Things have been busy so, I apologize for the delay. I know lots of you love these stories.
Last Friday night...Yeah, I think we broke the law...Always say we're gonna stop, whoa Friday, or in the alternative: What part of call me was not clear?
I get to my desk at the usual time and deal with the usual bullshit. I got a SCAR 16s here on consignment because a customer of mine bought them from dealers that were less than reputable and lied about the condition of/country of origin of their merchandise. And they swapped sku's and other bullshit gun dealer things.
Trying to be a nice guy, I can charge the guy to box and ship everything back or roll them at top dollar and give him a big stack of blue stripe benjamins. I tell him I'll try and sell them for him and take my cut off the top so we're both making money. He thinks this is a great idea and manages to line up a buyer on his own. I just need to do the 4473 and cut him a check. No big deal, I don't have a problem doing a little extra work for him versus the standard dealer to customer transfer. The guy he sold it to is a semi regular customer of mine and he comes in, bangs out the 4473 and it's about a 90 minute wait on transaction time.
No big deal. Instead of packing up for the gun show, I'm selling other peoples guns. I'll pack up for the gun show tonight and get everything ready when I get home. I need to be up super early and on the road.
I get everything squared off, customer comes in to get his money and drops off
ANOTHER SCAR 16s to sell because the dealer pulled a con job. Okay, I can haul it to the show in the AM. I have a SCAR 16s in FDE from him. I have a 5.7 in FDE on the arm from a buddy of mine and a 509 FDE. I'll make a package deal, FDE FN Friday all FN time. Things are looking up!
I clear off all the 4473's for the week and do an audit and I'm down about 75% inventory wise from last year. Things are tight but stuff is trickling in in drips and drabs. Hit the chickfila on my way home for a sandwich and milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard. I'm done eating and getting ready to leave when I get the call.
ring ring FC: go for FC
1: Mr Hayden sir, can I ask a favor of you?
FC: What up?
1: Got a guy who wants my scar 16 lined up but he has to pay on a credit card. Can you run it for me? You can take a card and cut me a check?
(It's 7PM on a friday night. I still need to pack for the show. By the time I get back it will be 9PM and I still need to shower and get a decent nights sleep. I'm a glutton for punishment)
FC: If you want to get it done tonight, have the guy call me. I'm eating dinner now and I'll head back if he calls me.
1: roger that, I'll pass along your info right now and let him know.
I do a few more emails from the laptop and say hi to the chickfila owner who was friends with my dad and buys guns from me. We chat for a bit and my phone does not ring. Now, gentle readers - I offered to head back at 730PM on a friday to get something done for someone as a favor to them. That should be worthy of "holy shit you are the man for coming back on your own time!" but this was not the case. No phone call means I didn't head back.
I head home, no phone call. Phone about to die. Plug it in and go into my garage and get all my gun show stuff sorted and loaded and organized. My normal display is 3 tables of merchandise stacked and racked on 2 tables. This show it's 1.5 tables of merchandise stretched out on 2 tables. Not good. My back is killing me. I get some ibuprofen and take a hot shower. Grab my phone off the charger. Bunch of missed calls, one email one VM. I return the VM.
1: Hey you must be having a good dinner at chickfila, we've been waiting here in the parking lot for the last hour!
FC: You have? Well, I didn't get a phone call. I'm home and in pajamas.
1: What? He didn't call you?
FC: Nope
1: HEY! YOU DIDN'T CALL HIM? Oh he says he just figured......
FC: No phone call means no turning around to go back to work. We'll deal with it next week.
1: Okay I'll tell him.
I'm a pretty easy to get along with guy. If you ask me a favor, I'll likely do it if it does not interfere with my life too badly. But if you ask me for a favor and you can't follow simple instructions, well then you're wasting your own time. That's no skin off my hide. Failure to follow simple directions on your part does not warrant my bad back bending over backwards to make it right. I climb into bed, I have to be up at 5AM to tank up at the truck stop, grab breakfast on the run and get to this show on the road.
Saturday, in the park. I think it was the fourth of july. People dancing, people laughing. A man selling ice cream. Singing Italian songs.... Showtime Saturday.
My back is stiffer than I'd like. I get down to the show and get loaded in and everything is set up looking spiffy. Not in my normal spot right by the loading dock, much to my chagrin. There's a line that's 1/4 mile long to get into the building. This shit is looking crazy.
Here's the deal, folks. The 4473 isn't hard. It does require attention to detail. Being in therapy with Dr Kaplan, I've learned a few things.
Old FC: Here's the clipboard, call me when you're done.
New FC: Here's the form, I'm guessing you haven't filled this out before. Start on line 9, read this carefully, 18A and 18B are two separate questions that both require answers, 21 L 2 is tricky, you need to read it ALL THE WAY TO THE END before you answer. Sign on 22, today's date on 23. STOP THERE.
With the new spiel, of the 7 forms I was handed on Saturday before noon - guess how many were filled out correctly? I'll make a break here to talk about the bullshit I had to do.
Show Hustler #1: I had a consignment mossberg built in new haven pre 1968. A guy wants to buy it and he's friends with Ray Dalio. Yes, the Ray Dalio. He tries getting me to knock $100 off but I tell him he's nuts. If he's FRIENDS WITH A BILLIONAIRE and lives in GREENWICH fucking Connecticut, you can pay my very fair asking price of about $350 on it. He relents and I give him a small discount and I give him the clipboard.
