reports the manager said the argument started over a game of pool. It's possible this place might have been more known for pool.
Forgotten Arcades #3 & #4
Games, Etc. - 1302 S. First St
Muther's Arcade - 2532 Guadalupe St
August 23, 1983

Losing the magic touch - Video Arcades have trouble winning the money game
It was going to be so easy for Lawrence Villegas, a video game junkie who thought he could make a fast buck by opening up an arcade where kids could plunk down an endless supply of quarters to play Pac-Man, Space Invaders and Asteroids. Villegas got together with a few friends, purchased about 30 video games and opened Games, Etc. at 1302 S. First St in 1980. .,--.... For a while, things, went great Kids waited in line to spend their money to drive race cars, slay dragons and save the universe.
AT THE BEGINNING of 1982, however, the bottom fell out, and Villegas' revenues fell from $400 a week to $25. Today, Games, Etc. is vacant Villegas, 30, who is now working for his parents at Tony's Tortilla Factory, hasn't decided what he'll do with the building. "I was hooked on Asteroids, and I opened the business to get other people hooked, too," Villegas said. "But people started getting bored, and it wasn't worth keeping the place open. In the end, I sold some machines for so little it made me sick."
VILLEGAS ISNT the only video game operator to experience hard times, video game manufacturers and distributors 'It used to be fairly common to get $300 a week from a machine. Now we rarely get more than $100 .
Pac-Man's a lost cause. Six months ago, you could resell a Pac-Man machine for $1,600. Now, you're lucky to get $950 if you can find a buyer." Ronnie Roark says. In the past year, business has dropped 25 percent to 65 percent throughout the country, they say. Most predict business will get even worse before the market stabilizes. Video game manufacturers and operators say there are several reasons for the sharp and rapid decline: Many video games can now be played at home on television, so there's no reason to go to an arcade. The novelty of video games has worn off. It has been more than a decade since the first ones hit the market The decline can be traced directly to oversaturation or the market arcade owners say. The number of games in Austin has quadrupled since 1981, and it's not uncommon to see them in coin-operated laundries, convenience stores and restaurants.
WITH SO MANY games to choose from, local operators say, Austinites be came bored. Arcades still take in thousands of dollars each week, but managers and owners say most of the money is going to a select group of newer games, while dozens of others sit idle.
"After awhile, they all seem the same," said Dan Moyed, 22, as he relaxed at Muther's Arcade at 2532 Guadalupe St "You get to know what the game is going to do before it does. You can play without even thinking about it" Arcade owners say that that, in a nutshell, is why the market is stagnating.
IN THE PAST 18 months, Ronnie Roark, owner of the Back Room at 2015 E. Riverside Drive, said his video business has dropped 65 to 75 percent Roark, . who supplied about 160 video games to several Austin bars and arcades, said the instant success of the games is what led to their demise. "The technology is not keeping up with people's demand for change," said Roark, who bought his first video game in 1972. "The average game is popular for two or three months. We're sending back games that are less than five months old."
Roark said the market began dropping in March 1982 and has been declining steadily ever since. "The drop started before University of Texas students left for the summer in 1982," Roark said. "We expected a 25 percent drop in business, and we got that, and more. It's never really picked up since then. - "It used to be fairly common to get $300 a week from a machine. Now we rarely get more than $100. 1 was shocked when I looked over my books and saw how much things had dropped."
TO COMBAT THE slump, Roark said, he and some arcade owners last year cut the price of playing. Even that didn't help, he said. Old favorites, such as Pac-Man, which once took in hundreds of dollars each week, he said, now make less than $3 each. "Pac-Man's a lost cause," he said. "Six months ago, you could resell a Pac-Man machine for $1,600. Now, you're lucky to get $950 if you can find a buyer." Hardest hit by the slump are the owners of the machines, who pay $3,500 to $5,000 for new products and split the proceeds with the businesses that house them.
SALEM JOSEPH, owner of Austin Amusement and Vending Co., said his business is off 40 percent in the past year. Worse yet, some of his customers began returning their machines, and he's having a hard time putting them back in service. "Two years ago, a machine would generate enough money to pay for itself in six months,' said Joseph, who supplies about 250 games to arcades. "Now that same machine takes 18 months to pay for itself." As a result, Joseph said, he'll buy fewer than 15 new machines this year, down from the 30 to 50 he used to buy. And about 50 machines are sitting idle in his warehouse.
"I get calls every day from people who want to sell me their machines," Joseph said. "But I can't buy them. The manufacturers won't buy them from me." ARCADE OWNERS and game manufacturers hope the advent of laser disc video games will buoy the market Don Osborne, vice president of marketing for Atari, one of the largest manufacturers of video games, said he expects laser disc games to bring a 25 percent increase in revenues next year. The new games are programmed to give players choices that may affect the outcome of the game, Os borne said. "Like the record and movie industries, the video game industry is dependent on products that stimulate the imagination," Osborne said "One of the reasons we're in a valley is that we weren't coming up with those kinds of products."
THE FIRST of the laser dis games, Dragonslayer and Star Wan hit the market about two months ago. Noel Kerns, assistant manager of The Gold Mine Arcade in Northcross Mall, says the new games are responsible for a $l,000-a-week increase in revenues. Still, Kerns said, the Gold Mine' total sales are down 20 percent iron last summer. However, he remain optimistic about the future of the video game industry. "Where else can you come out of the rain and drive a Formula One race car or save the universe?" hi asked.
Others aren't so optimistic. Roark predicted the slump will force half of all operators out of business and will last two more years. "Right now, we've got a great sup ply and almost no demand," Roark said. "That's going to have to change before things get- significantly better."

Well there is a lot to take from that long article, among other things, that the author confused "Dragonslayer" with "Dragon's Lair". I lol'd.
Anyone who has been to Emo's East, formerly known as The Back Room, knows they have arcade games and pool, but it's mostly closed when there isn't a show. That shouldn't count as an arcade, even though the former owner Ronnie Roark was apparently one of the top suppliers of cabinet games to the area during the Golden Era. Any pool hall probably had a few arcade games at the time, too, but that's not the same as being an arcade.
We also learn from the same article of two forgotten arcades: Muthers at 2522 Guadalupe where today there is a Mediterranean food restaurant, and another called Games, Etc. at 1302 S.First that today is the site of an El Mercado restaurant. But the article is mostly about showing us how bad the effects were from the crash at the end of the Golden Era. It was very hard for the early arcades to survive with increasing competition from home game consoles and personal computers, and the proliferation of the games into stores and restaurants.
Forgotten Arcades #5 #6 & #7
Computer Madness - 2414 S. Lamar Blvd.
Electronic Encounters - 1701 W Ben White Blvd (Southwood Mall)
The Outer Limits Amusements Center - 1409 W. Oltorf
March 4, 1982

'Quartermania' stalks South Austin
School officials, parents worried about effects of video games
A fear Is haunting the video game business. "We call it 'quartermania.' That's fear of running out of quarters," said Steve Stackable, co-owner of Computer Madness, a video game and foosball arcade at 2414 S. Lamar Blvd. The "quartermania" fear extends to South Austin households and schools, as well. There it's a fear of students running out of lunch money and classes to play the games. Local school officials and Austin police are monitoring the craze. They're concerned that computer hotspots could become undesirable "hangouts" for students, or that truancy could increase because students (high-school age and younger) will skip school to defend their galaxies against The Tempest.
So far police fears have not been substantiated. Department spokesmen say that although more than half the burglaries in the city are committed by juveniles during the daytime, they know of no connection between the break-ins and kids trying to feed their video habit But school and parental worries about misspent time and money continue. The public outcry in September 1980 against proposals to put electronic game arcades near two South Austin schools helped persuade city officials to reject the applications. One proposed location was near Barton Hills Elementary School. The other was South Ridge Plaza at William Cannon Drive and South First Street across from Bedlchek Junior High School.
Bedichek principal B.G. Henry said he spoke against the arcade because "of the potential attraction it had for our kids. I personally feel kids are so drawn to these things, that It might encourage them to leave the school building and play hookey. Those things have so much compulsion, kids are drawn to them like a magnet Kids can get addicted to them and throw away money, maybe their lunch money. I'm not against the video games. They may be beneficial with eye-hand coordination or even with mathematics, but when you mix the video games during school hours and near school buildings, you might be asking for problems you don't need."
A contingent from nearby Pleasant Hill Elementary School joined Bedichek in the fight back in 1980, although principal Kay Beyer said she received her first formal call about the games last Week from a mother complaining that her child was spending lunch money on them. Beyer added that no truancy problems have been related to video game-playing at a nearby 7-11 store. Allen Poehl, amusement game coordinator for Austin's 7-11 stores, said company policy rules out any game-playing by school-age youth during school hours. Fulmore Junior High principal Bill Armentrout said he is working closely with operators of a nearby 7-1 1 store to make sure their policy is enforced.
The convenience store itself, and not necessarily the video games, is a drawing card for older students and drop-outs, Armentrout said. Porter Junior High principal Marjorie Ball said that while video games aren't a big cause of truancy, "the money (spent on the games) is a big factor." Ball said she has made arrangements with nearby businesses to call the school it students are playing the games during school hours. "My concern is that kids are basically unsupervised, especially at the 24-hour grocery stores. That's a late hour for kids to be out. I would like to see them (games) unplugged at 10 p.m.," adds Joslin Elementary principal Wayne Rider.
Several proprietors of video game hot-spots say they sympathize with the concerns of parents and school officials. No one under 18 is admitted without a parent to Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre at 4211 S. Lamar. That rule, says night manager David Dunagan, "keeps it from being a high school hangout. This is a family place." Jerry Zollar, owner of J.J. Subs in West Wood Shopping Center on Bee Cave Road, rewards the A's on the report cards of Eanes school district students with free video games. "It's kind of a community thing we do in a different way. I've heard from both teachers and parents . . . they thought this was a good idea," said Zollar.
Electronic Encounters in Southwood Mall last year was renovated into a brightly lit arcade. "We're trying to get away from the dark, barroom-type place. We want this to be a place for family entertainment We won't let kids stay here during school hours without a written note from their parents, and we're pretty strict about that," said manager Kelly Roberts. Joyce Houston, who manages The Outer Limits amusements center at 1409 W. Oltorf St. along with her husband, said, "I wouldn't let my children go into some of the arcades I've visited. I'm a concerned parent, too. We wanted a place where the whole family could come and enjoy themselves."

