Gambling 2021 | Laws and Regulations | Macau | ICLG

Mammoth post incoming..... I read a lot of posts in this thread and others to help me prepare for my first time backpacking in South East Asia, used mostly reddit and youtube to collect information and in return to all the helpful people who advised me, I want to add a bit to the info out there. This was our first time backpacking in Asia but we have both travelled a decent amount, apologies to those seasoned backpackers who might eye roll at the obvious things I point out! And how long this post is! few linked included where possible.
I travelled with my boyfriend (both in our mid 20s) for 7 weeks from Nov 2019 to Jan 2020 covering 4 countries; Hong Kong, Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand. We travelled as a couple, not really looking for the typical hostel/partying experience. I had spots/cities we wanted to stop in picked out more so I could check that our return flight back gave us enough time (bf had job to come back for). For those interest I travelled with 40l backpack (Osprey ladies size I recommend for small gals). and 15l day back and boyfriend had 65l backpack. I really reccommend getting up to date on vaccines and/or visiting somewhere like Nomad travel (UK major cities only) for additional shots. We also bought a medical kit from them which came in very handy and I would buy THIS one (works out cheaper than making your own).
Our original plan was to buy a motorbike in Ho Chi Minh and then use that as our main mode of transport to bike across Cambodia and then finally go to Bangkok, so there's a section about bikes at the end.
I am plant based / have a pretty strong dairy intolerance, so I'll add a section about travelling as a 'vegan' as I found it more difficult to get concrete advice on that before I left.
We are from UK so our budget/prices we evaluated against £ GBP
Hong Kong - this was the most built up and relatively similar experience to our lives at home and eased us pretty gently into travel. I would compare Hong Kong to a metropolitan place like London. We stayed in the Wan Chai district and would recommend the are for first timers. Not as expensive as the Central District and gives more local flavour with the street markets which you are likely to explore or pass through on the way to the MTR. Stay on Hong Kong Island over the peninsula as a lot of activities are there and though it is more compact you get a good sense of what HK is really like.
Prices - cost of restaurants was about the same as home - £8-10+ for a meal. Transport - incredibly cheap, routes often less than £1 or 50p Lots of 7/11 and Circle K with reasonable prices for snacks or eating in
Things we did: - Victoria Peak - there are some views more 'within' the city if you take the giant escalator up and walk a bit further as opposed to going straight to the top - Mong Kok area and surrounding markets - Hong Kong museum - quite dated and nothing on history of recent years but it is free - Hong Kong Peninsula night time view of HK island (symphony of lights show) - Temple Street night market - Dragon's Back - this was easy to get to via bus and a nice welcome break from the city. An easy hike. - Ching Chung Koon, Tao temple - really beautiful temple with turtles, easy trip by bus to visit
Shenzhen - We went to Shenzhen as we wanted to see what China was like and had some intrigue about it being a Special Economic Zone. My advice to absolutely everyone, unless you know of something on the other side you want to see, is do not go.
We read that it was free to enter but you would have to get a short stay visa stamp. We ended up stuck in immigration after getting off the MTR for about 2 hours, first you must go and get a photo and a visa put in your passport which includes filling our a form and being asked a few questions about your stay, then you go downstairs and fill our a landing card, get fingerprinted and then pass through to Shenzhen. There isn't a clear explanation as to where these different rooms are to get the whole process done and you're at the mercy of how busy the waiting rooms are for how quick you get out, no visas would be ready and then they would surge in 10 being ready for collection at once.
Shenzhen was a very homogenous city, we couldn't find any historical sites or areas designed for non Chinese to engage with the local fare, though bare in mind Shenzhen is absolutely huge and we were short on time after arriving later. Tube system is cheap and in English and we used cash to pay. When we tried to use bank cards to take out more money I had no luck with Mastercard, Visa and Visa credit card at more than one ATM. The best part of the trip was a small antique shop in the train terminal with genuine trinkets, pottery etc. The guy was quite fair with our haggling too.