Show Hustler #2: I got a guy wanting to trade me a 44 Mag Black Desert Eagle for a Colt 1911 I have on the table. Prices are about the same. I tell him I'm not doing the work of selling two guns for the profit of one gun. He tells me I'm not selling two guns, I'm trading one and selling one. That's selling one gun! I explain two entries in my A/D book means I sell two guns, and it's easier for me to sell a NIB Colt than it is for me to sell a used Desert Eagle. Well the DE isn't used! It's unfired! It's brand new! If I didn't get it from a wholesaler, it's used. He says for me to think about it and he'll be at the show. I tell him I thought about it. He says yeah, ready to do an even trade? I say no, now I want your gun plus $1000. He calls me a clown and walks away.
Show Hustler #3: Over the road truck driver wants the FN 5.7 in FDE I have on consignment. Asks for a truck driver discount. He wants it for $1200. I've got it tagged at $1350. I tell him if he can fill out the form straight, no errors I write it at 1200. If there's an error, I write it for $1350. He says he just bought a brand new freightliner cascadia and money is tight. I tell him well we got a bet or what? He nods, I book the action.
Show Hustler #4: Guy wants my 509C. He wants to trade me for a NIB glock even up. I tell him there's no money to be made and selling a used glock gets me less money. BUT ITS NOT USED! ITS BRAND NEW! We go back and forth 9 times about how new does not mean what he thinks it means. I offer him $350 on his trade as credit knowing that $650 on a used glock in 45ACP is all the money right now. He calls me a cocksucker and walks away.
Okay, so 7 form 4473's with an explanation as to all the problem areas before noon on Saturday.....how many were filled out correctly?
If you answered zero, you are right! That means I won the 4473 bet. The 5.7 goes out at top dollar. Winner winner chicken dinner!
I head home and count my money. I need 9 more shows like this and I might finally be able to retire. On the way home I check web orders. Three guys in arkansas have ordered $900 22LR off my website at $150 a brick. I joke about my stash of 22LR being a brand new F350 platinum but at $150/brick that's rapidly becoming a reality.
Sunday, Bloody Sunday Sunday is day 2 of the show. I stop at a local diner and grab corned beef hash and a short stack of pancakes for breakfast. Want to know how good a diner is? If there's real butter with the pancakes and not that bullshit country crock/margarine spread, you know things will be good.
There's butter. It's good.
A very nice Sig 229 in stainless in 9mm comes by from a guy who did business with me years ago. He traded me a Wilson CQB pistol for a Sig 226 and a Springfield Range Officer even up. I had maybe $1600 into that Wilson, I sold it for $2500 a few months later and tucked the money away. When my brother got married, our fucking gigantic family got together the night before the wedding and had dinner. I told him I'd cover it and he's like "are you sure?" and I said, how bad could it be? Not realizing his wife's family is a bunch of hungry alcoholics from cape cod who have never seen an open bar before and are total gluttons when someone else is buying. As it turns out, $2500 covered about half of the F&B, but he seemed appreciative.
Anyhow.
I sell nothing at the show all day and talk with the other dealers and swap stupid customer stories. I pack and head home and I've sold a good bit of stuff of mine and consignments. As I'm making my way out of the building, the wheel comes off the wagon.
This is not a euphemism.
https://imgur.com/a/KY5vLCl I pay off all my friends for their sales, and in the zelle memo field, I break down the transactions as such:
$69.69 - Anal Hook
$350 - Loch Ness Monster Poster
(whatever the balance was after bullshit, I can't remember) - this is from your real dad
I have lots of fun at this job sometimes.
It's just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. 'Cause that's my fun day. Monday morning I get an email from the fellow who spent his friday night in the parking lot waiting for me. His email address leads me to believe he spent some time at Parris Island or San Diego, because who else uses semper fi in an email address name? He says he can be in after work at 1645 hours sharp and is just down the road. I tell him I'll get everything squared away for him, and I prep the 4473's on a clipboard and get everything set up.
Cleaning up files from the show, closing out 4473's. Down to 249 items in stock. 150 of them are lowers. This is not good. Must strike while irons are hot though. Gotta shear all the sheep while the wool is ready to harvest and prices are high. I have a bunch of personal ammo that will hit the market one POTUS says something stupid. That's not an if, that's a when.
Bunch of phone calls from people seeking 380 and cheap 9mm. I do my best charles bronson impression. "No dice." The emails accusing me of price gouging are fantastic. There's some other idiocy too. I won't post the whole ones but here's a few snippets from the butthurt and the unprepared as well as the idiotic.
I’m just looking for fmj for target practice. Nothing fancy. If you could do them for $400 a case of 1000 I can talk.
FC: I can get you $400/case on 1000 but it'll be foreign made non brass 9mm ammo.
Pretty much what your saying is no matter how much money I try to spend, you’re continuing your get rich quick prices. People like you are direct part of the problem. It’s one thing to make money and it’s another to try to high way rob people. Hope you’re proud of yourself.
