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How to build and play Joseph Joestar in D&D 5e
What Even is This?
Inspired by the Building Character series by D&D Youtuber Tulok the Barbrarian, this series of slides over the next few months will be devoted to showing you how to play the Jojos that we all know and love in your games. Most of all, this is basically a thank you to three of my favorite things. Thanks to Jojo for having introduced me to a wonderful universe of characters to love. Thanks to D&D for introducing me to a wonderful pastime and the world of homebrewing with my Hicks Homebrew account. And thanks to Tulok for inspiring all this and entertaining numerous people with his builds. Thank you very much, and hope you enjoy!
The Plan
Over the next few months, both at the beginning and the end of each month, I plan to post a new D&D 5e build of each of the main Jojos. This will all lead up to April 4th, to the hopeful reveal of the Stone Ocean anime during the Jojo special event.
This will be a build for Joseph Joestar, the second main Jojo of the series, the first secondary Jojo and the only Jojo to be a third Jojo in a part that wasn’t his own. He is a fan favorite and has a lot of abilities over the years, and I have to try to fit it in 20 levels...this will be interesting
Goals for this build
We need to be able to make your punches shine, like your grandfather before you Need to be clever enough to use whatever you can to gain the advantage in battle. We need to unlock your stand, Hermit Purple, a stand that does multiple things… so this will be VERY interesting
Stats for this build
We’ll be using the standard point array for this build, roll for stats if you’d like, but just keep multiclassing requirements in mind there are a few of them here.
Dexterity: 15 - You like to attack a lot and I don’t think Hermit Purple is a heavy weapon
Charisma: 14 - You are in 3 Jojo parts and probably alive to the end of Stone Ocean, that's gotta be because of someone liking you
Strength: 13 - This is for multiclassing and you are part of the beefy squad of the Jojos
Constitution: 12 - You’re dealing with creatures that suck the life force from people so having a positive modifier would be nice
Wisdom: 10 - You can read people well but we’ll fix that with something we get from our class
Intelligence: 8 - We REALLY aren’t gonna need this high and honestly, you’re kinda an adorable dummy
Background for this build
For race, Joseph is a human like literally all of the Jojos so we’re gonna go with Variant Human Variant Humans get a feat, go with the Fighting Initiate feat to pick up the Unarmed Fighting style. This will make your unarmed strikes deal 1d6 + your Strength modifier in bludgeoning damage, 1d8 when you aren’t wielding a weapon or shield, and you can deal 1d4 bludgeoning damage to a creature you have grappled at the start of your turn. Just a spoiler this isn’t going to be the greatest attack option available to you but what would a Joseph build be without the ability to punch good?
For your two free ability points, pick up a +1 in both Charisma and Dexterity
For your free skill, pick up Deception because you’re really really good at it
Build your own background for the Persuasion and Performance, you liked to get the best deal on kebabs and goof around in fights.
1st Level
Kick things off as a Rogue, first level rogues get 4 skills to get proficiency in, pick up Acrobatics, Athletics, Perception, and Sleight of Hand for all the Joseph-esque skills.
You also get Expertise in two skills of your choice, I’d go for Perception and Deception to notice things no one else would and to be able to lie to what is essentially a god.
You also get Sneak Attack at this level, where you can add an additional 1d6 damage to an attack made with a finesse or ranged weapon once per turn against a creature that you have advantage on or when it is within 5 feet to an ally. The damage increases at later levels for the ability to hit below the belt, which is very on brand for Joseph.
You also get Thieves’ Cant, which is a special language only thieves can use, so you can tell someone his bubbles are stupid, even if they speak some make believe language like Italian.
2nd Level
Let's head over to paladin now. 1st level paladins get abilities such as Divine Sense, which as an action lets you know the location of any celestial, fiend, or undead or if a place or object is consecrated or desecrated within 60 feet of you. You can do this amount of times equal to 1 + your Charisma modifier per long rest.
You also get Lay on Hands, which gives you a pool of hp equal to 5 x your paladin level. As an action you can touch a creature and either heal an amount of hp equal to the amount drawn or can expend 5 points to cure them of disease or poison. Use this if anything screws up your lungs because lungs are vital for Hamon-users.
3rd Level
2nd level paladins get a fighting style, pick up Dueling to add +2 to damage rolls made with wielding a melee weapon in one hand and no other weapon. I would say that Hermit Purple would be a whip in combat, which does 1d4 slashing damage, has the finesse property and has a melee range of 10 feet. However you don’t have a stand yet so just punch or say these are your clacker volleys.
Paladins also get spells at this level. You can prepare an amount of spells equal to your Charisma plus half your paladin level. For spells this level, I recommend picking up Divine Favor, which adds 1d4 radiant damage to all weapon attacks you make for 1 minute or until you drop concentration. I also recommend Shield of Faith, which adds +2 to the AC of a creature within 60 feet of you for 10 minutes or until you drop concentration. I also recommend Detect Evil and Good. This lets you know if there is an aberration, celestial, elemental, fey, fiend, or undead within 30 feet of you, as well as where the creature is located. Similarly, you know if there is a place or object within 30 feet of you that has been magically consecrated or desecrated for 10 minutes or until you drop concentration. The spell can penetrate most barriers, but it is blocked by 1 foot of stone, 1 inch of common metal, a thin sheet of lead, or 3 feet of wood or dirt. If the Pillar Men don’t count as undead, this will help ping them.
But I recommend casting my favorite paladin spell, Divine Smite, which isn’t actually a spell but a paladin feature. This feature lets you spend a spell slot to channel hamon into your attacks, dealing 2d8 radiant damage to a creature you hit with a melee weapon attack, adding 1d8 for each spell level above 1st for a max of 5d8. The damage increases by 1d8 if the target is an undead or a fiend, to a max of 6d8, so try and steer your DM to make the Pillar Men either of those.
4th Level
3rd level paladins get Divine Health, which makes you immune to disease. Again, no joke. Social distance and treat this seriously and hopefully we can get over this early in 2021.
Paladins also get to pick a Sacred Oath at this level, and I think you’re like your grandfather and imma make you an Oath of Devotion paladin. You gain spells as part of your Oath. Protection from Evil and Good is a spell that gives aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiend, and undead disadvantage on attack rolls on the target of this spell. The target can’t be charmed, frightened, or possessed by these creatures, and has advantage on any new saving throw if they are already charmed, frightened, or possessed. This lasts for 10 minutes or until you drop concentration. You also get Sanctuary, which wards a creature within range against attack. Until the spell ends in a minute, any creature who targets the warded creature with an attack or a harmful spell must first make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature must choose a new target or lose the attack or spell. This spell doesn't protect the warded creature from area effects, such as the explosion of a fireball. This ends early if the warded creature causes damage or affects an enemy. You tend not to play well with others, but you COULD end a fight peacefully.
You also get Channel Divinity from your Oath, with two options to use it on once per short or long rest. Devotion paladins get Sacred Weapon, which lets you add your Charisma modifier to attack rolls made with a weapon (with a minimum bonus of +1), make the weapon emits bright light in a 20-foot radius and dim light 20 feet beyond that, and makes it magical if it isn’t already. This lasts for 1 minute, and you can end it on your turn, if you drop the weapon, or if you fall unconscious. You can also Turn the Unholy, where each fiend or undead within 30 feet of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. If it fails its saving throw, it is turned for 1 minute or until it takes damage. it must spend its turns trying to move as far away from you as it can, and can’t willingly move within 30 feet of you, can’t take reactions, and use only the Dash action or try to escape from an effect that prevents it from moving. If there’s nowhere to move, it uses the Dodge action. The second option isn’t as in character, so just brighten up your clacker volley.
5th Level
4th level paladins get an Ability Score Improvement to increase ability scores or pick up a feat. Pick up the Tavern Brawler feat. You can increase your Strength or Constitution by 1, pick Strength to hit a little harder with your hamon punches. You also gain proficiency in improvised weapons, and when you hit a creature with an unarmed strike or an improvised weapon on your turn, you can use a bonus action to attempt to grapple the target. You used a HAT to kill an immortal fitness god, that is what makes you amazing.
You also get another spell at this level. Cure Wounds is a 1st level spell that lets A creature you touch regains a number of hit points equal to 1d8 + your spellcasting ability modifier. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the healing increases by 1d8 for each slot level above 1st. Maybe if Joseph used this, Zeppeli would still be alive….wait this seems familiar...
6th Level
Going back to rogue now, 2nd level rogues get Cunning Action, which allows you to take the Dash, Disengage, or Hide action. This makes you super mobile on your turn, which fits well with the Roguish Archetype that you’ll get.
7th Level
Which is what you get at the third level of rogue. I would say Joseph’s fighting style makes him a Swashbuckler. Swashbuckler rogues get Fancy Footwork, where when you make a melee attack against a creature, that creature can’t make opportunity attacks against you for the rest of your turn, so then you can hit and run the scary ascended aztec immortal. You also get Rakish Audacity, which lets you add your Charisma modifier to initiative rolls. You also don’t need advantage on the attack roll to use your Sneak Attack against a creature if you are within 5 feet of it, no other creatures are within 5 feet of you, and you don’t have disadvantage on the attack roll, Joseph is amazing at 1v1s. Your Sneak Attack also increases to 2d6 for better below the belt damage.
8th Level 4th level rogues get an Ability Score Improvement, bump up your Dexterity for better hits with your cracker volleys and any crossbows in case you need to use one in a chariot race...just in case
9th Level
5th level rogues get Uncanny Dodge, which lets you reduce the damage of an incoming attack you can see by half as a reaction. Kars and the Pillar Men seem to be the type of creatures to send out lots, so being able to reduce that is always a good thing. Your Sneak Attack damage also increases to 3d6 at this level.
10th Level
6th level rogues get expertise in two more skills, how about Persuasion to ask that cute Italian girl on a date and Acrobatics to better dodge the attacks from that same cute Italian girl being possessed by the immortal aztec god with the boiling blood. It’s called Jojo's BIZARRE Adventure for a reason.
11th Level
7th level rogues have 4d6 Sneak Attack damage at this level and they also get Evasion, which lets you take no damage when you successfully make a Dexterity saving throw, and only take half damage when you fail. This way, you can make sure to survive whatever those enemy stand users have to throw at you....oh wait you don’t have a stand yet… let's fix that real quick.
12th Level
1st level warlocks get to pick an Otherworldly Patron, and for Joseph it's kinda a stretch, but I'm going to say the Great Old One fits the best for Joseph. The whole ability of Hermit Purple is about seeking out information, and I figure GOOlocks are the best in doing that. Plus the stand arrows come from space, so it all works out! 1st level GOOlocks get Awakened Mind, which allows you to telepathically speak to any creature you can see within 30 feet of you as long as it can speak one language. This is a good way to speak to other stand users without others knowing what you’re saying.
You also get spells at this level, Mage Hand is a cantrip that summons a tendril of Hermit Purple within 30 feet. The hand lasts for 1 minute or until you dismiss it as an action, or it vanishes if it is ever more than 30 feet away from you or if you cast this spell again. You can use it as an action to manipulate an object, open an unlocked door or container, stow or retrieve an item from an open container, or pour the contents out of a vial, but you can’t attack with it, activate magic items, or carry more than 10 pounds. You can move it up to 30 feet each time you use it. True Strike is another cantrip that you cast as an action to gain advantage on your next weapon attack but is terrible, just attack twice. Charm Person is a 1st level spell that forces a creature to make a Wisdom saving throw (with advantage if you’re fighting it), and is charmed by you if it fails until the spell ends in an hour or until you do anything harmful to it. It considers you a friend, but it knows it was charmed by you when it ends. This is a great spell for when you go into real estate, to really seal the deal. Comprehend Languages is a spell that lets you understand any spoken or written language for an hour, but not any secret unknown languages. You can speak English, Italian, Japanese, Arabic, hell you could probably speak whale if you wanted to. In terms of multiclassing with paladin, you have spell slots from paladin that come back on a long rest, spell slots from warlock that come back on a short rest, and you can cast spells from either class with either slots. So spoiler alert, but you’ll easily get 5th level warlock slots to cast Divine Smite, meaning you always have some slots to take Dio on.
13th Level
2nd level warlocks get Eldritch Invocations which are basically feats that only warlocks can take...or if you take a feat for it, but that's not what we’re doing. Armor of Shadows lets you cast the Mage Armor spell at will, which lets you have an AC of 13 + your Dexterity modifier while you’re not wearing armor. You also get a second one at this level but take whatever you’d want, because we’re gonna drop it next level.
For this level’s spell, Witch Bolt lets you make a ranged spell attack against a creature. On a hit, the target takes 1d12 lightning damage, and on each of your turns for the duration, you can use your action to deal 1d12 lightning damage to the target automatically. The spell ends after a minute, if you lose concentration, if you use your action to do anything else, if the target is ever outside the spell’s range, or if it has total cover from you. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the initial damage increases by 1d12 for each slot level above 1st. For when you wanna zap people with hamon, but not the “sun-like and vampire killing” kind.
14th Level
3rd level warlocks get to pick a Pact Boon. Pact of the Blade lets you summon a melee weapon to your hand that you are proficient with and is considered magical for overcoming resistance and immunity. You can also transform one magic weapon into your pact weapon by performing a 1 hour ritual while you hold the weapon and can be done during a short rest. You can then dismiss the weapon, shunting it into an extradimensional space, and it appears whenever you create your pact weapon thereafter. You can’t affect an artifact or a sentient weapon in this way. The weapon ceases being your pact weapon if you die, if you perform the 1-hour ritual on a different weapon or to break your bond to it. The weapon appears at your feet if it is in the extradimensional space when the bond breaks. Remember that invocation I said you could pick whatever you want? Drop that one and pick up the Improved Pact Weapon invocation, now your pact weapon is a focus for your warlock spells, gains +1 to attack and damage rolls if it doesn’t already, and it can now be a shortbow, longbow, light crossbow, or heavy crossbow. Remember when I said Hermit Purple would probably be a whip? This is why, and you can still get your Sneak Attack with it.
You also get 2nd level spells at this level, Detect Thoughts is a 2nd level spell which is how you can bamboozle people very often. For 1 minute or until you lose concentration, You can read surface level thoughts of any creature within 30 feet with an Intelligence of at least 3. As an action, you can either shift your attention to another creature's thoughts or attempt to probe deeper into the same creature's mind. If you probe deeper, the target must make a Wisdom saving throw. If it fails, you gain insight into its reasoning, its emotional state, and something that looms large in its mind. If it succeeds, the spell ends. Either way, the target knows that you are probing into its mind, and unless you shift your attention to another creature's thoughts, the creature can use its action on its turn to make an Intelligence check contested by your Intelligence check; if it succeeds, the spell ends. The spell can penetrate barriers, but 2 feet of rock, 2 inches of any metal other than lead, or a thin sheet of lead blocks you. Check the Player’s Handbook for more about this spell, and use it to fool people into thinking you know everything.
15th Level
4th level warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement. Cap off your Dexterity for the best Hermit Purple attacks and AC your soul can buy
You can also learn a new spell and cantrip at this level. For the cantrip, believe me when I say pick whatever you’d like. For the leveled spell, Hold Person is a 2nd level spell that forces a creature within 60 feet to make a Wisdom saving throw, being paralyzed on a failure for 1 minute or until you lose concentration. At the end of each of its turns, the target can make another Wisdom saving throw. On a success, the spell ends on the target. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 3rd level or higher, you can target one additional humanoid for each slot level above 2nd. The humanoids must be within 30 feet of each other when you target them. This is a great spell to unload all your spell slots to smite a paralyzed creature, because all attacks made from 5 feet are critical hits. So tie a person up with Hermit Purple and do your best impression of your grandson while they are tied up.
16th Level
5th level warlocks get another Eldritch Invocation, Thirsting Blade lets you attack twice when you take the Attack action with your pact weapon. More attacks, more damage, what’s more to say? A bit actually, because you can only get Sneak Attack on one attack per turn, so either wait for a critical hit to dump Divine Smites into, or just cast Hold Person and try to kill Whammu in one hit...why is he still standing?
You also get 3rd level spells at this level. Clairvoyance is a 3rd level spell that creates an invisible sensor within range in a location familiar to you or in an obvious location that is unfamiliar to you (such as behind a door, around a corner, or in a grove of trees). The sensor remains in place for the duration, and it can't be attacked or otherwise interacted with. When you cast the spell, you choose seeing or hearing. You can use the chosen sense through the sensor as if you were in its space. As for your action, you can switch between seeing and hearing. A creature that can see the sensor (such as a creature benefiting from See Invisibility or Truesight) sees a luminous, intangible orb about the size of your fist. This is great for various recon scenarios, and is something I can see Hermit Purple doing.
17th Level
6th level GOOlocks get Entropic Ward. Once per short or long rest, when a creature makes an attack roll against you, you can use your reaction to impose disadvantage on that roll. If the attack misses you, your next attack roll against the creature has advantage if you make it before the end of your next turn. Wrap Hermit Purple around the weapon to stop it, maybe you could’ve done this with the rock that fell on Caesar?...Now I’m sad.
You also learn a new spell at this level. Sending is not super in character, it lets you send a short message of twenty-five words or less to a creature with at least 1 in Intelligence with which you are familiar. The creature hears the message in its mind, recognizes you as the sender if it knows you, and can answer in a like manner immediately. You can send the message across any distance and even to other planes of existence, but if the target is on a different plane than you, there is a 5 percent chance that the message doesn't arrive. I’m not sure if Hermit Purple CAN do this, but I bet not because it wouldn’t be as interesting if you got split up from the other Crusaders and then you could go “hey meet me over in X place”. Would cut some arcs short.
18th Level
7th level warlocks get a new Eldritch Invocation. Fiendish Vigor lets you cast False Life at 1st level at will, which lets you get temporary hp equal to 1d4 + 4. This is probably part of what has been keeping you alive all these years, and also maybe the life energy flowing through you, or because you’re a fan favorite.
You also can learn 4th level spells at this level. Charm Monster is like Charm Person, but not restricted to just humanoids, in case you want to sell real estate to some of the Pillar Men or vampires. I’m now envisioning Dracula buying a mansion from you and then killing him because yknow...sun energy thing...
19th Level
8th level warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement, bump up your Charisma to increase your spell save DC and just to be more charming. For this level’s spell, pick whatever you want, because nothing really fits for you enough to talk about until the next level.
20th Level
Which is the 9th level of warlock for 5th level spells, Scrying is the Hermit Purple spell. You can see and hear a particular creature you choose that is on the same plane of existence as you. The target must make a Wisdom saving throw, which is modified by how well you know the target and the sort of physical connection you have to it. If a target knows you're casting this spell, it can fail the saving throw voluntarily if it wants to be observed. On a successful save, the target isn't affected, and you can't use this spell against it again for 24 hours. On a failed save, the spell creates an invisible sensor within 10 feet of the target. You can see and hear through the sensor as if you were there. The sensor moves with the target, remaining within 10 feet of it for the duration. A creature that can see invisible objects sees the sensor as a luminous orb about the size of your fist. Instead of targeting a creature, you can choose a location you have seen before as the target of this spell. When you do, the sensor appears at that location and doesn't move. This is literally how you find Dio and win a bunch of your fights in Part 3. I also recommend picking up Hold Monster with that spell you probably didn’t take last level. This spell is like Hold Person without the humanoid requirement, so then you can get critical hits on Dio when you approach him to beat the shit out of him.
You also get your last Eldritch Invocation at this level. Otherworldly Leap lets you cast the Jump spell at will, which triples your jump distance, so you can swing around Egypt like a Joestar version of Spider-Man. Joe-Spider? Spider-Star? Spider-Star.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
You can do pretty consistent damage, with multiple ways to get advantage for Sneak Attack, Divine Smite and ways to paralyze targets to get max damage
You are fairly skilled, and can easily charm or lie your way through a fight or into the audiences’ hearts
You have several movement abilities and spells, and features and what not to make you hard to hit and even harder to damage
Cons:
Most spells you have require concentration, and unlike Jonathan you don’t really have much in the Constitution department
You’re low Constitution also means that if you get hit, you don’t have much in terms of actual hp
Your spell save DC is not capped, and while a 17 DC is good for early and middle game, not so much at level 20
But that’s okay, lie and charm your way into living longer than so many others, take down three immortal gods, and be so many peoples’ favorite Jojo in the series. Just make sure you give your wife some attention and gifts, they do say diamonds are unbreakab-I mean a ladies best friend...what was that about?