Macau - Again we visited this as another special zone outside of HK. Again unfortunately I don't recommend going. To us, Macau was missing all the parts of the Vegas strip that would make a high concentration of casinos together worthwhile; no smoking indoors, no open carry on alcohol on the streets, no street vendors or anything to create an interesting people-watching street, not helped by how spread out all the casinos were from one another. We visited the Venetian which brought us away from the casinos on the ferry side of Macau, so that might have made a difference. The Venetian at Macau had the same feeling as The Trafford Centre if UK readers are familiar with it. If you have been there you'll have your own opinion about it and use that to inform going to Macau.
Hong Kong Protests - Before leaving for HK I'd been keeping up with the protest news. Though by November the 'peak' of protests seemed to have passed a lot in UK news there were still plenty of reports of violent clashes daily. From digging around online I felt that it was still safe to go but just to be mindful of large groups of people collecting or the university area. Whilst we were in HK we didn't see anything that alarmed us or made us feel unsafe. While I don't think the media outlets were incorrectly reporting protest clashes, the actual volume of them appears to be exaggerated (but that's how news makes money, right..). We saw graffiti at most MTR stations and some bus stations that had english text posters and print outs explaining the situation that were even updated overnight to new developments like Trump's treaty. One mall we tried to go to adjacent to some university buildings was closed and the MTR next to it was all smashed up but other than graffiti we felt very safe when wandering round the city both day and night. I would say the university area probably needs the most caution, but if the MTR is stopping there again then there has probably been improvement.
Vietnam - We flew into Ho Chi Minh city, stayed for about 3 days. I'm curious to return to Vietnam in the North of the country, while the South was very interesting to see I was more than ready to move on after about 8 days. Didn't really get a good feeling out of HCMC; extremely loud, sticky, busy place. The best thing we did was go to the War Remnants Museum, things like the old post office were interesting but they don't really take up much of your day. A phone sim for 2 weeks with unlimited data was easy to get and cost less than £10 I think.
HCMC is a good place to take advantage of cheap taxis and cheap food. We could get a good meal and a soft drink/smoothie for £2.50/£3, grab taxi was about £1 anywhere and £1.50 in a grab car, Circle K essentials like a sewing kit were about £2.
Would recommend the Grab app for getting around - though it wasn't my favourite place we visited, I was really able to appreciate the pace and culture of the city zipping through little side streets on the back of the bike from District 1 down to other places in Chinatown area.
There are plenty of markets to visit, but when you've seen the stuff at one the others aren't really much different and people didn't really want to haggle with us.
We did a Mekong Delta day trip, though I'm not always a big fan of a guided tour this was fun and worth going on. Have a look on a site like Klook and pick something that sounds interesting and in budget - we visited temples, honey farm, coconut farm, held some snakes, traditional boat on Mekong and lunch for about £18 each for everything.
Nha Trang - we visited here as somewhere in South Vietnam by the sea before heading westways for the rest of the trip. It was a much calmer and quieter city than HCMC but I'm not sure I would visit again, very windy in November. An unbelievable amount of Russians here, more built up and developed than I was anticipating too. Long Son Pagoda and Ba Ho waterfalls were good to visit, though Ba Ho seemed to be having a very big touristy development built on it which was a weird contrast to the very difficult to climb and almost untouched waterfalls. We biked to Bai Dai beach - just make sure to take the first turn down to the beach before you hit the strip of resorts being built because it goes on forever and they won't let you through for access to the sand. Beautiful views on the way down but can see the whole area and Vietnam in general being swallowed up by package resort tourism which is a shame.
Cambodia - This ended up being my favourite country of the visit. Though there's not really pavements or waste management or sewage and you can't drink the water etc, but there was little rampant tourism, people were kind, the weather was great and we saw some beautiful places. Phone sim will cost you about $5 and you can only top up limited data about $5 for 8GB.
Prices - Cambodia has 2 currency system with USD and riel though most of the time you're using USD (4,000 r = $1). I felt like because of USD prices were rounded up a bit more so it was still cheap, but more expensive than Vietnam. Eating out probably about $5-7 or more if you're not holding back. There aren't many chain stores in Cambodia so you're at the mercy of individual places for a good selection of snacks and then hopefully not grossly inflated prices especially on Western imports ($2.50+ for pringles?). I did find that pharmacies were cheap. Make sure you haggle with tuk tuks or use PassApp, but that app needs some work so it's often easier to take one that's in the street. In PP/SKampot getting around we paid no more than $3. In SR to go to the airport $7.