FC: I can assure you that this isn't a get rich quick situation. I spent plenty of money investing in half a million rounds of ammo about FOUR years ago during the Trump slump and I'm just getting around to realizing profits now. I am not getting rich, nor am I doing it quickly. I hardly think that any investment that takes 4 years to realize a gain is quick.
(No response back)
Subject: Used Ruger 10/22
Message: I’ll give you 175 for it.
FC: Deal. Can you come by today?
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come by Tomorrow or Thursday.
(I try calling him. VM box is full)
FC: Great! Lets get it done. Your VM box is full. Tomorrow is better.
(new message, no subject)
Message: I can come tomorrow but I only have 150 I can spend at the moment so I’ll probably wait a few days.
FC: What happened to " I’ll give you 175 for it." a few hours ago?
(new message, no subject)
Message: My bad dude. I have a kid I don’t know what to tell you. And I’m pretty sure I said Wednesday or Thursday. If you really want it gone that bad I don’t see what the big deal is.
FC: I was just expecting you to have $175 ready if you said you wanted to deal......So, will Wednesday or Thursday work this week? Bring me cash and your concealed.
(new message, no subject)
Message: No cwl. But you don’t need one for a private sale. I can have your cash.
FC: No CWL no sale.
(new message, no subject)
Message: Yeah I’ll pass. Good luck. You totally should have mentioned that at the start of negotiations.
FC: What part of my ad that said cash and concealed required was unclear?
Yeah. Fucking mondays.
1630 rolls around and our scar loving jarhead walks in. With his wife. And his children. Not one, not two, not three, but FOUR little munchkins. All without an ipad and disney + streaming to keep them occupied. They're not bad kids, just curious at all the little things I have lying around like lower parts kits, magazines, AAC 51T mounts, stuff like that.
He hands over his ID. I look at the address. It's a city two and a half hours away.
FC: Uh, you're a long way from home.
USMC: Yeah I just moved. I'm putting my new address on this form if that's okay.
FC: You have anything with your new address on it? I can't do anything with ID that's not current.
USMC: It's not expired, it's current.
FC: Where do you live?
USMC: (names address locally)
FC: Then this is no longer current. I need something with your new local address on it.
USMC: Oh then I'll just use the old address on this form then.
FC: That's not acceptable. I need a current government document with your new address.
USMC: Here, I have activation orders and training orders from the army.
FC: That won't work. Government document with your new address.
USMC: Here's my W2 from the DOD.
FC: That's not a government document.
USMC: But the DOD gave it to me! It's FROM the department of defense, which is the government!
(Editors note: Did I mention that I hate mondays?)
sigh FC: I can call ATF and ask......
USMC: Please do!
(I phone the ATF area supervisor on his cellular device)
ATF: Mr Hayden, how can I help you today?
FC: Barry, I got a funny one. Guy wants to use his DOD W2/activation orders to get his gun since that has his current address.
ATF: Why? Is there a reason he's unable to get an updated drivers license?
FC: That's a good question Barry, let me find out.
(FC puts ATF on speakerphone)
FC: Hey private first class, ATF wants to know why you didn't update your license
USMC: Uh because I've been busy
ATF: Sir, that's not an answer. I was in the military too and I had to change ID's just like you. If I can had to do it you have to do it.
(Barry was a very long time ago a RIO on the F4 Phantom)
USMC: But I have activation orders! and training orders! and a W2!
ATF: Get your license changed over or produce another document for the licensee to process your transaction.
FC: Thanks barry!
I hang up and tell him that's the area supervisor and I'm playing this one the way he tells me. He needs to produce a document compliant with ATF regulations for me to release this firearm.
USMC: Oh by the way there's a guy with my same name that robbed a bank in Detroit last year, I always get delayed anyways.
(sigh)
I type his stuff into the computer and I get a thumbs up from the computer instantly much to his amazement. I fire off a quick email to the guy who owns the scar
Subject: No current ID
Message: your jarhead friend who wants the scar does not have current ID
No deal? Or what's the plan?
My reply is interrupted. Their oldest child admires the batman dollar on my safe. The youngest child is incessantly clicking a spare pilot G2 pen I had on my desk.
Mother: If you click that pen ONE MORE TIME, you are WALKING HOME.
(kid puts the pen down)
Me, whispering to the kid: It's not that far.
(kid picks the pen back up)
Mother scowls at both of us.
I giggle.
I get back to email.
FC: Lets put it this way. You're gonna owe me for this one. Big time.
His wife starts pulling out auto registrations, USAA insurance cards, cable bills, etc with their new address - NONE of which are useful because none of them are government issued. She updates his and her drivers licenses online at the state website and gives me a voter registration printout confirming the update, but that's not a workable document since it's an informational update and not an actual registration.
Customer that owns the scar walks in and witnesses the flurry of kids playing with gun stuff and two grown ass adults trying to make it all work.
It's been 45 minutes of this.
The guy finally gives up and goes on the state website and gets a fishing license and emails it to me. Stacks a big stack of SCAR magazines that NOBODY has in stock to the order and I charge it onto his USAA mastercard. Had I returned to work on a Friday after hours to get an ID that wasn't current, I would have been apoplectic. Now, I'm just mildly annoyed. I can assure you that anyone who has walked through the hallowed halls of MCRD Parris Island should know to have their shit together. This just seemed like some hybrid of cluelessness more than it was an issue of stolen valor. Gun and mags go out the door.