Well you can see which way the tone of all these articles is going. There were some crimes committed at some arcades but all of them tended to have a negative reputation for various reasons. Parents and teachers were very skeptical of the arcades being in the neighborhoods to the point of petitioning the City Government to restrict them. Three arcades are mentioned besides Chuck-E-Cheese. Electronic Encounters in Southwood Mall, The Outer Limits amusements center at 1409 W. Oltorf, and Computer Madness, a "video game and foosball arcade" at 2414 S. Lamar Blvd.
Forgotten Arcade #8
Smitty's Galaxy of Games - Lake Creek Parkway
February 25, 1982

Arcades fighting negative image
Video games have swept across America, and Williamson and Travis counties have not been immune. In a two-part series, Neighbor examines the effects the coin-operated machines have had on suburban and small-town life.
Cities have outlawed them, religious leaders have denounced them and distraught mothers have lost countless children to their voracious appetites. And still they march on, stronger and more numerous than before. A new disease? Maybe. A wave of invading aliens from outer space? On occasion. A new type of addiction? Certainly. The culprit? Video games. Although the electronic game explosion has been mushrooming throughout the nation's urban areas for the past few years, its rippling effects have just recently been felt in the suburban fringes of North Austin and Williamson County.
In the past year, at least seven arcades armed with dozens of neon quarter-snatchers have sprung up to lure teens with thundering noises and thousands of flashing seek-and-destroy commands. Critics say arcades are dens of iniquity where children fall prey to the evils of gambling. But arcade owners say something entirely different. "Everybody fights them (arcades), they think they are a haven for drug addicts. It's just not true," said Larry Grant of Austin, who opened Eagle's Nest Fun and Games on North Austin Avenue in Georgetown last September. "These kids are great" Grant said the gameroom "gives teenagers a place to come. Some only play the games and some only talk.
In Georgetown, if you're from the high school, this is it." He said he's had very few disturbances, and asks "undesirables" to leave. "We've had a couple of rowdies. That's why I don't have any pool tables they tend to attract that type of crowd," Grant said.
Providing a place for teens to congregate was also the reason behind Ron and Carol Smith's decision to open Smitty's Galaxy of Games on Lake Creek Parkway at the entrance to Anderson Mill. "We have three teenage sons, and as soon as the oldest could drive, it became immediately apparent that there was no place to go around here," said Ron, an IBM employee who lives in Spicewood at Balcones. "This prompted us to want to open something." The business, which opened in August, has been a huge success with both parents and youngsters. "Hundreds of parents have come to check out our establishment before allowing their children to come, and what they see is a clean, safe environment managed by adults and parents," Ron said. "We've developed an outstanding rapport with the community." Video arcades "have a reputation that we have to fight," said Carol.
Kathy McCoy of Georgetown, who last October opened Krazy Korner on Willis Street in Leander, agrees. "We've got a real good group of kids," she said. "There's no violence, no nothing. Parents can always find their kids at Krazy Korner."
While all the arcade owners contacted reported that business is healthy, if not necessarily lucrative, it's not as easy for video entrepreneurs to turn a profit as one might imagine. A sizeable investment is required. Ron Smith paid between $2,800 and $5,000 for each of the 30 electronic diversions at his gameroom.
Grant said his average video game grosses about $50 a week, and his "absolute worst" game, Armor Attack, only $20 a week. The top machines (Defender and Pac-Man) can suck in an easy $125 a week. That's a lot of quarters, 500 to be exact but the Eagle's Nest and Krazy Korner pass half of them on to Neelley Vending Company of Austin which rents them their machines. "At 25 cents a shot, it takes an awful lot of people to pay the bills," said Tom Hatfield, district manager for Neelley.
He added that an owner's personality and the arcade's location can make or break the venture. The game parlor must be run "by an understanding person, someone with patience," Hatfield said. "They cannot be too demanding on the kids, yet they can't let them run all over them." And they must be located in a spot "with lots of foot traffic," such as a shopping center or near a good restaurant, he said. "And being close to a school really helps." "Video games are going to be here permanently, but we're going to see some operations not going because of the competition," which includes machines in virtually every convenience store and supermarket, Hatfield said.

This article talks about three arcades. One in Georgetown called Eagles Nest, another in Leander called Krazy Korner, and a third called Smitty's Galaxy of Games on Lake Creek Parkway "on the fringes of North Austin". This is the one I remember the older kids talking about when I was a little kid. There was once a movie theater across the street from the Westwood High School football stadium and behind that was Smitty's. Today I think the building was bulldozed long ago and the space is part of the expanded onramp to 183 today. Eventually another unrelated arcade was built next to the theater that became Alamo Lakeline. It was another site of some unrecorded epic Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat tournaments in the 90s.
But the article written before the end of the Golden Era tell us much about the pushback I was talking about earlier. Early arcades were seen as "dirty" places in some circles, and the owners of the arcades in Williamson County had to stress how "clean" their establishments were. This other article from a couple of weeks later tells of how area school officials weren't worried about video games and tells us more arcades in Round Rock and Cedar Park. Apparently the end of the golden age lasted a bit longer than usual in this area.
At some point in the next few years the bubble burst, and places like Smitty's were gone by the late 80s. But the distributors quoted earlier were right that arcade games weren't going completely away. In the mid 1980s LeFun opened up next in the Scientology building at 2200 Guadalupe on the drag. Down a few doors past what used be a coffee shop and a CVS was Einsteins Arcade. Both of those survived into the 21st century. I remember the last time I was at Einsteins I got my ass beat in Tekken by a kid half my age. heheh
That's all for today. There were no Bonus Pics in the UT archive of arcades (other than the classical architectural definition). I wanted to pass on some Bonus newspaper articles (remember to click and zoom in with the buttons on the right to read) about Austin arcades anyway but first a small story.
I mentioned earlier the secret of the UT Student Union. I have no idea what it looks like now but in the 90s there was a sizable arcade in with the bowling alley in the basement. Back in 1994 when I used to sneak in, they featured this bizarre early attempt at virtual reality games. I found an old Michael Barnes Statesman article about it dated February 11, 1994. Some highlights:

Hundreds of students and curiosity-seekers lined up at the University of Texas Union to play three to five minutes of Dactyl Nightmare, Flying Aces or V-Tol, three-dimensional games from Kramer Entertainment. Nasty weather delayed the unloading of four huge trunks containing the machines, which resemble low pulpits. Still, players waited intently for a chance to shoot down a fighter jet, operate a tilt-wing Harrier or tangle with a pterodactyl. Today, tickets will go on sale in the Texas Union lobby at 11:30 a.m. for playing slots between noon and 6 p.m.
Players, fitted with full helmets, throttles and power packs, stood on shiny gray and yellow platforms surrounded by a circular guard rail. Seen behind the helmet's goggles were computer simulated landscapes, not unlike the most sophisticated video games, with controls and enemies viewed in deep space. "You're on a platform waiting to fight a human figure," said Jeff Vaughn, 19, of Dactyl Nightmare. "A pterodactyl swoops down and tries to pick you up. You have to fight it off. You are in the space and can see your own body and all around you. But if you try to walk, you have to use that joy stick to get around."
"I let the pterodactyl carry me away so I could look down and scan the board," said Tom Bowen of the same game. "That was the way I found out where the other player was." "Yeah, it's cool just to stand there and not do anything," Vaughn said. The mostly young, mostly male crowd included the usual gaming fanatics, looking haggard and tense behind glasses and beards. A smattering of women and children also pressed forward in a line that snaked past the lobby and into the Union's retail shops.
"I don't know why more women don't play. Maybe because the games are so violent," said Jennifer Webb, 24, a psychology major whose poor eyesight kept her from becoming a fighter pilot in real life. "If the Air Force won't take me, virtual reality will." "They use stereo optics moving at something like 60 frames a second," said computer science major Alex Aquila, 19. "The images are still pretty blocky. But once you play it, you'll want to play it again and again." With such demand for virtual reality, some gamesters wondered why an Austin video arcade has not invested in at least one machine.

The gameplay looked like this.
Bonus Article #1 - "Video fans play for own reasons" (Malibu Grand Prix) - March 11, 1982
Bonus Article #2 - "Pac-Man Cartridge Piques Interest" - April 13, 1982
Bonus Article #3 - "Video Games Fail Consumer" - January 29, 1984
Bonus Article #4 - "Nintendoholics/Modems Unite" - January 25, 1989
Bonus Article #5 and pt 2 "Two girls missing for a night found at arcade" (truly dedicated young gamers) - August 7, 2003