We took a bus to Phnom Penh from HCMC which made the border crossing quite easy. We had e-visa already printed out etc but it didn't seem to make our waiting time any shorter but saved us having to fill out any forms at border control.
Phnom Penh - felt a lot nicer than HCMC as soon as we got there really. Still hot and dirty and hassled like hell for tuk tuks but I felt more kindness from Cambodians. Compared to HCMC this was a whole lot quieter and more relaxed. Not every building has a formal address so if you're not staying at a hotel (airbnb) bear in mind you might need more visual instructions to find your stay.
We stayed near the Royal Palace and the area round there, though more for expats was chilled out and there were local markets, not far to walk to temples and sites etc. There are a few hotels in this area with pools if you need to cool off. The one we tried we just took the lift up to the roof no problem, but I had messaged another nearby that said it was for residents only.
Siem Reap - though this city is pretty much here for Angkor Wat tourism I enjoyed being here not just to see the temples. We stayed at THIS airbnb which was very reasonable and probably one of our favourite stays. No pool but there were a few places nearby that were happy to let us use theirs, we just bought drinks and food. There are a few temples in the city near the city where you can see fruit bats all in the trees. The river here is nice, big market, lots of cats.
Angkor Wat: we bought a 3 day pass and went on a sunrise tour one morning and then did our own thing on the other days. Doing the tour means you get up and in for sunrise at the right time and it's good to get some history about the places you're seeing. Angkor Wat temple itself wasn't the most interesting to me and there are hundreds if not thousands of people there in the morning that makes it a lot less enjoyable. We also visited:
Ta Phrom - temple from Tomb Raider Angkor Thom city gates Bayon Temple - this was a cool 2 storey temple that is merged with depictions of Hinduism and Buddhism Preah Khan
You can hire a tuk tuk driver for a day around $15 mark or you can hire electric bikes in SR centre and take those around (tourists not allowed to ride motorbikes in temple complex) $5 for 24hrs. Just make sure to give your electric bike a good charge beforehand as the battery doesn't always read right. There is a restaurant in the complex you can swap your battery at - the whole temple area is an extremely large place, you can be 15mins drive in between spots so plan carefully.
Koh Rong Island - we took a flight from SR down to Sihanoukville to then get the ferry across to Koh Rong. Our flight ended up being delayed by 12 hours (welcome to Cambodia) so we had to stay a night in Sihanoukville and go across the following day. Travelling from Sihanouk airport to Sihanouk we had to wear bandanas over our faces to stop breathing in the dust, even though only one window in the car was cracked, it's hella dirty. If you are travelling from the airport to town I highly discourage taking a tuk tuk or rickshaw; the roads are not well surfaced in a more extreme manner than what I saw in PP and SR, there are a lot of freight trucks which will need to be over or undertaken in order for the journey to not take hours. Taxis are unfortunately the most expensive here and the journey cost $20.
Sihanoukville - I'm told recent infiltration and development of Sihanouk by the Chinese has completely transformed the city in the last 2/3 years at an incredible rate with no care for the local Khmer population. It was possibly the worst place I've ever visited. Dusty and dirty on another level, open building sites and construction absolutely everywhere. Very young looking boy in a digger pulling up the pavement less than 5ft from a busy restaurant. I had to climb up a 3ft pile of loose rubble to get to an ATM because the whole side of the road had been obliterated.
If you are waiting for the ferry on Beach Road and you need an ATM but they're all broken like they were when I was there in December, there is an ATM on the actual pier. I was stressing about taking money out for Koh Rong as I heard there was no way to get cash on the island but when I was there I saw a few places that offered cash out (but I didn't try them).
I reccommend reading THIS reddit thread and the LINKED article by a Chinese blogger about Sihanouk.