My customer sits down and starts laughing. I look at him totally nonplussed.
1: That was easy, right?
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: An hour worth of work, for $50! That's good! you should do a few of those a day!
(FC looks nonplussed)
1: Really?
FC: You owe me.
I cut him his check and I'm done for the night. I head home.
Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too.... Tuesday
Another day, another box of 9mm at $75 each heading out the door.....I'm down to my last 15,000 rds of 9mm. I sold my entire personal stash of Remington UMC at $67 a box. Now that we're into the Federal American Eagle, it's up to $75. People are thanking me for having it available because they've called everywhere.
This morning's "no I don't have it" calls: 380ACP, 30-40 Krag, 6.5 CM, Grendel and Swede, 2.5" .410 slugs, 3 or 3.5" shells and turkey loads.
Now, for the uninitiated: Turkey season is around the corner. ALL the ammo for turkey loads have been purchased by new shooters looking for home defense ammo since last year. Why turkey loads for self defense?
That's all the cabelas had.... Come season, there will be lots of very disappointed hunters who were unprepared. Those with ammo will hunt, those without ammo will hunt for ammo, and they will not be successful given the state of the ammunition markets. There is far more money to be made cranking out buckshot and slugs than there are turkey shells.
Package comes in for transfer. Guy has a NJ license. He's just moved here. Has NOTHING with his new address. This is basically a repeat of Monday's SCAR sale. The guy here is ADAMANT that he's bought a home here and he can purchase a firearm without being a state resident.
He's technically right. HOWEVER this is why dealers hate doing things: The gun and sale have to follow both the laws of the state he's in
AND the state of New jersey. Now I have to run down all the bullshit that is NJ published ordnances to ensure that this gun is Phil Murphy(TM) approved. For the price of a transfer. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!
The gun is for a BUDDY of his he's giving it to him as a gift when he's down here for a fishing trip in a few days.
https://imgur.com/0cqL7vX Read that last line.
Yeah. I tell him that it's unlawful for him to dispose of a firearm to a non resident. He's wondering what the fuck to do. He insists on taking delivery. I tell him I need to run it down with the address and everything since his NJ license isn't technically valid since HE NO LONGER LIVES THERE.
The guy bought a double wide trailer here, the trailer park handles all the water, the power, the etc - he does not have any REAL property here. He's insistent that he has a deed for his house. He's holding a bill of sale for a mobile home.
sigh I tell him we should just get things sent to his friend via an FFL in his state. The guy lines up an FFL and I fedex the gun to the dealer up there. We need ONE UNIFORM SET OF COHESIVE COMMON SENSE GUN LAWS, not one federal set and 50+ subsections on a state level plus NY State HOME RULE BULLSHIT.
I head home early, telemedicine with Dr Kaplan. He's impressed with my progress. I'm not.
There are no songs that have Wednesday that I can think of here Wednesday, Hump Day
I decide to work from home today. I can take all the phone calls and tell people no I don't have anything from home. I decide to do some early spring cleaning. It's a BEA-U-TIFUL day. The sun is out, nice weather means I can work in the garage for once. I start a load of laundry. Everything starts off fine. I'm sorting through old shot show HK posters when I can smell burning. There's no smoke but I do smell burning. Am I having a stroke? I can't figure it out and I get a load of laundry processed through my carbon neutral solar powered clothes drying system. I start another batch of laundry and hear a massive grinding noise when I should hear the washing machine washing. That burning smell? That was the timer burning up. And I have a full tub of underwear that needs to get done since I'm nearly out. Fuck.
My dad's old toolbox is in disarray. Mine isn't. I quickly grab a few tools. A snap on general service kit is totally overkill, but it's super nice to have EVERYTHING in one spot ready to go. My 1/4 drive ratchet takes apart my washing machine panel with ease. I unplug the timer and hit the electronic bay for a replacement. I find one 2 hours away and they say they can ship immediately on my fedex account. I can get it here tomorrow if they fedex ground it on todays truck. Deal, here's my amex. Email me tracking when it's sent.
One problem arisen, one problem in progress of being fixed. Not bad for before noon.
I get a bunch of stuff stacked up and straightened up and I throw a ton of stuff on facebook marketplace. Old Glock signs and point of sale merchandise like hanging ceiling mobiles, glock pencils, FN pads, FN hats, Daniel Defense stickers and patches, HK pistol racks, some old Colt and Beretta Blue boxes, all that stuff.
People message me about the Colt box. WHATS IN THE BOX they ask.
Well it's an empty fucking box. I made that
VERY clear in the description. So what's my witty rejoinder? A youtube link to the scene from Seven with Brad Pitt yelling at Morgan Freeman "WHATS IN THE BOX? WHATS IN THE BOX?!?!!?!"
They are not amused. I think it's brilliant. They ask me what gun is for sale. I tell them it's just an empty box but if they want a gun, here's my info and call me at work during business hours. I'm then told that people selling empty boxes on facebook aren't selling empty boxes, they're selling guns.
This, I did not know.
