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With the recent influx of new users - I decided to post a guide to Pump and Dump schemes - what they are, how to avoid them and how to move on from them
TLDR: Following the recent DOGE and XRP situations, and our influx of new users - I have decided to put together a quick guide on what a pump and dump is, how to spot it, how to avoid it, and what to do should you fall for one. This is just my thoughts on the issue and by no means exhaustive. I welcome comments and my biggest recommendation if you fell for one of these schemes is to accept it, address your emotions, seek support - either by those around you or here if you feel more comfortable, then commit to educating yourself.
Summary:
A pump and dump scheme is where a group of people pitch a coin (or stock) to other people to spike short term volume, and therefore the price, in order to profit from selling their own supply at the higher price to the newer investors.
How to spot a PnD:
Promises of huge gains
Forced short time frames to make a decision
No discussion of risk - or questioning permitted
The opportunity finds you, you don't find the opportunity
Comparison to recent success stories - e.g. GME (dubious whether this will even be a success long term for individuals)
Tips to avoid - see below but the main two for me are:
Recognise emotional decision making, in yourself, and when it comes from others (people you may normally trust). You need to recognise this behaviour, and cut it out at source. To step back and breathe.
Ask yourself, what are they selling me on, and why? If they find you, you are being sold. That is all there is to it.
What is a Pump and Dump scheme?
A Pump and Dump scheme (PnD from here on in), is where an investor, or group of investors promote a coin they already hold (or are purchasing) in order to cause positive sentiment and the price to rise. At this point these investors will then sell their coins to the newer investors, causing the price to crash and leave the people who fell for the PnD with a large potential loss, or coins which are now worth a lot less than the price they paid for them. These are not new and were traditionally done via phone call. If you have watched the Wolf of Wall Street, or similar films about penny stocks, you have seen this stuff in action. If you are buying, you are the retail investor who gets taken for a ride. With the recent influx of new users to this site, and following the PnD schemes surrounding Doge and XRP, lets take a look at how to spot a PnD scheme
How to spot a PnD scheme?
Promises of huge gains, in a short amount of time. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. In crypto (and stocks) if someone is talking to you about something, they are selling you their position. If it is positive - they likely own it, if it negative - they either want prices to fall or they hold a competitor. Ask yourself, why someone would be going out their way to tell you something is a once in a lifetime opportunity? If it was, they would be keeping it secret and accumulating themselves. These people are salesman, and you are the one buying the bullshit
Linked to the above there is often a time element - 'get in quick, or you will miss it', they are relying on your impulsive decision making to jump in - they are manipulating you to over ride the logical part of your brain which makes decisions based on information and context
There is no discussion of any potential risks or downsides, and you are removed from groups or harassed for asking basic questions - this is a hive mind at work, and you are being censored from raising any concern or legitimate question.
There may be reference to 'how this time is different', or it plays on recent successes which are in no way comparable - e.g Game Stop - anyone who paused for a second would realise why not only was financially the short squeeze on GME completely different, but also the moral stand point was too. XRP, for example, is a centralised system which enriches the founders beyond belief. Yet these groups tried to ride the sentiment of GME to convince others to join - as a show of rebellion and alliance.
Social media storms are cooked up, it seems like out of nowhere this is all anyone can talk about - when has this ever proven a successful decision? Once everyone is talking about it, you are already too late. You may not lose money, if you are lucky, but you are still the one being duped. Again this is feeding on emotion and Fear of Missing Out. There will be groups created and ran by mods who run them like cults - no talk of anything but price going up is accepted.
There is a time or plan attached - e.g. Pump and Hold at 8:30. For the love of god, if this is the case, sell before then. All the leaders of these groups will have done. All of these public announcements are done again to create legitimacy and make you feel at ease - as a collective.
Generally any concept of 'we are in this together', coming from a group trying to actively push up the price of something short term = PnD. You are not in this together, markets are competitive - they are survival of the fittest whether you like it or not. They want your money, when you listen to them - you are basically offering to hand it over. People invest to make money, especially when the entire premise is pushing a price up to get rich. They do not want what is good for you, they are using you and they will take your money if you allow them to. They are telling you, because you are the opportunity - not the coin.
Be aware, people telling you to hold and buy more, are using you. They want you to push the price back up so they can sell. If you are in these groups - on social media, be aware you may be talking to bots, or at the least people who are trying to dump on you. When it drops, get out.
How to avoid PnDs in future
'Why are they telling me this?' - this is the first and main question to ask yourself. What does the person sharing the information have to gain from telling me? In this case - you invest and push the price up, allowing them to make greater profit. Understand why they would be sharing details with you - if it such a great thing, why are they sharing it?
if it is a friend telling you, ask for more information - why it is doing well, what the plan is etc - if they can't explain it properly, this is a big red flag and they likely have fallen for it too.
Look out for how someone talks to you about it - is it emotionally driven, does it make you excited? scared to miss out? - This is exactly when you need to step back, breathe and ask yourself if you are thinking correctly. Emotional decision making is not a good thing here, and then ask if they are intentionally trying to get an emotional reaction out of you? (see the above - FOMO, get rich quick etc)
Is there any room for nuance? Are you able to discuss the potential cons or risk? If you are laughed at, or harassed, others are told to ignore you (he won't be getting rich, weak hands, pathetic seller) - this is a huge sign that you are investing in something where no other thoughts are allowed. The reason for this, once you are out the bubble - logic returns and you see the smoke and mirrors for what they are. PnD groups work like a cult, only one form of thinking is allowed, everything else is censored.
Did this come out of nowhere, do I even know anything about this? If you don't know anything about it, except it makes money, don't invest in it. This is a terrible decision for two reasons. Firstly, and most obviously, you have asymmetric information - you have no idea why and what you are buying, therefore can't make an informed decision - only an emotional one. Equally, this kind of thing pushes panicked, emotional selling. When you don't know fundamental reasons why you invest in something, when the price dips you will sell. Why? because when your brain asks you the question 'shit it is dropping, what do we do?!' - your logical brain won't have an answer, because you never gave it the information to form one. This second part is more relevant to regular investments, not PnDs of course, but is worth bearing in mind before you invest in anything.
Was the coin relatively stagnant, or has it dipped recently? PnDs typically target coins which haven't moved much recently, or have lower trading volume, this allows for a much easier spiking of the price due to a small change in demand equalling a big change in price. If you look at the charts and it was doing nothing until this big flurry of activity - you are being taken for a ride.
Look for the news, if it is pumping, don't listen to people inside the group - search for reasons why something is pumping. If you can't find anything of value, there probably isn't anything, and you are gambling on emotional decisions.
The opportunity finds you, you don't find the opportunity. Getting rich off 'undervalued' coins, or finding a hidden gem is not easy. They are hidden for a reason. If someone is coming to you with this, remember they are selling. You are buying.
If someone does approach you, talk to someone else outside of the bubble - find another group e.g. CC, or other investors - talk to them, get outside perspective before investing.
look for examples of populist sentiment. Do you hear things about an other? - e.g. haters, those missing out who are jealous. Are you made to feel like you are part of a special group? The ones with insider information? This is a lie, it is very very common manipulation within populist movements, cults etc - to create a narrative of an other to entrench tribalism within the group. This is done to make you switch your brain off, to rule on emotion.
is there a recent comparable story that was successful? e.g. GME (yes this isn't the same at all in reality, but the story being sold is - or at least plays on the hype of GME). If there is, you are being played. The real opportunity, just like the hidden gem, is the first one. When people tell you this is happening again, they are simply using the positive news from one case and applying it to their own - often because it lacks any actual, real, tangible reason for succeeding or being a good investment.
I fell for a PnD, what next?
Have you sold yet - No? Are you in profit? Sell. Whilst you still can. Greed will tell you not to, and perhaps you can eek out a little more money. But you are gambling, and gambling extremely high risk against people trying to take all your money.
Yes, you have sold. Did you make a profit? Yes - great. You are still a an idiot, just a lucky one. Tell yourself that. There is a difference between opportunist traders taking advantage of PnDs and someone getting lucky and getting out before it collapses. Do not confuse the two. The first group know what they are doing (and they may still lose, but they are aware of the real risk). You are fucking lucky. Don't do it again. So count your blessings, go through the same process of learning about PnDs and begin to understand why you fell for it, how to avoid it in future and realise you are up - you won. Don't go back in, you are asking to lose.
Yes you have sold? Did you make profit? No? Ok, this is normal - 90% + of people doing this will end up in the same situation.
Recognise and accept your mistake. Do not feel ashamed of it, it is ok. You were played, it happens to all of us in our lives at some point.
Step away from whatever device you used to invest. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WIN IT BACK RIGHT AWAY. You will most likely make things worse, investing again on emotions - even worse emotions now, shame, anger, disbelief.
Talk to the important people in your life if you feel comfortable, if not, come here or to other anonymous groups for support. It is important to share what happened, to vent emotionally whatever it is you feel.
Realise it is only money, even if gambled way more than you should have done, long term you will get out of this. Focus on other areas of your life for the time being - emotional investment, fulfilment and development - seek out things which may centre to your emotions again, whatever that may be - getting out in nature, cooking, reading, adrenaline sports - whatever the shit you need, do it.
Consider who, if anyone needs to know. Did you borrow from you and your wife's joint account? Accept a loan from a mate? These people need to know the truth. Do not hide it and hope to win it back. Tell the truth. They deserve it.
Do not repeat the same actions, if you want to win long term from this - you need a different approach. Step away from the high stakes casino and figure out long term strategies to make money.
Learn to diversify and manage risk. You are taking a huge gamble going all in on something - even if it isn't a scam, you need to protect yourself through diversifying your investments. Get rich quick schemes are the fastest way to lose money.
Educate yourself on these behaviours - I would recommend 'Thinking Fast and Slow' by Daniel Kahnemann as a personal favourite. This book helps to look at and address the biases that make up our emotional decision making, and learn how to recognise these and instead 'think slow'. You won't regret reading it.
Through this GME endeavor, most people overlooked one problem
We fucked with the upper echelon's money. They put their millions and billions in the trust of HFs. Then certain people realized some HFs made a miscalculated bet. Then the rest of us normies piled in, seeing the same problem. I forget who mentioned it, but when we were usually playing with their crumbs, they knocked over the whole fucking loaf two weeks ago when GMC closed north of 60 and every call was ITM. Three days of green dildos, love of a stock, and hurting billionaires was not going to last forever, so the CEO of NASDAQ suggests a need for HFs to "recalibrate" for this environment. The next day, normies are recalibrated to not even have additional access to the product (all while the upper levels could still trade recalibrate.) The following day, we're slowly reintroduced to the product with limited access. We get to 325 at close on Friday and celebrate, all the whole shares get worked back to 313. A week removed and we look around with those restrictions gone. The hands are still diamond, the apes are still strong, we still like the stock, but we must be punished in the meantime. Say this sub caused all this chaos and upheaval. Say we're chasing other short candidates that are short less than 100%. Say we're chasing some digital dog. Say we're pumping silver. Say we need SEC investigation. Say we need disbanding (makes for a good story line, book version may be better than the movie.) Enough noise from thousand dollar suits on camera deemed to be reputable, mixed with a few targeted ads, SM campaigns, and reposting of articles, and now we don't control the narrative. We were winning at a game they accidentally let us play for longer and deeper than intended. WSB must be sacrificed to the 🌈🐻 alter. We know our brethren are stuck at a higher price or may be sitting on a deeper loss, but we remain resolved in purpose. Perhaps one day, Alpha Centauri, but for now, we're trying to escape the gravity of our situation. There will be little to no justice for the true bad actors, for they are part of the cogs that turn our economic wheel. And again, we fucked with their money, so why should they care? A business decision was made to be fined millions at a later date than lose a couple more billion in one bad trade, of which we will see little of that settlement. The upside? This will happen again. So long as someone is trying to eek out a little more alpha, there will be another chance to jump on a billion dollar mistake (in your favor.) They're won't be any new regulations because, face it, those HFs have some congressional bucks in them and enough clout on K Street to keep their system going. Can't say where and when, but if you find it early, you're looking at some deep fucking value. Should someone else point it out to you, chances are you're late to the party and should dial back your expectations a little. And, perhaps next time, we take a little off the table when we're up, or maybe just step back when everyone else offline sounds like an expert on the subject. It's been a helluva a ride and bumpy as shit, but that's the market. But you're above terra firma, and that next opening bell for the world's largest casino is just around the corner. Perhaps Melvin & company is still short or even reshorted, or a whale could come in and acquire a bulk of the outstanding shares. We can dream big while grounded in our reality. As for my 133 shares? Come and take them...just not for what Mr. Market says they're worth right now.