I read THIS travelfish article about Koh Rong which was very helpful too. I had an impression from the article that the island is quite under developed, which in some ways was definitely true, however it was easy to do what we wanted and we didn't struggle for places to eat etc. We stayed on the main pier (though really this is still a small strip of restaurants and shops, no resorts) and spent most of our time on White Sand Beach. Koh Rong could not be any more different than Sihanouk and it was a great place to spend Christmas and unwind. We didn't do much other than swim and lie on the beach and it was great! There were boat tours to take but a lot seemed to end with 'free drink and party' and we weren't interested in that. Prices on the island were the same as PP/SR. The only things that were a lot more expensive were activities - someone had a jetski you could rent for $100.. and there was some tree top zip line you could do for about $20.
We visited 4k beach next door which was a lot more remote, beautiful as well but only one option to eat. We came past Coconut Beach when we left on the speedboat and that looked to a bit less than the main pier but still stocked with a good few options. Overall the food we had on Koh Rong was some of the best!
Kampot - A small town/city on the river. Very chilled with a nice central part of town with good places to eat. There are hardly any big hotels or buildings over 3 stories - it felt like a more real Khmer place than somewhere like Siem Reap. From Kampot you can visit Bokor Mountain, Kep, salt fields, a lot of natural escapes. Unfortunately we both got very sudden aggressive gastro-bug or food poisoning so we spent 5 days pretty much inside doing nothing (was going to happen at some point). Kampot was a quiet place and we were able to recover well here though.
Kampot to Koh Chang - From Kampot we travelled to Koh Chang, Thailand. I'd seen some speculation online that it wasn't possible to do this trip in one day, but having done it I can say yes it is but it is a long day. Almost every bus trip we took on our adventure meant that we lost all of the day (no motorways in Viet/Cambodia) however the quality of transport means it can take even longer. Vietnam was good with sleeper or semi sleeper buses, however in Cambodia our 6.5 hour trip from Kampot to the Thai border at Trat was 16 people in a 12 seater minibus plus a baby.. so bear in mind long distance trips in Cambodia can be testing! From Trat border we got a minibus to the bus station, then a songalew/thai taxi to the ferry and then a minibus took us to our hotel on the other side [12 hour trip].
Thailand - Much more infastructure and felt more modern than Cambodia and Vietnam, but I couldn't really get a vibe for the place and felt like a lot had been lost to the prevalent tourism. I would maybe visit again but staying away from coastal areas - if felt like the Spain of South East Asia.
Prices could be a little more on top of Cambodian prices but you could find cheap places to eat. About £5 for a meal. Taxis cost about £3 through Grab. 7/11 and Family Mart very cheap snacks for pennies.
Bangkok - as this was our last stop we didn't travel to many temples or big spots outside the city because money haha... we stayed away from the expat areas, the Museum of Art & Culture had a cool free exhibition, the malls Siam Discovery, Siam Paragon are worth visiting for the food halls and just to see. Where we stayed had a pool so we took it pretty easy. Went to Chatachuk but too much tourist and sweat..
Bikes:
We bought a bike in HCMC via facebook marketplace - I would suggest if you know anyone Viet to get them to help you get the true price because as a tourist you're probably seeing an inflated price tag. If not that it might be possible to get one from another backpacker, but then you may be at the mercy of any damages or issues with the bike they're not aware of as they aren't familiar with bikes.
We took our bike (Honda Cub c 50) to Nha Trang with us stowed in our sleeper bus - we visited a few bus trip/tourist places and one was happy to do it for us. I think for 2 people and the bike was about £23 one way, so not bad at all. You'll have to empty the fuel before it goes in the bus so just remember that at the other end you might have to give your bike a min to run the fuel through it again. We sold it in Nha Trang because it wasn't quite powerful enough to get us around with any bags (i was not in charge of buying bike haha...). Bikes are more than easy to rent in every country we went to for probably £5 a day max. We had a bike in Koh Chang but I know in Thailand there are more rules about tourist rental so I would swerve riding on the mainland. The most hectic place we rode was HCMC so I would just suggest avoiding that if you can, even if you ride in your home country.
We sold our bike in Nha Trang via facebook marketplace. We took a loss but it was more about cutting our dead weight before the rest of our trip so to speak. If you really want to ride a lot in SEAsia, Cambodia has no restrictions on tourists having bikes up to 125cc if you want to play the legal legal route (not that I saw any police in Cambodia over 3 weeks!). A bike is also a responsibility and if you're wanting to feel completely free while travelling it might not be right to buy one. Do thorough research! I travelled with a full face helmet and I was grateful for it on windy rides and hectic places likes HCMC. If you're not planning on riding a lot then this is definitely not essential but finding a full face helmet, that fits, that isn't too bootleg to break on you might be some things to consider (bare in mind I was planning on doing long rides when planning this trip initially).