Armed with this newfound information, I proceed to post more random stuff from my garage for sale in front of a pile of 20,000 rds of 9mm. An old kegerator and some bar equipment my dad had, a Miller Genuine Draft neon sign backdropped with 5 cases of Winchester Q4170 45ACP and 5 cases of CCI Lawman 147gr 9mm. The messages flood in looking to buy my stuff cheap. But I know what I got.
My favorite interaction:
1: hey man, you got anything else for sale?
FC: Tons of stuff for sale!
1: I'm looking for pews.
FC: I got pews, you want to stop by and check out my pews? I got some real nice ones, super nice. Only used on sunday!
1: Yeah man I'm leaving for lunch in 10 min, give me your address
FC: Sure thing! Here's me, be here in 30 minutes!
I continue to clean up my garage and I pull out some of my dad's old auction finds. Under about 200 old polynesian tiki mugs, I dust off some white oak church pews and pull them into the driveway. The guy tells me he wants to see the pews I got, and I point them out to him in the driveway. White oak, great shape - just needs some lemon pledge and they'll be good as new. He calls me a clown, gets in his car and drives off.
What's wrong with these people?
I return to find 254 facebook marketplace messages for people asking me to sell/ship them guns and ammo to all sorts of places and that facebook has suspended my account for violations of their marketplace terms. The offending item? An old Sig Sauer binder that has a P226 exploded diagram on the front. Because firearm parts are not allowed.
I manage to sell on facebook marketplace an old surefire incandescent rifle light, a blue colt mustang box, a few tin winchester ammo signs, some beer neons that belonged to my dad and some soft pistol rugs that I ordered from RSR on clearance. A productive wednesday. My haul nets me after facebook marketplace fees and shipping about $54 on the shipped items and a few hundred bucks in miscellany. I give my business cards to all the folks looking for gun stuff and they seem surprised that I still have ammo and that they've never heard of me. They do all their ammo and gun shopping online and don't do B&M. That's the way things will be in the future.
I head to the tex mex joint for dinner. I chat it up with a very cute blonde that is the manager. She's just moved into a new place after her man chated on her and she ditched that zero. I offer her my stack of bed bath and beyond coupons.
FC: Starting over is expensive. Maybe this will make it a little bit cheaper.
1: Oh my gosh this will save me a bunch of money! Here, your dinner is on me.
FC: It's been a long time since a woman has bought me dinner. Perhaps I should return that favor. Do you like firefighters?
(she cracks a big smile under the mask)
1: I do, but I'm talking to someone right now.
FC: I can see you ditched the zero, but if it does not work out and you want to get yourself a hero - I'm here pretty often. Just ask and I'll take you to dinner at your favorite place.
I manage to get rejected by a woman
at the same time she bought me dinner.
That takes talent. I head home, pop some ibuprofen and head to bed. I check my email in bed. There's a tracking number.
PICKUP OCCOURED AFTER FEDEX CUTOFF FOR TODAY, PACKAGE WILL BE TENDERED THE NEXT BUSINESS DAY You fucking clowns. You had one job. I call fedex and ask them to hold it at the facility 2 hours away. I'll grab it in the AM. They can't even find it. Fuck it. Leave it. I'll deal with it later.
Thursday, I don't care about you Thursday, or FC makes a new friend!
I head into work a bit early today, as I'm driving down my street, I round the corner and see an older fellow wheeling his trash to the curb. This guy had a '99 Ford F250 extended cab 4x4 with the venerable 7.3 navistar in MINT condition for sale. 129,000 miles, parked in a garage 10 months out of the year. He wanted $16k for this truck and I figured he got tired of tire kickers and lowballs and kept it. I messaged him 3 days after the post went up and I never followed up, I knew the house since I've literally been driving past it MY ENTIRE LIFE on the way to elementary, middle, high school, college and now work.
My passenger window rolls down as I stop right next to the mailbox.
FC: You still got your F250?
1: No! That thing sold in one hour! To a dealer!
FC: Son of a bitch! I wanted that truck, I didn't even know you were selling!
1: Dealer came over in one hour, took a look at it, put cash on the hood, slapped a dealer tag on it and drove it out of here!
FC: Damn! I wish you put a sign on it and I would have stopped.
1: I told my wife I didn't want to sell it to a dealer but my garage isn't big enough!
FC: No kidding. Say, you still got your T bird?
1: My thunderbird? How'd you know I have a thunderbird?
FC: I grew up here! When I was in grade school I'd ride by and you were wrenching on it, when I was in high school, I'd see you wrenching on it from the bus and when I was in college I'd see you wrenching on it on my way home from class!
1: I spent 20 years building that car 2 weeks at a time! You wanna see it?
FC: Well, when you put it that way....
I pull off into the grass. He's got a detached 3500 square foot garage with Snap On's Mr Big not 1 but 2 ben pearson four post lifts. He shows me his thunderbird he's been working on for two decades. We get to talking. He's a commercial alaskan fisherman and he spends 10 months of the year in alaska and seattle running boats. Super nice guy. He asks me what I do for work, and I tell him. He tells me all his friends are scrambling for ammo and he didn't think it was that bad. I tell him it's been that way for about a year. He needs 00 buckshot, 8 or 9 pellet. I just got a small delivery. I tell him I can get him some. I give him my card and tell him call me this afternoon and I'll throw a few boxes in my briefcase and I'll deliver them on my way home. I'm asked about my watch, he's apparently a GMT man as well. We both like fords and stainless GMT's. Nice. He tells me the story about how he accidentally welded the band to his boat in the bering sea while doing repairs with a stick welder.