Part 85 here
Alright. Alright. Alright. Let's keep digging further into the rabbit hole of a weaponized simulation being used to manipulate societal behavior by the Technocrat Surveillance State.
First of all. PClick on the link. Take a look. This is what they call us. ZOMBIES Source Here

According to internal NSA documents seen by SPIEGEL, the NSA has focused on accessing smartphone data. In a secret presentation, the agency ironically uses an image from the iconic Apple Macintosh ad aired during 1984 Superbowl, which referenced the George Orwell book "1984." The presentation went on to show Steve Jobs as "Big Brother." The NSA documents indicate that the agency can access a wide variety of iPhone geolocation features and other data.The implication of the presentation is that iPhone users are somehow complicit in their own surveillance by buying iPhones in the first place.

And do you know what you can do with zombies? Click and drop them wherever you want and lead them to where you need them to be. Because zombies really aren't dangerous, despite all the entertainment showing otherwise. They're only dangerous of you don't control the environment around you. If you fall asleep at the wheel. Which is why they're running simulations with Sentient World Simulation and manipulating our behaviour. So how deep does the data gathering go? Really deep.

We're All In This Together

NSA whistleblower Drake says the problem is that both CSEC and the NSA lack proper oversight, and without it, they have morphed into runaway surveillance. "There is a clear and compelling danger to democracy in Canada by virtue of how far these secret surveillance operations have gone." Much of the document contains hyper-sensitive operational details which CBC News has chosen not to make public.Wesley Wark, a Canadian security and intelligence expert at the University of Ottawa, says the document makes it clear Canada can take advantage of its relatively benign image internationally to covertly amass a vast amount of information abroad. Source Here

So we're all part of the same team. The Five Eyes.
So think about it. USA. Canada. Britain. Australia. New Zealand. Our Governments collect all our data and then pump it into a simulation like SEAS, before letting an algorithm do it's thing and shape our incoming data to mold our behaviors. Proof? Sort of. Those massive data centers in Utah aren't there as decoration. We have proof of behavioural manipulating studies done by Facebook. And we also have proof of an extremely advanced simulation. This isn't a leap to say that they use this apparatus against us. Is it?

The NSA and GCHQ have traded recipes for various purposes such as grabbing location data and journey plans that are made when a target uses Google Maps, and vacuuming up address books, buddy lists, phone logs and geographic data embedded in photos posted on the mobile versions of numerous social networks such as Facebook, Flickr, LinkedIn, Twitter and other services. In a separate 20-page report dated 2012, GCHQ cited the popular smartphone game "Angry Birds" as an example of how an application could be used to extract user data. Taken together, such forms of data collection would allow the agencies to collect vital information about a user's life, including his or her home country, current location (through geolocation), age, gender, ZIP code, marital status, income, ethnicity, sexual orientation, education level, number of children, etc. A GCHQ document dated August 2012 provided details of the Squeaky Dolphin surveillance program, which enables GCHQ to conduct broad, real-time monitoring of various social media features and social media traffic such as YouTube video views, the Like button on Facebook, and Blogspot/Blogger visits without the knowledge or consent of the companies providing those social media features. The agency's "Squeaky Dolphin" program can collect, analyze and utilize YouTube, Facebook and Blogger data in specific situations in real time for analysis purposes. The program also collects the addresses from the billions of videos watched daily as well as some user information for analysis purposes.

Whelp. They sure are like an octopus with their tentacles in everything, aren't they? And I do mean everything, isn’t that right Bill get the jab Gates?
Why on earth would they need this data unless they were using it? They wouldn't. Now the problem becomes, how are they using it? Remember, they want to launch the Internet of Things so they can watch everything. Do you know who else watched everything? Jeffery Epstein.

Giuffre adds that Epstein had hidden cameras everywhere in his homes—massage rooms, bedrooms, showers, toilets. “Every single corner of that house was monitored,” she says. “He was watching everyone all the time. This was a blackmail scheme.… When he told me, ‘People owe me favors’ and ‘I will never get caught’ and ‘I can get away with things,’ he meant it.”

Ransome claims that she was raped by Epstein her first night on the island, and continued to be abused by him throughout the trip. With no way to leave, Ransome said that she even “tried to escape”—making her way to a remote part of the island. But Epstein found her “almost immediately.” Ransome said, “I knew then that I was being watched 24/7.” Source Here

That doesn't look good for living in a omnipresent surveillance state does it. And hey, didn't Jeffery hang out with Bill Gates quite a bit?

Microsoft handed the NSA access to encrypted messages • Secret files show scale of Silicon Valley co-operation on Prism • Outlook.com encryption unlocked even before official launch • • Skype worked to enable Prism collection of video calls • Company says it is legally compelled to comply • Material collected through Prism is routinely shared with the FBI and CIA, with one NSA document describing the program as a "team sport". Source Here

Yep. Birds a feather, as they say.
So the material is collected through Prism? So now when they say Prism, I'm pretty sure they mean to indicate a light source on one side and a rainbow coming out the other side, right? Makes sense, doesn't it? And a rainbow is a collection of colors. Hmmmm. I feel like I have a revolutionary thought coming on.
Color revolutions! You know, like the kind that swept the middle east. Isn't that funny? Not really, but you know what I mean. Because these guys love just making it obvious, don't they? Why? Because we're all a bunch of zombies, that's why!
And a funny thing happens when you start to dive into some of the revolutionary protests. You start to see a link between where China increases trade with a country, and right around the same time the protests spontaneously start up!
What a coincidence!
The Egyptian revolution of 2011, also known as the 25 January Revolution (Arabic: ثورة 25 يناير‎; Thawrat khamsa wa-ʿišrūn yanāyir),[21] started on 25 January 2011 and spread across Egypt.https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egyptian_revolution_of_2011
Recognizing that the current trade volume heavily favors China, both sides committed to work to improve Egypt’s share of the balance of trade. The volume of Sino-Egyptian trade reached $8.8 billion in 2011, a 26% increase from 2010. Source Here
I'm only going to give one example, but there are more. These are color revolutions all right, but they're the color of money. Remember, the Sentient World Simulation can simulate over 60 countries at once, and that's what they're willing to tell us. How much do you want to bet the real capacity is beyond top secret?
And what happened in Russia and China im 2011?

The 2011 Chinese pro-democracy protests (simplified Chinese: 中国茉莉花革命; traditional Chinese: 中國茉莉花革命) or (simplified Chinese: 伟大的中华茉莉花革命; traditional Chinese: 偉大的中華茉莉花革命) refers to a series of minor public assemblies at some cities in China starting on 20 February 2011, inspired by and named after the Jasmine Revolution in Tunisia and the wider Arab Spring.

The 2011–2013 Russian protests (which some English language media referred to as the Snow Revolution)[14] began in 2011 (as protests against the 2011 Russian legislative election results) and continued into 2012 and 2013. The protests were motivated by claims by Russian and foreign journalists, political activists and members of the public that the election process was flawed.[15] The Central Election Commission of Russia stated that only 11.5% of official reports of fraud could be confirmed as true.

Revolutions sure became popular all over the planet (and by planet I mean Africa, the Middle East, and Asia) all at once. Yep. They caught the Democracy Virus! They want FREEDOM! They want to be able to leave their countries...uhm, don't we get a lot of Chinese tourists over in North America? Strange. But isn't it a dictatorship that...you know what, never mind. FREEDOM!
Now if I'm right and they're using the internet to manipulate all of us based off of running simulations, it might just put a different spin as to why Russia and China have tried to block the internet into their countries. Just a thought. They wouldn't want their populations being manipulated, would they? Nope.

Beijing has not completely blacked out reporting on the uprising in Egypt. Instead, the Chinese government is funneling coverage of the protests through state-run television and the official Xinhua News Agency. However, the coverage that reaches Chinese citizens focuses primarily on the "lawlessness and anarchy" in Egypt's streets."What they are putting in the foreground is the chaos and the upheaval," Joerg Rudolph, a political scientist at the East Asian Institute of the University of Applied Sciences in Ludwigshafen, told Deutsche Welle. "This way they are showing that it's bad when these kinds of protests happen. We have to preserve stability. It's always the same. Stability has to be preserved and that's always the stability of the ruling elite in the country." Source Here

Oh. China has to preserve the stability of the ruling elite? Gotcha. Sure is a good thing that doesn't happen in North America! Could you imagine having controversial elections, rioting or protests, and then armed soldiers on the street! Thank goodness we have fact checks to save us from fake news!
Here's another strange thing about revolutions. They're all in the eye of the beholder. One man's Revolution is another man's Terrorism. Take Xinjiang and the Uighurs. I'm not saying they don't have re-education camps. They do. China admits it. I will say that I don't know how bad the situation is. But I will also say, middle eastern drones sure do have a lot of collateral damage, don't they? And North America is suddenly starting to get very concerned about domestic terrorism, aren't they? Wait. Isn’t that what China claims to be concerned about in Xinjiang as well? Hmmm. They must be worried about corporations like Apple and Nike being targeted.
Ok. Back on point. Simulations. The internet. Data. Shaping our perception. Molding our behaviors based on a computer program. They input data and then they output information for us to consume. Revolutions? Racial tensions? Apathy. The alarming mimicry online? Yeah. Simulations at work. And guess what? It's going to get worse. Because the more we become connected through the internet of things, the more data they receive, and the more data they receive, the better the simulations become, and the better the simulations become, the more they can exert their influence through programming us with content. It really is becoming very clear why they want 5G rolled out so quickly and why they have such a problem with Huawei, isn't it?
But at least our Surveillance Simulation State is only here for the benefit of Western Society. Right?