First, my annual income has ranged quite wildly from $100-180k for over a decade but I also live in an expensive metropolitan area where 1,500 sq ft of a condo or modest single-family home sells for $1.5m. I went to a financial advisor for the first time a few months back and they called me earnestly, "solidly middle class." So, $750k is significant.
I bought about $50k over various buys in 2013-2014. At the time, I’d say that was about 15% of my net worth (all of which I earned, I am no trust fund baby).
I have never once sold any bitcoin. All purchases go right into cold storage. I watched all the big dips. 30-50% drops in violently fast intervals. Long recoveries. Never touched it.
I’m no hero HODLer. In fact, I hate that term. It’s childish, and not in an oh-so-cool-for-the-Internet way. People with any kind of positive net worth have portfolios. You don’t HODL. You have assets in various instruments. Some on paper, some as property. You’re “HODLing” all of them. You’re sometimes reallocating, but largely you choose a mix and leave it alone. To say you HODL just tells me you’ve never had anything other than a cash savings account and probably a mountain of debt.
So why do I hold bitcoin and not sell it? For many reasons already espoused endlessly on this forum, but here’s a simple take I don’t see often: If one bitcoin is worth $1, it’s basically worth over $1 million. It’s either valueless or should be priced at whatever would account for the entire world’s business conducted in direct btc transactions with no fiat ramps. There is no in between. Because bitcoin either works or it doesn’t, and the objective fact is: it works. It has worked since 2009 when the open source software was released to the world.
Ask an average Joe anywhere in the world: “Is bitcoin proven, working software or just a prototype?” and I bet 9/10 say the latter. The mainstream narrative of bitcoin is so laden with bullshit, most people simply do not know that bitcoin just works and has worked since the beginning.
Its promise is to allow two entities to transfer value without any middleman, and that the value cannot be counterfeit. This has not changed. If you transferred coins to an address generated in 2009, they sit at that address today still. Any free wallet software today will let you access it. The original client and its variations have been iterated, but bitcoin is still just a ledger, shared by thousands of volunteered machines online. And the deflationary economic philosophy -- a limited supply of coins -- chosen by its original creator, is the same and will always be.
For all the endless talk of how the protocol, the thousands of pointless crypto copies, and decentralization is a platform that can change every industry… it all doesn’t matter. Maybe the other applications will happen meaningfully, maybe they won’t. But the first software devised which runs the largest network, and a permanent, immutable economic policy that is the polar opposite of MMT and the state-run money of every country around the world, **has already happened**.
Bitcoin’s price moves so much because most people are simply idiots. The “speculative asset” narrative is self-fulfilling. There’s nothing to speculate. Bitcoin works. Will it be adopted, won’t it be? It IS adopted. When one person agreed to hand over a product or service for some amount of coin, it was adopted.
The single biggest thing that slowed its *widespread* adoption was government making a coffee purchase a taxable event (i.e. defining bitcoin as property). If we weren’t concerned about bureaucratic friction, we’d just spend what we must and save the rest. Like money is supposed to work. Instead, we hoard. And the dumb players crash in and crash out, creating and riding their own mania, but never really understanding anything.
Screw every person — with ill will or just ignorance — that says it has no inherent value. It is technology with measurable demand. It is finite, it is impossible to counterfeit, it is instantly and safely transferrable between any two parties without a middleman, and cannot be confiscated. It also cannot be uninvented. Owning it is knowledge of characters in your head and that can never be regulated away.
Again: If bitcoin is not valued at zero, then its total value should amount to the entire stored work product of the human race. Because there’s no safer place to store that value. If you think that value stored in something like fiat, which can be printed infinitely, is safer, then you’re with 98% of the rest of the world right now and you’ll continue to resent every leap in value bitcoin makes. I’ll see you at the next peak, where many more gamblers will have come and gone, but a few more who understand that fiat is garbage will be here to stay.
UPDATE: Appreciate the comments, and I guess it was ultimately a post that would be polarizing. I will say I didn't post it to flex -- I explained my financial overview so you'd understand where I'm coming from and not just be another doomsayer or to-the-mooner with no context. I put moderate risk for me in relatively early, I've benefited on paper. I've neither sold at the wrong time or the right time. I just researched the tech 8 years ago, and have seen nothing over that time to suggest anything was wrong with the first conclusion that this a game-changer and store of value worth holding for the long haul. Is it a non-flex to note I drive a 10-year old POS?
The thing is, you can't win. If you say you have no bitcoin, then you clearly don't believe in it. If you do have it, then apparently you just want others to fund the ponzi scheme. Something that benefits from a network effect does not mean those already participating can only have ulterior motives.