FC: What do you catch?
1: Pollock, cod
FC: long line?
1: No, trawler..... You know your commercial fishing.
FC: I know my customers.
Impressed at my substantial seafood knowledge, he tells me he'll call me after he checks his safe. I head into work and get some more stuff done.
I get a call from a referral. This guy was busted for selling pot and spent 8 months in miltary prison at Leavenworth. He's wondering if he can still own or have a gun with a bad conduct discharge. I'm not sure. I call my retinue and we agree that it's worthy of research and we should do a bar journal article about it. I love it when a plan comes together.
Doctor lady and her husband come in and their attorney has told them that without a trust, their silencer order will need to be approved by the CLEO of the region. This is why people hate lawyers. I get all their stuff drawn up as they requested with two trusts and interlocking responsible parties. Double the prints and plenty of passport photos all around.
Dead Air is behind on pistons and mounts, as usual but I'm assured by the big man in charge that they will be at wholesalers shortly. I'm so scrambled that I forget to charge her for two cans. No big deal, I'll email her and deal with it when I get her the mounts.
I have a facebook marketplace post up for an old Glock brand Pistol case and some glock brand ear pro. Here's the message:
Hi Will it's John from facebook marketplace I was looking at the glock bb gun and head phones will you show me a pic of the actually glock and does it have a clip and a slide,,??¿?? My old one did but I left it at my apartment I was sharing with friends but I miss having it lmk asap please and thanks sincerely Jeff K.
FC: Lets start here. 1. I don't sell Glock BB guns. 2. I don't have head phones. Were you only interested in BB guns?
Ya I was on Facebook marketplace looking for BB c02 pistols
sigh I go truck shopping online. A guy has a 2011 F250 diesel for $24k. Except it's not a 2011. It's a 2001. I don't know what's more absurd, a 2011 at $24k, when average retail is a shade under $20k or a 20 year old truck selling for half of MSRP.
I'm ready to give up on this. Truck prices are stupid. I check my email. Timer in transit, Fedex has it en route.
I head home and pop a flexiril and head to sleep. The flexeril isn't fixing any of my muscles but manages to knock me the fuck out quite nicely. I need to be up early.
Just got paid, Friday night.... Friday, or FC vs The Washing Machine
As a kid, I always played with my dads toolbox. I took apart tons of stuff and had no idea how to put it back together. Some kids when they're in the tender years made birdhouses and small woodworking projects and it was super fun for them to pretend. Me? I took apart a 1 horse GE electric blower motor my dad short circuited on accident and made a pretend General Electric first generation boiling water nuclear reactor. Which was not really easy to do given the fact that the internet didn't exist in the early 90's. You had to have some modicum of imagination, and in that case your design was neither right nor wrong because nobody could easily prove your design accurate or otherwise. I had effectively built Schrodinger's BWR. I used different colored and sized tapcons and red heads for fuel/control rods if anyone was wondering. I think I can handle the washing machine. Just for good measure I put on my Cal Tech shirt.
As I warm up breakfast, I get an email from a guy named Eddie. He wants to see some 40S&W pistols. I tell him I have a busy morning. I can find some time for him around 10AM if he wants to stop by and I'll have what he's looking for ready.
My fedex guy stops at the Boeing facility first thing in the morning to drop off parts at the loading dock, I know his schedule so I pull up to the dock and hang out there waiting for him. Jeff is right on time and I snag my washer timer. No email back from Eddie so time to head back home to put everything back together. I'm in the middle of buttoning it up when I get a call.
Eddie is standing in my parking lot wanting to check out some 40S&W pistols I have in stock. I tell him all my available inventory on the website and that if he wanted me to have everything ready for him at 10AM, he should have given me an affirmative reply or a phone call. Right now, clean underwear is a priority and Eddie seems to understand this and he says he will chat with me later.
I head back to work. The entire parking lot smells like weed. There's a VW microbus parked on the far side of the lot and I'm downwind of it.
This is not a coincidence.
Wholesale rep tries to sell me $700 complete andersons
again with a min order of 50. Pass.
I get a bunch of messages from other dealers looking to buy ammo off me and resell it to their customers at "reasonable" prices and I tell them they are fools for selling stuff cheap. They just don't get it and they'll be out of business soon.
I get a call from a guy wanting ammo. He wants all my 22LR. I tell him the price and he says "I can't make a profit selling it at those prices!"
This is the reason regular people can't buy ammo just FYI.
It's Friday again. I've got another gun show to prep for. New product just rolls in on the UPS truck. A few glocks, a few shields, and for some reason the rep sent me 5 sets of rear MBUS sights instead of 5 front and 5 rear. Ugh. I manage to get a small allocation of 9mm in on this truck as well as 11 boxes of 10mm! This year is looking better by the week!
I get several calls for AAC mounts that nobody has in stock and the owners are totally confused. One guy had a can and was selling a rifle and sold the
ONLY mount he owned for that can to the guy buying his rifle for $200.