Snowden provided journalists at The Intercept with GCHQ documents regarding another secret program "Karma Police", calling itself "the world's biggest" data mining operation, formed to create profiles on every visible Internet user's browsing habits. By 2009 it had stored over 1.1 trillion web browsing sessions, and by 2012 was recording 50 billion sessions per day. The goal of the program, according to the documents, was "either (a) a web browsing profile for every visible user on the internet, or (b) a user profile for every visible website on the internet." *Karma Police was apparently named after the Radiohead song "Karma Police", which includes the lyric "This is what you’ll get when you mess with us". *

So just think. First the EMPLOYEES call us ZOMBIES, and then they use a song title that has the lyrics, THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH US. Charming. And then Bill Gates hands the data to the state. And Bill's old pal Epstien loved to use surveillance to find runaway victims to rape. And these are the guys who are funding scientists and research? Scary thought. And what's scarier? How about all the headlines about what the models are showing in regards to the pandemic. Because a model is simply another word for a simulation. And we have evidence for a massive simulation being run. And we have evidence for the Club of Rome simulation being the basis for our current climate crisis decision policies. And we don't need a simulation to start questioning the motives of people who are funding these operations.
Whistleblowers have warned us. We've listened. Now we have to start making other people listen. Because no matter what, the simulations aren't perfect and they can't account for every possible outcome. And that's what each and everyone us are, another possible outcome.
Go viral. Be an outcome.
More soon. Keep your head up and eyes open. Talk soon.

Under the sea
We travelled for hours under water covering a great distance, in the Nautilus the legendary submarine who had once been piloted by Captain Nemo on his undersea adventures.
The genius Sasquatch had of course made some improvements to the submarine, making it more fit for under water warfare.
These upgrades would come on handy soon…
In the submarine was me the keeper of the Necronomicon
The book of the dead made out of human flesh and written in human blood, the book I had lost and the book we must now recover, Lubna my love the Arabic woman with telekinetic powers, Poseidon king of the sunken city of Atlantis, Sanna the vampiric angel wearing sir Lancelot’s armor, and of course the bigfoot was piloting the submarine.
-You know what bigfoot, we never got your name, what is it? I a sked my hairy apelike friend with feet the size of newborn babies.
-We sasquatches, are not much for names, you can call me Chewie like my favorite Star Wars character.
-Well then, Chewie it is! Me and Lubna said at the same time.
We both joined each other in laughter.
-I was thinking maybe you should let the vampire girl suck some of your blood, you have the mad Arabs blood in you so you can grab the Necronomicon but only you, it would be most useful if Sanna would also gain the ability.
-Excellent idea! King Poseidon liked the idea.
-I concur, as long as the vamp/angel girl don’t mind? Chewie asked.
-Oh, I don’t mind at all, Sanna removed her helmet and began to suck blood from my arm, it felt strange and funny as she drained me, but I was alright. My blood was joined with the blood of Christ that she had already sucked from Jens, the man had aided us in our quest but met with an most unfortunately end at the end of the sharp tip of the spear of destiny, the very same spear that had penetrated his ancestor Jesus Christ.
It was something poetic about it.
-But wait, I wont turn into a vampire now, and wait again maybe you SHOULD turn me into a vampire, maybe the whole team? Having the whole team gaining the skills of vampires could prove useful. I told the girl.
-I honestly don’t know… But I think not, not every vampire can in fact make other vampires, if we could the world would have been overrun with vampires long ago, only vampire overlords… Nosferatu like Van Hellsing was before he died, can in fact make other vampires….
-Oh, the irony the greatest vampire hunter turned into a vampire himself, I wonder how that happened? Poseidon the Atlantean king asked.
-That is one of many things I wish to discuss with that bearded bastard and old fool, Merlin! I proclaimed in anger.
-You and me both buddy, but now its time for action enemy approaching, great white sharks, BIG ones, a snaketopus, and a small army of squid men up ahead.
-What the fuck is a “snaketopus”? I asked bewildered
-Just as it sounds, a giant octopus, with snake arms instead of tentacles and a giant mouth with sharp teeth, it has been terrorizing the deeps and eating many of my people alive.
LET’S KILL THIS FUCKER!
Time for some action
Chewie was piloting the sub and I of course was the shooter,
Rest of the team helped with launching the torpedoes.
First two torpedoes hit the head of two of the ugly snake arms, killing them both, exploding and turning the water red with the blood from the heads and blown of tentacles filling the water… the sharks were hungry and could sense the blood from miles away.
There were hammer headed sharks, saw sharks, tiger striped sharks, grey sharks, but worst of all the great white shark.
They, were all fighting for the blown of tentacle bits, and biting at the snake-topus leftover tentacles still attached
To its hideous body. Some of the sharks fought each other for the leftovers. The great white decided to end the fighting and bit a smaller shark in half.
I aimed at the snaketopuses hideous body/mouth in the middle between its arms, I hit it right in its open ugly mouth and it exploded from the inside out, filling the sea water with its bloods and guts, hideous intestines.
-Great work kid, that shot was one in a million! Chewie, the sasquatch praised my skill full shot.
Wow, that bigfoot REALLY loved star wars , who would have knew?
-But, chewie please tell me you don’t love the Disney movies? I asked him.
-Fuck, Disney, fuck Kathleen Kennedy and fuck marREYsue,
The force was ALWAYS partly female, Princess Leia was a powerful a strong woman way before rey and rose tico.
My man. This Bigfoot was a man of culture. Princess Leia in that golden bikini in jabbas palace was when I learned a woman, can be more interesting than a Nintendo game.
Just a boy becoming a man. But I was not going to ask a fucking big foot about his fapping habits, if bigfoots even did those things, I was not going to find out in the middle of an epic under water battle anyway. I guess some things are better left alone anyway.
-I am summoning my comrades in arms, the great whales.
Poseidon the king of Atlantis. Could of course command sea life with his mind, and I know people give Aqua man a rough time, but there is much more then fish living in the deep.
- The fucking sharks don’t listen to my command! They are all deemed traitors from now on by me, Poseidon king atlantis the sunken city, ruler of the seven seas.
The great whales came, orcas the black and white killer whale you might have seen at sea world, the big blue whales, gray whales with their humps on their backs, narwhal with their long spear like tusks, but most of all the MVP, the big kahuna, the blue whale biggest animal on planet earth.
Its heart is the size of Volkswagen beetle, it must eat four tons of krill each day to live, there were four of them, all hungry with open giant mouths opened and swallowing the army of squid men who opposed us in our quest to R`lyeh the stone prison of great CLUTHULU.
A yellow submarine appeared, it torpedoed one of the blue whales, sharks were fighting and biting each other just to get a taste of the whales sweet, sweet blown of flesh.
Mermaids were cutting sharks and poking their eyes with knives, some of them had underwater spear guns and shoot the sharks straight in the face, killing a few.
Atlanteans riding great sea horses cut the head of hammerhead sharks, and cut some of the smaller sharks in halves, but the great whites proved to big a challenge and some of them bit our men in two, and some were swallowed whole.
Chewie kept our sub out of harms way, and I kept shooting torpedoes, killing many great whites, the rest seemed scared and retreated, it appeared we had the upper hand,
But the yellow submarine was still out there.
Another blue whale was killed in action leaving us with two down and two alive, its giant body was floating dead in the water, massive amount of blood from the dead whale filled the water sending the sharks into a kill frenzy.
Poseidon summoned a powerful underwater current; the flow of water pulled the remaining squid men into the sharks kill zone.
Arms, legs and heads were all bitten of leaving torsos with missing body parts floating about.
One of the remaining blue whales opened its giant mouth and swallowed the leftovers of the dead squid men and the alive ones, they tried their hardest to keep swimming away from its giant mouth, but they were unsuccessful.
The mermaids summoned a pack of dolphins, and a group of dolphins can actually kill hammer sharks or tiger sharks by working together. Most of the smaller sharks were killed and the rest fled, leaving only the great whites and the yellow submarine as our opposing forces.
The squid men were all dead. Three great whites remained the were all attacking one great blue whale, the smaller whales had all left, the big blue whale swallowed half of a great white, the other two however ripped it apart…
And that’s when I saw it!
I took a chance shot, the torpedo went flying through the water for a great distance… and it HIT.
I sunk the enemies, damned sub marine. I wondered who was inside for a second, but there was no time to find out.
I blew the face of one of the great whites, only one remained and it proved no match for the great blue whale.
The whale sent the shark running… or eeerrrr…. Swimming.
Either way it fucked right of.
We were finally approaching our final destination….
R`lyeh home of great CLUTHULU the eldritch god forever sleeping there, waking him would end the world.
We must stop the bad guys and the cursed book The Necronomicon, The book of the dead back into safe hands again.
CALL OF CLUTHULU
Now we finally arrived at R`lyeh the stone prison/grave where dead CLUTHULU was dormant… dreaming for aeons.
Only a certain page in the Necronomicon hade the instructions of how to wake this Eldritch God, powerful enough to end the entire human race once and for all.
The sound of drums, flutes and banjos being played told me the ritual had begun. The air was filled with smoke, and what smelled like burned flesh, sacrifices of beautiful virgins’ girls of different ethnicities no doubt, one white skin like milk and hair like honey… Scandinavian.
One with luscious red lips and ebony skin.
One Asian with perfect bone structure and hair dark like the night.
And more, Bosnian, Romanian, European, Australian and so on…
All of them perfect beauties, to young to die with smooth skin no man or woman would ever have the pleasure of knowing.
The sight and smell sickened me!
The mysterious Cult of Cthulhu had been busy.
Damned bastards! Delusional mad men all of them.
Thinking they were in touch with god…
But great Cthulhu was no god, and even I could hear his call inside of my head now…
I almost went insane from the sensation of his tentacles reaching into my brain… oh the horror!
But I must resist, Lubna my love was still with me, we had to get her soon back. Had to… must. Get Abdi back.
Get the Necronomicon back. Let Cthulhu sleep, never to wake again. Sanna the vampire/angel was here to with her armor and the Excalibur sword. Chewie was with me holding a teleportation pad and what looked like a light sabre.
King Poseidon was with us too, but he was the only land walker of Atlantis being a half breed, his army was swimming in the waters fighting the deep ones, aided in their battle by great Moby the last of the blue whales.
King Poseidon’s greatest familiar, an animal with a spiritual connection to him, aiding him in his use of magic.
The ritual was more then just blood sacrifice the were also a perverse and filthy orgy going on…
I will spare you the nastiest descriptions dear reader.
But the participants were beautiful women of all races and ethnicities, men wearing dark red robes with face masks made of the bones from dead animals, squids, goats head, giant lizards and snakes. Trolls and giants even a cyclops with red skin and one big eye watching the action.
In the middle of all this was one of those demons with a living beard made out of snakes, he was holding hands with the reptilian woman who hade stolen the book of the dead from me. And she in turn held a knife to the throat of Abdi,
The young had the blood of the mad Arab Abdul Al-alhazared in him, same as myself and therefore could hold the book without it biting him.
Chewie the super intelligent sasquatch was working on the teleportation device, it would create a portal that would let an army of sasquatches come to our aid….
But fuck it was loud…
It made beeping sounds….
Beep…beep…beep…
And the cyclops turned its giant eyes to us, the eye turned bright red with hatred.
We had been spotted!
It was time for war.
Time to end this once and for all.
THE BIG FAT KILL
I dual wielded two p90s emptying out two 50 round clips of
Bullets into the enemy horde, shooting of their dicks, faces, hitting chests and tits spreading death all around me.
Then Lubna threw the grenades bodies exploded, arms, legs, heads and blown of torsos all came flying through the air.
Poseidon summoned a giant wave and it came crashing down sweeping the enemy troops away. First wave wipe out. But more was coming.
Sanna wielded the Excalibur in a two hand grip, holding it over her head, making it charge up with sun light and then swung it down creating a great wave of energy splitting the enemis bodies into two halves like when Darth Maul feel to his death, leaving only the groin and legs left standing.
Second wave defeated.
But the third one was upon us. Poseidon struck a troll in its ugly face with his mighty golden trident, the troll’s skull and eyes were penetrated, killing it in an instant. But now he struggled to get it loose, it was stuck in the enemy’s dead flesh. He quickly grabbed a knife trying to hack the head of the troll’s neck. He was not fast enough another troll gave him a punch to his ribs and crushed a few of them, he with great agility penetrated the trolls heart with his knife.
But one arrow from a crossbow wielding cult member hit his right shoulder, making him bleed blue blood onto the stone ground.
At least we knew he was not a reptilian shape shifter.
Lubna blew the face of one troll with her doublebarreled shotgun she was now wielding, and then quickly shot the fourth and last troll, ending its disgusting and foul stinking life. There were no more trolls. But plenty of humans led by a cyclops.
One single well aimed shot from my 357.MAGNUM revolver blinded the cyclops making it stampede its own troops to death. A killed the next five men with straight head and throat shots but now I was out of ammo. And the enemy kept coming! Sanna the angel had no time to recharge her magic sword she was in the middle of the enemy horde slicing down opponents left and right. One of the cult member lit her left wing on fire with a torch.
A lone crossbow arrow landed between king Poseidon’s eyes ending his life once and for all.
I pistol whipped one cult member, a naked female covered in blood, straight in her pretty face, knocking her teeth out.
Lubna levitated a rock in her smash and then kept smashing it into the naked woman’s face until there was not much left of it, just a red colored mess.
And then! Chewie lit his laser sword and began cutting heads of , reinforcements of sasquatch-es coming through the portal.
Chewie the bigfoot, led the charge.
-Forward my hairy friends, forward, kill the snake bearded man or demon, whatever he is we must get to book back.
CLUTHULU WAKES
-Come on you apes; you want to live forever? The silver backed sasquatch commanded his troops. He was the biggest one almost twice the size of a regular sasquatch, who were all just a bit taller than a big man. This thing was MASSIVE and had dark fur, contrasting with the rest of the packs brown fur. His one eye was bright red and the other one had been blinded by a cut, and he gritted his sharp teeth. He was ready for the slaughter. He commanded a pack of twenty sasquatches including himself and chewie,
They absolutely annihilated the enemy troops. Arms, and legs were ripped off, bones cracked, heads smashed, hearts ripped out and eaten while they were still beating. The sasquatches were fierce and relentless in their assault.
It was over very quickly, leaving a battlefield full of blood and enemy corpses scattered everywhere along with their body parts and smashed out brains and ripped out guts.
We only lost five sasquatches in the assault with fifteen still standing, including Chewie and the leader of the pack Scarface they called him. He had a big scar across his face,
and his right eye, he only needed one eye to be a murder machine though.
Now we only had the reptilian shape shifter and the snake bearded demon left the were standing in between two caves, I quickly ended the life of the reptilian with a magazine of straight head shots from my automatic pistol, leaving nothing left of it but exploded brains. Abdi the young Arab boy/demon made his move, now free from the demons grasp he threw the Necronomicon into the burning fires where a young virgin had been sacrificed. The book screamed in pain.
But the snake beard triumphant hold up a page from the book it had previously ripped out. He did not need to tell me it was the only paged he needed. He began chanting in a language unknown to man. Out from the caves came two monsters, from the left was the snake like head and body of a basilisk and from the other on the right side, appeared a monster that belonged in the secretive caves of Mexico.
It was huge and long, formed like a centipede, and its giant mouth was the size of a cave opening, these cave dwellers usually was laying waiting for its prey inside of caves luring their unknowing victims into its foul mouth, pretending its ginormous, foul mouth was a cave opening, compulsion would cause it victims to move inside and come back, the simply could not stay away from its call.
The eyes of the basilisk made five sasquatches into stone statues with its monstrous gaze. It moved its disgusting yellow eyes towards Lubna …
But the woman was quick in thought and movement both,
She had a make up mirror and showed the basilisk its monstrous face in the mirror, it turned to stone when it saw its own ugly face.
The rest of the big hairy apes walked straight into the mouth of the other monstrous creature; it was just like in that story told by that mad man… Night nator!
The sasquatches knew they were marching to their own doom, but they simply could not stay away. The compulsion was too strong. Only chewie and Scarface remained alive now. Chewie was striking at the monster’s tail, but his laser sword got overheated and exploded in his hand. His right hand was blown of, and now he was punching the monster with his remaining, furry left paw made into a fist.
Sanna cut the monster in half with legendary sword Excalibur, out of it cut of body dead sasquatches came spilling out, some was skeletal some were half digested, it was a disgusting sight and it made me puke. Now Scarface was walking into its mouth, I could see into its open mouth and saw that it had many hideous eyes inside… Scarface heard the call and his compulsion appeared to be driving him inside the monster’s mouth. It swallowed him…
And after a few seconds its exploded from the inside.
Scarface most have sacrificed himself and exploded a grenade. Only a disgusting mess was left of the monster now.
Abdi had transformed into his demon form and attacked the Snake bearded creature, what the fuck was this thing!?
Abdi had picked up a dagger from the ground and cut one of the snakes out of the snake demons face, trimming his beard a little.
Disgusting dark black blood spurted out from the cut of snake on the mans face straight onto Abdi`s body, the boy screamed in pain!
It appeared that the blood was like acid, it melted holes in the boy’s skin. He stomped the cut of snake head on the ground to death, it spurted into an explosion of blood, melting the boys foot.
The rest of us was in a trance like state… hearing the Call of Cthulhu and could not intervene. Abdi head butted the snake bearded demon putting his demon horn straight into the right eye socket of the snake demon, it had yellow insectoid eyes meaning each of its eyes consisted of thousand of smaller eyes like an insect. Now one of those eyes were blinded. The dark black blood melted Abdi’s horn and the snakes in the beard all bit the boys face filling him with venom, the boy went for the throated and cut it, acid blood spurted into the boy’s face starting to melt it of showing the boys skull under his flesh. The snake bearded demon laughed, rubbing a finger with his blood on the page of the Necronomicon it died with a smile on its face, and the boy Abdi died screaming in pain and then…
great Cthulhu woke up from his eternal dead slumber.
ENDGAME
Great Cthulhu awakens from his eternal slumber, he was the most enormous being I had ever seen, standing taller than a tower like empire state, its monstrous belly the size of a mountain its tentacled beard had tentacles even longer than the great kraken, longer than the anaconda snakes living in Africa`s jungle.
It was clear to me as soon as this being woke his sleeping brothers, they would lay waste to humanity in no time.
Cthulhu grabbed the great blue whale Moby in its right hand and formed a fist smashing the great whale to pieces. Another terror from the deep rose.
KAIJU! The great lizard monsters. This monster was the Reptilians back up plan, they thought this Godzilla-like being could stand a chance against great Cthulhu. It was a head shorter than the squid bearded monster and it bit Cthulhu straight in its neck. Cthulhu began to drip dark red blood from its wound filling the ocean underneath it.
Maybe the Illuminati was on to something, when the nuke plan had backfired on them, maybe this giant reptilian would be able to stand toe to toe against great CTULHU.
But I had a very bad feeling about this. If I had to place a bet on this clash of the titans I would wager on the squid-god.
Cthulhu placed its hands on the great reptilian’s face and stuck its hideous thumbs straight into the yellow eyes of the oversized lizard monster. The great KAIJU roared in pain.
Cthulhu began to strangle to kaiju monster by wrapping its eldritch tentacled beard against the reptile’s windpipe trying to suffocate the monster. The reptile hit the eldritch god with a haymaker into its great belly and Cthulhu retaliated with an uppercut to the reptile’s jaw, making the lizard bite its own tongue of.
The clash of the giant monsters began to split R`lyeh into two pieces, their blows were so powerful that they caused a great cataclysm.
A giant snake from Yig was summoned by the Kaiju it appeard to be its familiar. A monster bound to it that gave it spiritual strength, now it came to aid great kaiju in this battle for life or death for all humans living on this planet.
The snake wrapped itself around Cthulhu’s throat and began to suffocate the monster like a boa constrictor.
Maybe we could win this after all.
Out from the dead carcass of the cave monster a hideous cocoon was birthed and out of that cocoon an even more hideous sight was spawned… Nyarlohotep the tentacled god we had defeat in the battle for Excalibur what seemed like a very long time ago when so many of our friends where still alive, we lost so many lives among the way. And now this abomination was back.
-I come in peace humans! I am on your side. If Cthulhu destroys all humans, there will be no one left for me to torture! I am a malignant god, like a bad kid with a magnifying glass, burning ants. And all of humanity are like ants to me. And you did surely not think you could defeat me so easily?
What the tentacled headed monster said rang true to my ears. He was on our side after all. And yes, defeating him HAD seemed too easy.
Cthulhu grabbed the snake of Yig and ripped it into two halves, it died in an instant. And then he grabbed the bottom and top jaws of the reptile’s face and began to rip it apart… after some struggling, he was victorious. The great kaiju died a most painful death.
-Human grab the book of the dead, you know what you MUST do if I am not successful in calming great Cthulhu.
The eldritch abomination Nyarlohotep spoke before trying to communicate with the world ending squid god.
I grabbed the book from the flames. I could only pray Nyarlohotep to be successful or I would have to pay the ultimate price…
Great Cthulhu swatted Nyarlohotep like a fly.
-Do it! No mother should live longer than their child anyway! Lubna commanded me.
I grabbed the Necronomicon and a dagger and stabbed my beloved straight in her heart.
Blood magic, I had to pay in blood to the demon to grant my wish. The goat headed demon Baphomet appeared in front of me.
-Your wish will be granted human! For the cost of her soul and yours both, two lovers burning in hell eternally tormented together.
-At least we will be together. I spoke.
-As you wish! The demon grabbed Lubnas dead body and ripped it apart, blood spraying everywhere and he sucked the soul out of her. Then he began binding Cthulhu to his will… after some struggling the eldritch god began to go to sleep, like a hideous, monstrous baby.
Me, Sanna the angel and chewie the big foot all went to the submarine Nautilus and went back to the sunken city of Atlantis. When we where there I said goodbye to my friends and alone walked into the portal to the house that does not exist. I remain here into the end of my days, no evil can enter this house.
I am the keeper of the Necronomicon and I will keep the book of the dead out of evil hands forever.
THE END.