Melissa always hated her job as a babysitter, mainly because she had to take care of bratty kids that would get angry if they didn't get what they want, but this incident made her quit. It was a Thursday night, Melissa was hired by a single mother to babysit her 12-year-old son while she went to a casino, the 12-year-old was named Tyler, he had peach toned skin, blonde hair and light-blue eyes, he was also wearing a blue shirt, dark-grey shorts and white socks. He seemed to be shy as he refused to say hello to you, as the mother leaves, Melissa thought that she can finally have a break of babysitting little shits, she wanted to have a chat with Tyler but instead, he just went upstairs into his room. You shrugged this off and watched TV. 5 minutes later, the mother hasn't returned yet and Melissa was about to doze off when suddenly, a figure with a white sheet over them gets in front of the TV, then the figure starts making "ooooo" sounds, she knew this was Tyler because she recognised his white socks but never heard his voice. "So this is what you sound like?" she thought to herself. You find Tyler pretending to be a ghost both funny and cute. "Alright, time for bed now" she said to Tyler as he still makes the "ooooo" sounds, Melissa yanks the white sheet off of Tyler, only to reveal that he was completely naked the entire time, she was so shocked that she even let out a loud "EEK!", Tyler looked like he didn't care about Melissa's reactions or him being butt-naked in front of a girl who's older than him, he just stared at her with a blank expression. Melissa then grabs Tyler by the arm and drags him to his room, upon reaching his room, she pushes the naked 12-year-old into his room "Put some clothes on and when your mom comes back; tell her THAT I QUIT!" Melissa roared at Tyler as she slammed his door shut. While Melissa drives her way home, she contacts the babysitter company and announces her retirement without giving any reason. Ever since that night, poor Melissa couldn't get the image of what she saw out of her mind. What would you do if that were to happened to you?
06-22 14:04 - 'Donald Trump is a lying, unqualified, draft dodging, gold star family disrespecting, POW attacking, US General insulting, racist, sexist, vulgar, confirmed sexual assaulting, trillion dollars to the rich tax cutting, own...' by /u/stupidfatamerican removed from /r/news within 18-28min
''' Donald Trump is a lying, unqualified, draft dodging, gold star family disrespecting, POW attacking, US General insulting, racist, sexist, vulgar, confirmed sexual assaulting, trillion dollars to the rich tax cutting, own daughter creeping, wife cheating with a pornstar after birth of son and paying her off to influence a presidential election, $413 million dollar inheritance getting, teen pageant dressing room invading, baby and mother separating, breast feeding mother shaming, fat-shaming while being fat, 17 women accusing him of sexual assaulting, accusers are not attractive enough for him to assault implying, university student defrauding, bankrupt casino causing, kids cancer charity stealing, taped detailed accusation of rape of a minor having, wife-beating, popular vote losing, anti-vaxxing, Christianity-faking, publicist impersonating, tax dodging, friends’ wives pursuing, impeached, foreign aid bribing, 1/3 of the presidency golf playing, free press assaulting, Hannity coordinating, Cambridge Analytica using, Ivanka is a “piece of ass” approving, loan application asset inflating, historically low polling, college achievement faking, unqualified judge appointing, unqualified cabinet member appointing, foreign influence on our election welcoming, tax release avoiding, birther conspiracy spreading, Ukraine ambassador targeting, Russian money taking, Kurdish ally abandoning, soldier brain injury downplaying, full morning “executive time” taking, Epstein befriending, Putin bowing, Kim Jong Un praising, North Korean general saluting, US intelligence denying, tallest building in lower Manhattan after 9/11 boasting, congress obstructing, nuclear non-proliferation deal ending, Justice obstructing, unqualified daughter and son-in-law appointing, healthcare cut targeting, pedophile candidate supporting, trump tower Moscow denying, mail-bomber inspiring, 4 out of top 5 largest protests in US history causing, green energy stifling, clean water regulation destroying, healthy school lunch ending, climate change denying, congressional and judicial branch attacking, economy does better under democrats saying, Goldman Sachs appointing, food stamp removing, emissions standards lowering, press conference avoiding, emoluments clause breaking, longest govt shutdown record holding, Saudi Arabia nuclear tech selling, golf cheating, time magazine cover faking, El Paso mass shooter inspiring, paying legal bills for roughing up protestors promising, killed soldier “knew what he signed up for” saying, pardon abusing, scumbag. Sources: •lying, [link]1 •unqualified, [link]2 •draft dodging, [link]3 •gold star family disrespecting, [link]4 •POW attacking, [link]5 •US General insulting, [link]6 •racist, [link]7 •sexist, [link]8 •vulgar, [link]9 •confirmed sexual assaulting, [link]9 •trillion dollars to the rich tax cutting, [link]11 •own daughter creeping, [link]12 •wife cheating with a pornstar after birth of son and paying her off to influence a presidential election, [link]13 •$413 million dollar inheritance getting, [link]14 •teen pageant dressing room invading, [link]15 •baby and mother separating, [link]16 •breast feeding mother shaming, [link]17 •fat-shaming while being fat, [link]18 •17 women accusing him of sexual assaulting, [link]19 •accusers are not attractive enough for him to assault implying, [link]20 •university student defrauding, [link]21 •bankrupt casino causing, [link]22 •kids cancer charity stealing, [link]23 •taped detailed accusation of rape of a minor having, [link]24 •wife-beating, [link]25 •popular vote losing, [link]26 •anti-vaxxing, [link]27 •Christianity-faking, [link]28 •publicist impersonating, [link]29 •tax dodging, [link]30 •friends’ wives pursuing, [link]31 •impeached, [link]32 •foreign aid bribing, [link]33 •1/3 of the presidency golf playing, [link]34 •free press assaulting, [link]35 •Hannity coordinating, [link]36 •Cambridge Analytica using, [link]37 •Ivanka is a “piece of ass” approving, [link]38 •loan application asset inflating, [link]39 •historically low polling, [link]40 •college achievement faking, [link]41 •unqualified judge appointing, [link]42 •unqualified cabinet member appointing, [link]43 ''' Context Link Go1dfish undelete link unreddit undelete link Author: stupidfatamerican 1: ww*.wash*ng**npost.c*m*p*l*tics/2019/12/**/pre*id**t-t**m*-h*s-**de-false-or-**slea*ing-claims*over**ays* 2: www.v*x.*om**olic*-*nd-p*litic*/201*/**/11/1**87**2/donald*trump-no-e*p**ien*e 3: 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Somewhere in the skies… Osakabehime: …… ……. (Ma-chan and their buddies are in a team against me!) (And they’ve got a real [Letter of Challenge], for a Swimsuit Swordmaster battle…!) (Oh, but Ma-chan. Sorry to say, but right now, this princess has power identical to Master Li Shuwen in his heyday!) (Fufufu…while you may not be a Swordmaster in honest, using my katana temporarily should make for a nice story later!) (Right now, I’m so totally strong that that great King was able to appoint me as a Swimsuit Swordmaster) (That obligation makes everything else trivial…and losing is completely out of the question for me!) (Let the match begin, Ma-chan!) Katsushika Hokusai: (Ueehh…I don’t take well to planes. If I fell out now, I’d very well die…)
[ (Disconcerting face) You okay?] / [What was that?] Option 1:
Katsushika Hokusai: Ee!? O-oh…I-I’m fine! Katsushika Hokusai could jump out of a plane once or twice and be just fine!
Katsushika Hokusai: L-lemme…borrow this for a sec. Miyamoto Iori: Aww. Oei-chan is tugging on Master’s sleeve. Getting all worked up is a good sign though, a really good one…! Osakabehime: (Aw, nice. This nobleness will defs inspire some manuscripts) Anne: My my, what is it, Okki? You look zoned out. Osakabehime: Agh. Urg. It’s nothing, nothing. Eli Mark II: Please prepare for battle, and do not lose yourself in some delusion, Osakabehime. Osakabehime: (…Fine, fine. I’ll focus on this battle, and not my manuscripts or whatever!) Helena: Okay everyone! The Zone’s all setup, so now’s the time to drop!
A buzzer goes off, starting the game.
Blackbeard: Okay, Let’s Dive! Dive! Diiiiiivvveeee!!! Oh, you’re here too, Master? This is still a battle though, so you’re gettin’ no special treatment from me!
[I’m equipment.]
Blackbeard: …Oh. Master’s been turned into equipment? Just some luggage? Anne: Equipment…? Mhm, interesting. Hmm… (Licks her lips) Helena: Alrighty everyone, let’s drop here! With Mahatma guiding you, there’s nothing to fear! Katsushika Hokusai: C-cheeky girl! Who said I was afraid? R-right, Mastah!?
[This terror is the norm for me] / [This feels like reyshifting…] Option 1:
Katsushika Hokusai: Wha-, t-the norm?
Option 2:
Mash: Yeah. It’s just like being transferred through the air like a reyshift does.
Branch merge:
Katsushika Hokusai: O-oh, okay. Then it’ll should be no problem to go together---
[M’kay, let’s go]
Katsushika Hokusai: Huh, nay, wait a moment, I’m still mentally prepa-
Helena: Everyone accounted for? Miyamoto Iori: Yep, Miyamoto Mus…Iori! Landed perfectly fine! Mash: Mash Kyrielight, together with Master, has landed successfully and unharmed. Fou: Foufo-u! Mash: Fou-san, were you in my backpack this whole time!? Do you actually like being crammed in tight places, like coffins…?
[Master’s over here] / [Oei-san successfully landed too!]
Katsushika Hokusai: Hm, huh? Its already done? Weren’t we supposed to fly? …A-ahem. Katsushika Ōi, landin’ successful! What, these ain’t tears or nothin’! Helena: Hooray! Thank you, Mahatma! Miyamoto Iori: Mu…enemies are already upon us. We can take ‘em if its just one team. Let’s clean them up, then get outta here!
--------------------------------------------------------------- You fight off the first team you encounter, which is composed of Diarmuid, Fergus, Fran, and Medb.
Fran: Bea-ten! Medb: So humiliating! Fergus: I may have lost, but I still have my manly pride! Diarmuid: Ah, honestly. I have no regrets, because I got to fight with my full strength!
The four of them collapse.
Katsushika Hokusai: Whew. They seemed easy for some reason. Don’tcha feel like that didn’t take much effort? Helena: Maybe it was just a bad matchup. Let’s look for more skillful opponents next! Miyamoto Iori: A win’s a win. We’ll fight however many teams we need to so we can finally face team HIMEJI! Oei-chan, ready to keep goin’? Katsushika Hokusai: Q-quite! No matter who they may be, I’ll deal with ‘em swifly! Miyamoto Iori: Okay, the Zone is gonna keep shrinking, so it’s gonna be too dangerous to stay here. Mash: Chances for close combat are high, so I’d like to move towards a place with more cover than not. Miyamoto Iori: Agreed. Let’s detour away from the desert, and move towards the village area from this jungle. Katsushika Hokusai: Y-yes, alrighty, I shall lead the way. Everyone, f-follow me!
She runs off. [Orei-san, that way leads to the desert---!]
Miyamoto Iori: Welp, there she goes again. But I do love the pep in her step! Anyways, let’s go after her before she reaches the desert!
Meanwhile, in the city area…
Osakabehime: Aw baby, 3 teams at once! This’ll give me some great commends later! Anne: With our responsibility as the unwavering, champion team, they should know better than to bother us all at once like this. Eli Mark 2: There is no getting around it. That same point makes it logical to attack us like this. More importantly, Osakabehime. You appear to be in peak performance today, did something stir you up? Blackbeard: Gozaru, gozaru, I’m Orochi, gozaru~♪ That charge attack before is nothin’ less of the typical tactics that Okki likes to use. Osakabehime: Oh, is it? Oh man, you’re makin’ me get all worked up… Blackbeard: Nah, it’s fine to be a lil’ reckless! Besides, we got our two pronged secret weapon. The Salty SUSHI. Osakabehime: Fufufu, that’s right… It might be a bit of a loophole in the rules, but it’ll give us a certain win! It was actually really easy to convince them to do it, even though they’re different from the norm. Were they really born among the harsh seas (over there)? Blackbeard: HA HA HA. You betcha. Anne: My my, it seems about time to slim down the team count. Me and her are going to go survey the areas. Osakabehime: Where? Anne: Hmm…Mk II said that Master and the others were around there somewhere, right? Eli Mark II: …Affirmative. When I had last sighted them, they were holding their own against an opposing team in the jungle. Since a majority of their team is better in close combat, they will chose not to go towards the desert…or so I believe. They are likely moving towards the village from the scary jungle. Anne: Oho, the village…well, I guess I’ll be going to take a look-see there then. Osakabehime: Huh? A look-see…do you really have to, now? With this shrinking pattern, we should go and assemble at the stronghold like usual, so we can get a better vantage point to sho— Anne: I have Independent Action, so when push comes to shove, just give me a holler. I’m~headin’~out~♪
Anne runs towards the jungle.
Osakabehime: S--------uper fast!? Who, what, where?! What in the, who the, how the!? Blackbeard: …Master…is equipment…in the village… Eliminate all of them...then nobody in the way... There’s no way…No, no no. Ms. Anne’s only a temporary Servant. It’s not like she could just change like a text format, and go from being an animal in fights to an animal in another way… WAIT, CRAP!! That pirate chick combo would totally pull out lock, stock, and barrel to trample all life in their way to be with Master! Osakabehime: Huh? Who? What? Where? When? Blackbeard: Eli Mark II! We’ll stay on standby here, but you gotta hurry and perform an emergency retrieval of Ms. Anne! Eli Mark II: …Understood. This important situation has put me at wits end as well. Vernier, starting up. Flight, ready..JETS, GO!
Mecha Eli takes to the skies!