RoyalRoad
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A Zakabaran walks into an Earth department store and buys makeup. The cashier asks, will that be cash or card? The bird face replies, ah, just put it on my bill.
Galactic Credit HQ
"The whole hecking planet?!" Sarah asked incredulously, "we're supposed to sanction their whole planet?"
Cathy nodded at her sympathetically over the Internet and said, "that's just for us to buy time until we figure out why the Zakabarans are conducting a massive military buildup."
The news had hit the people of Earth hard. Cutting them off from money was the weakest of all the possible responses thrown around. The idea of aliens invading Earth that had gone away when humans found out about the state of the galaxy were now returning. Some pundits were calling for a preemptive strike.
"Is this even technically possible?" Sarah turned towards her team.
"Sort of, we already have FTL triangulation worked out to a pretty good accuracy that we can essentially geo-fence them off," Jen replied, "but there's nothing stopping them from relaying their transactions with FTL to other systems. At that point, we'll be playing whack-a-mole."
Cathy nodded and said, "that's a good start. We just want to make it inconvenient for them for a while, force them to come to the negotiating table…"
Gophor, Gakrek
Enrico woke up with an ear-splitting headache. His eyelids felt like they were welded shut. He'd had too much champagne at the franchise deal celebration last night. Chicago had finally signed the franchising agreement. He barely remembered being helped into his straw mattress by Rey.
"Rise and shine!" she said cheerfully, holding up a cup of freshly brewed coffee. One of the first things she had the space trucker FedEx over to Gakrek was a load of coffee beans. Without electricity and electric-powered coffee machines, it was a lot more complicated to make the drink, but it was ultimately just beans in hot water, and she had the beans.
"How are you always up so early?" Enrico asked sleepily.
"I think my body rhythm will just never adjust to these longer day cycles," Rey said, referring to the slightly longer days and nights on Gakrek, "but we've got so much to do before we can open our business, gah! C'mon let's go!"
She then bent down and planted a chaste kiss on his exposed neck.
That woke him up in a hurry. Rey was his boss, and some part of this constant flirting felt deeply, deeply wrong even though they'd done nothing. Yet. But to Enrico, she was also the first human woman he'd had physical contact with in over a year. It didn't help that they were probably the only two human beings in at least a few hundred miles.
"Ugh, fine. Let me get dressed."
Grood was in the dining room, cooking on the new mini stove they got her. Wet rice, again. Do these Gaks never tire of it? Rey thought.
"Grood, do you need something from the spaceport market later?"
"No," Grood replied without taking her eyes off the stove, which was handling just fine by itself, "we have plenty of food in the stasis box."
From what Rey saw, Grood always seemed busy with housework and could never make time for her needs.
"Alright," Rey said, "one of these days we'll find you something you want, other than more food to cook for us."
McDonald's, Gophor Location
At the unopened store, Rey and Enrico split off to try to cover the maximum ground possible. Today's objective was to work with the locals to get her restaurant off the ground.
For the last month, human contractors from Earth had been space lifted in to install most of the kitchen equipment and interior decor they needed. This was by far the most considerable expense so far in the project, exceeding even the cost of its construction and surrounding infrastructure, but they couldn't avoid it.
Now, Rey had a kitchen but nobody to run it. Sure, she could just hire some adventurous folks from home who want to see the galaxy, but that would be inconvenient. Besides, hiring locals would be good for the Gak economy, and the more buy-in she got from them, the easier it would be to do business here in the future. It would surely look bad if she only ever hired humans in her store, and it wouldn't look bad just here on Gakrek but also Earth if people back home found out about it…
Which was why Enrico was out hitting up his contacts, and she was sitting at a temporarily setup fold out table outside, under a big sign that said, "SEEKING NEW EMPLOYEES, PAY 1 CR AN HOUR" in Gak, and handing out fliers and employment application forms to curious Gak merchants passing by.
From the perspective of a resident of this poor planet, this was an incredibly generous offer. Heck, even in some parts of developing countries like China, this would be an improvement over the average fast food workers' hourly wage minus benefits. Though skeptical, there was now a growing line of Gaks who were interested to see what the catch was.
Some of them were illiterate, but Earth's relief volunteers did a lot of teaching in their downtime the last few years, so she only had to help a few of them fill out the forms.
"Because every day is twenty eight hours," Rey explained the free meal policy to one applicant who was very, very interested in the concept, "we've divided up every day into seven shifts of four hours each. Every shift you work, you can get one free meal on our menu." She pointed at the colorful menu, and added, "except for the café items."
Because of the low cost of labor and high cost of transport for imported food items, Rey realized that unlike Earth where some employees don't even take full advantage of the free meals, the cost of feeding her employees here on Gakrek would probably far exceed their wages. She cursed herself quietly for not prominently featuring that on the banner, then took a sharpie and asked the applicant to add "FREE MEALS" in Gak to the banner for her.
Rey noticed that she was now getting significantly more applicants.
Enrico was in the food tent, with a slightly different mission from Rey. Instead of labor, his job was addressing the much higher cost of doing business on Gakrek: food imports. Though the newly constructed orbital outpost was beginning to drastically lower those costs, they were still much higher than they would be on Earth. His goal is to lower the cost of imports by seeing whether he could buy some of it here on Gakrek.
Naturally, he immediately walked over to Ghili's booth to find to his surprise that she was not there. Instead, there was a slightly older female Gak, standing in her place. He racked his brain to try to figure out who this was, but he was bad with faces to begin with, not to mention Gak faces.
"Buy some bread, Enrico?" she asked boldly as she noticed Enrico's stare.
"Hey, sorry I'm just awful with faces. Where's Ghili?" he asked, "normally she would set up here."
"I'm Garns," she giggled, then nodding, "Ghili's older step-sister. Dad found out that she is so good at numbers that he makes her stay at home to do all of his numbers for us now."
"Ah," Enrico nodded, Ghili was indeed excellent at math, "that makes sense! Nice to meet you again, Garns, do you bake the bread too?"
"Sure! Ghili and I learned how to bake bread together!" Garns said proudly, "it was from a human book that one of my brothers sent back from Earth, and recently, we got shipments of garlic which makes it taste wonderful. Would you like to try some?"
Enrico smiled, "I think I'm good for now, but Rey and I are considering buying a lot of bread from your family in the future. How much do you think you can bake if you just made bread all day?"
"If I made bread all day?"
There is a field of study in economics called development economics. It came into vogue in the middle of the 20th century, when industrialized nations started looking at investments into the underdeveloped world, and they produced several important theories that are still studied today.
One of these ideas is the strategy of unbalanced growth. It proposes that certain sectors of a developing economy should be focused on, rather than letting investments spread equally, to produce an imbalance in economic growth. This imbalance would allow the country to develop faster. The layman's analogy looks like this:
Two hikers come across a high wall on their path. They could both choose to climb it at the same time, which would be very hard because the wall is taller than both of them. The obviously better option would be one hiker crouching down and giving the other a boost to the top of the wall. Then, the hiker on top of the wall would lean over, hold out their hand, and pull up the person at the bottom.
The hikers represent sectors of the economy. The idea is to boost one sector of the economy efficiently due to scale, and have them pull the whole economy along.
To stretch the analogy, a critical part of this process is that the hiker on top of the wall has to actually lean down and pull the one on the bottom up instead of just going on their merry way, and this is not always a given.
If this happens, the economy stagnates, like it did in certain Latin American countries in the post-war era. If they can avoid this pitfall, the economy thrives, like it did in certain East Asian countries during the 1970s. In the economist world, it became a contentious debate as to which sectors should be the ones boosted up onto the top of the wall first and which sectors are more likely to pull other ones along.
The strategy of unbalanced growth rests on the concept of linkage, forward and backward linkage. Linkage is the idea that interdependence between different parts of the economy will encourage growth when outside investment stimulates any part of it.
When Gakrek's craftsbeings started increasing their productivity with imported Earth machines, they started producing more farming equipment. Because of cheaper steel plows and other machinery, farmers increased their food output. This is forward linkage.
And as the craftsbeings began increasing their productivity, they needed more raw materials from miners to feed their new machines. Because of that, the mining industry grew as well. This is backward linkage.
In the 1980s and 90s, McDonald's expanded internationally into many developing countries, and they created these kinds of backward linkages in their supply chain because they needed locally produced food, which helped industrialize those economies. This was inevitable because internationally, they were not a very vertically integrated company, and they didn't try to be.
Vertical integration is a buzzword that many business managers use as a synonym for success, but what it really means is that a business owns their supply chain. McDonald's does not do this; they do not own their food suppliers. Some analysts would call it a "vertically aligned" business, but that new buzzword is even more broad and ill-defined that it could be used to describe all successful businesses.
The bottom line is: McDonald's keeps open-book contracts with their suppliers. They succeed if their supply chain does, and vice versa. This allows them to set the exact profits each of their suppliers get, and in return, they don't need to shop around for the lowest cost suppliers that could meet quality standards. When they raise standards, McDonald's ensures compliance by investing in these suppliers to make sure they produce higher quality goods.
In some ways, it seems like an ancient way of doing business that relies on trust and handshake deals, but there is no doubt their supply chain is one of their business strengths. This has positive knock-on effects for the local economies of their supply chain.
When McDonald's went to Mexico in the late 1980s, one of their buyers stopped at a local bakery company, Bimbo, to sample their bread. After one mere bite, he rejected its taste out of hand. Sensing a massive opportunity slipping through their fingers, Bimbo spent millions of dollars to develop a better bun and get McDonald's business back.
Now, Grupo Bimbo is its exclusive supplier for hamburger buns in all of Mexico and some parts of Latin America. The business that started with less than a thousand employees is now the largest bakery brand in the world, employing hundreds of thousands of humans in its hundreds of locations all around Earth.
Similarly, when McDonald's went to Russia after the fall of the Soviet Union in 1990, they started with one single store. A company representative stopped by a lettuce collective farm outside Moscow to see if they could sell them a few boxes of lettuce a week, which was almost an unreasonably low volume for a farm.
One of their growers, an astute farmer named Viktor Semenov who had heard of its large operations in the West, said yes and sold them all the lettuce they wanted. Less than ten years later, Mr. Semenov became the Minister of Agriculture for all of Russia; the company he owned has a monopoly on packaged vegetables for the entire country.
Such is the power of backward linkage and the wealth it can create in rapidly developing economies.
McDonald's, Gophor Location
"We'll post the names on the walls. Just come back here from tomorrow to next week," Rey responded to a question about how they would get the answer for their application. This was yet another problem that needed to be solved when almost none of the Gaks had phones and some took a long time to walk to the spaceport. "The training will start after next week for the employed."
Then she saw Enrico heading back towards the restaurant and asked, "back so soon?"
"Ah, I have a lead on where we might be able to replace our buns' supply chain, but it'll require a trip we can take another time," he replied.
"Buns are a great start," she encouraged. It was true, though. Because bulk intergalactic trucking was now mostly done with Earth made spaceships that had efficient reactors, the biggest bottleneck to shipping was not mass but rather volume. Buns took up plenty of space even if they weighed very little. "Where did you find some?"
"We can get Gordorker to supply us," Enrico replied, "but from what his daughter described, it's gonna take a bit of investment for us to scale up."
"Alright, I'll let Chicago know," Rey said, "they did say they'll pay for these kinds of upgrades, for other franchises that are looking to move into other spaceports on Gakrek."
"In the meantime, I found you a prospective employee. The bagged soda merchant in the food tent. His name is Goripli. He already knows how to load and clean the machine, so that'll save some time on training, and he can probably train some of the others. I figure he already knows how to work with human machines so the other stuff in the kitchen wouldn't be too hard for him to grasp," he suggested.
"Sounds good. Did you already ask him?" she inquired.
"Yeah. He's agreed to it already if a position is open for him. We might need to teach him the secret to why our soda tastes better than his though."
After dinner, which was a salted potato, more wet rice, and a bowl of carrot soup, Rey and Enrico gave their compliments to Grood and retreated to their guest room.
As Rey tucked herself into the sleeping bag, she turned off her translator, turned to Enrico who was getting ready for bed on the straw mattress next to her, and asked, "what do you think Grood does at home all day?"
"She mostly cleans and cooks," he replied following her lead, "I think Grood has a small stash of human magazines that she reads from time to time, but she mostly takes care of the house and prepares food and water for us."
"That's it?" Rey asked a little incredulously, "she just does that all day?"
"Yeah," he turned on his side on the mattress to face her, "this is what humans used to do too. Before washing machines, driers, electric stove tops, and vacuum cleaners. Not a lot of free time for the people doing household chores. Why do you think the original feminist movements started around the times they did?"
"Ah I knew that," she said, "but it's still a little hard to grasp that she would spend all day at home just doing the same four or five things every day. Poor Grood. Maybe we should get her some of those appliances… if only there were electricity."
"Yeah that's the thing I keep running into, too. And it's not just Grood, lots of Gaks are like that," Enrico said, "I could ask some of my trader friends from other planets what-"
Suddenly, they heard a high pitch Gak giggle and Grood calling out to them at the door. They hastily turned on their translators, "-hahaha I can hear you guys saying my name in there, what are you guys talking about?"
"Just gossiping about your… very pretty eyes Grood," Rey teased, "good night!"
McDonald's, Gophor Location
Rey ended up deciding on fifteen Gaks per shift, which translated to a little over forty total. It was a big restaurant, and labor was affordable, to put it lightly.
She posted the names of the ones who she hired and their respective shifts on the walls of the restaurant. A crowd gathered around to see, as if to see whether they've won the lottery. After all, despite what seemed to the first world humans like starvation wages, it was significantly higher than what any of the locals earned. And it was steady work and meals. Seeing the names, some walked away excited; others were disappointed. She couldn't hire all of them.
Then, as Rey was about to head to lunch, a tall, skinny Gak wearing a baseball cap walked into the restaurant with Grob trailing behind him.
"Hey, Grob. Who's your friend today?" she asked.
Grob introduced him, "this is Garber. His family is in charge of the operation of the spaceport."
Mildly concerned, she turned to Garber and nodded, saying, "hello Garber, nice to meet you! I'm Rey. How are you doing?" The gears in her brain started to turn, wondering why he was here as she glanced worriedly at Enrico. From his expression, they were both thinking the same thing.
"Hi Rey," he said, "I've noticed you put up a big brick building on our spaceport. I wanted to talk to you about that."
Ah, here it is. Here comes the shakedown. This Gak hadn't objected or even showed his face when they were building the restaurant, she thought, but he's finally figured out its value, and now he's coming to extract his portion of the pie.
Garber continued exactly as expected, "because my family is fed and now paid by the central Gak government, we ask for only small donations from the merchants whose businesses operate on our spaceport to keep it running and fix all the problems that can appear. Of course, this is all a donation, but we really want to make sure things go very smoothly for your new business."
"I understand, how much money is this donation typically?" Rey asked, thinking fast.
Her franchise was already paying rent to Chicago, which was paying rent to Grob, who transferred the money straight back to her. McDonald's headquarters charged them a cool 30,000 credits a month above what they were paying Grob for rent, so that was essentially what she was paying in rent now since she had no revenue.
In the grand scheme of things, it was peanuts, barely an inconvenience. Even some stores in developing countries would salivate at this rental price point for a lot this big. She expected the revenue share to be much more costly in terms of her ongoing cost. But she only got it this cheap because she essentially squatted on the spaceport for free and built a structure there with her own money.
If this Garber guy comes in and decides to take his cut, then she might need to redo some of her business plan calculations-
"Good, good, I like dealing with people who know what they're doing," Garber looked around and contemplated, "This is a nice store, and it's in a prime location. The best on the entire spaceport, no doubt. It sits right in between the food tents and luxury good vendors. You will get many customers."
Plus, you're gullible humans, and it should not be that hard to squeeze money out of you, he thought silently in his head. After a bit more calculation and factoring in the fact that some human volunteers did save his life a while back, Garber decided to high ball a figure to start the negotiation, "I think fifty-five credits a month is a reasonable donation, wouldn't you agree?"
Rey almost burst out laughing in relief, but her professionalism forced her to keep her face neutral to avoid angering him or changing his mind.
On her right, Enrico was already pulling his card out of his pocket.
Enrico saw N'har, the trader, while grabbing a couple of peaches for lunch at the food tent. He was still making trips down to Gakrek well despite the orbital outposts; in many cases where the goods aren't transported in bulk, the profits were still well worth the reactor fuel prices of traversing the gravity well, especially for the general purpose ships that most aliens were still using.
"Hey N'har, how are your routes going?"
"Hi Enrico, business is good and 'demand' is high," N'har beamed as he savored the new human word he learned from a trader, "I'm so glad I got into the Earth goods trade early because everyone wants them now. Have I told you the story about how I was one of the first aliens ever to take Galactic Credits?"
"Yes, N'har, many times," Enrico smiled, "what are you carrying now?"
"Mostly human appliances now," N'har replied, then rattled off a list of goods he was carrying in his hold, "stasis boxes, coolers, freezers, stoves, ovens, microwaves, washing machines…"
"I actually have a question about that," Enrico said, slightly puzzled, "how are the aliens on the other planets using those? They couldn't have gotten electricity infrastructure to everyone that quickly, right?"
"Ah, right and wrong," N'har said smugly, "they don't have the electricity lines like you do on Earth. That seems like a lot of time and work to set up, especially if they have to dig underground like you guys do. What many of the other planets do is they set up a generator at the spaceport hooked up to the reactor fuel depot, and then they plug their Bhak batteries in-"
"Bhak batteries?" Enrico asked. He'd never heard of those yet, even though he'd had to set up the solar panels on the roof and some batteries to go with them.
"Yeah, the new standardized high-density batteries that are coming out of Earth. They adapted some technology from a machine they imported from Bhak a while back," N'har replied amused, "and everyone thinks it's funny that the humans name the things they make… Bohor air filters, Bhak batteries, and Ribb engines, but the rest of the galaxy just calls them Earth air filters, Earth batteries, and Earth engines."
"Ah ok, so these batteries hold enough juice to power household appliances?" Enrico asked, ignoring his commentary on xeno linguistics upon seeing the possibilities light up in his head.
"Sure! They can power anything and everything I sell. You just need to charge them at the spaceport once every few days."
"How much are they?"
N'har thought for a while, put on his businessbeing's hat, and then replied to him, "because you're such a good friend, I can get you a generator and charger for 2,200 credits, and 150 credits for each battery. I will throw in an outlet adapter for every battery you buy, free of charge."
Enrico thought about it, but not for that long. They could use the generator chargers and hook them up at the reactor fuel pump. It'll be useful for the restaurant if it ever ran out of battery power for the solar panels when the sun is not up.
Besides, this was also an opportunity to get Grob and Grood some household appliances to thank them for occupying their house.
"Deal. I'll take the generator and ten batteries. And I want one of those rice cookers I know you have in your cargo."
He was getting really tired of wet rice for breakfast and dinner.
Galactic Union HQ
"Secretary General Wilson, the bird face is on the line," Amanda's secretary said outside her office.
"Put her through."
The face of an oversized parrot appeared on the projector. It was Popptaw, her counterpart from Zakabara, and also the leader of their planetary government: some species just didn't delegate responsibilities very well. They exchanged greetings, and she got down to business immediately.
"Amanda, you know that your money ban is hurting our people and our industries. We need imports from other planets to feed our factories. This goes against your own principles of free trade and galactic exchange of goods and wealth! "
"Popptaw, our people see you and your war economy as an increasing threat. Please. We've made our ask very clear. You just need to publish honest reports about the state of your weapons manufacturing industries, and we'll lift our sanctions."
Popptaw shifted uncomfortably in her perch, then said, "and if we give you reports about the state of our weapons industry, you will promise to restore our access to Galactic Credits?"
"They need to be detailed reports about numbers, deployments, and our people will need to see that you are serious about transparency," Amanda said, hedging, "we know from our history that the galaxy will not survive an industrialized interplanetary or even galactic war. Nobody wants that."
"And if we publish this information, we will put ourselves at the mercy of Earth and other planets," Popptaw countered, "we will need assurances that there will be no invasion of our planets or subjugation of our species."
"We're not looking to invade!" Amanda said, almost exasperated. This was a common conversation with new planets joining the Galactic Union. They were always suspicious that the humans were looking to expand into their territory and suck their resources dry. Which wasn't that surprising given that's exactly what the humans thought the aliens would do if they had the chance. "The Galactic Union charter specifically prohibits wars of expansion, and we have never violated those principles."
"We need guarantees. We need Earth to promise in front of all the other species in the GU that none of its ships will ever enter the Zakabara system without our permission!"
Popptaw was throwing up many red flags here, but Amanda could not tell what they were. Maybe the Zakabarans were planning on banning Earth traders from entering the system? They were already doing that at most spaceports and humans weren't really making that much of a profit from Zakabara. Unfortunately, she didn't have much time to consider it.
The sanctions on Zakabara were hurting, but they were also making a few other planets nervous. The other species may not be fans of the bird faces, but they were not happy with the idea that Earth could just arbitrarily decide to turn off the tap of wealth that was flowing into their planetary economies.
"Alright. We'll draw up that resolution and lift sanctions if you publish your most detailed reports about your armaments industries and the deployment of your ships," she said. If there were anything off about these reports…
"Thank you, Secretary General. We take our sovereignty very seriously."
The strategy of unbalanced growth described in this chapter is the work of a German-American economist named Albert O. Hirschman. His 1958 book "The Strategy of Economic Development" contrasted with the conventional wisdom of Ragnar Nurkse's theory of balanced growth, proposing equally but often unrealistically large investments into all sectors of a growing economy all at once. His book is considered by many economists to be a foundational work of modern development economics.
Ironically, later neoclassical economists would often lump the research of Hirschman and Nurkse together, as two sides of the same coin. These economists generally favor no government investment into any particular sector, but to make improvements to the institutions of the developing nation to encourage organic market growth.
There is an interesting critique of these theories of development and other post-war development research written by Nobel laureate Paul Krugman, "The Fall and Rise of Development Economics."
Another prominent and relevant mid-20th century model not mentioned in this story is the Lewis model of dual-sector growth, which was successfully employed in Singapore and earned its inventor a Nobel Prize in Economics as well.
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Our final update of the year marks the beginning of Fallout 76 Season 3, which features the all-new “Scribe of Avalon” Scoreboard and a wide variety of new rewards for you to claim during you Season journey. In addition to the new Season, we’ve also included a number of bug fixes. Read on to catch the patch notes.