NEW INFO 5 Results from share redemption are posted. Less than .2% redeemed. Very bullish as investors are showing extreme confidence in the future of PLBY.
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/playboy-mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-120000721.html
NEW INFO 4 Definitive Agreement to purchase 100% of Lovers brand stores announced 2/1.
https://www.streetinsider.com/Corporate+News/Playboy+%28MCAC%29+Confirms+Deal+to+Acquire+Lovers/17892359.html
NEW INFO 3 I bought more on the dip today. 5081 total. Price rose AH to $12.38 (2.15%)
NEW INFO 2 Here is the full webinar.
https://icrinc.zoom.us/rec/play/9GWKdmOYumjWfZuufW3QXpe_FW_g--qeNbg6PnTjTMbnNTgLmCbWjeRFpQga1iPc-elpGap8dnDv8Zww.yD7DjUwuPmapeEdP?continueMode=true&tk=lEYc4F_FkKlgsmCIs6w0gtGHT2kbgVGbUju3cIRBSjk.DQIAAAAV8NK49xZWdldRM2xNSFNQcTBmcE00UzM3bXh3AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA&uuid=WN_GKWqbHkeSyuWetJmLFkj4g&_x_zm_rtaid=kR45-uuqRE-L65AxLjpbQw.1611967079119.2c054e3d3f8d8e63339273d9175939ed&_x_zm_rhtaid=866
NEW INFO 1 Live merger webinar with PLBY and MCAC on Friday January 29, 2021 at 12:00 NOON EST link below
https://mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/press-release-details/2021/Playboy-Enterprises-Inc.-and-Mountain-Crest-Acquisition-Corp-Participate-in-SPACInsider-ICR-Webinar-on-January-29th-at-12pm-ET/default.aspx
Playboy going public: Porn, Gambling, and Cannabis
!!!WARNING READING AHEAD!!! TL;DR at the end. It will take some time to sort through all the links and read/watch everything, but you should.
In the next couple weeks, Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp is taking Playboy public. The existing ticker MCAC will become PLBY. Special purpose acquisition companies have taken private companies public in recent months with great success. I believe this will be no exception. Notably, Playboy is profitable and has skyrocketing revenue going into a transformational growth phase.
Porn - First and foremost, let's talk about porn. I know what you guys are thinking. “Porno mags are dead. Why would I want to invest in something like that? I can get porn for free online.” Guess what? You are absolutely right. And that’s exactly why Playboy doesn’t do that anymore. That’s right, they eliminated their print division. And yet they somehow STILL make money from porn that people (see: boomers) pay for on their website through PlayboyTV, Playboy Plus, and iPlayboy. Here’s the thing: Playboy has international, multi-generational name recognition from porn. They have content available in 180 countries. It will be the only publicly traded adult entertainment (porn) company. But that is not where this company is going. It will help support them along the way. You can see every Playboy magazine through iPlayboy if you’re interested. NSFW links below:
https://www.playboy.com/
https://www.playboytv.com/
https://www.playboyplus.com/
https://www.iplayboy.com/
Gambling - Some of you might recognize the Playboy brand from gambling trips to places like Las Vegas, Atlantic City, Cancun, London or Macau. They’ve been in the gambling biz for decades through their casinos, clubs, and licensed gaming products. They see the writing on the wall. COVID is accelerating the transition to digital, application based GAMBLING. That’s right. What we are doing on Robinhood with risky options is gambling, and the only reason regulators might give a shit anymore is because we are making too much money. There may be some restrictions put in place, but gambling from your phone on your couch is not going anywhere. More and more states are allowing things like Draftkings, poker, state ‘lottery” apps, hell - even political betting. Michigan and Virginia just ok’d gambling apps. They won’t be the last. This is all from your couch and any 18 year old with a cracked iphone can access it. Wouldn’t it be cool if Playboy was going to do something like that? They’re already working on it. As per CEO Ben Kohn who we will get to later, “...the company’s casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth.” Honestly, I stopped researching Scientific Games' sports betting segment when I saw the word ‘omni-channel’. That told me all I needed to know about it’s success.
“Our SG Sports™ platform is an enhanced, omni-channel solution for online, self-service and retail fixed odds sports betting – from soccer to tennis, basketball, football, baseball, hockey, motor sports, racing and more.”
https://www.scientificgames.com/
https://www.microgaming.co.uk/
“This latter segment has become increasingly enticing for Playboy, and it said last week that it is considering new tie-ups that could include gaming operators like PointsBet and 888Holdings.”
https://calvinayre.com/2020/10/05/business/playboys-gaming-ops-could-get-a-boost-from-spac-purchase/
As per their SEC filing:
“Significant consumer engagement and spend with Playboy-branded gaming properties around the world, including with leading partners such as Microgaming, Scientific Games, and Caesar’s Entertainment, steers our investment in digital gaming, sports betting and other digital offerings to further support our commercial strategy to expand consumer spend with minimal marginal cost, and gain consumer data to inform go-to-market plans across categories.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tMDAA1
They are expanding into more areas of gaming/gambling, working with international players in the digital gaming/gambling arena, and a Playboy sportsbook is on the horizon.
https://www.playboy.com/read/the-pleasure-of-playing-with-yourself-mobile-gaming-in-the-covid-era
Cannabis - If you’ve ever read through a Playboy magazine, you know they’ve had a positive relationship with cannabis for many years. As of September 2020, Playboy has made a major shift into the cannabis space. Too good to be true you say? Check their website. Playboy currently sells a range of CBD products. This is a good sign. Federal hemp products, which these most likely are, can be mailed across state lines and most importantly for a company like Playboy, can operate through a traditional banking institution. CBD products are usually the first step towards the cannabis space for large companies. Playboy didn’t make these products themselves meaning they are working with a processor in the cannabis industry. Another good sign for future expansion. What else do they have for sale? Pipes, grinders, ashtrays, rolling trays, joint holders. Hmm. Ok. So it looks like they want to sell some shit. They probably don’t have an active interest in cannabis right? Think again:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/09/24/playboy-gets-serious-about-cannabis-law-reform-advocacy-with-new-partnership-grants/?sh=62f044a65cea
“Taking yet another step into the cannabis space, Playboy will be announcing later on Thursday (September, 2020) that it is launching a cannabis law reform and advocacy campaign in partnership with National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), Last Prisoner Project, Marijuana Policy Project, the Veterans Cannabis Project, and the Eaze Momentum Program.”
“According to information procured exclusively, the three-pronged campaign will focus on calling for federal legalization. The program also includes the creation of a mentorship plan, through which the Playboy Foundation will support entrepreneurs from groups that are underrepresented in the industry.” Remember that CEO Kohn from earlier? He wrote this recently:
https://medium.com/naked-open-letters-from-playboy/congress-must-pass-the-more-act-c867c35239ae
Seems like he really wants weed to be legal? Hmm wonder why? The writing's on the wall my friends. Playboy wants into the cannabis industry, they are making steps towards this end, and we have favorable conditions for legislative progress.
Don’t think branding your own cannabis line is profitable or worthwhile? Tell me why these 41 celebrity millionaires and billionaires are dummies. I’ll wait.
https://www.celebstoner.com/news/celebstoner-news/2019/07/12/top-celebrity-cannabis-brands/
Confirmation: I hear you. “This all seems pretty speculative. It would be wildly profitable if they pull this shift off. But how do we really know?” Watch this whole video:
https://finance.yahoo.com/video/playboy-ceo-telling-story-female-154907068.html
Man - this interview just gets my juices flowing. And highlights one of my favorite reasons for this play. They have so many different business avenues from which a catalyst could appear. I think paying attention, holding shares, and options on these staggered announcements over the next year is the way I am going to go about it. "There's definitely been a shift to direct-to-consumer," he (Kohn) said. "About 50 percent of our revenue today is direct-to-consumer, and that will continue to grow going forward.” “Kohn touted Playboy's portfolio of both digital and consumer products, with casino-style gaming, in particular, serving a crucial role under the company's new business model. Playboy also has its sights on the emerging cannabis market, from CBD products to marijuana products geared toward sexual health and pleasure.” "If THC does become legal in the United States, we have developed certain strains to enhance your sex life that we will launch," Kohn said. https://cheddar.com/media/playboy-goes-public-health-gaming-lifestyle-focus Oh? The CEO actually said it? Ok then. “We have developed certain strains…” They’re already working with growers on strains and genetics? Ok. There are several legal cannabis markets for those products right now, international and stateside. I expect Playboy licensed hemp and THC pre-rolls by EOY. Something like this: https://www.etsy.com/listing/842996758/10-playboy-pre-roll-tubes-limited?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=pre+roll+playboy&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&organic_search_click=1 Maintaining cannabis operations can be costly and a regulatory headache. Playboy’s licensing strategy allows them to pick successful, established partners and sidestep traditional barriers to entry. You know what I like about these new markets? They’re expanding. Worldwide. And they are going to be a bigger deal than they already are with or without Playboy. Who thinks weed and gambling are going away? Too many people like that stuff. These are easy markets. And Playboy is early enough to carve out their spot in each. Fuck it, read this too: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jimosman/2020/10/20/playboy-could-be-the-king-of-spacs-here-are-three-picks/?sh=2e13dcaa3e05
Numbers: You want numbers? I got numbers. As per the company’s most recent SEC filing:
“For the year ended December 31, 2019, and the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s historical consolidated revenue was $78.1 million and $101.3 million, respectively, historical consolidated net income (loss) was $(23.6) million and $(4.8) million, respectively, and Adjusted EBITDA was $13.1 million and $21.8 million, respectively.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Licensing segment contributed $44.2 million in revenue and $31.1 million in net income.”
“In the ninth months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Direct-to-Consumer segment contributed $40.2 million in revenue and net income of $0.1 million.”
“In the nine months ended September 30, 2020, Playboy’s Digital Subscriptions and Content segment contributed $15.4 million in revenue and net income of $7.4 million.”
They are profitable across all three of their current business segments.
“Playboy’s return to the public markets presents a transformed, streamlined and high-growth business. The Company has over $400 million in cash flows contracted through 2029, sexual wellness products available for sale online and in over 10,000 major retail stores in the US, and a growing variety of clothing and branded lifestyle and digital gaming products.”
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
Growth: Playboy has massive growth in China and massive growth potential in India. “In China, where Playboy has spent more than 25 years building its business, our licensees have an enormous footprint of nearly 2,500 brick and mortar stores and 1,000 ecommerce stores selling high quality, Playboy-branded men’s casual wear, shoes/footwear, sleepwear, swimwear, formal suits, leather & non-leather goods, sweaters, active wear, and accessories. We have achieved significant growth in China licensing revenues over the past several years in partnership with strong licensees and high-quality manufacturers, and we are planning for increased growth through updates to our men’s fashion lines and expansion into adjacent categories in men’s skincare and grooming, sexual wellness, and women’s fashion, a category where recent launches have been well received.” The men’s market in China is about the same size as the entire population of the United States and European Union combined. Playboy is a leading brand in this market. They are expanding into the women’s market too. Did you know CBD toothpaste is huge in China? China loves CBD products and has hemp fields that dwarf those in the US. If Playboy expands their CBD line China it will be huge. Did you know the gambling money in Macau absolutely puts Las Vegas to shame? Technically, it's illegal on the mainland, but in reality, there is a lot of gambling going on in China. https://www.forbes.com/sites/javierhasse/2020/10/19/magic-johnson-and-uncle-buds-cbd-brand-enter-china-via-tmall-partnership/?sh=271776ca411e “In India, Playboy today has a presence through select apparel licensees and hospitality establishments. Consumer research suggests significant growth opportunities in the territory with Playboy’s brand and categories of focus.” “Playboy Enterprises has announced the expansion of its global consumer products business into India as part of a partnership with Jay Jay Iconic Brands, a leading fashion and lifestyle Company in India.” “The Indian market today is dominated by consumers under the age of 35, who represent more than 65 percent of the country’s total population and are driving India’s significant online shopping growth. The Playboy brand’s core values of playfulness and exploration resonate strongly with the expressed desires of today’s younger millennial consumers. For us, Playboy was the perfect fit.” “The Playboy international portfolio has been flourishing for more than 25 years in several South Asian markets such as China and Japan. In particular, it has strategically targeted the millennial and gen-Z audiences across categories such as apparel, footwear, home textiles, eyewear and watches.” https://www.licenseglobal.com/industry-news/playboy-expands-global-footprint-india It looks like they gave COVID the heisman in terms of net damage sustained: “Although Playboy has not suffered any material adverse consequences to date from the COVID-19 pandemic, the business has been impacted both negatively and positively. The remote working and stay-at-home orders resulted in the closure of the London Playboy Club and retail stores of Playboy’s licensees, decreasing licensing revenues in the second quarter, as well as causing supply chain disruption and less efficient product development thereby slowing the launch of new products. However, these negative impacts were offset by an increase in Yandy’s direct-to-consumer sales, which have benefited in part from overall increases in online retail sales so far during the pandemic.” Looks like the positives are long term (Yandy acquisition) and the negatives are temporary (stay-at-home orders).