Osakabehime: Hold on, Blackbeard---!? I-is everything okay? Aren’t they leaving the two of us at a serious disadvantage!? Blackbeard: Bein’ at a disadvantage is fine for this, ya hear---! Crap, it hurts how Ms. Anne’s an Archer with that skill! She just had go get that swimsuit to show off her boing-boings! Well, no, I’m still glad she got that! Okki. Us two are fine. It’s those two that’re in trouble! They’ll be astoundingly! Robbed away! If they’re with Master! There’s a good chance that those pirate chicks are running right into a trap! Osakabehime: GHWHAT!?
Back in the jungle…
Fou: Fou…
[I am equipment. Equipment is me. Equipment is all.] / [I’m good at giving tactics, y’know…] You flashback to when we formed our battle plan in the hotel.
Fūma Kotarō: ---To conclude my findings, Team HIMEJI are cheaters.
[…Figures.] / [Cheaters!?] Option 1:
Mash: Senpai, you guessed that already? You nod. Fūma Kotarō: Considering their team members, it’d be weird of them not too.
Option 2:
Fūma Kotarō: Yes. They are definitely cheaters.
Branch merge:
Katsushika Hokusai: What’s this all about? They’d gotta be utter boors to cheat, yeah!? Fūma Kotarō: Strictly speaking, they may not be. Although they’re technically scraping the rules to do this, I insist that they’re committing foul play. Mash: How do you mean? Fūma Kotarō: Please observe this video I recorded. Siegfried-dono, if you would be so kind as to explain. Seigfried: Understood. I shall explain using my overflowing intellect.
His glasses spark! [Overflowing intellect!] / [Did you glasses just twinkle!?] Option 1:
Siegfried: They are replicas of Sigurd-dono’s. Sigh…while I wish not to say so, mine are ultimately just imitations. Miyamoto Iori: Th-those glasses! That person looks sooooooooooooo cool with them! Such beauty (a beautiful man) & tenacity (a beautiful man)! I’ll definitely ask him to fight with me just once! ***
[Cut that out]
Miyamoto Iori: Tch.
Option 2:
Siegfried: Should you inquire towards any glasses wearing Servants, they’ll all say that they’ve done it once or twice before. Mash: Realy!? Then I can probably do it too!
An image of Fionn floats over Mash.
Fionn Mac Cumhaill: Sparkle…just like how I sparkle… Just like how I sparkle…!
The image fades.
Katsushika Hokusai: Who was that?
[Just a hallucination] / [Was that Fionn Mac Cumhaill real just now?] Branch merge:
Siegfried: Here we go. I’m starting the tape.
On the video, we see some mooks in a section of the jungle area filled with bamboo.
Gang Member: Huff, huff, huff. I-I finally caught up with ya’. It sure took some time…! Heheheh, but the payouts gonna be worth it. Anne: Kyaa, doon’t. (Monotone). What am I going to do now. Aah. Gang Member: What indeed, missy--- Hihihi, just keep actin’ all innocent! Samurai: Kukuku…I know what.
The two of them pull out the the Kiara themed “SFW Doujin” from Summerfes last year.
Samurai: I’ve got this dreamlike book with me, “The Bible of Shingon Tachikawa School”! And we’re gonna make you read it to us! Anne: Eat Dirt Samurai: Obviously you must take it seriously, and read the lines all lovey dovey like! Anne: (Lovey dovey? How should I do that) Nameless Undead: Ooh, I want you to read it in a big sister style. To be a bit specific, read it like you’re explaining it to an average salaryman, who has to keep up a rigorous, draining lifestyle day in and day out… Like how there’s a high schooler in their apartment complex living next to them (who strangely lives alone) and they say to the salaryman, “Salaryman, you’re so unhappy. I dunno why you don’t just have kids.” Which makes the salary man open a can of beer and grumble while the chill touches his hands, and then the salaryman objects by saying “Please don’t treat me like a kid”, then laughs with a fufufu, but then the high schooler leans in close with a charm they can’t possibly have and goes, “You want me to treat you like an adult?” please whisper it to us just like if you would please and thank you! Gang Member: That, wow, that was a lot. Samurai: I’m so sorry. Please forget all that.
Mary slides in!
Mary: Gimme a break! Obviously she wouldn’t read this junk to you idiots! Three Men: Wha!?
Mary slices at the three men!
Anne: Uhh, here we go…”That’s right. I said I’ll join you in the temple.” Mary: Stop. Please. Gang Member: W-wait…doesn’t your team…have one too many…? Mary: Me and Anne Bonney are a package set. We’re two people as one Servant. So there~. Gang Member & Samurai: T-that’s cheati---
The two of them fall, defeated.
Nameless Undead: …your femininity…it feels like an intimate older sister that I had from a long time ago so maybe you ca-
They fall, defeated.
Mary: That’s the last of ‘em! What was that crap about an older sister…? I sure ain’t one, especially not to you!
The undead rises with the last of its strength…
Nameless Undead: (Lmao) Mary: I’m gonna blast you straight to hell!
Mary shoots and clobbers the undead into submission, and the video ends.
Siegfried: …And so, their additional member counts as cheating. Mash: ……… Fūma Kotarō: ……… Miyamoto Iori: ……… Katsushika Hokusai: ……… Gordolf: I want to believe that was just a nightmare.
[What an low cheat…] / [Just who was that Nameless Undead?] Option 1:
Mash: Yes. But it’s true that Anne-san and Mary-san are a two in one Servant. How eliminating one takes care of the other too might come in handy though… We might be able to use their own preparations against them.
Option 2:
Mash: Senpai, Senpai. You should focus on what’s important right now… Siegfried: I also feel that we should shelf that mystery for now. Yes, we need to be serious about this…!
Branch merge:
Fūma Kotarō: Anyways, we should focus on Mary Read first. Conversely, if we can take out one of them, there’s reason to believe the other would go as well. I think that we could take advantage of this loophole, since this would still take them out in the end. Siegfried: Yes, this Anne Bonny pair is like their trump card. Once we deal with them, then our chances will broaden to take out Osakabehime. Maybe she can be lured in with someone… Katsushika Hokusai: Ye be sayin’ ye want to go fishin’ for her. Fūma Kotarō: Yes. We just need to decide what “bait” would work. Mash: Treasure might work. Ann-san and Mary-san are both famous pirates, after all. Miyamoto Iori: Hmm…that’s true. But wouldn’t it feel really fake to find treasure just laying around in the middle of a fight like this? Mash: You’re right… Katsushika Hokusai: Ye gotta lessen yer horizons. Siegfried: Let’s see, those two like: treasure, alcohol, making a scene, and… Fūma Kotarō: Oh, that… Miyamoto Iori: Yep, yep…
All three of them stare at you. [You don’t mean…]
The Three of Them: …… …That’ll work! Mash: Yes, it will! NOT! Katsushika Hokusai: Nn?? Have ye found the bait? N-nay, ye don’t mean…
We move back to now, a moment before we flashed back.
Miyamoto Iori: …Alright, let’s do it like we planned. Mash: But, will you really be okay? Master…
[I’ll…probably be fine] / [Please gather my bones later]
Option 1: Miyamoto Iori: Yep, just trust us, Master! Option 2: Miyamoto Iori: They’ll be fine, they’ll be fine. Bones and flesh will be leftover!
Our flashback flashback is interrupted by Mary finding us.
Mary: …H-huh? Master! What’re you doin’ here?
[I got lost…]
Mary: Well, guess I gotta help you then. Oh, but didn’t you come here with others, Master? …Huh, you’re just equipment now? I see. I’m the same way… I feel you. While I’m part of Anne, but I’m obviously also yours, Master. …and…seeing you alone like this…as something to be used… Hmm…
She gets closer.
Mary: Hmm, hmhm.
Closer…
Anne: Nice, found you---! Mary: WAH, ANNE! Anne: C’mon, get away from them for a sec. Mary: This isn’t what we planned. Aren’t you supposed to just babysit Okki, Anne? Anne: Heehee! I heard Master was in the village, so I utilized my Independent Action. Mary: Jeez, fine then. Guess us three. Will have to go. Together. Anne: Yep ♪ Just. Us. Three <3 Master. Master, you’re just equipment, right?
[Well, you could say that]
Anne: Yep, if you’re equipment, then we’ll have to handle you with care! Ah. I mean, we can’t just handle you roughly. We gotta be delicate--- Mary: We’ll have to keep you close. Anne: Close enough to rub against. Mary: Not like normal either. Anne: Reeeaallly pushed up to us <3 Mary: Just close your eyes for us, Master <3
[Uh…girls…]
Girls: Hm?
[I’m sorry.]
Girls: Ah! ! !
They cancel their embrace as Miyamoto appears!
Miyamoto Iori: Good job! A little slower, and you would’ve been done already! Helena: This won’t go quite as we planned it would, but the both of you should still be fine to handle! Anne: Kyaaa! I got trickedddd! Mary: I knew I felt something off about this! Anne: Mary, did you just forget that the moment you found Master!? Mary: We’ll handle that like pirates later! Right now, we gotta take care of these guys ourselves! Miyamoto Iori: Fufuuu, you got a buddy, but there’s still 4 of us. Mary: Don’t rub it in…! Miyamoto Iori: I won’t overlook you, even if you utter some useless drivel in a cowardly position! Helena: Strange. I feel like I’m a villain for some reason. Hm? Mash, Orei-chan, is something bothering you? Mash (Blushing): S-sorry! Watching over this scene with her heart racing a little, I’m Mash Kyrielight! More importantly, I’m the one who’ll be going home with Master today! Katsushika Hokusai (Blushing): Err, ehh… Y-ye were gonna…just do that, in the open… I-I can’t even think a’ doin’ that… Anne: Aww, cute. Mary: Anyways, Master, wanna pick up where we left off? Katsushika Hokusai: B-but… Miyamoto Iori: ……Okay! Let’s just brush off this nasty feeling in the air and wipe the floor with these chicks! Anne & Mary: We’ll settle things with violence---!
--------------------------------------------------------------- You fight off Summer Anne & Bonny!
Anne: Annnhe <3 Mary: …Did you just do a pun with a moan…? Whatever, this is as far…as I go, too…blagh.
The pirates fall to the ground. [Are you two okay?] / [Well, we won…] Option 1:
Anne: Oh, yeah. We’re still all riled up. <3 But it’s too bad we lost now. You could’ve left here as an adult.
Option 2:
Katsushika Hokusai: Wow, this foreign woman sure was raised right to get so big.
She smacks up Anne.
Anne: Touching them comes with a price y’know~…Hrrg. Katsushika Hokusai: Lay still for a moment. I needa sketch you out while you’re like this.
Branch merge:
Eli Mark II: I heard the announcement. Anne and Mary have been defeated.
[You can fly?]
Eli Mark II: I can do this and that. I am innately equipped with such Skills to do so. My Noble Phantasm was in fact summoned forth at the sea for a greater purpose. Summer Jeanne (memory): Yay! Now the dolphins can fully enjoy this world too! Reece (Her dolphin): Ee-ee, eek, ee, ee, eeek, ee! (Translation: I have no comments towards that gruesome device.)
[I see…]
Mash: B-back to the matter at hand… Eli Mark II: I will be retreating from here in a moment. I will be waiting for you at the Chosen Battlegrounds. Siegfried: You don't plan to fight, now that your trump card is gone? Eli Mark II: Hmph. You believe that was our only trump card? Your glasses must be rose tinted.
Mecha Eli takes to the sky after giving Siegfried a burn debuff.
Siegfried: My glasses…they aren’t…they are not…!
[I didn’t think he could be shocked!]
Miyamoto Iori: Hohum, so they have another trump card… Any ideas, you guys? Siegfried: ……… Yes --- it’s just as I suspected. (Extremely pensive expression) Katsushika Hokusai: Huh? Mash: …Yes, it hast to be that scary thing. The finale from that Halloween Trilogy, etched into the minds of Chaldeans---, that final, legendary fight against---!
[That idiotic giant robot…!] Meanwhile, in front of the Čachtice Pyramid Himeji Castle, Osakabe waits with the giant…
Osakabehime: That’s right, my ultimate, secret weapon is none other than Giant Mecha Eli-chan…! ……Yeah.
The Himeji castle was only a memory of Osakabe, who's still in the city.
Osakabehime: SO WHERE'S IT AT! Eli Mark II: …Well, hm. It would be impossible to bring it here, but that does not mean I do not have my cheat code for it. Osakabehime: Cheat code? Eli Mark II: Yes, I mean---
We cut back to our group.
Siegfried: Even for this Las Vegas Singularity, it’d be difficult to have that. But…perhaps they have some sort of skill to utilize it to a certain degree? Mash: Oh…like how they can fire missiles out of nowhere… Katsushika Hokusai: Missairu? How?
[It’s one of the mysteries of the world]
Katsushika Hokusai: Ah… Wow Mastah, how nonchalant! But Katsushika Ōi can handle a missairu or two, because I got Hokusai-sama’s super cuttin’ ability! Miyamoto Iori: Yeah, yeah! I’d say that being able to cut missles and bullets is one of the first steps of a swordsman! When I get the chance, aside from slicing at enemies, I spit or blow sand in their face to catch ‘em off guard! Siegfried: So long as their missles aren’t A rank of higher, we should be fine. But I have a rising suspicion that they’re going to be like that now. Katsushika Hokusai: …Aye, I see. It’d be a problem for any swordsman… ‘Ey, Mastah, ye think that Nihon’s greatest swordsman here can handle it?