Update Version 1.5.1.3

Check the download sizes below for today’s patch on your platform of choice:

• PC (Bethesda.net): 5.0 GB
• PC (Microsoft Store): 11.9 GB
• PC (Steam): 5.7 GB
• PlayStation 4: 9.2 GB
• Xbox One: 11.6 GB

Fallout 76 Season 3 Has Begun!

• We’re kicking off Fallout 76 Season 3 with the all-new “Scribe of Avalon” Scoreboard, where you will join the intrepid time-traveling historian, K.D. Inkwell, to investigate the mysteries of a medieval civilization.
  • The new Scoreboard features 100 ranks to achieve as you and Inkwell work to find and preserve technology in Avalon over the coming months.
  • As always, we’ve added a host of new rewards that you will unlock as you rank up, including Power Armor paints, Weapon Skins, Outfits, themed cosmetics, C.A.M.P. items, in-game currencies, consumables Perk Card Packs, and more.
  • This Season, we’ve also implemented several new types of rank-up rewards that are available for the first time ever, like Lite Allies, Backpack Flairs, Perfectly Preserved Bubblegum, the Antique Speed Bag, and Perk Coins.
• We’ve made a few adjustments for Season 3 that you may want to keep in mind as you dive in:
  • For the first time, we’ve added several bonus rewards to the Scoreboard for Fallout 1st Members at certain rank milestones, which can be claimed in addition to the normal rewards those ranks offer.
  • We’ve implemented some new Challenges in the Daily and Weekly rotations, as well. These include Shelters-themed Challenges, and Challenges to take down different enemies, like Blood Eagles and Mothman Cultists.
  • Finally, last season’s Weight Bench reward is now available for purchase from Gold Bullion vendors so that players who missed it have another opportunity to grab one.
• Head to the Seasons page on Fallout.com and read our recent Season 3 Preview article to get more information about Season 3, as well as a check out the rewards that will be up for grabs.

Items

• “Core Vault” Objects: We’ve added a few new items to the set of “Core Vault” C.A.M.P. objects that are unlocked after you complete the “Home Expansion” quest, including a Foundation version of the Core Vault Floor, a new Doorway Wall, and a Vault-themed door to match.

Bug Fixes

Art & Graphics

• Power Armor: The headlamp on the Blue Demon Power Armor Helmet now shines in the correct direction in third-person view.
• Underarmor: The Brotherhood of Steel Camouflage Infantry Uniform no longer clips through equipped outfits.

C.A.M.P. and Workshops

• Ammo Converter: Flamer Fuel can now be sold using the 100x sell option, and Railroad Spikes can be purchased using the 100x buy option.
• Defenses: The Encampment Gate is now centered between its posts.
• Defenses: Encampment Fences can now be snapped to the left side of the Encampment Gate.
• Exploit: Addressed a C.A.M.P. budget exploit related to Patio Chairs.
• Spooky Sound Machine: The Spooky Sound Machine can now be placed at the same time as the Fog Machine.
• Vault Catwalk: Straight sections of Vault Catwalk can now be properly snapped to corner pieces.

Challenges

• Combat: Killing the Scorchbeast Queen now counts toward “Kill Different Kinds of Tough Enemies” Combat Challenge progress.
• Combat: Killing the Flatwoods Monster now counts toward “Kill an Alien” subchallenge progress for the “Kill different kinds of human-like creatures” Combat Challenge.
• Combat: Killing a Small Frog now counts toward “Kill Different Kinds of Critters” Combat Challenge progress.
• Combat: Killing a Hermit Crab now counts toward “Kill Different Kinds of Arthropods” Combat Challenge progress.
• Combat: Killing Mirelurks and Fog Crawlers now counts toward “Kill Different Kinds of Aquatic or Semi-Aquatic Creatures” Combat Challenge progress.
• Combat: Killing Cave Crickets now counts toward “Kill different Kinds of Insects and Bugs” Combat Challenge progress.
• Daily: Fixed an issue that prevented some Holotapes from counting toward “Listen to an Audio Holotape” Daily Challenge progress.
• World: The “Discover the Overseer’s C.A.M.P.” World Challenge now displays the correct reward icon in the Challenge menu.