Veganism / plant based / special diets: As mentioned I have strong intolerance to all dairy products and am generally vegan; I still eat eggs maybe once a week and might have fish and chips a few times a year.
With the exception to intolerances and allergies I think the best approach to eating in South East Asia or travelling in general is be willing to be flexible. I only like to eat plant based, but I'm happy to eat eggs and at a push will eat fish or chicken. This is obviously not what I want to do for every meal but consider that you might be getting places late at night, options that are clearly described in English as not containing your allergens may only have meat in them etc.
When I travelled to Japan and also for all these countries, I wrote 'I cannot eat dairy etc' in English on Google translate and then screenshotted the response in the desired language if I needed to show someone to confirm ingredients. For Japan I looked up pre made examples as I know the kanji can sometimes not translate directly, but here I just had the google translate page as a back up.
Hong Kong - a lot of English spoken here and a lot of specifically vegan places however they are more expensive. At 7/11 they sell the 'Kind' granola bars which are vegan and yummy! and I also ate the ready made egg and rice sushi balls. Some ingredients were listed in English but I don't remember finding any other easy go-to's. At bakeries, of which there are a lot, almost everything appears to be cream filled, buttered, flaky pastry. I found I could eat walnut and raisin breads without any noticeable issues, but I didn't have an ingredients list to check.
Vietnam - in HCMC I was very lucky to be staying down the road from a fully vegan restaurant that had ice cream, vegan banh mi, smoothies etc (Healthy World in District 1, there is another somewhere else in the city). Tofu was on menus and on an English menu in a Viet place I could safely pick something veggie. Asking for a dish to be 'chay' means veggie and that works too. Because everything is so cheap, it seemed to be easy enough to eat here. Desserts were limited with the exception of a vegan shop.
They do have Oreos, in general for all these countries, I hope you like Oreos because they're the only dessert option most place !
Cambodia - Sometimes easy and sometimes not. Tofu did appear on menus, I would recommend trying Tofu Lok Lak as a veggie Khmer dish (it will probably come with a fried egg) and I was able to ask for curries just veggie or with tofu. I ate mostly eggs and toast of some kind for breakfast because that was a filling option. Every city I was in there was at least one vegan cafe or restaurant that was not too much more ££ than a normal meal so I knew at least I could get myself something nice and safely vegan every other day while keeping a budget. I was concerned about Koh Rong being a remote island that I would struggle to eat but this was one of the best places! There is a purely veggie/vegan restaurant on the main pier, as well as other restaurants offering vegan pizza, veggie pad thai, tofu curries etc. I also found a second kind of chocolate biscuit that wasn't an Oreo here!
Koh Chang/Thailand - though we were back to having access to 7/11 the options seemed more limited and Thailand was my least favourite place to eat. In 7/11 I did find a few different kinds of Almond milk (& oreos!) but ingredients were rarely in English. Some options at the food halls were inari sushi, Subway (hash browns) and a few other (but more pricey) dedicated vegan restaurants in the central district.
You deserve a medal if you made it this far - any questions please ask me, thanks :-)

Instead of the usual pomp and circumstance that plays on at the opening, Saturday Night by Herman Brood begins to play and out walks Mark Dutch, dressed in a colbert and jeans, underneith an orange shirt and he heads to the ring, laughing.
Woodbridge: Welcome everybody to House Party! My name is Mark Woodbridge.
Paisner: And I am Allen Paisner.
Woodbridge: We have an exciting show for you today, but we’re starting off with the former Override member heading to the ring.
Paisner: That’s right. For those who didn’t pay attention last week, which is impossible because our shows are amazing, Mark Dutch has been kicked out of The Override after being revealed that The Override took bribes from Jack Flash, but Dutch took some extra cash on the side from Flash and The Override kicked him out!