[O-rei-san can totally handle it]
Katsushika Hokusai: …Ehehe, yer right! I’d be glad to give ye my autograph in advance, Mastah! Siegfried: I’ve just received a report that the remaining teams have been taken out by Osakabehime’s. …I want to believe that this amazing feat wasn’t thanks to a trump card… But no, we shouldn’t rush in unprepared for such. I’ll prove to her that these glasses aren’t rose tinted at all…! Fou: Fou…
It's been a long while since we've poured the water folks, but at last we've got ourselves a banner with new units to scour. We're still in full swing with the second Anniversary fiesta, and the most recent patch was a pretty big one. Lot's of new toys at our disposal (Cactuar fusing is finally here!) But our big focus is going to be on the units themselves. As always, we've got a small selection of other offerings from the community here and abroad to supplement your bathing experience. Without adeu:
Howl's yet to post a video (as of the posting) that covers the banner.
Evillaugher1 is also yet to release a direct video on the banner.
Raegen: The front and center man on the banner doesn't disappoint. Almost all of his Abilities deal damage and come with additional breaks/supportive stuff baked in with the cost. Dual Wield and chains with the Orlandeau family through Erythrite Blade makes this unit extremely Fresh Player friendly. The kit aside, his TMR is 50% High Tide and up to 60% in ATK passives with Katanas, Swords, Daggers, and Great Swords makes it extremely flexible for your gearing needs. Fire and Ice are his elements, so if you've got two male butler units; you know where their TMRs belong.
Zile: This guy's the 'RNG' (Ranger) type unit I've been looking forward to. He's got an extremely limited weapon selection. His Abilities are tree'd, much like Prishe's and Yda's monk Abilities. His tree path is all about building up his LB (it's extremely expensive at 60 LB Crysts), but hits insanely hard. If you happen to have a TDH set of TMRs, and no good TDH unit, Zile's gonna be your buddy here. His TMR is also a discount Prishe's Hairpin with 36 ATK on it instead of 45. Trade off is you get 31 more DEF and Paralyze Immunity on it. A worthy trade indeed!
Ryumynui: This is the discount bard Edward wishes he could be. Her buffs are 65%, one 80% with a one turn prep to get there. However, the thing of note with Ryu here is her LB. It's a flat HP/MP heal, and on the insanely cheap side (20 LB Crysts). 100% HT means you can spam this 36-60% HP heal/31-55% MP refresh each turn. Her TMR is also ok, it may jump in priority for you if your healer is CK Ariana. All in all, a pretty damn good discount bard on offer here folks.
Lucille: The poor man's Amelia. She comes in at a 3* base, so her usefulness is always going to be handicapped. That said, she's got AoE 70% Lightning resist in Barthundaga if you're still having issues with Ramuh, and also works as a stop-gap (the puns!) on your Arena team until you've got a group of Ashe's or the aforementioned Amelia to replace her with. The TMR is also note worthy at 120 ATK gun with Lightning Elemental damage on it, and it's not 2-handed.
Banner Over all
Fresh Players: It's become a bit of a trend to see most of the units on the banner, even the 3* base be something you'll find useful starting out. This banner continues this tradition. Raegen here is simply put, a better Orlandeau that also happens to chain with him. Both 4* bases are serviceable for you. Even the 3* base has some uses in the Arena until you've pulled a few better units that you can replace her with.
F2P <6MO: Bottom up, the 3* base has a solid TMR, as does Zyle if you've yet to pull Prishe. Ryumynui's got a fairly good LB, and Raegen is gonna be the prize with his stellar kit and flexible TMR. Pulling here though is subjective, as only you know what your account needs. If your a fan of the Veritas', the first one up is a pretty damn good start.
F2P >6MO: Same as above. You should be able to comfortably skip pulling on this banner if you're team is set, and TMR'd up. Zyle, and Lucille being the TMR standouts, aside from the obvious Ragen.
Vets: Raegen is what you're after here. Godspeed in you pulls!
Non-macro: Being that the gamut of the above can reside here, it's up to you to decide if your up to pulling here. Do note that we've got a metric $#@%ton of Moogles over the past two weeks, and there's even more to come. All told, you folks should be able to pull down about 3 100% moogles (or more) by the end of the extravaganza, so do keep that in mind while pulling. The serviceable kits for you folks will be Raegen (obviously), and Lucille for your Arena needs (if needed). Ryumynui can also act as a healer in a pinch if her LB is capped, but is better served as a mana battery if it's not.
*these stats do not incorporate passives. E= requires equipment to gain annotated bonus The first Veritas out of their armor is the old Darklord himself. The father of Rain (no spoilers needed, it's in the unit bio) has a deal to offer up in his kit. Let's take a look. The first ability to look at his Blue Blade Ruin. It's a Libra that also comes with a small hit and a 40% ATK/MAG Break for 2 turns to a Single Target. If your team doesn't have a Libra on it somewhere, Raegen's got ya covered for the first encounter. Instant Flash is the next utility-esque Ability. It's an AoE 1 hit also with small damage, but it's cheap and also refunds 18 MP back to your entire team. With the DW, that's 36MP for it's 15MP cost. Soul Blazer is up next, as another ST 3 hit Ability that increases your parties Resistances to Fire, Water, Wind, Earth, Light, and Dark by 50% for 3 turns. It's somewhat on the MP intensive side though at 64MP, but the bang for your buck in coverage here is pretty damn good. Mountain Dive is his 'Full Break' Ability, ST 3 hits with small damage going out. It's also on the high cost side for MP, and there are better breaks you'll get from your breakesupport once you've got your team established, but it's there if you're still getting your team set. Hero's Edge is a lot like his son's Leadership Ability, but also comes with a slightly harder AoE 3 hit. The buffs are at 60% and last for 3 turns. Much like Mountain Dive, it's there if you need it; but most established accounts will be able to look over this Ability. Burning Blood is a ST 3 hit that also has Fire Element on it, that also happens to increase Raegen's LB by 6 Crysts. If you've got a HT buff up, you can skip this one too. Erythrite Blade is the what you're after here folks. It's a ST 7 hit (chains with the Orlandeau family) that Imperils Fire and Ice by 60% for 3 turns. Elbis' and Erwin's TMRs, please report to the Raegen department. This brings us to his last Ability, Complete Awakening. It doesn't run you any MP, as it's cost is a full LB gauge from Raegen. If you decide to forgo Secret Slash Attack (his LB), you're buying Raegen a 3 turn 200% Buff to his ATK/MAG/DEF/SPR stats, 30% Damage taken (ALL), a 6,000 on a x15 mod Heal (split over those 3 turns), and a 20MP 0.2x mod Refresh (also split), all for 3 turns. The 200% buff to his combat stats is pretty enticing, but I do believe it's a dps loss to burn the turn to buff over going with his LB and continuing to spam out Erythrite Blade. If any math-magicians would care to chime in below, feel free to do so. That covers his Abilities, but Sir Raegen here also happens to have a few spells he can cast too. Firaga and Blizzaga are there to help you cover those elements. Raise and Curaga though are welcome on your dps, in the event things get a little hairy. Lastly, he's got Barblizzaga/firaga that confer your team a 70% Resistance to Ice/Fire respectively for 3 turns. The magic here shouldn't be used too often, but are welcome in the kit regardless. In his Passives, Dual Wield comes stock on Raegen. We've also got some passive stat buffs noted above. The real pleasure though is that we've got four Equip Masteries you can choose from when it comes to getting the most out of your Raegen. Those weapons are Sword, Dagger, Katana, and Great Swords that'll boost his ATK by 50% for equipping any of those four (but only triggering once per weapon type). The previous statement about Elbis' and Erwin's TMRs holds true here, as equipping both is a solid 100% ATK boost, and cover both of his elements neatly. Doing so will unlock at least one slot for any Killer Passive you want to put on him for the weeks particular event/trial boss. He's also got Clear Will, which is a modest 1,800 (1xSPR) Heal at the end of your turns, a 10% MP Refresh, and 2 LB Crysts per turn. So, taking a soak with this kit here, we can see that his base kit is extremely Fresh Player friendly. DW stock and a nice range of weapons to choose from make his gearing options pretty flexible. His chaining capabilities with the Orlandeau family also make him a pretty good Friend unit to put up. The rest of the kit will see use as you begin to build your team comp, but will really begin to hone in on Erythrite Blade once your team finally takes shape. As stated thrice now, the two biggest TMRs for you to go after are Elbis' and Erwin's to really help Raegen dish out some solid numbers whilst taking advantage of his dual Imperils nicely. Running him out of MP will be rather hard to do with Clear Will too, unless you're spamming out Hero's Edge (which you won't); so don't be afraid to go ham with him. When you look at gearing your dps units, you want a TMR that's either a specialist (high in one stat), or really good with it's flexibility. Raegen's TMR does both. Hero's Vow - Dark has 4 different weapon types for you to select from, each one granting your equipped unit a solid 30% boost to ATK for equipping one of those four options; meaning you can get 60% ATK out of one Materia slot. 50% High Tide on top of all that is extra gravy for this salisbury steak. TMR Materia's like this going forward are going to be much more coveted as with the advent of the 7* era, the JP version also saw the Passive cap raise from 300% to 400% about four or five months after it landed. Looking at Raegen's LB, Secret Slash Attack, you'll see it hits like a bus dropped from low orbit. Uncapped, we're talkin' a solid AoE 7 hits with 9.6x mod that also Imperils Fire and Ice by 76% for 3 turns. Capped? Well, that's where the low orbit comes in. The mod slides to 12x and the Imperil jumps to 100%. If you pull Raegen and intend to use him on your team, cap this. The only prohibitive/negative thing I've got to say it's it's cost is 36 LB Crysts. Still though, you're getting a lot for those 36 Crysts with his LB. Raegen's 7* form is beastly folks. First up is his TMR Equip Passive for awakening him to 101. If you slap Hero's Vow - Dark into one of those Materia slots (and you should), all of his 5-6* Abilities get an additional 2x mod added to them. Further more, he also gets an additional 40% TDW (+40% Equipment ATK) when Dual Wielding. That's a big thing because you will be DW'ing with him, and this ups his primary dps Abilities mod to 6.8x. 105 see's him get two new Abilities and one Passive. The first Ability runs 60MP and is a 2.8x AoE 1hit that also fills his LB by 2-3 Crysts. The second Ability costs 58MP and sports a 3.45x mod that's a ST 8 hit (6 frame data, Chains with an upcoming group dubbed Absolute Tranquility. Thanks to u/fourrier01 and u/crushedMilk for the heads up on this) with 50% ignore DEF (6.9x mod). The Passive is a 30% Elemental Resistance boost to Fire, Ice, and Dark Elements. 110 houses his two CD Abilities. Both open up on the 4th turn and each has a 3 turn CD and both come in at 99MP. The first one is a 14.5x ST 7 hit (Orlandeau frames) that Imperils Fire by 100% for 2 turns and adds Fire Element to him for the same duration. The second is for his other Element, Ice. Same 14.5x mod, but this one hits 8 times (with 6 frames, no clue on who it chains with). Same goes for the Imperil to Ice and buff duration. 115 has the stock 20% Passive boost to a stat, this ones to his ATK. Which brings us lastly to his 120 Capstone Passive. It's a 20% boost to his HP/MP, along with DEF/SPR. He'll also gain 2 LB Crysts per turn, and an additional 50% HT. His 7* form carries on with the dual Elements of his base kit, and really turns up the heat with his TMR Equip Passive to put your foes on ice in short order. If you luck out and manage to pull two of him on banner, cap his LB (This patch also normalized the LB up rate) and set aside some of the TMR moogles we're getting from the 2nd Anniversary to fuse into the dupe.
Is he a Unit of Choice ticket candidate?
I'm going to go with a yes here folks. Much in the same way Sephiroth power-crept upon the once mighty Orlandeau, Raegen does the same here with two other elements. His stock will also rise significantly if you happen to be sitting on our GLEX (currently) Fryevia with her Enhancements. His 6* form is pretty damn good to start with, and gets better in the 7* era. Couple this with his flexable TMR to help you eek out 60% more ATK with weapons that have been shown a lot of love with different Elements to choose from here and you've got a nearly complete package. He's not one of those meta-defining units, but he's certainly no slouch either. In the Arena: Eh, he's got a few AoE abilities, but the low mods on them and the lack of Counters in his kit don't make him the most savory unit you could bring here. There's better units to put on your team here over our man Raegen.
So, how does Raegen fare out of the box?
Fresh Players: I did mention at the end of his 7* soak that he's nearly the complete package. For your crowd, this is correct. Raegen's got a dabble of everything you need to help you get yourself through the main story, and will more than likely remain on your core team as you begin to piece that team together. As stated earlier, Elbis and Erwin both have TMR's that you need to take full advantage of his dual Elements; but isn't something you have to drop everything to get. If you've pulled Raegen, you've got a unit that's set to remain on your team well into the 7* era.
F2P <6MO: There's a good chance you folks have potentially one Hyomoto laying around (probably on an Orlandeau if you've got a Fryevia) and are most of the way through Elbis' TMR. Get this man on your ES party because his TMR is pretty damn good, doubly so if you've pulled two of em (do note, his TMR is limited to one per unit, but it is just that good to have two of). If you've got a geared up 'Landeau, gearing his replacement will be super easy for you.