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921006093/tm213766-1_defa14a.htm
This speaks to their ability to maintain a financially solvent company throughout the transition phase to the aforementioned areas. They’d say some fancy shit like “expanded business model to encompass four key revenue streams: Sexual Wellness, Style & Apparel, Gaming & Lifestyle, and Beauty & Grooming.” I hear “we’re just biding our time with these trinkets until those dollar dollar bill y’all markets are fully up and running.” But the truth is these existing revenue streams are profitable, scalable, and rapidly expanding Playboy’s e-commerce segment around the world.
"Even in the face of COVID this year, we've been able to grow EBITDA over 100 percent and revenue over 68 percent, and I expect that to accelerate going into 2021," he said. “Playboy is accelerating its growth in company-owned and branded consumer products in attractive and expanding markets in which it has a proven history of brand affinity and consumer spend.”
Also in the SEC filing, the Time Frame:
“As we detailed in the definitive proxy statement, the SPAC stockholder meeting to vote on the transaction has been set for February 9th, and, subject to stockholder approval and satisfaction of the other closing conditions, we expect to complete the merger and begin trading on NASDAQ under ticker PLBY shortly thereafter,” concluded Kohn.
The Players: Suhail “The Whale” Rizvi (HMFIC), Ben “The Bridge” Kohn (CEO), “lil” Suying Liu & “Big” Dong Liu (Young-gun China gang). I encourage you to look these folks up. The real OG here is Suhail Rizvi. He’s from India originally and Chairman of the Board for the new PLBY company. He was an early investor in Twitter, Square, Facebook and others. His firm, Rizvi Traverse, currently invests in Instacart, Pinterest, Snapchat, Playboy, and SpaceX. Maybe you’ve heard of them. “Rizvi, who owns a sprawling three-home compound in Greenwich, Connecticut, and a 1.65-acre estate in Palm Beach, Florida, near Bill Gates and Michael Bloomberg, moved to Iowa Falls when he was five. His father was a professor of psychology at Iowa. Along with his older brother Ashraf, a hedge fund manager, Rizvi graduated from Wharton business school.” “Suhail Rizvi: the 47-year-old 'unsocial' social media baron: When Twitter goes public in the coming weeks (2013), one of the biggest winners will be a 47-year-old financier who guards his secrecy so zealously that he employs a person to take down his Wikipedia entry and scrub his photos from the internet. In IPO, Twitter seeks to be 'anti-FB'” “Prince Alwaleed bin Talal of Saudi Arabia looks like a big Twitter winner. So do the moneyed clients of Jamie Dimon. But as you’ve-got-to-be-joking wealth washed over Twitter on Thursday — a company that didn’t exist eight years ago was worth $31.7 billion after its first day on the stock market — the non-boldface name of the moment is Suhail R. Rizvi. Mr. Rizvi, 47, runs a private investment company that is the largest outside investor in Twitter with a 15.6 percent stake worth $3.8 billion at the end of trading on Thursday (November, 2013). Using a web of connections in the tech industry and in finance, as well as a hearty dose of good timing, he brought many prominent names in at the ground floor, including the Saudi prince and some of JPMorgan’s wealthiest clients.” https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/technology/at-twitter-working-behind-the-scenes-toward-a-billion-dollar-payday.html Y’all like that Arab money? How about a dude that can call up Saudi Princes and convince them to spend? Funniest shit about I read about him: “Rizvi was able to buy only $100 million in Facebook shortly before its IPO, thus limiting his returns, according to people with knowledge of the matter.” Poor guy :(
He should be fine with the 16 million PLBY shares he's going to have though :)
Shuhail also has experience in the entertainment industry. He’s invested in companies like SESAC, ICM, and Summit Entertainment. He’s got Hollywood connections to blast this stuff post-merger. And he’s at least partially responsible for that whole Twilight thing. I’m team Edward btw.
I really like what Suhail has done so far. He’s lurked in the shadows while Kohn is consolidating the company, trimming the fat, making Playboy profitable, and aiming the ship at modern growing markets.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-twitter-ipo-rizvi-insight/insight-little-known-hollywood-investor-poised-to-score-with-twitter-ipo-idUSBRE9920VW20131003
Ben “The Bridge” Kohn is an interesting guy. He’s the connection between Rizvi Traverse and Playboy. He’s both CEO of Playboy and was previously Managing Partner at Rizvi Traverse. Ben seems to be the voice of the Playboy-Rizvi partnership, which makes sense with Suhail’s privacy concerns. Kohn said this:
“Today is a very big day for all of us at Playboy and for all our partners globally. I stepped into the CEO role at Playboy in 2017 because I saw the biggest opportunity of my career. Playboy is a brand and platform that could not be replicated today. It has massive global reach, with more than $3B of global consumer spend and products sold in over 180 countries. Our mission – to create a culture where all people can pursue pleasure – is rooted in our 67-year history and creates a clear focus for our business and role we play in people’s lives, providing them with the products, services and experiences that create a lifestyle of pleasure. We are taking this step into the public markets because the committed capital will enable us to accelerate our product development and go-to-market strategies and to more rapidly build our direct to consumer capabilities,” said Ben Kohn, CEO of Playboy.
“Playboy today is a highly profitable commerce business with a total addressable market projected in the trillions of dollars,” Mr. Kohn continued, “We are actively selling into the Sexual Wellness consumer category, projected to be approximately $400 billion in size by 2024, where our recently launched intimacy products have rolled out to more than 10,000 stores at major US retailers in the United States. Combined with our owned & operated ecommerce Sexual Wellness initiatives, the category will contribute more than 40% of our revenue this year. In our Apparel and Beauty categories, our collaborations with high-end fashion brands including Missguided and PacSun are projected to achieve over $50M in retail sales across the US and UK this year, our leading men’s apparel lines in China expanded to nearly 2500 brick and mortar stores and almost 1000 digital stores, and our new men’s and women’s fragrance line recently launched in Europe. In Gaming, our casino-style digital gaming products with Scientific Games and Microgaming continue to see significant global growth. Our product strategy is informed by years of consumer data as we actively expand from a purely licensing model into owning and operating key high-growth product lines focused on driving profitability and consumer lifetime value. We are thrilled about the future of Playboy. Our foundation has been set to drive further growth and margin, and with the committed capital from this transaction and our more than $180M in NOLs, we will take advantage of the opportunity in front of us, building to our goal of $100M of adjusted EBITDA in 2025.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
Also, according to their Form 4s, “Big” Dong Liu and “lil” Suying Liu just loaded up with shares last week. These guys are brothers and seem like the Chinese market connection. They are only 32 & 35 years old. I don’t even know what that means, but it's provocative.
https://www.secform4.com/insider-trading/1832415.htm
https://finance.yahoo.com/news/mountain-crest-acquisition-corp-ii-002600994.html
Y’all like that China money?
“Mr. Liu has been the Chief Financial Officer of Dongguan Zhishang Photoelectric Technology Co., Ltd., a regional designer, manufacturer and distributor of LED lights serving commercial customers throughout Southern China since November 2016, at which time he led a syndicate of investments into the firm. Mr. Liu has since overseen the financials of Dongguan Zhishang as well as provided strategic guidance to its board of directors, advising on operational efficiency and cash flow performance. From March 2010 to October 2016, Mr. Liu was the Head of Finance at Feidiao Electrical Group Co., Ltd., a leading Chinese manufacturer of electrical outlets headquartered in Shanghai and with businesses in the greater China region as well as Europe.”
Dr. Suying Liu, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Mountain Crest Acquisition Corp., commented, “Playboy is a unique and compelling investment opportunity, with one of the world’s largest and most recognized brands, its proven consumer affinity and spend, and its enormous future growth potential in its four product segments and new and existing geographic regions. I am thrilled to be partnering with Ben and his exceptional team to bring his vision to fruition.”
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20201001005404/en/Playboy-to-Become-a-Public-Company
These guys are good. They have a proven track record of success across multiple industries. Connections and money run deep with all of these guys. I don’t think they’re in the game to lose.
I was going to write a couple more paragraphs about why you should have a look at this but really the best thing you can do is read this SEC filing from a couple days ago. It explains the situation in far better detail. Specifically, look to page 137 and read through their strategy. Also, look at their ownership percentages and compensation plans including the stock options and their prices. The financials look great, revenue is up 90% Q3, and it looks like a bright future.
https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgadata/1803914/000110465921005986/tm2034213-12_defm14a.htm#tSHCF
I’m hesitant to attach this because his position seems short term, but I’m going to with a warning because he does hit on some good points (two are below his link) and he’s got a sizable position in this thing (500k+ on margin, I think). I don’t know this guy but he did look at the same publicly available info and make roughly the same prediction, albeit without the in depth gambling or cannabis mention. You can also search reddit for ‘MCAC’ and very few relevant results come up and none of them even come close to really looking at this thing.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gOvAd6lebs452hFlWWbxVjQ3VMsjGBkbJeXRwDwIJfM/edit?usp=sharing
“Also, before you people start making claims that Playboy is a “boomer” company, STOP RIGHT THERE. This is not a good argument. Simply put. The only thing that matters is Playboy’s name recognition, not their archaic business model which doesn’t even exist anymore as they have completely repurposed their business.”
“Imagine not buying $MCAC at a 400M valuation lol. Streetwear department is worth 1B alone imo.”
Considering the ridiculous Chinese growth as a lifestyle brand, he’s not wrong.
Current Cultural Significance and Meme Value: A year ago I wouldn’t have included this section but the events from the last several weeks (even going back to tsla) have proven that a company’s ability to meme and/or gain social network popularity can have an effect. Tik-tok, Snapchat, Twitch, Reddit, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter. They all have Playboy stuff on them. Kids in middle and highschool know what Playboy is but will likely never see or touch one of the magazines in person. They’ll have a Playboy hoodie though. Crazy huh? A lot like GME, PLBY would hugely benefit from meme-value stock interest to drive engagement towards their new business model while also building strategic coffers. This interest may not directly and/or significantly move the stock price but can generate significant interest from larger players who will.
Bull Case: The year is 2025. Playboy is now the world leader pleasure brand. They began by offering Playboy licensed gaming products, including gambling products, direct to consumers through existing names. By 2022, demand has skyrocketed and Playboy has designed and released their own gambling platforms. In 2025, they are also a leading cannabis brand in the United States and Canada with proprietary strains and products geared towards sexual wellness. Cannabis was legalized in the US in 2023 when President Biden got glaucoma but had success with cannabis treatment. He personally pushes for cannabis legalization as he steps out of office after his first term. Playboy has also grown their brand in China and India to multi-billion per year markets. The stock goes up from 11ish to 100ish and everyone makes big gains buying somewhere along the way.
Bear Case: The United States does a complete 180 on marijuana and gambling. President Biden overdoses on marijuana in the Lincoln bedroom when his FDs go tits up and he loses a ton of money in his sports book app after the Fighting Blue Hens narrowly lose the National Championship to Bama. Playboy is unable to expand their cannabis and gambling brands but still does well with their worldwide lifestyle brand. They gain and lose some interest in China and India but the markets are too large to ignore them completely. The stock goes up from 11ish to 13ish and everyone makes 15-20% gains.
TL;DR: Successful technology/e-commerce investment firm took over Playboy to turn it into a porn, online gambling/gaming, sports book, cannabis company, worldwide lifestyle brand that promotes sexual wellness, vetern access, women-ownership, minority-ownership, and “pleasure for all”. Does a successful online team reinventing an antiquated physical copy giant sound familiar? No options yet, shares only for now. $11.38 per share at time of writing. My guess? $20 by the end of February. $50 by EOY. This is not financial advice. I am not qualified to give financial advice. I’m just sayin’ I would personally use a Playboy sports book app while smoking a Playboy strain specific joint and it would be cool if they did that. Do your own research. You’d probably want to start here:
WARNING - POTENTIALLY NSFW - SEXY MODELS AHEAD - no actual nudity though
https://s26.q4cdn.com/895475556/files/doc_presentations/Playboy-Craig-Hallum-Conference-Investor-Presentation-11_17_20-compressed.pdf
Or here:
https://www.mcacquisition.com/investor-relations/default.aspx
Jimmy Chill: “Get into any SPAC at $10 or $11 and you are going to make money.”
STL;DR: Buy MCAC. MCAC > PLBY couple weeks. Rocketship. Moon.
Position: 5000 shares. I will buy short, medium, and long-dated calls once available.