Woodbridge: Once again proving that Dutch is an liar and master manipulator for getting Flash to give extra cash and an fraud by having The Override not notice anything!
Painser: The Dutchman got caught though and now he’s by himself once again.
Dutch walks up the steel stairs and gets in the ring, taking the microphone from Javier and the music dies down.
Dutch: Last week, I got kicked out of The Override for being a lying son of a bitch..
Dutch looks in the crowd, the crowd laughing at Dutch for getting kicked out and Dutch can’t take it.
Dutch: Laugh all you want, you weird fucks, but I got more money from Flash than you all would earn in a fucking year. Especially you!
Dutch points at a crowd member, a small girl that’s 7 or 8 on the verge of tears.
Dutch: It would be wiser to hang up a poster of me over your Justin Bieber poster, because later in life, you would prefer to be me than you want to be yourself, you little cunt.
The girl cries and audience members console the girl while other audience members throw beer. Dutch catches a cup mid air and throws it back at the person.
Dutch: As I was saying, I got kicked out and was left to be assaulted by 4 men, 1 who I just had a match with and three others who had matches later that evening. Hippie John got enough of a beating that match but I’ll get my revenge on him, KSJ got what he deserved later that night and Dean Arrow is beginning to feel bad for everything he has done. Everyone got what they deserved.. except for one man.
Erik Von Jarrett, I’m calling you out right now! You hear me?!? I AM CALLING YOU THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW AND I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FUCKING MATCH AT AMUDOV! YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, I’M NOT IN THE AMUDOV TOURNAMENT BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO PROOF TO ALL YOU FUCKERS!
The crowd boos louder and chant at Dutch.
Crowd: CHICKENSHIT! CHICKENSHIT! CHICKENSHIT!
Dutch: ARE YOU FUCKERS CALLING ME CHICKENSHIT?!?
Crowd: YES! YES! YES!
Dutch: Go back to your Zac Efron posters! There is a reason nobody in the USA loves Rhode Island! You all should’ve died in the womb!
The crowd boo’s as the topic of wombdeath emerges and Dutch loses his composure completely, flipping out at the crowd and the crowd flipping out at him.
Dutch: ERIK VON JARRETT, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND I DARE YOU! I DARE YOU TO ACCEPT MY MATCH FOR I CHALLENGE YOU TO A SUBMISSION MATCH! FIRST ONE TO MAKE THE OTHER TAP WINS! I HAVE NEVER LOST BY SUBMISSION, HELL, I HAVE NEVER FUCKING TAPPED IN THIS BUSINESS AND NEITHER HAVE ANY OF YOU, FOR NO ONE HERE HAS EVER LAID THERE HANDS ON ANYTHING, MAY IT BE A WOMAN OR A GUY, EXCEPT FOR THAT FOOTBALL TEACHER WHO WOULD GRAB YOUR ASSES AFTER THE MATCH! YEAH, I SAID IT, IT’S FUCKING CREEPY!
Beer is thrown from the crowd at Dutch, showering him in the beer and ruining the Dutchman his suit.
Dutch: THROW YOUR BEER? YOU FUCKS ARE PROVING MY POINT! YOU SICK, CRAZY FUCKS!
Paisner: This is getting out of control!
Woodbridge: Wooo! Free beer!
While the crowd throws more and more beer, the echo of Erik’s voice goes through the speakers.
EVJ: Dutch. What do I have to prove to you? I have beaten you at The Good, The Bad and The Tweener.
Out walks EVJ, the crowd cheering and the beer shower having ended, meanwhile Dutch, who was flipping out a few moments earlier, is now focused on Jarrett.
EVJ: Listen to me carefully. I have beaten you at the PPV, I can beat you again..
Dutch: Then why don’t you accept the challenge and try to prove you’re that good?
EVJ: Although I would love to put you in your place once again, I have done it 2 weeks ago already and I do not need to do it again, so Dutch, my awnser is no. I decline the offer to kick your ass and walk away victorious at AMUDOV. I will walk out of there victorious.. just not in a match with you.
Dutch is enraged by these words and kicks the ropes, angry and upset by everything going on now, a crowd booing him, Jarrett declining his offer, beer thrown all over him, it’s not a pretty sight.