Items

• Armor: Red Viper Armor Skins can now be favorited for use in Nuclear Winter.
• Headwear: Red Viper and Camouflage Skins can now be applied to the Urban Scout Mask.
• Plans: Fixed an issue that prevented the Plan for the Poodle Sleeping Bag from dropping as a reward for level 50+ players in Daily Ops.

Performance and Stability

• Client Stability: Fixed a PC client crash that could occur when fighting Scorched in the Forest.
• Client Stability: Fixed a PlayStation 4 client crash that could occur when exiting another player’s Vault Atrium Shelter.
• Client Stability: Fixed an Xbox One client crash that could occur when entering the Foundation Supply Room during the “Supplying Demands” quest.
• Performance: Fixed an issue that could cause client hitching during gameplay.

Quests and Events

• Property Rights: Sheena no longer spawns inside a wall during the “Speak to Sheena” objective.

Shelters

• Build: Floors and other objects can now be built at the spawn point inside Shelters, excluding items like Traps and Pressure Plates.
• Floor Décor: Potted Plants can now be built near Shelter ceilings more easily, and no longer sometimes place outside the playable area.
• Entrances: Fixed a case where Large Shelter Entrances could not be placed near water.
• Entrances: Objects built on top of Large Shelter Entrances no longer clip through the pre-existing metal beams.
• Programmable Objects: Light Boxes, Switches, Cycling Lights, and other objects that can be “programmed” now retain their settings between play sessions.
• Wall Décor: Fixed an issue that could cause the Eat-o-tronic to clip into the floor when built inside the Vault Lobby Shelter.
• Wallpapers: Only Wallpapers that the player owns can be placed inside of Shelters.
• Wires: Wires attached between Generators and certain powered objects, like Decontamination Showers, now persist after exiting and re-entering a Shelter.

Sound

• Collectron Stations: Added Sound effects that will play when opening or closing the container attached to Collectron Stations.

User Interface

• Atomic Shop: Fixed an issue that could prevent further menu navigation in the Atomic Shop after purchasing a Bundle.
• Help Menu: Added Shelters information to the Fallout 76 Help Menu.
• Inventory: Opening a Holiday Gift no longer causes the player’s current selection to automatically move up one row in the Aid menu.
• Scoreboard: Purchasing multiple rank-ups quickly no longer sometimes causes the rank-up button to become non-functional.

Shout out to u/Misanthropia for the original post — the hive needed more updated art!
This list is current as of episode 234 (2/10/21)
Desus goes by numerous aliases on the Bodega Boys Podcast. These aliases are based on references to pop culture, sports, and hip-hop. The long and ever-changing list of aliases or "AKAs" are one of the many running gags on the show. During an interview with Method Man on Desus and Mero, Desus explained that the idea for aliases was based on the alter-egos of the rappers in the song "Wu-Gambinos" on the album Only Built 4 Cuban Linx... by Wu-Tang Clan member Raekwon. (info via Wikipedia)
Desus & Mero no longer record from Milk Studios (moved indefinitely) and have been recording the podcast remotely from home due to the pandemic. Most of the AKA’s now mention social distancing, hot takes on covid and store closures.