hi.
you're on a rock floating in space.
pretty cool, huh?
some of it's water.
fuck it, actually most of it's water.
i can't even get from here to there without buying a boat.
it's sad.
i'm sad.
i miss you.
how did this happen?
a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere.
when?
never.
makes sense, right?
like i said, it didn't happen.
nothing was never anywhere.
that's why it's been everywhere.
it's been so everywhere you don't need a where.
you don't even need a when.
that's how every it gets.
forget this.
i wanna be something.
go somewhere.
do something.
i want things to change.
i want to invent time and space.
and i know it's possible because everything is here and it probably already happened.
i just don't know when to start.
and that's exactly where it started.
whoah, i paused it.
i think there's a universe now.
what's it made of?
quarks & stuff
ah, that's a thing.
in a place.
don't like it?
try a new place.
at a different time™.
try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger.
and emptier.
but it's not empty yet.
it's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.
great news!
the quarks are now happily married, in groups of three called a proton or a neutron
and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't cause it's still too
HOT
great news!
the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other.
and some of them even doubled up.
great news, the electrons have now joined in
congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space.
but it's getting closer together.
and it's getting closer together.
and it's getting closer toge-
it's a star
new shit just got made!
some stars burn out and die.
bigger stars burn out and die with passion, and make some brand new, way crazier shit.
space dust
which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into
even crazier space dust
so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things.
like this ball of flaming rocks for example.
holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks.
and it kind of made a mess.
which is
now the moon
weather update:
it's raining rocks from outer space.
weather update:
those rocks might have had water inside them, and now there's hot steam in the sky.
weather update:
cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava.
weather update:
it's raining.
severe flooding alert:
the entire world is now an ocean.
volcano alert:
that's land!
there's life in the ocean
what?
something's alive in the ocean
oh cool, like a plant or an animal?
no, a microscopic speck.
it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.
oh yeah, and it can do that.
it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself.
so that's pretty nifty, i would say.
tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?
now you can eat sunlight!
using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food
taste the sun
side effect: now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky's blue.
then the earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.
it's a sponge.
it's a plant.
it's a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.
it's the Cambrian explosion
"wow, that's animals and stuff"
but we're still in the ocean, hey, can we go on land?
no
why?
the sun is a deadly lazer
oh okay.
not anymore, there's a blanket
now the animals can go on land.
come on, animals, let's go on land!
nope, can't walk yet.
and there's no food yet, so i don't care.
ok, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here?
maybe, said some bugs, and fish.
ok, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to
have babies
learn to use an egg.
i was already doing that.
use a stronger egg.
put water in it.
have a baby, on land, in an egg.
water is in the egg.
baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.
works for me.
bye bye ocean
and now everything's huge.
including bugs.
wanna see a map of the land?
sure.
oh fuck, now everything's dead.
just kidding, here are the survivors.
keep your eye on this one because it's about to become the dinosaurs.
here's another map of the land.
yeah, it broke apart, don't worry about it, it does that all the time.
here comes a meteor.
and the dinosaurs are gone
it's mammal time, here come the mammals.
look at those breasts.
now they're gonna dominate the world and one of them just learned how to grab stuff.
and walk.
no, like, walk like that.
and grab stuff at the same time.
and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.
"ouch"
and set things on fire.
"yeouch"
and make crazy sounds with their voice.
"gneurshk"
which can mean different things.
that's a human person
and now they're everywhere.
almost.
ice age
what, you can walk over here?
cool.
not anymore
well i guess we're stuck here now.
let's review.
there's people on the planet.
and they're chasing their food.
fuck it, time to plant some grass.
look at this.
i control the food now.
now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me.
let's all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food.
this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this.
tired of using rocks for everything?
use metal.
it's underground.
better farming was just invented, in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers.
and the animals are helping.
guess what happens next
more food.
and more people who came to buy the food.
now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales.
and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses, and now there's more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come and there's more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there's business, money, writing, laws, power.
Society
coming soon to a dank river valley near you.
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.
why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?
tired of using lame, sad metal?
introducing
Bronze
made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land.
i don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it.
also, guess what?
egypt
meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse.
now we're getting somewhere.
also
china
and did i mention
indus river valley civilization
norte chico
the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it's in the middle of the east.
knock knock, er, clop clop.
it's the people with the horses.
and they made an empire.
and then everyone else copied their horses.
greeks
ah look, it must be the greeks, er, a beta version of the greeks.
let's check in with the indus river valley civilization.
they're gone.
guess who's not gone?
china
new arrivals in india, maybe it's those horse people i was talking about, or their cousins or something
and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff
you could make a religion out of this.
there's the bronze age collapse.
now the phoenicians can get down to business
also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find?
thanks.
look who came back to israel, it's the twelve tribes of israel.
and they believe in God
just 1 though, he's got like a ten step program.
here's some huge heads.
must be the olmecs.
the phoenicians make some colonies.
the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies.
the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.
here comes the assyrian empire.
never mind, it's the babylonian- median-
it's the Persian Empire
"wow, that's big"
ah, the buddha was just enlightened.
who's the buddha?
this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying.
you could make a religion out of this.
oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.
ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.
and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire.
it's a great idea.
he was great.
and now he's dead.
hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.
knock knock, it's chandragupta, he says get the hell out of here.
will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants?
ok thanks, bye
time to conquer all of india
or
most of india
but what about this part?
that's the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings.
who are the tamil kings?
merchants, probably
and they've got spices
who would like to buy the spices?
me, said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.
hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy.
actually, they have three main philosophies.
out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.
let's check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms.
greekification overload!
bye, said the parthians.
bye, said the jews.
hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.
heyyyyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast.
thanks for invading our homeland, said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.
hi, everything's great, said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular.
you could make a religion out of this.
want silk?
now you can buy it from china.
they just made a
brand new road to the world
or you can
get there on water
sick! new trade routes! said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.
hmm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom.
there goes buddhism traveling up the silk road.
i wonder if it'll reach china before it collapses again.
remember the persian empire?
yep, said the persians, making a new one.
axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick.
has anyone populated madagascar yet?
let's do it together.
china is whole again
then it broke again
still can't cross the sahara desert?
try camels.
hell yeah! now we've got business
said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves
hi, i live in the roman empire, and i was wondering
is loving jesus legal yet?
no.
actually, ok, sure, said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his
main rival
don't worry about rome, it won't fall.
it's the golden age of india
there's the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta.
first name chandra.
the first.
guess who's in rome?
barbarians
what's a barbarian?
non-romans, said the romans, being invaded by non-romans.
r.i.p., roman empire, er, actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it's not in rome anymore so let's give it a new name.
the mayans have figured out the stars
oh and here's a huge city, population: everyone
the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe.
great job, göktürks.
how's india?
broken.
how's china?
back together
how's those trading kingdoms?
bigger, and there's more of them
korea has 3 kingdoms.
japan has a kingdom, it's the sunrise kingdom.
deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammed's ear.
so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake.
and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town.
you could make a religion out of this.
and maybe conquer the world as well.
the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope.
plus there's
new kingdoms all over europe
i wonder if there's room for moors.
here's all the wisdom.
in a house.
it's the baghdad house of wisdom.
just in time for the
islamic golden age
let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast, said the swahili on the swahili coast.
remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there?
someone owns that now.
wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?
the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas.
surprise! you're the new roman emperor, said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire.
then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france.
but the northerners, or just norse if you don't have much time, are exploring.
they go north, from the north to the northern north.
and they find some land.
two types of land.
and they name them accordingly.
they also invade some other places, and get called many names, such as vikings.
there's the rus.
the kievan rus.
are they vikings?
i don't think so, said the kievan rus.
ok, fair enough.
the pope is ready to make some more emperors.
of the "roman empire".
the holy roman empire.
it's actually germany but don't worry about it.
new kingdoms.
christianize all the kingdoms
which brand would you like?
mine's better.
mine's better.
mine's better.
time to conquer england, said william.
it's a bird, it's a plane
it's the seljuk turks
aah! said the byzantine empire who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore.
we need help!
they need help, so they call the pope.
hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks?
maybe take back the holy land on the way?
come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.
yes, i do actually want to do that.
let's do a crusade.
crusade
they did many crusades, some of which almost didn't fail.
but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.
goodbye mayans.
hello toltecs
goodbye toltecs.
hello mississippi
look at those mounds.
there's the pueblo.
i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.
guess who's here?
khmer.
where?
here.
and pagan is there.
vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.
china just invented bombs, and typing.
and the mongols just invaded most of the universe.
nice going, Genghis!
i bet that will last a long time.
some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.
is it tonga time?
i think it's tonga time.
i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold.
look at this chad.
means "lake".
there's an empire there.
right in the middle of
Africa
the king of mali is so rich he's going on tour to let everyone know.
wow, that guy's rich, everyone said.
the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not spain.
please remain christian.
we will check in later to see if you're still christian when you least expect.
whoops, half of europe just died.
ming
china's back, yay!
hey khmer, time to share.
new kingdoms here and there.
oh, look who controls all the islands.
it's the mahajapit.
majahapit.
mapajahit.
mahapajit.
mapajahit.
majapahit?
oh, italy's really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics.
it's kinda like a rebirth.
here's a printer.
let's make books.
so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire?
yep, said the ottoman turks.
nice job, ottoman turks.
whoops, you missed a spot.
don't forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.
what? that's bullshit, said portugal, spiceless.
well i guess we'll have to find another way to india
wait! said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack.
if the world is round, let's go this way to india.
nah, don't worry, we already got this, said portugal.
so chris goes to spain.
hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?
no.
please?
no.
please?
no.
please?
ok.
so he sails into the ocean.
and discovers more ocean.
and then discovers the indies.
and japan.
let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.
the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start.
i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent?
the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other.
move over lithuania, here comes moscow.
ivan wants to make russia great again.
move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something.
persia just made persia persian again.
let's make it the other kind of islam.
the one where we thought the first guy should have been the other guy.
hey christians!
do you sin?
now you can buy your way out of hell.
that's bullshit.
this whole thing is bullshit.
that's a scam.
fuck the church.
here's 95 reasons why, said martin luther, in his new book, which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.
you know what would be magnificent, said suleiman, wearing an onion hat?
what if the ottoman empire was really big?
which it is now.
what if russia was big? said ivan, trying not to be terrible.
portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade.
and then that dream was real.
and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway.
damn, said england and france.
we gotta start pillaging some stuff.
then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam.
damn, said amsterdam.
we gotta start pillaging some stuff.
question 1: can you get to india through north america?
no, but at least there's beaver.
question 2: steal the spice trade.
that's not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.
sugar
guess where all the sugar's made?
in brazil.
stolen
and the caribbean.
and it's so god damn profitable you might forget to not do slavery.
the next thing on russia's to-do list is to get bigger.
britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world.
more specifically, ohio.
then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who's boss.
but what about britain and france, did they figure out who's boss?
yes they did.
it's britain.
guess who's broke?
also britain.
so they start taxing the hell out of america.
fuck you, says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it.
and france helps them win, now france is broke.
and britain'll have to send their prisoners to a different continent.
wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?
let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off! said robespierre, cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.
you could make a reli- no, don't.
haiti is staring to like the idea of a revolution.
especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters.
why didn't we think of this before?
wait, who's in charge of france now?
me
said napoleon, trying to take over europe.
luckily, they banished him to an island.
but he came back
luckily, they banished him to another island.
there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.
britain just figured out how to turn steam into power.
so now they can make
many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast
then they invent some trains.
and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.
hey, china! said britain.
buy stuff from us!
nah dude, we already got everything, says china.
so britain tried to get them addicted to opium.
which worked, actually.
but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea.
so britain threw a hissy fit, and made them open up five cities and give them an island.
britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afghanistan.
also, the
sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now
"that's just where he lives"
india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now.
nope, said britain, governing them even harder than before.
technology is about to go crazy
the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad.
it's bad, they decided.
and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.
i know, let's rape africa, said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest.
they never got ethiopia
britain and france are still hungry.
they never got thailand
the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more.
hawaii
cuba
wait, spain controls cuba.
well, blame something on them and go to war!
what should we blame on spain?
let's blame the maine on spain.
so they blame the maine on spain.
now we're in business.
to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.
britain just found oil in the middle east.
it makes cars go
china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government.
europe hasn't had a war since the last war.
so they start world war 1.
look at those guns.
it's gonna be a great war.
so great we won't need a second one.
after it's over, they blame germany.
russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government.
now everyone's paycheck is the same.
communism
in the soviet union
the arabs revolt and britain helps.
now the ottoman empire's gone so we can give the
jewish people a place to live
hopefully the arabs won't mind.
let's cut the cake, said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire.
except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey
and then the saudis conquer arabia.
it just seemed like the right thing to do.
hello?
yes, it's the 1920's calling.
let's get in the car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies.
the economy's great and it'll probably be great forever, just kidding.
germany's back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model.
and he's mad at the jews for existing.
japan is finally conquering the east, and they're so excited they rape nanking way too hard.
they should probably just deny it.
hitler's out of control.
so the international community tackles him and then tries to explain why killing all the jews is a bad idea.
but he kills himself before they could explain it to him.
that's world war 2
bonus round!
pacific showdown.
united states vs. japan.
fight!
finish him
let's unite all the nations and have some
world peace
seems legit.
hi, i'm gandhi, and if britain doesn't get the hell out of india, i'm gonna starve myself in public.
wow, that worked?
bonus, now there's pakistan.
actually two pakistans.
one of them can be bangladesh later.
the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land.
me, they both said at the same time.
let's divide up the land so everyone's happy.
sike, they both get angrier
look out china, there's a new china in china.
what's on the menu?
communism!
no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island.
i wonder which one is the real china?
there's the korean war, korea versus korea.
nobody wins, then it's on pause forever.
let's meet the sponsors.
oh, it's the two global superpowers.
they're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good, and which one is an evil virus of Satan.
and they both have atom bombs.
fight!
wait, no, that would be the end of the world.
let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead.
and make sure we have enough atom bombs.
i'll race you to space.
now let's make some more countries fight themselves.
europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged.
so here's a new map, with new countries.
now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by.
the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad.
they decided it's bad, and the world agrees.
south africa might need another minute to think about it.
let's check the world population.
whoa.
okay.
technology's better too, that might keep happening.
the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.
europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money, except britain, because they don't feel like it.
let's check the mail.
surprise, it's on the computer.
whoops, someone just attacked america.
i bet they'll remember that.
phone call.
surprise, it's in your pocket.
wanna learn everything?
surprise, it's on the computer.
now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket.
whoops, the economy just crashed.
don't worry, the big banks won't fail because they're not supposed to.
surprise!
flying robots.
with bombs.
wanna print a brain?
some people have no friends.
some people have no food.
the globe is warming
and the ocean is full of plastic
let's save the planet! said everybody, not knowing how.
let's invent a thing inventor, said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor.
that's pretty cool.
by the way, where the hell are we?