F2P >6MO: Same as the above, your Orlandeau is about to hit bench status, and Raegen's the reason why.
Vets: I'm looking forward to seeing the damage output videos some of you put up on YT with him front and center.
Non-macro: This man devoid of his TMR, and other TMRs is still a high functioning unit. I'm going to urge you to get his TMR though with the load of TMR moogles we've been getting recently though. Like, highly urge you to do so. The 60% ATK boost for the weapons that the Materia functions on all have some pretty good Elemental coverage, or raw ATK as you simply can not go wrong here.
*these stats do not incorporate passives. E= requires equipment to gain annotated bonus When I zee Zile, I can't help but think: "That's the love child of a RNG and COR from FFXI". What's our cannoneer have on display for us? Before we get to the 'tree' of his Abilities, let's cover the ones that lie outside of it. Spreadshot is a cheap, low damage hit to all enemies. Heavy Shell is moderate AoE 1 hit that's somewhat expensive. That leaves us with Blank Fire, an 80% ATK/MAG buff for 3 turns on the expensive side at 80MP. In the paltry passives on show, Zile's got a very low 60 HP heal with a 1.2xSPR mod at the end of your turns. The rest of his passives are already annotated above Because he's got a branching path set of abilities, we'll be breaking out the graph to help folks visualize how to navigate the path.
Heavy Reload
Unlocks
24MP, +4 LB
Super Reload, Powerful Shell
1st level
Unlocks
Super Reload (30MP, +8 LB)
Devastating Reload, Super Shell
Powerful Shell (lvl 1 cash-out)
AoE 1 hit 5.5x Critical hit, 34% chance to fail
2nd level
Unlocks
Devastating Reload (36MP, +12 LB)
Forbidden Reload, Exploding Shell
Super Shell (lvl 2 cash-out)
AoE 1 hit 10x Critical hit, 12% chance to fail
3rd level
Unlocks
Forbidden Reload (60MP, +16 LB)
Exploding Shell
Devastating Shell (lvl 3 cash-out)
AoE 1 hit 15x Critical hit, 12% chance to fail
4th level (0MP)
Final cash-out
Miraculous Shell (20%)
AoE 1 hit 26.5x, +20 LB Crysts
Exploding Shell (80%)
AoE 1 hit 26.5x to all allies
The jist of his kit is all about powering up his cannon for a number of turns, each turn unlocks either the option to 'double down' on his damage, or cash out with the shell for that level. The entire path will run you 150MP, but will also see you earn minimum 40 LB Crysts, or 60 if you get the Miraculous Shell, which means you've got enough to pop his LB off. Do note that 80% of the time, you'll be cratering your party with the final payout, which makes the whole Reload tree pretty much moot. After a soak with his kit, he makes more sense if you go with his LB over the Reload tree. This will require a second unit in your group to be his dedicated Entruster to really take advantage of his DPS. You can still opt to go the Reload route, especially if your going for a hefty chain finishing hit for numbers that'll make a Vegas Casino owner blush over. Gear wise? This mans a 4* base built with a TDH build in mind with the mods on show. If you're in that odd position where you've got 200% (or even 250% with Explorer Aileen's TMR), and no feasible TDH unit to put those god-mode TMRs on; I highly suggest you give this guy Zile a ring. Zile's TMR, Bomber's Bicorne is the cheaper knock-off version of Prishe's Hairpin. If you've got aforementioned TDH TMRs, and are sans a Prishe; pick up that phonograph and Morse code our man here. His LB, Knightly Crossfire is actually pretty boss. The major con to this LB though is it's cost, which comes in at a staggering 60 LB Crysts. As mentioned in the soak, if you intend to be using him seriously; you'll want to bring an Entrust unit to help speed him to this hard hitting LB. At it's base, we're talking about shelling your foes with 3 salvos coming in at a 14.8x mod. Cap this and it ups to 17.2x. The 3 hits is what makes it scary. If you have LB pots -after- you've capped your fresh 7* units, Zile's one of them units that might be worth a look. In the Arena: No. Mods are too low on Heavy Shell to hit cap, he's got meh for HP, and no Counters. Yes, I'm Edna Mode when it comes to units without Counters in the Arena. ... Confront the problem. FIGHT! WIN! And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.
So, how does Zile fare out of the box?
Fresh Players: He's going to be hard for you folks to really get the most out of him. His kit is built around some rather prohibitive TMRs to really take advantage of his output. That said, if you pull both him and Ryumynui; she's a great unit to use as his Entrust partner to help you clear away foes in short order. Be sure to pick up his cannon from the Story Event for a cheap weapon to get you started on your war path.
F2P <6MO: Ah, now were starting to get into the crowd that'll really be able to take advantage of this kit. Maybe not completely, but closer.
F2P >6MO: Closer yet. Go on, give him a spin if you've got an open slot and a penchant for large numbers.
Vets: I dunno about you folks, but I might be faffing with him while I wait for Ang to get his 7* for $#@%s and giggles.
Non-macro: Eh, I don't think Zile's gonna be your cup of tea folks. I mean, you can get some good numbers out of him. No doubt, but not the same numbers folks with some hefty TMRs will be raining down. The sprite looks good though, and the animations are on point.
*these stats do not incorporate passives. E= requires equipment to gain annotated bonus The third stab for discount bard unit is here. Does Ryumynui have the gusto to perform accolades for your party or is she a whoopee cushion? Analyze on your Support unit these days is stock. Filling up the monster-dex means this is a requirement somewhere in your party. Hide is here in her kit to help you with Hide cheese strats. Pacify is a cheap ST Dispel she can whip out as needed. Alluring Air comes in on the cheap and is a 30% chance to inflict Confuse to all foes. This one's a hard pass. Escape is here to nope out of those preemptive battles your looking to avoid in the Bahamut Exploration. Ah, here we are. The first Ability worth a mention on her, that being Entrust. There's a reason I put Zile first in the review over his female contemporary here. See, these two work pretty damn well together. Yes, Ling would be a better fit for Entrust, but she's time limited. Ryumynui on the other hand is unfettered by this 'limited time' notion. Her cheap LB cost (20 Crysts) and own Eccentrick via Passionate Bullet means she will fill up her LB every turn. Recall the mods on Knightly Crossfire, and you've got a handy way to keep the gunpowder hot. Now, while we've just covered one of her bardic Abilities, there are four left to cover. Healing Cantilena is a somewhat weak HP/MP Refresh that's split over 3 turns as she sings. A Song for Praise is an AoE 65% full stat boost for 3 turns while singing. Charming Warm-up is the TL;DR one turn Ability you'll need to use in order to unlock General's Tale. Before we move to that though, Charming Warm-up does have a 30% Damage Mitigation (ALL) tied to it. The downsides to this is that it only lasts for one turn, and is limited to Ryumynui only. General's Tale combines Healing Cantilena and a slightly more robust Song for Praise into one. The HP/MP Refresh is pretty weak, but the stat buffs jump to 80%. In her Passives that aren't already in the Stat Graph, we've only got to cover Nomad Poet. Just a simple 100HP+8MP you'll Regen with every 4 steps taken in explorations. Right, let's soak on this one... There's a lot left to be desired here from the third stab at a discount bard. Her base kit without really taking a look at her LB isn't anything spectacular. If you're filling your slot with a bard, you'll be looking to fill it with either of the big 4; those being Ramza, Lunera, Roy, or MS Nichol. That said, she's got a few uses for budget builds or Fresh Players. Her Entrust and Passionate Bullet make for an instant LB every 3/4 turns, meaning any high LB cost unit can just skip right to it with this combo. The other useful side to her kit is her LB. I'll leave that for it's own section though. Ryumynui's got a TMR, and it's not anything you'll be farming hard, unless you've got Charming Kitty Ariana. So, outside of this limited time healer, the TMR's got almost no uses. I'll be blaming the 2-handed tied to it. 26 MAG and 102 SPR is pretty meh for a niche Weapon type. HP+20% though is decent, as is the 1 LB Cryst a turn via Auto-limit; but it's all brought back to reality with the two-handed weapon classification. Remove that and it turns into a serviceable TMR in my eyes (says the man with Lunera as his primary bard). Her LB is the other juicy bit in her kit that we haven't gone into depth on yet. One Boy's Odysseia comes in at 20 LB Crysts, and it's base function is 36% HP and 31% MP refill to your party. Yup, that's a flat percentage you'll be getting back. Cap this and the HP side jumps to 60% and the MP half to 55%. Recall that Passionate Bullet? This is spammable with 200% HT up, which can make your team close to invincible if your tank can soak all damage and remain above 40% HP. Just like I said with Zile, Ryumynui's LB is worth a look after you've capped your 7* units. In the Arena: She's got no Counters, and her one 'attack' Ability is an AoE 30% Confuse. Hard no.
So, how does Ryumynui fare out of the box?
Fresh Players: There's a serviceable kit here. She'll eventually be traded out for one of the big four listed earlier, but she's still gonna find her way onto budget builds I think with her low LB cost, Entrust, and damn fine LB.
F2P <6MO: You folks can pass on her. If you're lacking a bard, try your luck here; but I'll be secretly rooting for you to get one of the four better options.
F2P >6MO: Same as above, but I don't think you're looking for a bard by this point.
Vets: Nooooope.
Non-macro: I'll level with ya here. The kit isn't super stellar, it's not going to win you fights if she's the last member standing. However, she'll definitely provide throughput for other units. Pre six months, she's got some life on a bench. Anything post that though and you start to run into the other four units encroaching on her spot in your team. The TMR on her is also passable in it's entirety.
*these stats do not incorporate passives. E= requires equipment to gain annotated bonus What's this?! Abilities straight out of FFT?! eyes narrow I'm on to you Lucille... trying to be an FFBE unit. Right. I'm just going to cut right to the only important Ability in her kit: Ricochet at 73. You see the Dual Wield for sale in the King Mog shop for 12k? Get that if your a Fresh Player and make sure it makes it's way to your girl here on your Arena team. If you aren't a Fresh Player, you can pull out your neuralizer and... what was I saying again? Lucille's TMR, Brontes is a noteworthy TMR in my book. It's a non-2 handed gun with a decent ATK stat to it and it's also got the Lightning Element on it. While guns right now don't have any big units that really want to equip them (aside from maybe Prompto), that's a thing that can change in time. Not something to hard farm for, but you'll want to fuse all your dupes into your main to eventually get this little nugget. Her LB is passable. Lightning damage to a ST for 16 LB Crysts with decent mods won't save Lucille from the bench. In the Arena: Ricochet was the only Ability covered in that section. This is why. If your a Fresh Player, this is her sole use. She's to be replaced with more Ashe's or her superior counterpart in Amelia. Yes, I know I'm breaking the 'No Counter' rule here, but the Stop cheese from Ricochet is going to see you Fresh Players hit the 100 win streak in short order.
So, how does Lucille fare out of the box?
Fresh Players: She's gonna be used in your Arena team... but that's about it. Her place there is also highly suspect as two units on the 4* base level will replace her.
F2P <6MO: TMR fodder from here on out, and not even the ES farm team kind either.
F2P >6MO: As above.
Vets: More as above.
Non-macro: One of those odd times where even you folks sit at the same table as the macro crowd.
Right, we've come to the end of the bath this week. All in all, the banner's going to be a subjective pull for you. Raegen is a good pick-up, but doesn't break the meta in any way. The two 4* bases are middling in their kit's usefulness, and the 3* base is quickly replaced in an Arena team. Hands out lucky red packets Good luck, and Godspeed!