He was under the impression that you could just call AAC and order another mount for $112. I tell him if I can find what he's looking for, I'll need to buy it for $250 from someone and that it will sell for $350-500 by the time I mark it up. He's super confused as to why everyone is running out and buying AAC mounts and why they can't be ordered. I explain AAC/Remington's two bankruptices in 5 years. He is even more confused. I finally blurt it out.
You had ONE mount for your can. You sold it. There are no other mounts. You have paid a tax stamp for and own a can that YOU CAN NO LONGER MOUNT because you sold them. He now realizes the error of his ways. Nothing I can do about that.
Second guy tells me he sees I have AAC mounts. He needs one for his can. I ask him what model he has. He has to crack open the safe.
1: It's an Advanced Armament Corp Norcross Georgia
FC: That's the manufacturer......
1: It's a.........ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFF EFFF
FC: It's a what?
1: It says on the side ZERO ENNN DASH ZERO EFFFF EFFFF
(Editors note:
https://www.advanced-armament.com/assets/products/762-SDN-6.png )
FC: That's not the model.
1: It's not? Then what did I read to you?
FC: That's not a zero. That's the letter O.
- The number O?
FC: O. As in Oh. ENNNN. Dash. Oh. EFFF EFF.
1: I'm confused.
FC: You just read the directions to take the can ON or OFF.
1: Huh that would explain the arrows wouldn't it......
FC: Yeah. What model do you have?
1: It's an MK13-SD!
FC: You need a 90T ratchet mount.
1: Great! You stock em, right?
FC: Nope.
1: But your website has some, those will work right?
FC: Unless you need 51T mounts, I can't help you.
1: Can you suggest someone that can? I need mounts.
FC: AAC is gone, these mounts may never be made again.
1: Shit.
Not to be out done, I get one more phone call.
1: hey this is brent, I need an AAC mount
FC: What model you got?
1: 7.62
FC: Right, thats the caliber.
1: RS7!
FC: SR7?
1: That's the one! I need an SR 7 mount in 5.56, the one I have is in 7.62
FC: Got four here. $400.
1: I just need one.
FC: That is for one.
1: WHAT? FOR ONE? Why's it so expensive?
FC: Remington went under. These may never be made again. I've been buying up everything I've been able to find so I can run the table.
1: That's a good business move.
FC: Not my first rodeo.
1: Well for $400 I'll just take a mount off a rifle I'm not using and I'll set that up. Thanks anyways.
(90 minutes later, my door swings open)
FC: What can I do for you?
1: I'm brent, we talked about that RS7 mount.
FC: SR7.
1: Whatever. I got this here and it does not even fit! It's for the wrong rifle! I need the right mount, this one is in 5.56 I need the one for the 7.62
FC: Lemme see what you got.
(Looks at package. AAC 90T TAPER MOUNT FH SR-5 5.56 1/2x28)
FC: What are you mounting this to?
1: AR15 in 223
FC: This is the correct mount.
1: No it's not! It does not fit!
FC: Does not fit barrel or can?
1: The can! I mounted it to the barrel and the can won't work! Need the one for the RS7!
FC: SR7
1: Whatever! I have a 7.62 can, this mount is for 5.56 and it's the wrong one.
FC: Who sold you this mount?
1: The gun store across the street from my house.
FC: You live an hour away, why didn't you go there?
1: I did, they don't have this mount in 7.62, I went there first.
FC: And they didn't explain this to you?
1: What is there to explain? This mount is marked 5.56. My can isn't 5.56. It's 7.62.
FC: Oh, so you want the one marked 7.62 in 1/2x28.
1: Exactly!
FC: 7.62 mounts aren't made in 1/2x28, all the 90T mounts are 90T exterior and the threading internally is different.
1: You're wrong.
FC: Please, argue with the guy wearing a caltech shirt.....
1: Prove it.
(I open his package and I grab an SR7 out of the safe. I press the latch down and thread it on)
1: You son of a bitch.
FC: You want to argue with me some more?
1: So what mount do I need?
(I pull out one of my mounts and show him side by side they're exactly the same)
1: Hmmmm. Okay. I must have done something wrong.
FC: There's not a lot of ways to do this wrong, but you found one. Go try it again.
(90 minutes later he calls back and tells me I was right)
What the fuck is with all the AAC people this week that are totally clueless?
But hey, at least I have clean underwear.
Howdy all, I'm looking for advice about boats. I suppose this question could go in a boating subreddit, but I'm pretty sure some of you fellas have the specific information I need.
Here's the situation: My parents live in south Jersey close to the shore, and have been gifted a 16ft aluminum boat with an 8 hp outboard. I currently live in the good old state of PA, but am down there most weekends to fish, and would like to use this boat for that purpose. We are going to register the boat in NJ.
My question is, what exactly do I need, as a PA resident, to pilot this humble vessle in the waters of NJ? E.g. Are a boating safety certificate and a boating license the same thing? If not, do I need both of them? Do I need a NJ specific certificate or is a safety cert good across states? Can I get my cert at boat-ed?