In terms of humans, the United States Army can easily fit ten pounds of shit into a five pound bag. There is no room to swing a cat in the numerous vehicles I have been subjected to enter. Capacity is the objective, and comfort is meaningless. "We're going to pack you into a cattle car, then pack you into an airplane, and then we are going to pack the sky full of Paratroopers! The old life changed after Assessment and Selection, and I found myself flying "White Tail" (Commercial Air) more often than "Gray Tail (Military). However, flying White Tail is not without issues.
My second deployment to Lebanon was "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles." My initial flight out of Baltimore Washington International (BWI) was canceled without notice. It was time to call the Travel Princess who coordinates all our civilian travel.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
Travel Princess: Hello
Sloppy: Hey Travel Princess. It's Sloppy. My flight out of BWI was canceled.
Travel Princess: That sucks. Need me to book the same flight tomorrow?
Sloppy: No. I have an engagement tomorrow, and I need to fly tonight.
Travel Princess Magic!
Travel Princess: I just found a flight out of Dulles International Airport (IAD).
Sloppy: When do I fly?
Travel Princess: Three hours!
Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My. Life.
Sloppy: Okay. Looks like I will be...
Travel Princess: Having awkward conversations with a Cab Driver!?!
Sloppy: Exactly.
Travel Princess: I have bad news though!
Sloppy: Excellent. What is it?
Travel Princess: I can't get you a window seat. I got you an aisle seat.
Sloppy: So long as I am on the end and not subjected to two strangers.
Travel Princess: Also, you won't be going through London Heathrow. You'll be traveling through Kuwait City International (KWI).
Sloppy: (Frustrated) AWESOME!
That's how it started. Thankfully, my cab driver was more introverted than I and there was zero conversation during the commute to Washington D.C. Much to my surprise, the new-start of my international travels went swimmingly. Unlike BWI, the Transportation Security Authority (TSA) had little interest in the gadgetry in my suitcase.
Minor Rant
Dear Reader, have you ever been told a "Fact" that you did not know, or believe to be true? I am typically that guy for other people, but Troy was that guy for me. He was a former Troop Sergeants Major, and full of absolutely useless knowledge.
Troy: Did you know you cannot hum while holding your nose?
Sloppy: Bullshit!
Pause
Sloppy: Fuck!
​
Troy: Did you know bleach expires?
Sloppy: Bleach does not expire.
Troy: Yeah, actually, it does.
Sloppy: You're a fucking idiot. Bleach does not expire.
Troy: Bet you lunch it does?
Sloppy: Deal
Detailed Internet Calculations (DIC)
Sloppy: Fuck. What do you want for lunch?
Dear Reader, there are also the moments in which someone tells you a "Fact," but there is no way to scientifically prove that it is, in deed, factual. My "Army work"was uniquely different than the typical "Army work." There are times in which I travel with equipment that peaks the interest of a TSA Agent. I have no issues providing a mundane overview, but I don't have the time, or the authorization to provide detailed insight. Thus, Airport Security can quickly become a lethargic process.
Troy: Did you know TSA Agents try to avoid inspecting luggage with sex toys?
Sloppy: What?
Troy: Like if you have a giant dildo in your bag. They won't check it.
Sloppy: How in the hell do you know that?
Troy: My buddy. He is a TSA Agent and said he never checks bags with sex toys.
Sloppy: That does not mean this is indicative of all TSA Agents.
Troy: No. Probably not. I know they never check my bag though.
Sloppy: Crazy Eye Glare!?!
Troy: Yup. I travel with a dildo.
Dear Reader, I am certain TSA would check your bag with your dildo was nestled tightly to an object that screamed, "I'm a blast at parties." Simply writing, Troy's advice is by no means backed by substantiated fact, but TSA has never asked me to explain my unique gadgets, or the dildo in my carry-on baggage.
Rant Complete
I am not enthusiastic about aisle seats. I don't particularly care for strangers. I found my seat near the end of the aircraft, and the four seats to my left were empty. They also remained empty when the Captain announced they would be closing the doors, and we would be departing in thirty-minutes. I thought I had just won the lottery. Then I seen a mother, Crib-Midget, and Mini-Human approaching. There were four seats, and only three humans, but I felt that someone had just kicked my puppy.
Dear Reader, I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Everything has it's place, and I match everything when I dress. I iron and hand my clothes the day before I wear them. I take great pride in my appearance. My OCD-alarm was pinging when I seen them approach. The Mini-Human was likely around ten years old, and carrying the largest drink Starbucks ever made. They forcefully made their way to their seats, and the Mini-Human plopped down next to me. He set his frou-frou drink down on the flimsy tray-table, and then started jostling around.
I take Tylenol PM as soon as I sit down on an international flight. Sleeping is my way of time traveling. I found myself in a dilemma. My body was telling me to close my eyes and visit the sandman, but my brain was forecasting a catastrophe.
Mini-Human Jostling Around
Sloppy, with the reflexes of a cat and speed of a mongoose, catches the drink as it's about to tip.
Mini-Human: Sorry. Thank you.
Sloppy: No problem.
Second Time
My reflexes are starting to fade, but the cup nearly tips off again as he plays video games on a handheld device.
Mini-Human: Sorry.
Sloppy: No problem. Please just watch it though.
TIME TRAVEL (Thirty-Minutes)
I wake to a very cold sensation on my brand new pants. There was chilled coffee, delicious caramel, and whipped cream all over my crotch area. My facial expressions clearly frightened the Mini-Human, but I knew it was an accident. I told him it was okay. However, I was forced to wait until we got to "cruising altitude" before I made my trip to the bathroom. I was forced to sit and just let the frothy goodness embed it's deliciousness into my outfit.
Cruising Altitude and Failed Un-dirty Clothes (FUC) Sloppy returns to slumber.
I don't recall exactly how long I was sleeping, but I was out-to-the-world. I awoke to a stewardess frantically shaking me, and telling me that I need to address an immediate issue.
Stewardess: Sir. Sir. SIR!
Sloppy: (Groggy) Yeah!
Stewardess: Here. You're baby is crying.
Sloppy Brain: Fuck. My kid is crying.
Sloppy: (Groggy) I'm so sorry.
Sloppy is now holding the last thing anyone should trust him with; another human life.
Sloppy Brain: Wait! Wait! Wait! You don't have a kid. Well, you do, but you don't have a baby, or kid on this flight.
Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am!
Stewardess turns!
Sloppy: This is not my baby. I don't have a baby.
Sloppy motions "HERE! TAKE KID NOW" gesture.
Stewardess: I am sorry, but I can't.
Sloppy: What?
Stewardess: I can't take the baby. Where are the parents?
Sloppy looks at empty aisle seats.
Sloppy Brain: Great! Fucking great. You're dream of an "empty aisle" came true, but know you don't know where the mother of this screaming child is.
Dear Reader, I have a baby cradled in my arm like a football, and I don't know where the endzone is, and spiking a football-sized human is not generally a socially acceptable practice. I need to "Heisman" this kid, but had no earthly idea where the mother was, aside from being on the airplane of course. The plane was a great place to start though.
Contrary to what many people would assume, I love the Middle East (ME), and predominately Muslim countries. I love the food, and I love the people. I have a disdain for Muslims whom initiate the lead jellybean exchange with me, but I would have that problem with Christians and Atheists as well. I generally dislike anyone who wishes to expedite my shelf-life by way of supersonic paper-cuts. There are cultural customs that make finding an absentee parent difficult during an international flight, specifically burkas.
The mother was a "ninja," and wore a head-to-toe black burka. I literally didn't know what she looked like. Further complicating my location effort was the fact that she was not alone. There were at least another hundred ladies that shopped at the same Dooey & Burka store.
Stewardess: What was she wearing?
Sloppy: That!
Looks!
Stewardess: (Puzzled) Is that her!?!
Sloppy (Fuck. My. Life Face) NO! She is wearing a black burka. Aside from that, I don't know what she looks like.
Stewardess: My god! This is gonna be challenging.
The stewardess was firm on her stance of not taking the Crib-Midget, but she thankfully assisted during Operation Find Unattended Kid Mother En-route (FUK ME). We, but mostly me, woke up at least thirty people before finding the mother's ass planted in Business Class. I can only imagine what the other ninja ladies thought when I asked them...
Sloppy: Ma'am. Ma'am. Excuse me? Is this your child (Extends human outwards)?
There were a considerable amount of "NO" answers. Worse? Some of the people did not speak English. I wonder what was going through their minds.
Dramatization
Sloppy: English. English English English?
Translation
"Would you like my child?"
"I found this "thing" next to me. Is it yours?"
"Free Baby! Piping hot Free Baby here. Get your Free Baby."
The stewardess had a long conversation with absentee-mother, and she returned to Coach with the rest of the animals. I couldn't see past the eyes, but she looked angry with me. Not only did I rat her out for her stealthy move to Business Class, but I passed off a crying human.
Dear Reader, the rest of the flight was uneventful. The landing and hustle at Kuwait City International was anything but. I was familiar with the layout of the airport, but I was low on time. I had decided to take another attempt at washing my pants. I entered the nearest bathroom and found a line of men, and they were all washing their feet in the sink.
I get it. I understand why they were doing it, but there is no "wait in line" in the Middle East. You, like an asshole, push your way to the front and skip everyone else in line. It's "a way" in the United States, but is not "the way" most Americans practice "wait in line." I got sick of standing in line after about ten men budged. It was my turn.
Sloppy: Excuse me. I was in front of you, and I am going to...
He looks me up-and-down, and then it happened.
Male: At least I didn't piss my pants.
It was perfect English, but I didn't have the time to explain that I didn't piss myself. I just rolled with it. The second cleaning attempt was just as fruitless as the first cleaning attempt. The only thing that made my trip better was chaos in Beirut International (BEY). I arrived, and managed to beat the rush through customs. I was then greeted by a nearly seven foot tall giant named Jimmy.
Jimmy: Whoa! Did you piss your pants?
Sloppy: Not yet. Long story. I have to piss before we roll.
I was more than familiar with the layout of this particular airport, but I was paralyzed with piss-pain. I could barely walk, let alone run, to the bathroom.
Jimmy: Ahh. I will go hold up the line.
It was an odd statement. I was not certain how Jimmy would, "hold up the line," but I would soon find out. The bathroom at Beirut International is immediately to the right after you depart customs. However, it's the size of a small closet. There are two urinals, and one toilet stall. The spacing between the urinal and opposite wall is no more than four feet though. Again, think long, but narrow closet.
I continue the agonizing pee walk and I am a bit disappointed when I see a large line forming near the bathroom. There was "loud chatter" that I didn't understand, and some clearly disgruntled humans. I rounded the corner and nearly pissed myself. Jimmy was in deed "holding up the line." Jimmy's back was firmly planted on the wall to the right, and a flowing stream of yellow piss was arcing across the room, and landing in the urinal to the left. Jimmy was peeing from wall-to-wall. Nobody was going past urinal number one without receiving a golden shower.
Jimmy: (Smile) I got you man. Come in. I'll pinch her off.
Sloppy, like Moses (Kind of) parts pee stream and proceeds to second urinal.
I take a look to the left to get a glimpse of the chaotic line at the entrance. There were loud grumbles of displeasure, but, then I seen an old man. The old man was at least 70 years or older, and his face went from scowl, an onto smile. He then started to clap and I congratulate Jimmy's technique.
Old Man: (Laughing with Arabic Accent) Bravo. Bravo.
Sloppy: That was fucking brilliant.
Jimmy: Yeah. Didn't think you wanted to wait in line. Pulling out a gun would have been too much, so I figure peeing across the room would work.
Sloppy: Good to know for the next time.
That's that Dear Reader. Not an ordinary Military tale, but it was the oddest Military travel tale I have had. I "pissed my pants" with coffee, which ruined them. I was handed a baby that was not mine, and then forced to conduct a Ninja-hunt. I was accused of pissing my pants by men who were washing their feet in sinks. I was then accused of pissing my pants by Jimmy, and then Jimmy saved the day with four feet of arc pissing that was superbly executed. I'd like to thank the Army for this tale, because I don't know if Joe Civilian has experiences like this. Fucking Army!
​
Cheers,
Sloppy