5.5 Year Relationship at a Crossroads and about to move in together
My (25M) GF (25F) and I have been dating for over 5.5 years. We met first day of sophomore year in college, and started dating after becoming good friends in a few months. We've been together ever since, and graduating from school and moving to NYC separately, each with roommates from school. After 3 years of living apart (15 min walk away) my lease ended and I moved in with her and her roommates for this summer while her lease goes til end of August. We're scheduled to move in Sept. 1. To give a very crucial backstory, last Fall was the lowest point of our relationship - she actually said she wanted to break up with me one night and I slept on the couch and said I didn't want to give up. The next day we had a normal Sunday, actually kind of happy strangely. We got to that low point due to the fact that she doesn't trust me. She's had trust issues with me for a long time dating back to college because I was secretive about when I smoked pot or that I occasionally packed a lip on a drunk night - dumb stuff. Last fall though, for some reason one night we were talking about not having secrets before getting married being important to us and all of a sudden my heart started to THROB . I couldn't stop it and my face got white and she saw me and asked what was going on. I could hardly speak and she got really really scared. It was because, for some reason I still don't know, recalled that I had made out with my ex 4 years ago when I was home for Christmas in college Junior year. I didn't tell her this though. I had just got back from a trip to Lake Tahoe with all my best friends like the night before and she kept accusing me of sleeping with someone on that trip because that was the only thing that could've made me so nervous and my heart pound. I vehemently denied this because it simplu wasn't true and would never do that to her and was genuinely hurt she could even think that I was capable of doing that to her. Eventually, after brutal days, we got over it and it just kind of eeked away... But then, almost every time we were hanging out, watching a TV show or movie where the people are like making out or doing anything sexual whatsover, and my girlfriend is laying on my chest, my heart starts POUNDING again, just like it had the first time and she would always get so upset, same thing over and over all Fall. She was studying for a big test (for finance job) all Fall too, she was stressed and anxious while I enjoyed football season. So right before I go home for Christmas, we're having our last night together, trying to enjoy each other but it was just off. Felt like miles between us. I had even started to grow resentful at this point because I felt like i didn't deserve to feel so badly all the time and am a really great BF to her. We're sitting down that night and she starts breaking down crying, and finally she just says "I know there's something else. It FEELS like there is something else. Please just tell me and I promise I'll listen and try not to be mad" and then I started breaking down too. I knew I had to tell her if we were ever going to work. I finally told her that I had cheated on her 4 years ago one night when I was home from Christmas and made out (I'm from Pacific Northwest, family still lives there) with my ex gf from highschool. I truly was blacked out and don't remember doing it at all - i felt sick when my buddy told me what happened the next morning. She cries immediately but thanks me and we sort of fall asleep crying. I went home the next day for Christmas. Christmas was awful. She really didn't take it well and blacked out for most of the 2 weeks. She made out with a guy from highschool too and told me about it Chritmas eve. She would black out and text or call me saying such nasty things and that she was going to live her life and wishes me the best yada yada - It was just a rough break and she really made me feel terrible a lot. We finally facetimed and had a long talk at the end before we came back. I told her i wasn't mad at her and that I was sorry and that I take responsibility for everything - the last fall, this christmas, everything. She basically doesn't know if she can get over it and we come back to the city. The first weekend we had, we went out for dinner and had a really weird date where we both cried alot, and she expressed that she still was so mad at me and didn't know how to not be and didn't trust me still and accused me of having more secrets - she still thought I had sex with someone in Tahoe or something. The next night she breaks down after an argument says she can't do it anymore and breaks up with me basically. I told her she was upset and this was a mistake and that we could really be special if we got through this because I finally had nothing to hide and understand the importance of trust and the damage i caused. She told me she could maybe one day forgive me but she didn't trust me and didn't promise she ever would. I told her i forgive her for everything she did all christmas and that I would prove her right day by day, being honest and telling the truth. We went to Miami together the next week (it was planned already) and had a really really great time. We kind of turned it back around on that trip I thought. I did tell her on that trip that I was afraid my heart might still beat whenever she was on my chest because I noticed it had happened once since I told the truth and was afraid it might still for no reason besides maybe PTSD - i still dont understand why it does now. So we've been dating since and really the last 8 months have been great. I've been a hundred percent honest with her - mostly about dumb things like I dipped at a wedding one weekend or did cocaine with my friends once in Tahoe (she doesn't like drugs and told me never to do them which I respect and tell her if it happens once in a very blue moon). My apartment lease was up at the beginning of summer and moved in with her and her roommates for the summer until we finally move in to our own place Sept 1. There have been a lot of instances this summer where I've been made to feel like im not a good boyfriend or someone whos trustworthy. One example being that I didn't tell her that my best buddy and I were staying at a hotel one night when I visited him in Texas after we gambled at a nearby casino until the night of. She calls me and tells me how shady i am and that i make her worry every time im away. I was and am still upset about this and feel like its a complete overreaction and unfair to say i was lying - i told her i was at a hotel and staying there myself! This led to us texting angrily all day the next day and me not enjoying my last day with my friend before I came back. So this type of things has been happening occasionally this summer and every time it gets down to her saying I still don't trust you and I don't forgive you. And that she doesn't always think of me in a positive light. My heart beat again one night and she accuses me again, says there's a reason it still beats. I'm at a loss. There is absolutely nothing else for me to tell her and no reason why it still beats- it's the strangest most frustrating thing I've ever felt because it really really messes stuff up for us and I can not control it. The more I think about it the more it happens. It doesn't happen nearly as often as it used to - like hardly at all now, but it still will once every while. So I finally tell her I can't feel this way anymore. I really am the best boyfriend in the world to her and I feel like such a bad guy all the time because of her and her unwillingness to trust me and think positively of me. I tell her that I've done all in my power to make up for it, and that I am able to forgive her for what she's done to me, and i need her to do the same for me. she says she doesn't know how to do that and that she'll work on it. long week, lots of talking and tears, really no progress. Last night, she notices my iphone passcode is different and asks why. I tell her becuase it just made me change it for some reason and the new one is *****. She says how that's weird and hers never does that. She keeps saying its so weird and I'm finally like what are you getting at exactly? And she says she doesn't think that happened. I'm flabbergasted - after everything I said to her last week and all that we talked about and how important I emphasized that I can't feel like that anymore, the NEXT DAY she starts on about how I'm lying about why my iphone passcode (THAT I TOLD HER) had changed? That was last night. She eventually apologized and we've been texting all day about how we don't know if we should move in together, if she can't trust me how will we work, etc. I really don't know. We signed a 28 month lease, slated to move in together on Sunday. I don't know what to do. Move in and hope she's able to start trusting me? Or just continue to deal with it hoping it gets better? Call it all off? Fuck IDK TLDR - GF doesn't trust me. I don't deserve it. Will it get better / should we move in?
Headcanons for why all the bosses made deals with The Devil: Part 3: Isle 3
Rumor Honeybottoms: Able to give out orders quick and snappy, this penny pinching bee couldn't waste a dime on her police force, so she only hired one. It wasn't enough to put her workers in line, while they often did their own thing, and certainly not enough to fill her quota of honey. So she decided to make a deal with The Devil; free of charge. All except for one charge that is. Now in possession of a magical wand, she finally had the power in her hands. Her quota skyrocketed, at the expense of her workers happiness. Captain Brineybeard: More of a silver rank pirate, he couldn't find any other pirates around to provide himself a crew. He feared the open ocean, afraid of the legendary sea monsters that swam in it. He always patrolled the shores, one could say his ship had more gusto. Upon spotting The Devil, they struck a deal. Now able to call upon the creatures of the deep with a whistle, he had mastered his own fears. But when push comes to shove, he certainly wouldn't be the one going down with his ship. Cala Maria: While many Mermaids and Mermen where deterred by the Fish Federation and the Crustacean Nation, Cala Maria had to eek out a living. Fighting tooth and nail with other sea creatures, she adorned herself with accessories and playthings made from sea life itself. Hoping one day she could contact members of her own kind, she begged that someone would notice her plight. And someone did. After making a deal with The Devil that allowed her to grow several times her size, she traveled the seas to search for other mermaids and mermen. But after getting a taste of pirate flesh, she began revealing the reason her kind was driven off years ago. It wasn't her, it was her bloodline. And all it would take is a certain spark to set it off. Sally Stageplay: Inkwell Isle wasn't home to just Woodland creatures and Mystical beings, but People as well. Only the rich, famous, and talented could set up home. One of those people was Sally, who wanted to become an actress ever since she was a girl. After an embarrassing performance in front of judges, she ran offstage crying. Her lifelong dream had been crushed. The Devil, seeing her in her time of need, made a deal. With better acting skills and another chance, she become Inkwell Isle's overnight celebrity. Making plays about her dreams of living a better life outside the city and reminiscing about death, she soon found love within her own stage partner, and became happily married after Cuphead and Mugman freed everyone of debt. Werner Wermen: Deep within a cozy house owned by an elderly lady was a pile of riches located within a bank vault. Nobody but her knew where it was. With the house being guarded by hundreds of her stray cats, any rodents attempts to break in and steal the gold was foiled. All but one. While Werner did break in, he couldn't find the riches he desired. Lurking within the walls of the house, he built himself a soup can tank to defend himself from the Cat Alliance. Burrowing all over Inkwell Isle, he hoarded many objects and trinkets but that came to a halt when he was caught red handed trying to steal from The Devil himself. Pleading with him, Werner signed a contract that allowed him to be in the possession of blueprints able to build a Cat Robot to destroy the Cat Alliance on the inside. One complete, he would have all the riches as easy as eins, zwei, drei! Dr Kahl's Robot: After bring rejected from the scientific community for making wild claims of beating The Devil out of Inkwell Hell, he ran away to an abandoned Junkyard to build his greatest invention. While his Robot was powerful, it was far from being built perfectly. Dr Kahl craved what was said to be the ultimate weapon; a highly dangerous crystal that could destroy anything in it's path. By some odd turn of events, his Robot sneaked away to the Devils Casino to bet his soul in exchange for the crystal, not knowing of the consequences, for he simply wanted his master to be proud. The Devil pointed to the place he could find it; Rugged Ridge. Dr Kahl was smiling end to end, gleaming with excitement. He couldn't wait to test it out on Inkwell Isle. Soon the world; no, The Devil! will quake under the fear of Dr Kahl and his Robot of mass destruction! So that's it for now. Sorry I was so late. Busy with stuff, ya know? Maybe in the future I could do these stories for the Casino Bosses, King Dice, or even the big man himself.
With all this talk of the UFC wanting to be mentioned in the same breath as the major sport leagues...
...they are missing one large component that is VITAL to this happening, transparency. The UFC is not a "league" by any definition of the word. They are a prize fighting promotion that wants to keep all of the advantages and power of its tight-lipped, backroom-dealing heritage from boxing, while simultaneously branding itself as THE sport of mixed martial arts. Discounting any inherent limiting factors imposed by the nature of the sport itself, if the UFC wants to continue along this same trajectory of growth and to continue to use the rhetoric they do, then they are going to quickly find themselves running into some serious roadblocks. With this apparel deal, some of these issues were strikingly highlighted. If the UFC is looking to emulate the major North American sports leagues, start by disclosing the amount of the deal publicly. These statements that the UFC will not see a penny of the money simply don't ring true, especially when immediately qualified with saying that there will be costs associated with the deal that must be covered, and later hinting at assets that will be added to the UFC's infrastructure as a direct result of this deal. For Lorenzo to say, with a completely straight face, this deal is in any way comparable to the initial investment in the UFC and how they hope to be able to make money on the NEXT apparel deal obfuscates the reality of the nature of apparel deals. Exclusive apparel deals are no more of an investment for a sporting organization than selling commercial time is an investment for a media organization, and arguably less so. A company is paying to be associated with the UFC, locking out all others, and the UFC is adding to its assets, yet this is good for the fighters because the UFC is just so gosh darn benevolent and forward-thinking? Bullshit. These type of deals have always been cash grabs, the "legitimacy" argument is euphemistic marketing trash at best, and straight up lies at worst. If all, or even a vast majority, of the Reebok money were to go to the fighters, it would be the best thing for the UFC's image to release the numbers. Tell us the specific breakdowns of "salaries" at the different levels, tell us how much is being spent on the rehabilitation facilities, tell us how much the deal is worth overall. No one with any business acumen at all would bat an eye at some bulky "administrative costs" or even an explicit pay raise for Dana and Co. if the numbers would at least be released. It's hard to give any benefit of the doubt when you're given none in return. This isn't the casino business, you want to be a sport "league" mentioned in the same breath as the NFL, NBA, etc.? They disclose their deals, to get to that level there needs to be more than a boss coming down from on high telling us to not worry our pretty little heads about it and just continue to buy their product. With growth and with legitimacy comes accountability. Empty assurances simply won't do. Superficial appearances of legitimacy ("hey look, they have uniforms now") mean nothing when your business model has more in common with medieval fiefdoms than any modern company, much less major sports leagues with their unionized workforces. I won't even touch on unions at this point as it would probably hit the character limit and fall on even deafer ears than this already will. I digress... The final point I'll make since no one is paying me for this (and for good reason), is what kind of good faith does the UFC even think it has on this front? After slowly co-opting sponsorships and getting "their cut" and doing it "their way" in a piecemeal fashion, now they truly believe anyone is buying the complete and utter annexation of sponsorship rights as being good for the fighters? Yes Mr. White, the fighters can keep their sponsorships, but they just can't perform on your shows or do ANY of the only activities which give them value in sponsor's eyes. Ah, but of course Ronda doesn't wear sponsored clothing so that is supposed to prove something? We're just to trust you based on these mountains of good faith you've built that lower-tiered fighters are now going to make more money...because you said so. When the biggest "instigator" in MMA journalism is given an opportunity to talk to White and can only manage to sheepishly eek out a feeble "You won't disclose...the amount...of the deal...right?" and then quickly moves on from the non-answer, something is seriously wrong at a structural level. I have all the respect in the world for Helwani, this isn't an indictment on him in any way, more of one on the environment he's forced to operate within where any little confrontation or tough question causes a complete shut down in any and all communication with a strange temper tantrum in its place. Fuck your locker room bonuses, fuck your whole paternal deity shtick. Talk to reporters and answer their questions in a real way, at least SOMETIMES. Disclose how much you pay fighters without any mysterious "he'll be taken care of" bullshit. Disclose how much your TV and apparel deals are. It's really an idea that's all your own, this whole turning into a legitimate sport league thing. Now do it.
What happened to the Diddier Saturday post? I came to answer his questions about the weekend. Am I going mad?
What happened to the Saturday post a few hours back? Was it deleted? I've just submitted a cake day post Forgot how long it takes to type out a story. This weekend I'm travelling to Paington to visit the casino, eat out, be romantic and on Monday we are booked into the Zoo as I've got a "Rhino experience" where I get to feed rhinos eek! I did a "Bat experience" last year at Chester Zoo and thoroughly loved it.