Desus

Desus is extremely consistent with his aliases, almost always presenting them in the exact same order and without any exclusions:
Desus Nice — In a Hot 97 interview on April 13th 2017, Desus explains that people started calling him Desus as a play on his government name, "Daniel", and "Jesus", because he worked miracles with people's computers
Young Chipotle — Desus’ original alias, he explains in one podcast that it originates from when he was broke and buying Chipotle was a genuine treat
Pockets stay fat like Terio (Pockets stay fat like 'here we go') — A reference to viral star Terio, a young, obese African American boy whose videos of him dancing launched him to very brief viral fame. Recently, Desus added the more politically correct and kid friendly “here we go”
Eli Litby — A play on Eli Whitney, inventor of the cotton gin
Boutros Boutros Gully — A play on Boutros Boutros-Ghali, former Secretary-General of the UN, “Gully” being Jamaican Patois for an impoverished area
Slobodan Might-know-ya-bitch — A play on Slobodan Milosevic, former President of Serbia and important player in the Bosnian War
Young Day Party — I believe this was adopted in the summer of 2016 after Desus recounted the story of a day party in D.C., which seemed to invigorate his love for partying during the day
Young Hot Take — He has hot takes, pretty obvious here
Desus H. Fuego — Another moniker to describe his hot (“fuego”) takes on topics
Mr. Nandos with a rando — Nandos is a portuguese chicken restaurant chain which originated in South Africa and is big in the UK and Australia. Rando is slang for random person. Having Nandos with a rando is eating chicken with a random person (credit to u/deweez)
Mr. Mil Novecientos Noventa Y Cuatro en Nueva York — In later episodes Desus rarely adds the “en Nueva York” bit, but it translates to “Mr. 1994 in New York”. "The Knicks team in 1994 made the finals and is a legendary team amongst all Knicks fans who were around at the time. That team got to game 7 of the finals against the Rockets. NYC rallied around that team hard body because that team absolutely embodied NYC to a T with guys like Ewing, Charles Oakley, Mason, Starks, and Derek Harper." (credit to u/Okieant33)
Mikhail Goin-off — derived from former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev (credit to u/GhettoFob) converged with an allusion to losing ones temper in an act of random violence.
The Jouvert Boss — “Jouvert” is a carnival held in Caribbean/West Indian culture, involving a lot of partying
MC Likkle Gungo Pea — Gungo pea is a type of peas (also known as pigeon peas) often used in Jamaican dishes. Reference to his Jamaican heritage (credit to u/hopelessromcom)
"Pullin' up from 40 with your shorty" — Desus will “pull up”, or make a pass at, your girl even when the odds are slim or unlikely, much like a 40 foot shot in basketball
"Don’t talk to me in the Uber Pool, I don’t know you" — Uber introduced a service where you can share rides with other Uber users for a discounted rate. Desus has expressed his reluctance to engage with strangers when he is using it
The original “my plus one got a plus one so don’t make a fuss son” — When Desus shows up to an event with a girl, he brings two, and he's intimating that the host shouldn’t have a problem with that
Desus Rothstein, the Jamaican Jew — Originated around when Mero began his house search in Bergen County, NJ where a number of wealthy people of Jewish descent live. Desus envisions a version of himself who would fit in there
Jermaine Avocado Toast — Desus has gotten more cultured as a result of their success, and as such he has been able to indulge in things usually enjoyed by privileged white people, a stereotypical example of that being avocado toast. This is Desus’ gentrified, hipster persona
Young PA — Possible reference to the sound of small amount of air being expelled from a loose butthole, which is an impression Mero occasionally does (credit to u/jimsternub). This is also a reference to Brooklyn rapper Young MA.
The Ghost of Mufasa — A reference to Lion King, but beyond that I have no idea why he adopted it. Still hilarious though, and the nickname that most often makes Mero laugh
Young Charcuterie without the coonery — Charcuterie is considered very hip and trendy right now, and Desus is again saying he has a taste for the finer things, but is no longer interested in “coonery”, a derogatory term used to describe stereotypical African American behavior
Chile Limon, the left handed reliever for the Yankee’s (Que lo que?) — A fictional persona that seems to be a Latino version of Dock Ellis, who famously threw a no hitter while high on Acid. Chile Limon is also a popular seasoning/flavor with the Latino community
3 Phone Jones — Desus originally adopted "2 Phone Jones" after he reluctantly bought an iPhone to go with his Samsung Galaxy. He then received a Google Pixel, making it 3 Phone Jones (credit to u/ArtSorr0w)
Desus Ex Machina — A play on the common plot device “deus ex machina”, or “god from the machine” in which an unsolvable problem is suddenly resolved by some unexpected intervention. Desus also used to have a tumblr entitled "Desus Ex Machina" (credit to u/hardcore9)
Jay Chuckles — Revealed in episode 55 to be a reference to a now-defunct shoe store in NYC. Did Desus read this thread?
Stanley Cups — Desus' former rap alias, as revealed in episode 53.
The Human Dr. Bronner’s Label (Dilute! Dilute! Dilute!) — A reference to the concentrated soap Dr. Bronner’s Castile soap, which needs to be diluted. I didn’t quite understand how Desus applied this to himself, but it came from a joke in Episode 51 or 52 about Sean Spicer trying to defray controversy surrounding President Trump's decisions
Dionardo DiTrappio — A play on “Leonardo DiCaprio”, the actor, but referencing “trapping”, a slang for selling drugs.
Mr. 240p because I like my Pino blurry — Desus longs for the days of very low resolution pornography. 240p refers to the resolution, which is extremely low by modern standards
DJ Woolite AKA You're listening to Washed FM up next we got 24 hours of — The host of the fictional station “Washed FM”, a fictional radio station that is sometimes referenced along with “WSMK, Smack City Radio”. Woolite is a brand of fabric softener. Desus said multiple times on the podcast that now that he's single and living alone, he washes his clothes with extra fabric softener. As a kid, his clothes would get washed and be hard as nails. Again, he's got a taste for the finer things in life. (credit to u/Okieant33)
The Curried G.O.A.T. — A double reference to Desus’s Jamaican heritage, where Curried Goat is a popular culinary item, as well as referencing the phrase “G.O.A.T”, short for “greatest of all time”
Desus Spicer — A play on the former White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, who is often referenced on Desus & Mero as “spicing up” or “adding spice” to his takes
Jamal Hashburn — A play on Jamal Mashburn, a former NBA player, about Hash
The Bronx Celine Dion — Refers to the fact that Celine Dion is very popular in the Jamaican community, and so Desus is like Celine, but from the Bronx. (credit to u/chefboyardu) This is especially present with foreign and immigrant culture which means he is of mogul or iconic status for the Bronx (credit to u/courtofdacrimsonking)
Wray and Nephew's Nephew — A play on J. Wray and Nephew rum, which has its origins in Jamaica like Desus. Also, Desus drinks a lot, which you probably should have figured out by now. Introduced in episode 58
The Moreno you can't contain-o — A play on "moreno", a Spanish term for someone with dark skin
The Human Meme, Word to Ja — A play on Ja Rule's infamous mistake of believing that the word "meme" is pronounced "may-may"
Young Erewhon — A reference to a bourgeois health food store in LA, which makes this nickname in the vein of "Jermaine Avocado Toast", demonstrating Desus' taste for finer things now. (credit to u/a-1-since-day-1)
The Racist Provocateur — Desus flipped an angry tweet from April 28th 2017, in which someone called him a "racist provocateur" into a new alias
Henrik Bud-qvist — A play on NHL goalie Henrik Lundqvist, who currently plays for the New York Rangers
Nelson Bang-dela — An old alias resurrected in episode 65, a play on South African civil right's icon Nelson Mandela
Sergio Can't-see-me — A play on Sergio Tacchini, an Italian fashion designer and former Tennis player
Vladimir Boofin' — A play on Russian president Vladimir Putin, "boofin" being a reference to smuggling something by sticking it inside one's rectum
The Human Werther's, melting in your mouth — A reference to Werther's Originals, a brand of caramel hard candies favored by old people. Not really sure what this one means otherwise.
Mr. Becks on Deckington — The first time Desus introduced this one, he accidentally said "Mr. Becky's on Deckington" which was an incredible Freudian slip since Desus has been accused of not being into black women, and "Becky" is the stereotypical white woman name in pop culture. This is a reference to Desus always drinking Beck's, a cheap beer he favors along with Heineken. Adding "-ington" to words is New York slang, as Mero explains at some point.
Rikki-Tikki-Squad-bi — A play on Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, a character from the Jungle Book
Greg "Paaa"-povitch — A very meta play on San Antonio Spur's head coach Greg Popovich and the onomatopoeia of spreading butt cheeks apart (according to Mero)
Morris "Say it with your chest"-nut — A play on actor Morris Chestnut
Mahatma Gone-B — A play on famed pacifist Mahatma Gandi
Not Macka B but I got the cucumber — A reference to a viral video in which Reggae artist Macka B raps about healthy food in his "medical monday" series, Desus is unsurprisingly referencing his penis
The juices are pressed but your boy never is — Being "pressed" means someone is applying pressure to you, and no one would do that to Desus. The juices he is talking about are probably the morning drink he has with lemongrass and cayenne pepper that he makes reference to many times in recent episodes of the podcast.
I am the Art, dammit! — Not sure if this is a reference to anything specific or just a Kanye-esque line a crazed creative might yell out at some point
The Don Dada Ganoush — I believe this is a reference to the Meditteranean dish Baba Ganoush, "Don Dada" is Jamaican Patois slang (I believe) for “top pimp” or “big player” and a sort-of homophone for "baba"
No more Cup of Noodles — I don't know if this is a reference beyond the fact that Cup of Noodles is a struggle meal and Desus is no longer struggling
The Prince of Peckham — A reference to Peckham, a diverse neighborhood in London
The Fashion Nova Casanova — Fashion Nova is an online clothing retailer that specifically targets curvy women that Desus and Mero reference pejoratively (saying it's for bottle waitresses), Desus is saying here that he excels at seducing these kind of women ("Casanova" is a term of a man who excels at seducing women derived from the name of Italian Giacomo Casanova)
"William H. 5 Cent, 10 Cent, Dolla... Forget the small change, give me the the big money wine" — A reference to Soca Boys song "Dollar Wine (one cent, five cent, ten cent, dollar)" which apparently was super popular in the West Indies. "William H Holla is something Jay-Z used to call himself back in his hey day. It comes from the fact that Bill Gates' full name is William Henry Gates. Jay-Z used to give himself nicknames back in the day. J-Hova caught on but he used the term William H Holla because Jay-Z also coined the phrase "Holla At Me" and "Holla Back" and just shortened it to "Holla". So put the two together and you have William H Holla. He first said it on the song "Stick to the Script" off the Dynasty album. So Desus took it and made it his own." (credit to u/Okieant33)
The only anthem I salute is Dipset — A reference to the ongoing national anthem protests in the NFL, Desus is saying the only anthem he salutes is "Dipset Anthem" by Harlem rap legends The Diplomats
Mister Sauga, Catch me at Square One Top Left. Mans is marved. (Dont cheese me bro) — Finally a Canadian-centric reference, which makes sense given that the Bodega Boys have performed there multiple times. This is a reference to the Square One Shopping Center in Mississauga, Canada (where Desus alleges his mysterious wife and kids live), and "top left" is Greater Toronto Area slang for "truthful" or "seriously". "Mans is marved", means "I'm hungry" in Toronto slang (credit to u/Fortehlulz33)
Trill Rizzuto, holy cow! — A reference to former Yankees player Phil Rizzuto who would later go on to be a commentator, where his trademark expression was "holy cow!"
Mister Soft Palms because all I do is count checks and jerk off — I don't know if this is a reference to anything except Desus bragging about his lifestyle
"We got OJ, uh purple stuff, soda, and it's me! Sunny D!" — A reference to an old Sunny D commercial (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQE3jWYuGiw), and a play on the fact that people likely used to called Desus by the nickname "D", so "it's me! Sunny D" would be like saying "it's me, Desus!". Also kind of ironic since Desus is not a particularly sunny person (cue Dark Desus).
David Yerp-man — A play on David Yurman, an expensive jewelry company, and NYC slang exclamation "yerp"
Desus-expensive, Desus-Red Bottoms, Desus-bloody shoes — A play on a lyric from fellow Bronx native Cardi B taken from her song "Bodak Yellow"
Smo-a-kim Noah — A play on NBA player Joaquim Noah who played for the Knicks
Andrew Coooooool-nanan — A reference to serial killer (most notable for killing Gianni Versace) Andrew Cunanan
The Junior Energy God, come sit down 'pon me charger — Originally just the "Energy God" until Desus realized that that was fellow Jamaican Elephant Man's aliases. I thiiiink this is referring to the phrase "bring the same energy", the idea that if one is saying something behind someone's back, when confronted by the individual they should stick to their original statements. This alias started after the infamous Desus & Mero visit to the Breakfast Club, in which DJ Envy accosted the boys about a joke they made about his wife. Desus & Mero didn't punk out and therefore "brought the same energy". Someone tell me if I'm reaching here.
Call me PetCo cause I got your bitch-on-freeze — A play on words for the dog breed Bichon Frise
The Topic of Gossip in Syosset (Shout out to 11791 ah ah ah) — Syosset (zip code 11791) is a town in Long Island, NY. it's real bougie and suburban so Desus is saying basically he's got reach and is known not just in the hood but in the wealthy burbs too (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Grandpa Joe, When you see Charlie you see me don't touch that golden ticket — A direct reference to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Grandpa Joe) and Desus's cats name (Charlie)
Dead Eye Desus (Mornin’ Sherrif) — Dead Eye Desus refers to the 2018 video game Red Dead Redemption 2. The game features a gameplay mechanic called "Dead Eye" that allows the player to slow time to achieve easy head shots and kills. The game is also set in the late 1800's, early 1900's in the old West, which is why Desus typically references a Sheriff after saying Dead Eye Desus. (credit to u/biggak)
Mr. Shopping at StreetEasy with a bad breezy like I'm Yeezy, please believe me — Another one of Desus' tongue twisters, this one is in reference to shopping at StreetEasy, a NYC real estate website with an attractive woman like Kanye West might do
The Black Asiatic who will crack your back like an automatic craftmatic — Added in episode 54 after Desus' continuing gag about "big Black Asiatic men" (often referencing their penises). Here Desus is implying that sex with him (a Black Asiatic man) is very vigorous by saying he will change your posture like a Craftmatic mattress, which is a brand of mattress whose shape and orientation can be controlled electronically
Mr. La Marina in a mesh Merina with a fresh misdemeanor and a cold demeanor — This one is a doozy, but was adopted after Desus mentioned his frequent trips to La Marina (a bar on the water in Manhattan) in episodes released in the summer of 2016. A mesh Merina is a a mesh tank top (I think). The other two parts are self explanatory. Not sure how he always gets this one right without mixing up the words.
The Sheet-Mask Killer (No one could be iller) — A reference to Sheet Masks, a skin care routine some might find to be bougie. "No one could be iller" is a reference to how ODB introduces Ghostface Killah on "Da Mystery of Chessboxin" by Wu Tang Clan (credit to u/atorMMM)
The Black Zack Morris of Port Morris — A take on Zack Morris for his problematic schemes on Saved by the Bell. (credit to u/justic3bon3r) Port Morris is a neighborhood in the Bronx (credit to u/m9rockstar) home of The Bronx Brewery and Bodega Boys Beer
Young KPI — More than likely a reference to the various random office jobs Desus had (KPI = key performance indicator) (credit to u/atorMMM)
Your Personal Desus — Desus sometimes will recite lyrics by Depeche Mode “Personal Jesus” (1989) More than likely this is a play off his main alias (credit to u/justic3bon3r)
The Pelé of Peleton — Pelé (Edson Arantes do Nascimento) was a former Brazilian soccer player and considered one of the greats. Desus is an avid Peleton user so much he deems himself the greatest of all time
Your problematic bae — Desus occasionally says problematic things, but you still love him, hence him being your “bae”. He always ends with this one, followed by an exaggerated kissing sound.
*After Desus's last aka he gives some sort of problematic advice sometimes followed by explosions*