I’m Jason, a recovering alcoholic. My last drink was November 17, 2019. I can’t believe it’s been a year. My counselor encouraged me to share my story for my recovery, so I figured I’d give it a shot.
It all started one morning about a year ago, I guess.
That morning, when the tremors started, I reached for the bottle again.
Good ol’ Jim Beam, I thought. Never lets you down. Couple of swigs, and I’ll be good.
I took one shot. Then, another.
Better.
When my hands steadied, I stumbled toward the bathroom, doing my best to avoid the mirror. But when I reached into the medicine cabinet, I glimpsed my reflection by accident.
Good god, I thought.
By then, I should have been used to the pasty-faced stranger who’d replaced the reasonably attractive college athlete I used to be. The sight of that vacant-eyed mess staring back in the mirror shouldn’t have fazed me. But with those purple rings around my eyes, I looked like I’d wound up on the wrong side of a fistfight. I was 25 going on 67.
As I shuffled back to the bedroom, a small book, propped open with a pen on the nightstand, caught my eye. I picked it up.
A diary?
It was an address book I’d used as a diary. I read the entry, scrawled in my sloppy handwriting, probably while I was ten shots deep into a blackout:
JJ Boy, you’ve been bad. Sasha says she’s cool with being friends, but she isn’t. Better dodge that. Note to self: Check the stove. And you burned the shit out of that sandwich.
What sandwich? I wondered. And why did I write that about Sasha?
That didn’t sound like something I’d say.
But that wasn’t what bothered me most. I reread the name in the note: JJ Boy. I never went by that name. No one called me that, at least not anymore. Only one person had ever called me that, and I can’t even begin to explain how much I despised it when he did. But I didn’t talk about him now.
And as for Sasha, I hadn’t seen her in weeks. So why did I write as though I'd just seen her? I only remembered meeting the guys at the bar last night. But even if I had seen Sasha, I wouldn't have been rude. We were friends.
Just to be safe, I checked the kitchen. The stove was off, but it glistened with grease and breadcrumbs. On the countertop sat a half-eaten ham sandwich, piled high with pickles and mustard, teetering dangerously close to the edge.
I tossed the sandwich.
What was I doing? I wondered. And where did those pickles come from? Better yet, what happened last night?
I dialed Dylan.
When Dylan answered, he sounded like he’d been run over by a semi twice.
“Jason,” he said, his voice croaking, as he yawned. “Rough one, eh?”
“You could say that,” I said. “Hey, I must have blacked out. What did we do after Maloney’s last night?”
Dylan laughed through another yawn. “We went to a bunch of bars, then we stopped by Sasha’s on the way home. Remember?”
I didn’t. After our fifth or sixth round of Jäger shots at Maloney’s, my mind went blank.
I’d blacked out before, but usually I could remember something when I did, even if it wasn’t much. But not this time.
I needed to fill in the gaps. I sensed something else was happening—something sinister.
**
The next morning, after I'd gone out drinking with the guys, the tremors were vicious. My hands trembled like I was in the midst of a hypoglycemic attack and begging for a glucose tablet. I steadied my right hand with the left, then took a long swig of Jim Beam. I suppressed the urge to gag as the bitter liquid rushed down my throat and coated my stomach, flooding me with that familiar comfort and warmth.
After my hands steadied, I grabbed the diary on the nightstand and read:
You’ve been a fool, JJ Boy. Friends are suspicious. Grow a backbone.
Grow a backbone? I thought, shuddering.
Why did that annoy me so much? I wondered.
I’d never been accused of not having a backbone. But that phrasing…It didn’t even sound like something I’d say. That sounded like something my mother might say if she was angry, or like something another person I used to know would say. But, I didn’t talk about him anymore.
I dialed Dylan.
His voice was curt when he answered. “What?” he said, grunting like a Neanderthal.
“What happened last night? Something weird is going on,” I said, sighing. “I’ll explain later.”
“Something weird,” he said, laughing. “You’ve got that right. That something weird is you. What’s going on with you these days?”
Dylan sighed, and I waited for him to explain.
“Dude, maybe you need to ease up on the drinking for a while,” Dylan said. “And you know you’re drinking too much if you’re hearing that from me.”
I laughed off his comment.
“Dude, really,” he said, his voice rising in disbelief. Then he laughed. “You weren’t yourself. And that was some hideous dancing by the way. Never do that again.”
“Dancing?” I asked, horrified.
I didn’t dance. Sure, I made an ass out of myself every now and then, but I didn’t dance.
“And you called Sasha,” Dylan added. “And, you’re totally leading the girl on. You say you don’t want to start things back up with her, but then you tell her another story. We were all right there. Everyone heard it.”
My stomach fluttered, and adrenaline rushed through me. To think everyone witnessed some behavior I couldn’t remember discomfited me. And to think that I had to rely on Dylan to fill in the memory gaps bothered me even more.
I didn’t know what to say. I just had to find out what I was doing during these blackout spells.
**
That afternoon, I dressed and went down to the tavern to have a few beers and clear my head.
“What can I getcha?” the bartender asked, as grease and sweat rained down from his forehead. His brawny arms were covered in prison tattoos—lots of dragons, hellfires, and demons. He stared at me with a firm, steely gaze, the kind that promised hell to pay for anyone who crossed him.
“Whatever’s on tap,” I said, handing over a credit card to start a tab.
It was sometime in the afternoon. I didn’t bother to look at the clock. A few families ate lunch at the back tables, as a few solo drinkers sat at the bar, gazing at the TV while their minds drifted, like mine was.
I’d finished a couple beers when a familiar voice sounded behind me. I couldn’t place it at first though.
“Hey there, remember me, stranger,” an older male voice said over my shoulder. I swiveled my barstool toward him.
Towering above me in his gray business suit was Professor Richards, my old World History instructor from my senior year of college.
“No way!” I said, holding out my hand to greet him.
He’d been my favorite professor.
He looked about 65, or maybe 70, with a white, manicured Colonel Sanders-style beard, wire-rimmed glasses, and a smile that reminded me of Santa’s.
“Mind if I sit?” he asked, gesturing toward the barstool next to me.
I waved and shook my head. “Of course not,” I said, gesturing back. “Sit right there! Good to see you. You’re the last person I’d expect to see here.”
Out of all people to show up at this shithole bar, I thought, amused.
What brings you here this fine afternoon?” he asked, grinning.
I shrugged. “Just clearing my head.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I hear ya,” he said, taking a long swig of some imported beer.
He shared his popcorn with me as we caught up and ordered a few more rounds. We chatted about everything—work, school, the Dodgers and Lakers, and even the history of alcohol, which he knew all about.
“I’ll bet you never knew,” he said, “that the word ‘alcohol’ comes from the Arabic word, ‘Al-Kuhl,’ which means ‘body-eating spirit.’”
He grabbed a fistful of popcorn.
“Can’t say that I did,” I said, laughing but also intrigued.
“And the word ‘alcohol’ also originates from the word, ‘ghoul,’ which means ‘corpse-eating devil’ in Middle Eastern folklore,” he said, raising his brows, as though surprised by his own fun fact.
I laughed.
“That’s why certain alcoholic drinks are called 'spirits,'” he said, smiling.
“Cheers to that,” I said, toasting him.
He laughed, then continued. “Claims about alcohol having connections to the spirit world have been documented for centuries. For instance, the alchemists used to believe that alcohol could be used to extract the spirit from the body, which allowed room for dark entities to enter in the good soul’s place.”
I shuddered but clung to every word. I took a long swig of beer.
“Like possession?” I asked.
He nodded. “Sounds crazy now, but alchemists believed that people lost their memories during blackouts because their souls had vacated during intoxication,” he said, smiling. “And when their souls left, malicious spirits took their place, or so they claimed.”
He reached for more popcorn and took a drink.
“Crazy ancients, huh?” he laughed.
I laughed too, but a chill rippled through me.
“These types of accounts have been well documented in books, like the Paramahansa Yogananda’s Man’s Eternal Quest,” he said, as his gaze drifted toward the window.
He took a long swig of beer. “The ancients claimed that the intoxicated body became a vehicle for malicious spirits. They said drugs and alcohol made people more vulnerable to possession by low-frequency entities."
I shook my head. "It’s like something from a movie.”
He paused, chewing his popcorn.
“Crazy stuff, huh?” he said, laughing.
I nodded. “Kind of makes me want to stop drinking.”
He laughed. “Nah,” he said. “You only have to worry about that kind of thing if you get blackout drunk.”
I forced a laugh, feeling nervous.
**
But the professor’s words haunted me that night.
Low-frequency entities…A vehicle for malicious spirits.
As I reflected on recent events, I shuddered.
What was really happening when I blacked out?
The idea of possession sounded absurd, but I still wondered. I’d never been religious or superstitious. I’d never believed in ghosts.
But I was open to the possibility that the universe was full of mysteries and that there were still many things we didn’t know. I was open to the possibility that my beliefs, or lack thereof, had been misguided. I hated being wrong. But still, what if?
I have to find out what’s really happening during my blackouts, I thought, then drifted off into a restless sleep.
**
The next day, when I met Sasha for lunch, she shared some unsettling news.
She had barely touched her salad. She looked down at her food, shuffling it around with a fork, as though lost in thought. Her eyes looked nervous, but she avoided my gaze throughout most of lunch.
“What is it?”
She shrugged, tugging at her long brown curls.
“Sasha?” I said, prodding.
She sighed. “You,” she started then paused. “I guess you’ve seemed different lately.”
I waited for the rest.
“You just haven’t been yourself,” she said, lifting her blue eyes to meet my gaze.
I sighed, not knowing what to say.
“So I hear,” I said, remembering what Dylan said.
“And the other night,” Sasha said, “you kept calling me ‘Baby Girl,’ like your—“
She stopped, drawing her hand to her mouth, as her eyes widened with regret.
“Like my what?” I asked, frowning, leaning closer.
She sighed and squirmed in her seat. “I don’t want to say it because I know how you feel about the subject.”
“Just say it. I just need to know.”
“Like your brother,” she blurted. Her eyes widened, as though she was shocked by the bluntness of her own words. But I understood her reaction.
“Like Micah,” she added, softly. “I know it’s a sensitive topic, so…”
Chills rushed over me. But mostly, I was confused.
“Wait,” I said, leaning closer. “Why would Micah call you ‘Baby Girl’?”
That didn’t make sense.
But Sasha explained. “Didn’t you know?”
I shook my head.
“We dated,” she said, looking down again. “After you and I broke up that summer. He and I dated."
My jaw dropped.
“How could I not know this?” I said. “Who else knew?”
She shrugged, shrinking in her seat. “Everyone knew,” she said. “It’s just after he died, we knew never to talk about him.”
It was all true. I didn’t talk about my brother, in part, because I’d hated my brother. And that feeling was mutual. I hadn’t talked about him in years. And no one else talked about him either. Too many bad memories, with the suicide and the drinking. Even my mom didn’t talk about him. And this was the first time anyone had mentioned him since he died five years ago and put that gun to his head.
Never even left a note.
Never said good-bye.
**
The night after I’d met Sasha for lunch, I’d gone out drinking with my buddies. We met at Maloney’s, and I made it my mission to get obliterated and erase the memories of Micah from my mind.
After the fifth or sixth round of shots at the bar, my mind went blank.
The next morning, the diary, propped open on the nightstand, caught my eye again. I knew the drill. This latest entry read:
Dylan’s got news for you. Better call him, JJ Boy. LOL.
I dialed Dylan, and he filled me in.
“Dude, you lost it last night,” he said, sounding groggy and disoriented even at 2:00 p.m.
“What now?” I asked, unsure if I wanted to know.
He sighed. “After the bar, we drove to some guy’s house, who was having a party, and out of nowhere, your voice changed. You got all hot-headed and dictatorial, playing backseat driver and shit.”
Dylan scoffed. “But that wasn’t the best part,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “The highlight of the night, by far, was when you insisted that we call you by your dead brother’s name. Kind of freaked everyone out. Not gonna lie.”
Chills raced up my spine, and adrenaline coursed through my body.
Dylan mimicked my voice, sounding petulant: “It’s not Jason! It’s Micah!” Dylan said, in a sing-song voice. “Exact words. You know I wouldn’t say it unless it was true.”
My blood froze.
Every part of my body ached, and my stomach flip-flopped like I was three-weeks deep into a cruise across a turbulent sea.
**
The next night was November 16. I remember it too well.
I’d devised a plan, placing video recorders throughout the house—in the kitchen, bedroom, living room, and bathrooms. I even used an old cell phone to capture audio of everything just in case I needed it. I didn’t want to miss a moment. I had to know what I was really doing when I blacked out. I was done relying on friends to fill in the blanks for me.
Outside, the bitter air burned my skin. Then, hours after sundown, a storm moved in, and the air shifted from calm and crisp to violent. Thunder crackled, and lightning electrified the night sky. Rain exploded, and the wind whipped the ground and roared like a phantom lion.
Each time the thunder clapped, the lights in the house flickered, and electricity hummed in every room.
I drank alone that night, but I would capture every moment, including the parts I knew I’d forget by tomorrow.
After I set up the audio and video, I broke out the Jim Beam, then took a long swig. After six or seven drinks, my mind went blank.
**
The next day, I broke out the audio and video recordings, eager to see the footage. But I wasn’t prepared for what I found.
It wasn’t the video footage of me standing in one spot staring at the sofa for twenty minutes that scared me. And it wasn’t the audio of the voice that sounded nothing like mine that scared me either.
What scared me was the video footage of the man who was standing behind me, watching from the corner of the living room. The timestamp in the video showed him standing in that same position for about an hour.
At one point, I stood up and paced back and forth. Then, I made a sandwich and played on the computer. After that, I started mumbling about the weather.
But then, my voice shifted and deepened, changing into some other man’s voice. And the voice on that recording turned my blood to ice.
Micah’s voice.
My voice transformed into Micah’s. Then, the man in the corner disappeared.
The audio captured his words: “Oh, JJ Boy,” he chided, speaking through me. “Look at you. You fool."
He cackled.
“You think you can run from me?”
After that, the audio stopped, and the man in the video never returned.
**
My last drink was on November 17, 2019. The only way I could put Micah to rest for good was to stop drinking. But that experience changed me. It changed the way I saw the world. That experience also got me sober, so maybe it all happened for a reason.
But I’ll admit, every now and then, I’ve felt that pull, that subtle nudge of temptation. Sometimes, thoughts of a beer drift through my mind like a breeze fluttering by on a warm day. Sometimes, my eyes drift toward a bottle of Jim Beam on a bar shelf, and I’ll remember a song that was playing the last time I drank it, as I caressed that bottle or clutched that cold glass in my hand, losing myself in that moment.
Once in a while, my mind tempts me with thoughts and silly questions, like, Maybe just one more drink wouldn’t hurt? You can have one more drink just one more time—can’t you, JJ Boy?