To: Idiot Is it a game? Lose I? Nope, cartel, I’m set. Ammo order Obscene slob. Elect ‘em?! Almanac ire? Manure? Dick? Casino’s rep? A PIG? Never!!! OK cast! No... Will a ratio do it?... A ratio did. Administration's a lame harem May I honor 'em? "May I", wondered Rosie, "fill a rut?" A naive bigot A.I. = POTUS i.e. "Wa-la! Its election I stole, comrade, da! Free laps - send no fees!" To not (NOT!) sack law, display a sign: I ward a war! Democrat centre vote loses... Reverse! Sub in more tin, use tar, O pave to ole Rome re-won! Knaves said: "No wise magnet torso morphs in a bidet." Pure DNA? Zero. No hymn, O Devil (he peels desserts on me). HA! Does evil run? I Do. O Gods, saps are sane. Most sense un-evades us. Refill O.D. (if one dolla' for a wad). I'm a slob myself. It's he: risen ire, gnat-faced, De-enhance-positor of nits. O, lies net nil. Lay awake...Enabling "I grab pussy"?! M-me? No way. Rot, cabal set...animals. Cite negative samples row upon row. Oh, sob. Have no reps moxie?! Late...got time, SS? (Otto nods) Pelt? I tan it! Er - can I? Teeming is (as ere he came) normal. Oh, SS, I'm no ogler (e.g. God fits, I serve) Regarnish self for awareness... Elfin, I am. Ergo, dab on! Some: "Not rap!", "No Ed.!" AH! Stop! Sedate me? Nod Tides opposed it... Trap! As Bannon anon nabs a part, Tides opposed it...done. Met a despot, shade on par to Nemo. Snob. A dog. Remain, if lessener, a war of flesh sin. Rage...Rev...RESIST! (if doggerel, go) On, Miss! Hola, Mr! On 'em, Ace! Here's A Sign: "I meetin' a cretin!" A tItle: "P.S. Do not toss 'em it to get a lei." XO -Ms. Peron, Eva (HBO Show or...? No! P-U! Worse LP, mas Evita genetics. Laminate slab = actor. Ya won EMMYs? 'Sup! Bar gig? Nil.) Ban? EEK - away! [All intense] "I lost info." "Rot is OPEC!"...? Nah. Need decaf, Tangerine Sir, eh? Stifle symbols amid a war of all. O, den of Idol-lifers, used avenues, nests o' men: as eras pass, do good in ur lives. E.O.D. ahem no stressed sleep, eh? Lived (on my honor) E-Z. And, erupted, I banish promos. Rotten games...I won. Dias se van! Know, ere more loot evaporates, Uniter, omnibuses reverse. So let overt nectar come! Draw a drawing, I say. Alps I'd walk (cast on!) to not see fondness pale, er- faded. Arm ocelots? I? No. It (celestial awe) is utopia! To gibe via natural life is ordered now I yammer on, oh, I yammer...ahem. Alas, no. I.T., art, sin...I'm Dad, I do it. A ratio... Do I tar all? I won't sack (or even gip) a person. I sack cider (un-American amla). Met celeb, Olsen E.C.’s bored roommate – smile! Trace ponies! Ole MAGA, tis it? O... idiot!
The Lands of Aethar - Looking for Players &/or Builders!
Hey everyone! Looking for a new MUD or burnt out on your current one? Want to be an integral part of a small community? Want to take pity on a MUD that has a low pbase? If you said yes to any of these questions (or even no for that matter). You should swing by The Lands of Aethar! [B][aethar.divineright.org:6565][/B] Over the past month my colleague (Lyewund) and I (Urza) have received access to the source code for Aethar and have begun adding new content like our lives depend on it. Seriously though our lives depend on it, our players have finished all the existing content and have started hunting us for sport :eek:. In an effort to curb their blood-lust we have added quite a few new features and have begun cleaning up some of the older ones: *Professions - A subset of crafting that lets you make some pretty awesome utility items that help in combat and navigating around Aethar. *Factions - Gain reputation in towns and watch as the citizens actually respond to how well respected or despised you are. *Equipment Crafting - No more cookie cutter gear! Make your gear truly unique by dictating what stats it recieves with no two pieces of gear having the same stats! *Abilities - A replacement to stats that make your class combination even more meaningful. *Ability trees - Similar to perks, the ability trees offer a way for you to min-max the progression of your character in a specialized manner. *Automated and Daily Quests along with a journal to track your progress. *Several new currencies and micro-economies. *Player owned housing and shops. *Mini-games (Casino games currently, but more to come in the coming weeks!) *Prestige ranks to help show seniority This of course is just a list of new content we have added in the past month with at least weekly updates and daily support if anything goes haywire. Lyewund and I have been playing for several years now and there is absolutely no chance of us abandoning Aethar. (Unless there is some apocalyptic event, in which case all bets are off and we wish you the best of luck!) So you will never have to worry about a lack of support. If you decide to make Aethar your home away from home, or even your home away from your home away from your home then you won't be disappointed. We may have a small player base, but we make up for it in our dedication to our players. If anyone has any complaints, concerns, or even ideas we take each request seriously and either remedy the issue or implement the content. We are a combat heavy mud but are trying to regain our roots in both roleplaying and player-killing, and if you have experience in either of these areas we would be happy to have you as a part of our MUD family. We look forward to seeing you in Aethar. If you have any questions feel free to post (if applicable, as I will be posting this in several locations) and we will answer any of your questions you may have or you can always login and speak with us directly.
*I haven't written in a while, and am rusty, so if this thing reads like a clunky p.o.s, I'm sorry. I'll try to improve it when I'm actually rp'ing. Besides, character bios have never much been my thing. "Whatever town I find myself in, I find myself in the situation to do some good for the world...instead I end up vilified, run out of town by the people I was trying to save seconds before." Name: Jacques Dubeau Gender: Male Race: Human Age: 25 Hometown/Region: Goldenrod, Johto Trainer Type: Just a regular trainer dude, nothin' special. Badges: 12 (6 from Johto, 4 from Kanto, 2 from Hoenn) Pokemon: 1.) Hitmonlee (lvl 40) - When Jacques was thirteen he found an injured Tyrogue, abandoned by its trainer just to the north of Goldenrod. Having recently known the same pain after the sudden departure of his father (a young, irresponsible man named Hammond) Jacques healed, raised and trained beside the Tyrogue until its evolution into a Hitmonlee. With his new ally, Jacques realized not only the ability Pokemon had to close the gap between the disappearance of his father, but the appeal to Pokemon battling that Hammond had been so enamored with. At the age of 16 his sickly mother, Janet, passed away and Jacques took to the road to track down his father and train Pokemon. 2.) Ampharos (lv 33) - The second member of Jacques's team came when his Hitmonlee was felled by a Pidgeotto in battle. He realized that hard work, determination and ingenuity could not always overcome type disadvantages in battle. Finding a stray Flaaffy int he wild, Jacques couldn't help but notice it was a little...slow-witted. However, its electric attacks did pack a punch so he wasn't one to complain. With the aide of Flaaffy, Jacques traveled to Violet City and earned his first gym badge after defeating Faulkner. Not only that, but he came one step closer to finding his father, Hammond, having learned that Hammond had also taken on the Violet City Gym. Flaaffy evolved into an Ampharos when Jacques earned his fourth badge in Johto, a grueling battle with Morty, Ecruteak's Ghost-type Gym Leader. Unable to use Hitmonlee, Jacques was forced solely to rely on Flaaffy. Although the battle was nearly a loss, Flaaffy was able to hold on and eek a win out of Ecruteak's Morty. After a well-fought match, Flaaffy evolved. 3.) Houndoom (lvl 33) - In order to challenge the seventh gym of Johto, Jacques invested in capturing and training a Houndour. Although he did so, he didn't find out until several days later that the Houndour was actually a Pokemon who had lost its trainer and could not find him. About a week later Jacques was thrust into a random trainer battle with a man named Sampson who, as it turns out, was the Houndour's original trainer. In an outrage, the boys made a bet; whoever won the battle would keep Houndour. Jacques easily swept Sampson's team, earning Jacques his very first rival. However, Jacques didn't end up challenging Pryce's gym. Houndour eventually evolved into a Houndoom during Jacques's journey in Kanto after a battle with Erika. 4.) Crobat (lvl 35) - After leaving Johto upon tips that Hammond had found his way over to Kanto, Jacques was swarmed by a horde of Zubat. Although a display of electric-type ferocity from Ampharos sent most of the horde away, one brave Zubat remained. Intrigued by the courage showed by the Pokemon, Jacques caught it and it quickly became one of his strongest Pokemon and better allies. Only half a year into his Kanto journey (he was nearing 20 at this point, having spent a little over three years in his Johto escapades) Zubat had become Golbat and Golbat had evolved into Crobat. On a chance encounter with Koga on the road, the two hurried off a couple thieves with their respective Crobat and proceeded to battle. Although Koga's Crobat emerged victorious, the battle lasted well over ten minutes, as Jacques's Crobat refused to stay down although severely injured. It wasn't until Jacques forfeited that the Crobat allowed itself to faint. Koga, impressed, awarded Jacques with the Soul Badge he had carried on his person even after leaving his Gym Leader duties to his daughter. Jacques would later challenge several gyms after this (Pewter City and Cerulean were the last two badges in Kanto Jacques would receive, before earning the Rustboro and Fortree City Gym Badges in Hoenn) his focus shifted from training Pokemon to understanding them after this isolated event with his Crobat. Having been involved with many battles since his Koga battle (mostly reluctantly), Jacques's Crobat has shown similar resolve, but not to the point of forcing itself not to faint. He wants to further understand the personalities and intelligence of Pokemon, and how they can evolve mentally, not just physically. 5.) Vigoroth (lvl 30) - Having heard a rumor that Hammond had fled from Kanto in disgrace (he was supposedly caught trying to steal a badge from the Viridian Gym after getting stomped by Blue), Jacques decided he needed a change of pace and followed him over to Hoenn. And for the first time in just under a decade, Jacques caught up with his father. The two never interacted. Instead, Jacques watched as Hammond was quickly beaten into the dirt by Norman, Petalburg's Gym Leader. Impressed with the ferocity and speed of Norman's Pokemon, Jacques located a Slakoth who, while looking slow-witted on the outside actually turned out to be very adaptive much to Jacques's delight, and found work in Norman's Gym as a trainer in the Strength Room. For an entire year Jacques worked under Norman, occasionally battling with him (he only beat him twice out of the fifteen battles they had). He took his duty as the Pre-Gym Leader very seriously, as very few trainers actually made it past his special room in the Gym before making it to Norman. Slakoth was, for a good deal of the time, the only Pokemon he found himself using at that gym. Although lazy, Slakoth was not slow and hit incredibly hard. Even though the Pokemon only moved every other time he told it to, Jacques found he could rely on it even though it was the newest, weakest member of his team. Slakoth's evolution into Vigoroth invigorated Jacques, and he told Norman he was off to journey around Hoenn. With the team he had built already, defeated Roxanne at Rustboro was the easiest gym battle Jacques had had to that date. 6.) Metang (lvl 25) - Jacques's most recent Pokemon was a gift he received. After defeating Winona at Fortree City, Jacques met a girl named Rayne and settled down with her for a bit in the city. He was 22, and way more tired than any 22 year old had the right to be. For eighteen months Jacques and Rayne would travel around the outskirts of Fortree, watching Pokemon in the wild, observing trainers battling and their Pokemon. They were free. Jacques had saved up more than his fair share of money from working with Norman as well as battles around the three regions he'd traveled. Of course, like always, Jacques fucked things up. After witnessing what he believed to be an attempted sexual assault in Fortree, he caused quite a bit of property damage to several houses and the PokeMart. He was fined for quite a chunk of his money (a reoccurring theme for him) and asked to leave. Jacques asked Rayne to accompany him, but having lived in the area her whole life found herself unable to do so. Instead she imparted with him her Metang. Over their time together, Jacques had grown incredibly attached to the Metang, having seen it hatched from an egg into a Beldum, to evolution. Rayne, he often pointed out, underestimated its cognitive abilities. The Metang, Jacques declared, was smarter than even he was (which ranged from very smart to...not so smart depending on the day and the situation). And so, with a team of six ready to go for the first time in his career, Jacques made way for Petalburg on foot, in hopes of getting his old job back or finding information on where Hammond was. Whichever opportunity came first, he decided, is the one he would take. Other Info: Although the Pokemon section/Bio (I'm sure it's cluttered, sorry, but it seemed like a good idea at the time) doesn't quite go into the full scope of his fuck-uppery, I'd like to mention a few of the (many) mess ups he's had that have forced him to skip town early, often wanted by the police. -Mistaken for a Team Rocket Revivalist in Celadon, having stumbled upon the old gang hide out in the casino. He was confronted by authorities and ran. -Tried to help a little girl catch her first Pokemon near Mount Moon, but a miscalculation on his part led to a part of Mount Moon collapsing, injuring several including the girl. -Got into a fist fight with Chuck the Gym Leader after hitting on his wife. Then beat Chuck in a battle. Then got into another fist fight with Chuck. -Saw a group of men robbing a PokeMart in Mauville, confronted them and nearly caused the PokeMart to collapse. Caused nearly fifty-thousand in property damage. -Asked by a group of kids to show them his Pokemon, Jacques attempted a demonstration of several moves which led to some of the kids being injured...one was in a medically induced coma for a week, but he's fine.....what? Jacques offered to pay the bills! But besides being an accidental criminal, Jacques is just trying to do his best. He wants to find his father (and beat him in a battle for egotistical reasons) and just sit back and learn what really goes on inside the minds of Pokemon. A Poke-psychologist, if you will. Outside of his father, and possibly working for Norman in the Petalburg Gym, Jacques has little interest in battling anymore.