Dutch: YOU ARE A COWARD, JARRETT! JUST LIKE STUDD WAS, JUST LIKE SUNSHINE WAS, JUST LIKE PAISNER WAS, JUST LIKE THE OVERRIDE NOW IS!
Jarrett sighs and turns around, walking away as Dutch is still screaming at him.
Dutch: YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! I AM NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!
Jarrett however is done talking and walks out to get ready for his match.
Dutch: JARRETT! I AM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!
Dutch throws the microphone on the ground in a fit of rage, beer all over him, his hair messy and sticky because of it, making Dutch look like what tumblr bloggers, who are Dutch his archenemy, call.. triggered.
COMMERCIAL
Javier: The following match is scheduled for 1 fall with a 30 minute time limit. The referee for this match is Mia So Hung.
Paisner: Somehow I don't think we're going to need the full 30 minutes.
Woodbridge: Bader lost to Percy Prettybody last week, despite Prettybody being a rookie, and boy is Bader pissed! He's so pissed off he challenged Dewey Needler to a match.
Paisner: Somehow I don't think Dewey will put up much of a fight.
Woodbridge: You laugh Allen, but Dewey Needler is a fearsome competitor and you can't rule him out.
Paisner: Did he pay you to say that Mark?
Woodbridge: Two cases of Blue Ribbon.
Paisner's disdain for his coworker selling out is cut short by shitty bar rock music, as the stench of week old pizza wafts through the curtain, accompanied by Dewey Needler. He gets a loud pop, although only one person actually cheers, and I'm pretty sure that was his mail-order girlfriend, Natascha. He lumbers to the ring, and retrieves something from his tatty jean shorts.
Javier: Introducing first, from the scummiest bar in Philadelphia, weighing 300lbs, Dewey Needler!
Woodbridge: What has Dewey Needler got to be thinking right now, Allen?
Paisner: Which part of his body does he like the least? Cos Bader is gonna rip it off!
Woodbridge: Needler has been in intense training 24/7 since we last saw him. There will be an upset, just watch.
Woodbridge quickly shuts up as Bader's music hits. He walks down to the ring, accompanied by Matt Holman and his own cameraman who follows him down to the ring. Bader stares daggers into the trembling Needler, who is still holding something in his hands.
Javier: And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Matt Holman, from Hell's Kitchen NY, weighing 240 pounds, "The Butcher", David Bader.
Paisner: Former UFL champion, former amateur wrestling champion, and now determined to become WiR champion. Bader is one badass motherfucker.
Bader walks into the ring, and stares down Needler, who calls for a mic.
Needler: M-M-Mr Bader sir, I-I-I'm a huge fan. I've watched all of your fights, and I always cheered for you. C-C-Could you sign this for me?
He reveals the UFL 175 flyer he had stuffed in his pockets, with Bader in the main event. He cautiously offers it to Bader, who looks at Holman with a quizzical expression. Holman says it's Bader's call. Bader takes the flyer from Needler, studies it for a moment, then signs it and gives it back to him. Needler's face lights up, as he hastily stuffs the flyer and pen back into his pocket. Holman vacates the ring.
DING DING DING
Needler extends his hand, looking to shake the hand of his idol. Bader looks at Holman, then at Needler. He accepts the handshake, but wrenches the arm round into a wristlock. Bader twists his entire body around the arm of Needler, forcing him to flip onto his back, as Bader locks in a cross armbreaker. Needler twists and turns to try and fight out, but Bader is too strong. He goes to tap, but his arm falls limply to the ground, as he passes out from the pain.
DING DING DING
Javier: Your winner by referee stoppage, in a time of 18 seconds, David Bader!
Bader gets up when Javier announces the result, and grabs the open mic Needler had used earlier.
Bader: You see that Prettybody?! Next time, that's you!
Paisner: That was a statement of intent.
Woodbridge: I don't believe it. All those months of gym membership I paid for...
Paisner: Erm Mark, sorry to be a bearer of bad news, but uh... you do realize that he was using that money to pay for his NYS Conglomeration subscription?
Woodbridge: So that's why his membership was $8.88 a month...
We cut away from the ring to a camera that is inside a dark, foggy room, and an unknown voice can be heard talking
Unknown: Some men hate violence.