Mero

Mero (u/THE_KID_MERO) is far less consistent with his aliases. Depending upon how smacked he is, he will often exclude or repeat some of his aliases. He also adds them far less frequently than Desus.
The Kid Mero — In a Hot 97 interview on April 13th 2017, Mero explained that this alias comes from the fact that his father and uncle wanted to name him "Ramiro", but his mother vetoed it and named him "Joel". His father and uncle continued to call him "Ramiro", which was shortened to "Miro" as a nickname. When Mero started tagging, he changed Miro to Mero because he found E to be a nicer letter to write (credit to u/atorMMM) as well as he just didn't like how the "i" looked. Also tagging the name "Ramiro" that long would get you arrested
The Human Durag Flap — Mero’s original nickname, and a reference to how hood he is and his uncircumcised status, something that gets referenced very often (credit u/ZeddyG2 and u/chandlersokay)
Curve Gotti — A play on “Irv Gotti”, former boss of Murder, Inc. records
Donovan Mcdabb — A play on former NFL player Donovan Mcnabb, in reference to dabbing, which could have two meanings (smoking THC oil or the dance move created by the Migos)
Trizz Khalifa — A play on “Wiz Khalifa”, but substituting the first part of the name with the slang “Trizz”. Usually said in a fake patois, imitating Popcaan's cry of "Fuck Wiz Khalifa!" at a Mixpak event
SKKRRRT Loder — A play on “Kurt Loder” former host on MTV News and editor at Rolling Stone
James St. Fatdick, I'll Ghost on you shorty — Originated right around the premiere of season 4 of Starz hit show "Power", here referencing the main character James St. Patrick, whose street alias is "Ghost"
Tiger Backwoods — A reference to pro golfer Tiger Woods and Mero’s love for smoking backwoods
“I no fucking baby, I fucking man!” — A reference to the viral video that sent friend of the brand Pioladitingancia to fame
“Check the guest list again because my name is definitely on it, and no I’m not stepping to the side while you check! ” — Not so much a nickname but something Mero might have said back in the day when he was broke and had to lie about being on guest lists to get into clubs
CC Dab-bathia — A play on Yankees Starting Pitchers name, CC Sabathia (and close friend of the brand)
Goldman Shm-achs — A variation of the phrase made popular by Bobby Shmurda and a reference to Goldman Sachs.
Mensch Montana — An alias borrowed from French Montana (who is from South Bronx) and popular artist with the Bodega Boys. They have mentioned his classic Mac and Cheese mixtapes numerous times on the podcast. Also this is a nod to his Jewish family connection; Mensch is Yiddish for "good guy." (credit to u/chefboyardu)
The Da-da-da Dad of the year — A play on a lyric from ScHoolboy Qs song "Man of The Year" (credit u/ZeddyG2). Mero already has three Mero Jr’s and the bodega princess, and as far as we can tell is an awesome dad, thus earning such a title. Confirmed to be a ScHoolboy Q reference in episode 56
Been-Smacked Biyombo — A play on “Bismack Biyombo”, a professional basketball player on the Charlotte Hornets
Di-Yayo Maradona — Reference to Argentinean soccer legend Diego Maradona and slang for coke (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Dick-in-ya-bae Mutombo — A play on Dikembe Mutombo, former NBA player. Mero now respects the woman’s agency and asks for permission first before entering
Barlos Santana — A play on famed guitarist Carlos Santana and Xanax bars
The Dominican Don Dada — Jamaican Patois slang (I believe) for “top pimp” or “big player”, and as we know Mero is of Dominican descent, hence “Dominican Don Dada”. The phrase "Jamaican Don Dada" is used by the character Lennox in the movie "Belly", which is a classic in hip hop culture (credit to u/a-1-since-day-1) He follows this up with "catch me at Locksmith throwing up on myself". Locksmith is a bar on 192nd & Broadway in Inwood, which is a REALLY Dominican NYC neighborhood (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Some variation of "swipe my card again, put the bag over it, there's definitely money on it!" — A reference to a familiar experience for anyone who has been broke, in which you lie and act like it's the store's fault when your card gets declined
Romeo Xantos — A reference to famed Bachata artist and Xanax, Bachata being a dance and music style originating in the Dominican Republic. Also the added "Sooo xanny, lemme black out" is a play on Romeo's adlib "sooo nasty, lemme find out" (credit to u/terminal-chillness)
Light-an-L Dutchie "Hello? Is it weed you're looking for?" — Another weed double entendre referencing Lionel Richie and his famous song "Hello"
Papa Sushi, The Dyckman Don — A reference to often-referenced MamaSushi, a fusion sushi restaurant on Dyckman Street in Manhattan
Tom Brazy, your girl got my balls deflated — A boastful play on the Deflategate controversy surrounding Tom Brady and the New England Patriots after the 2014-2015 AFL Championship game
Feel-da-ass Tyson (CONSENSUALLY WITH YOUR PERMISSION) — A play on “Neil DeGrasse Tyson”, a well known physicist
Lil’ Snoozie Vert— A play on the name Lil Uzi Vert. This is also in reference for when Mero actually ‘tapped out’ on Instagram Live
Fry-an-L Messi — A play on Lionel Messi, a famous Argentinian soccer player of Italian descent, and smoking an "L", slang for blunt
Joe Hookah "I dare you! To smoke with me! At MamaSushi!" — A reference to rapper Black Rob's song "I Dare You" that features Joe Hooker on the hook. MamaSushi is a high-end restaurant chain located in New York
Ben Barson my hands are gifted — During the 2016 election cycle, famed neurosurgeon Ben Carson engaged in a brief campaign for the Republican nomination. Mero took to doing impressions of him, exaggerating Carson’s urban upbringing by saying he was “Ben Barson”, in which the “C” was replaced with a “B”, as a Blood gang member would. Unlike Desus, who almost never fumbles his nicknames, Mero has maybe said this one correctly one time
Xaniel Bedingfield — A play on Daniel Bedingfield followed by Mero playing "I Gotta Get Through This" a popular song by the artist Daniel Bedingfield with lyrics that are about Xanax (credit to u/KTTeal)
Some variation of “I’ll open your medicine cabinet and take all of your Benzos” — This is self-referential in two ways: 1. The earlier reference here is to when Mero admitted to Desus that he will unashamedly go through people’s medicine cabinets in order to snoop on their lives and 2. After the boat party story in which Mero got drunk and took some Xanax’s, he added “I’ll take all of your benzos” bit to express how much he enjoys the feeling Benzodiazepines create
The Xandman — This is a play on the musical artist “Scatman John” who was most known for his song “Scatman’s World”, the chorus of which Mero imitates with this name and the accompanying vocalization
Rico Sabroso — Spanish for “Rich Tasty”, but I’m not sure what the reference here is beyond that
Baby Newport — I assume a reference to Newport brand cigarettes, stereotypically popular in urban areas
Niño Brown — A reference to the main character of the film “New Jack City”, in which Wesley Snipes plays a crack dealer named Nino Brown, but pronounced like the Spanish word for "kid", giving it some Latino flavor (credit to u/Okieant33)
The East Tremont Stevie B — East Tremont is a predominately Hispanic area of the Bronx, while Stevie B was a recording artist from the 80’s with some incredible Jheri Curls. Sometimes sings "I want to be the one your Titi is fucking" after
I met Mike Francesca im never gon’ fail — A direct reference from when the Bodega Boys actually met Mike on the last episode on Desus & Mero on Viceland. In translation, this means after finally meeting with the iconic Sports Pope this makes him unstoppable. This is also a reference to Kanye West's song 'Ultralight Beam' where Chance the Rapper says "I met Kanye West, I'm never gonna fail" (credit to u/RemyDWD)
The Plantain Supernova in the Sky — A reference to the Oasis hit “Champagne Supernova”, but changed to reflect Mero’s Dominican heritage, which often uses plantains in its cuisine. Occasionally he will sing an extended version, which goes “One day you will find me, smoking weed on Tremont/in the Plantain Supernova in the sky”. How does he hit these melodies so perfectly every time?
Tom Petty and the Ball Breakers — A play on the rock band name ‘Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’. Mero sings the chorus from Tom Petty’s solo project “Free Fallin’” as “Free Ballin’” suggesting that he feels free doing his Zoom calls without pants
Barmelo Xanthony — An incredible play on the Bodega Boy’s favorite NBA player, Carmelo Xanthony, and Mero’s beloved Xanax’s. (credit to u/terminal-chillness) Most recently, Mero has changed his references to him making sound financial decisions and balancing his portfolio since the interview with Carmelo himself on Desus & Mero on Showtime
Some variation of “If you see me in Target approach me like a bear” — Originates from Mero’s love of getting really high and hanging out in Target. Being high sometimes makes him paranoid, so he doesn’t like people just running up on him. Desus suggested people “approach him diagonally, like you would a bear”. Mero interchanges “bear”, “Ursine Mammal”, and “Oso” (Spanish for “bear”) at random
Benzo the Clown — A problematic clown for kids that ruins birthday parties and not refunding your $50 deposit. Originated on Episode 96, Desus starts talking about rolling up to Mero Jr’s bar mitzvah smacked. (credit to u/outtaspite) Benzo’s antics are normally cut short by Mr. Fun Fun (voiced by Desus) normally ending with the problematic light
I sold fake Lean to your favorite SoundCloud rapper — Not sure this is a specific reference other than the fact that Lean is pretty much a guaranteed accessory for any SoundCloud rapper and Actavis discontinued their codeine/promethazine cough syrup in 2014 due to abuse, so a lot of people are drinking fake Lean.
"Llego el hijo de Tito y Fifa papi"/"The son of Tito and Fifa has arrived, papi — In later episodes, Mero began to include some Spanish phrases at the end of his list of aliases, usually beginning with this phrase and building off of it. When Mero does this he also says "Hassan tira me lo pita" which is slang for "Hassan drop me a beat". Mero is making pretend that he's a DJ on NY's Spanish Radio Station 97.9 La Mega. Mero from here goes on to talk all kinds of shit about how hard and gangster he is. (credit to u/bobbuddha and u/Okieant33)
Please correct me if you have ideas or see mistakes!
​
Discontinued aliases:
Desus

• Young Green Room
• Desus Vice
• Vice-K Matsuzaka
• Kristap Por-sling-dick
• The Human Jerry Curl

Mero

• Blem de la blem
• Young Pap Smear
• Metro Bloomin' Onion (credit to u/raybegleiter)
• Fry-an-L Messi (Mero at one point said this instead of "Light-an-L Messi", he'll probably go back and forth)
• Papi Shampoo
• Lucious Lyon-ass nigga
• David Trizz-Dale