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profitable players: how do you seek out the best times/places to play?
I recently got back into playing. I'm a profitable player 1/2NL living in the middle of nowhere. I took time off for personal reasons, but I've been playing for several years. I made almost a grand this past weekend. Variance was nice to me, but it got me to thinking: how do you find the prime times to play? I normally play on Fridays & Saturdays. I make the majority of my money then and I think its because casual player are just looking to get out. Maybe some bad players that try their luck every paycheck. Whatever the case is, the weekends (at least in my area) are awesome. Now, if play in the middle of the week-- like a Wednesday-- I can play for 8 hours and barely eek out a profit. So, I was wondering if there are certain things you look for. Do you go to different casinos on different nights? Why? Are there certain events you look for that bring bad players in? I'm within an hour drive of 3 or 4 casinos, so I can choose where to play on certain variables. Do the bonuses influence the number of bad players showing up? I'm talking high hand promotions, bad beats, that kind of stuff. Pretty much, just looking for any tips/advice for finding bad players, prime times to play, and/or locations that are friendly to profitable poker players.
My little corner of the world was never very exciting, I will admit. Being from this generation of computer savvy youths I was quick to realize there was a much bigger, more exciting world somewhere beyond the borders of my dusty county in Oklahoma. New York City, Bangkok, Hong Kong, London, Munich…all the places I’d read about and flood my mind with images of felt so far away and distant that when I turned eighteen I couldn’t help but wonder where it was I’d go to first. Reality is never as kind as we’d like it to be. I wound up leaving college after my first year, mind I did not fail out, but I felt I had had enough academia for a while and decided to take a break and “find myself.” This ill advised journey involved a swift encounter with the harsh reality of coming from a lower middle class family with few resources, and eventually ended with me getting a job working for a casino, a pizza place, and the natural gas fields. After saving up some money and making a few connections I managed to make the cross country move to Seattle, Washington to live with a girl I’d met on the internet. I’d like to say it was love and for a time I’m sure there was love between the two of us. Work was hard to find, and after being laid off from my contracting firm (I was working for a gigantic online retailer) the relationship slowly disintegrated and after four years away from home I was once again heading back home with my head out of sorts and not a clue as to where to go or what to do next at the ripe old age of 26. I came back home that winter, having said all my goodbyes and pining for the city behind me, I was determined to forge my way in the world even if I would forever be stuck in the shithole that is Pittsburg County, so long as I lived and was not a burden I could be happy. I got a job for that same Casino I had worked for previously, a decent job that came with a phone and a company car. I lived with my brother who had bought a house in the old hometown and things were starting to look up for me. Several months passed as I re-established myself and that summer I turned 27. Four days after my birthday the earthquake hit at about three in the AM. Oklahoma’s earthquake rate had been increasing rapidly since the advent of hydro-fracking, a process that too closely resembles actual rape of the planet. Every few months since 2010 a 2 or 3 pointer would make the news. That one though, that one was a solid six pointer if it was anything. I remember being on the john doing my nightly business when the toilet began to jerk up and down and the floor rippled beneath me. Just as quickly as it started it stopped. There were reporters from all over running around town that night and the next day, asking anyone and everyone for interviews and statements. Cynthia, a cook at the café my grandmother manages, made a very memorable scene for the Channel 2 news crew who ate up her shit like it was made of unicorn semen and Arby’s sauce. It wasn’t enough having to look at her gnarled, leathery face and hear her gravely smokers voice every time I wanted a cheeseburger but now I was seeing it all over the news. For the little town I live in, the attention was a big enough deal to get the mayor’s panties all up in a bunch. Wherever the news vans were, she was right there waiting half smiling and visibly agitated, waiting for her turn to shine on the cameras. I could only guess as to her motivation other than pure vanity, any increase in tourism dollars was a good thing, and media coverage was about the only thing that could make that happen. A geological survey crew from the state college came down to take a look at the damage and check the old instrumentation left behind by previous survey crews. Eventually, like everything else concerning the town, the excitement died down and life got back to normal, for a while at least. Winter came early, and one morning at the café before work I was reading in the newspaper (we don’t quite have a web presence just yet) that the earthquake had opened up several old mine shafts in the area. Southeastern Oklahoma was nothing but coal mining operations in the early 1900s. Immigrants came to work for the big companies digging coal up out of the ground, the ancestors of the locals plodding through oily mud in our present day. I guess it is the story of our lives down here, always having to eek our livings out of the dirt. Once upon a time this had been a prosperous place. The largest town in the area is McAlester, a hub for the outlying coal mining settlements originally founded by J.J. McAlester as a trading post for westward bound travelers. The mines closed up after a large accident claimed the lives of around five hundred workers in 1909. When the mines went, the life and prosperity went with it, leaving entire towns and settlements completely empty for the wild to reclaim. “Excuse me, are you a local?” A woman’s voice inquired from the table behind me. I hadn’t even noticed them. She was attractive in a peculiar, offbeat way and about in her early thirties. Sitting at the table with her were three men, two were very thin and other stocky and thick in the middle and I was very confident that I had never seen any of them around town in my life. “Yes. Can I help you?” I turned my chair slightly to get a face to face view. She looked over to the heaviest man who had a dark red goatee who nodded in approval. “We’re an investigative group from Little Rock, Arkansas and we were hoping you could help us out.” “Depends on what you’re investigating I guess.” They certainly were not police, but one of the thin men’s shirts gave them away. The black t-shirt read OPS, beneath which was the full title of their organization, the Ozark Paranormal Society. “Ghosts?” “Well, yeah. See, we do investigations all over the south and southwest. We’ve come to take a look at uh…” She took a notebook from off of the table and flipped the pages. “Crybaby Bridge?” she shot a look to red-bearded man then went back to her notebook. “And the public school, and a few of the local grave yards, Lone Oak cemetery and High Hill.” I had to stifle a grin. I’d grown up hearing all those ghost stories, my father, despite being a good and hardworking man, was very superstitious and claimed to have had many an experience. Whether or not these stories of his were “true” was beside the point, what mattered was that he believed them. And for a time, I did too. “Crybaby Bridge, and Baby Beach, huh?” These places were real enough outside of the stories. I’d been swimming at Baby Beach since I was five or six. “Baby Beach?” She began writing in her book. “Is that close by?” “You can see the bridge from the beach; it runs right over the creek that feeds the lake.” “I take it you know the story behind the bridge?” “About as well as anyone I guess…ah…some time in the 40’s a couple and their newborn drove off the bridge in their car into the creek. At a specific time of night you are supposed to be able to hear the infant crying or something like that.” “Have you ever heard it?” “No, but my dad claims he did one night. But then, he also claimed that a UFO flew over him and his friends one night while they were smoking ganja.” The thin man in the OPS shirt laughed into his sweet-tea, the woman gave him one hell of a look and then turned back to me. I noted she had longish dark red hair she kept in a bun and a tattoo of a scarab beetle on the back of her neck. “You don’t believe in the paranormal?” “I believe my five senses, they’re pretty much all I have to work with.” I’d recited that line a hundred times before in my head while having those same discussions with my dad. While I thought it was clever enough, she seemed fairly unimpressed. “To be honest, you guys probably aren’t going to find much at Baby Beach or on the bridge. Why the school, by the way?” “The mayor said that it was a hospital a long time ago, that a lot of people died in it.” And there the truth was laid bare. Having had a taste of the spotlight, the wonderful mayor had put in a call, likely several calls, to anyone who would listen. “I never heard that one. But I guess it is as good a place to look as any.” “Well…can you think of anywhere else?” “I could take you guys to Lone Oak cemetery after work if you like. My name is John by the by.” “I’m Fran, everyone calls me Frankie, though.” The name suited her perfectly. She motioned to the rest of the group and introduced them individually, firstly pointing to the red-bearded man. “That’s Tom, second lead investigator. This guy sitting here next to is Lewis our camera man, we call him Stretch, and the one on the end is Mikey our editor and AV guy.” None of the guys seemed excessively sociable; given the nature of their chosen professions it wasn’t very surprising. I looked up at the clock hanging above the Waitress station and saw I had about twenty minutes left to make the drive to work. “What do you say?” They huddled up together and it only took a minute or two before she replied with a yes. We exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes. I got off work at 4:30 and got home at about 5, halfway into changing into my jeans I got the phone call to meet up with the OPS at the café. When I got there they were at the same table, sitting in a slightly different order. They hadn’t ordered anything and were ready to leave straight away. Their vehicles consisted of a van I imagined to be full to the brim with their ghostbusting equipment, and a Honda SUV which all but Lewis packed into. We took the winding road to Dow, just outside of Haileyville and crossed the bridge and landed on baby beach right as the sun was beginning to set. The lake was calm, the beach pretty much deserted. The air coming off of the water was bone chilling. “What was that we passed on the bridge?” Mikey asked as he helped Lewis unload the equipment. “Looked like another old bridge that fell apart.” “It used to be the electric cart that went from here to McAlester.” My dad had photographs and news clippings saved from when it was still active. “They had an electric trolley here? Where did the power come from?” Lewis said as he gingerly placed a camera case on the ground, straining against its weight. “There was a water works plant at the dam that powered it.” The rest of the evening was spent taking footage of the area, I walked them around and showed them what few key points and places there were, and where they could safely walk and trek with their gear up to the bridge. After shooting was done they settled in with a few audio recorders going, occasionally addressing them with time and temperature. When the sun set it began to get considerably colder, it must have been forty degrees by the time eleven o clock rolled around and we were waiting in anxious silence to hear the wail of the phantom infant. At around midnight I left, offering to take them to one of the cemeteries the following day. That night came the first dream. I don’t know if you’d call them dreams or visions or nightmares. Maybe they were all of them at once, playing out in my subconscious. Leading me. Warning me. I dreamed that I was wandering and came upon a railroad which I followed through the woods to an old hospital. It seemed familiar but I knew I had never been there before. The forest cleared, the grass was very tall around the structure which encompassed almost two whole acres by itself. There was a decrepit, disintegrating wooden sign at the start of a stone walkway, the word “sanitarium” could be just barely made out. I walked beyond it and the air became heavy around me, pressure building on my shoulders, filling my shoes with lead and slowing my walk toward the large door with chipped paint which stood half open. CAAAA! The shrill scream erupted from the tall grass. It sounded like a large bird. I turned to the door, now closed and tried it to find it locked. I turned around and saw in the tall grass a trail had been cut through it…had it been there before? Had I simply missed it? I plodded through the thick air down the trail leading me through the lot. The wall of grass to either side was too dense to see anything through it. As I walked there was a wet, meaty, smacking sound accompanied with a dry CLACK interspersed, and a smell began to grow with each step. When I was seven years old I’d wrecked my bike riding down a hill and landed near a pretty choice cut of road kill. I’d puked my guts up after taking a few deep breaths of the air around it. The smell from the grass was the same. I know that you aren’t supposed to be able to smell or really taste in dreams…but I did. I stopped dead in my tracks as I noticed the cut grass beneath me was becoming wet and sticky, crimson colored patches that lead to a clearing. Vultures. Dozens…maybe a hundred…vultures, all in the clearing feasting on a pile of dismembered limbs. Hands, feet, legs, arms sometimes whole sometimes not. They were eating them and when I breathed the frosty, sickly air stung my lungs and cut it short and the vultures stopped, turning to stare at me with dull, beady…no…they were not just black. They were empty hollows where eyes should have been. Following an instinct to get away as fast as possible, I edged around them to another path, I turned and as soon as I was sure I was clear of them, I ran as fast as I could down the next trail where I came to a hole in the ground. A deep fracture, what I imagined a fault line might look like I suppose. I couldn’t bring myself to look down into it, the nearer I got the closer my brain got to shutting down as terror tightened its grip on me. My chest was heaving…and then I heard it for the first time. A voice as smoky and acidic as I had ever heard, “Good morning” it said to me from the hole. I stood and watched, unable to move as a wiry haired, tall, black furred wolfhound climbed out of the hole. I could smell it as it inched closer, an acrid, oily smell that was probably coming from whatever it was that clung to its fur. “good morning…” Its mouth moved in some horrible human facsimile, its canine mouth stretching obscenely to form the words. I noticed then that it too was missing eyes and was leaking black oil from the sockets. “The birds are out.” It said. CCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! came from behind me, but this time it sounded less avian, it sounded like someone, a woman or a man maybe, screaming as loudly as they could through a megaphone right through my ear. I turned around to the path to the vultures… When I woke up, I was screaming. While at work that day I took the time to run a google search for old hospitals in the county, and came upon a picture that left me cold. They called it Rescue Gate, it had been a TB hospital before it was used to house dead and dying from the mines, located somewhere between Adamson and Coalgate in a ghost town called Coleville. I shot a text to Fran on my lunch break with the hospitals information who asked me to take them there on Saturday.
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