Shows footage of Hippy John smoking
Unknown: Some men adapt to violence
Footage of EVJ suplexing Vic Studd onto a road spike is shown
Unknown: Some men love violence.
Footage of Mark Dutch tapping out Vic Studd with a glass-assisted crossface is shown
Unknown: Some men, know nothing but it.
After the man finishes that sentence, he comes out of the fog to reveal that that man is Stephen Romero
Romero: You see, most of these men have only seen violence in a ring, and only since they were adults, but me, i've seen men get shot, and stabbed since i was a tiny little baby. You think these men know violence? They ain't seen nothin' yet.
Romero then picks up a gun, and fires a blank at the camera, and the feed cuts off.
COMMERCIAL
DMX hits, and the crowds begin booing loudly. They boo even louder when 3 people walk out from behind the curtain: Jack Flash, Savannah Green and Santiago Martinez. Jack Flash is in a brand new Reapers T-shirt (available for just $19.99 from WiR. com), while Savannah and Martinez are in matching Reapers hoodies. The three slowly walk down to the ring, Flash soaking in the animosity while holding his title belt aloft, while Martinez struggles to stop himself from dancing to the gangsta rap. The three eventually get to the ring and roll in, signalling for a mic.
Paisner: These 3 have some nerve coming back here, especially considering Kevin Scott Jackson is still in a freaking hospital bed. I don't think anyone has come to terms with just what a betrayal last week was.
Woodbridge: I know of 3 people...
Flash: That's right guys, keep the boos coming, cos I just get to stand here and laugh. I laugh at the fact you think your boos and your cries will bring Kevin Scott Jackson back. Because, do you know something?! Kevin Scott Jackson is lying in a hospital bed, trying to remember his wife's name, and I'm standing here, still your WiR World Champion!
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!
Flash: You see, what happened to Kevin Scott Jackson was no freak accident. It was the result of weeks of planning, weeks of work, and it was all my idea. You see, when I won my World Championship at Vintage!, I knew I was in no fit state to compete. My arm was barely working, I was battered, I was bruised. The top of the world, and I couldn't enjoy it. I had time to reflect. I saw what had happened to those who had come before me. Robert Warlock, the defeated hero now lost in a rivalry with that old fogie EVJ. I saw Sonny Carson, trying desperately to get a match any way he could. Hell, I bet he'd have licked Moxie Moon out if she'd offered him a World Championship match.
Woodbridge: Ewww.
Flash: And where oh where is Ryan Sunshine? They say he's out looking after his kid, but I'd bet he's facedown in some crack den in whatever godforsaken hellhole he calls home. The point I'm making is that every person who has held the WiR World Championship falls right to the bottom of the card when they lose it. As soon as they lose the belt, they're beating up old people or snorting meth off of a dead hooker. That was not going to happen to me. No way in hell. So I made a deal. I promised Mark Dutch a great sum of money, and in return he would help me keep my belt against Dean Arrow. But then I saw how KSJ had dealt with Sonny Carson, and I knew that I couldn't stop. This belt, this means the world to me, and I wasn't going to let that oversized highschool jock get his hands on my title. David Bader was offered a generous sum to keep his submission locked in for a few seconds longer. I had CJ and Kaitlyn slash Kevin's tires while I was in my match against Maverick. Did you stop and notice how Dutch never laid a finger on me when he beat up those 2 Texan idiots and Jackson a few weeks ago? Money makes the world go round, and trust me, I'm loaded.
Crowd: BOO!
Flash: About 5 years, me and my gambling buddies took a trip to Macau. Lovely place, great casinos. Anyway, we end up in the Pear & Arbor Hotel, the swankiest casino in town, and it turns out that poker is my forte. To cut a long story short, do you know how much money I walked away with that evening? 30 million dollars. That's more than most of you will ever see in your lifetime! Now granted, nearly all of that is locked up in some complicated trust fund shit that even my accountant can't explain, but I am still a very wealthy man. So now you're asking, if you're so rich, why do you wrestle still? Good question. Because I like hurting people. Plain and simple. I'm good at hurting people, my family is good at hurting people. That is what we do. And guess what? That makes me better than all of you!