I guess what I'm asking for is sort of a run-down of what I will need. I have tried looking online to figure out this information myself, but was left with a lot of confusion and seemingly conflicting information. I read the entire "Pennsylvania and New Jersey Boating Safety Education Frequently Asked Questions", but felt less sure about things than before I'd read it. Maybe I'm just stupid, but if you guys can help a brother out, I'd be forever grateful.
submitted by A few years ago, I became obsessed with hunting. I was watching Meateater, and I started posting here all the time, hoping to talk about hunting with somebody.
I took hunter's safety a few years ago, but I never bought a hunting license so it expired.
Anyway . . . the year is 2019, and I'm doing it right. I actually applied to my FID card here in NJ, and I purchased a used Benelli Supernova with a 28" that I'm very happy with. I'm scheduled to do hunter's safety at the Clinton WMA on November 17th, and I'm going to be actually buying a hunting license this time around.
Here is my dilemma . . . I don't really know how to navigate the public land here in this state. I don't know where to go to hunt, and I certainly don't know all the do's and don'ts. I'm going to ask a lot of questions at my hunter's safety class, but a mentor for the field would be ideal.
Does anyone here hunt small game? This is the biggest problem I'm running into . . . it seems like there are a lot of deer hunters, but no one seems to hunt small game. I'd love to give a try, but I think the public land is going to be heavily pressured during NJ's very small firearms season, and I don't want to get shot . . . and I certainly don't want to ruin another hunter's set-up by bumbling through the woods and spooking all the deer.
So I'd like to start with small game. I've seen videos online of skinning and butchering rabbits and squirrels, and I'm certainly willing to give it a try. My understanding is the limit is five squirrels and four cottontails every day.
I'd also love to give waterfowl a try pretty soon, but I haven't gotten around to purchasing my federal waterfowl stamp and that other stuff yet . . . and I doubt I could get a lot done without decoys and a boat and all that other stuff
I'm very excited for spring turkey season. I have these two dirt-cheap tarps in camo pattern, and I'm planning to try and get a gobbler with a super minimalist set-up . . . just hanging some tarps and hiding behind them while I call. But turkey season is a long way away.
Anyway, I'd love to talk to NJ hunters. Even if you can't take on a student, it would be great if you could give me tips and tricks.
submitted by A Beginners Guide to Hunting A note before starting- the information here is general and is presented as it relates to hunting and typical hunting regulations. It is obviously not exhaustive and is meant to serve as a starting point for beginners wanting to start a “learning journey” about the wonderful world of hunting. If you are a knowledgeable hunter and notice some egregious mistake, let me know and I’ll fix it. If you notice something minor that maybe could use some qualifications to make it better, we’ll talk in the comments, but I’m going for simple instead of absolutely correct and highly detailed, because for someone new, that shit can be confusing and sometimes boring.
I did this guide since a few people expressed some interest in one after a recent thread about hunting. If mods don't approve, I'll take it down, or edit as needed.
Hunting is one of the oldest activities modern humans participate in, with murdering each other and prostitution also being on the relatively short list of really old stuff we still do. Out of those three at least, it could be argued to be the most wholesome. I’m not an anthropologist, but its generally known that the first hunters used primitive tools like spears to chase down animals and kill them to feed their hunter-gatherer social groups and provide one of the best protein sources available in pre-agriculture human history (beans are better, but we didn’t grow soy and lentils until recently). Humans have excellent color vision and depth perception that lends itself very well to the pursuit of prey animals, the cutting incisors and canine teeth to eat flesh, and the mid-length digestive system to utilize the fats and proteins that other animal bodies are made of.
Very few people chase deer until they collapse from exhaustion anymore. Firearms are far and away the most popular and definitely the most effective way of securing animal protein. In North America, it is no longer necessary to hunt for food, our agriculture-based society lending toward specialization in occupation.
However, hunting remains popular among a large group of people coming from many walks of life, for varying reasons. I grew up hunting as a way to participate in the natural world- to see it more closely the way it may look when I’m not there. I’m a conservation biologist by trade and while I work in commercial fisheries management, I was inspired by my love of the outdoors and hunting.
My hunting activities are heavily influenced by my upbringing in the Southeastern US where hunting remains ubiquitous, as well as my professional trade and formal education and training as a scientist. As I grew up and my political philosophies developed (and continue to do so), hunting has become even more solidified in my mind as a way not only to connect with our beautiful and unique planet, but also a way to become more independent from the unsavory aspects of our industrial capitalist society. Through hunting, I support conservation and environmental efforts, lessen my contribution to global climate change, and minimize my participation in factory farming and corporate/monopolistic food production. I’m no saint and am still learning about how I fit into what Socialism means (as evidenced by some flame wars I’ve inadvertently started in this sub).
I’m not even an expert hunter, but maybe know enough to get someone else started down the path to enjoying one of my favorite pastimes. So, here goes: Probably the first thing you need to do is go to your state’s Natural Resource Department’s website and peruse the sections that pertain to hunting (links to all 50 at bottom). They often include excellent articles, information, and online resources for getting started. Sign up for the newsletter and have them mail you an annual almanac/magazine. These typically include ALL hunting and fishing laws, rules, and regulations for your state, as well as articles on tips and tricks for hunters. Its usually cheap or free.
Now, the BEST way to learn to hunt is to go with someone who already hunts. It’s a set of skills best learned by doing and its hard to learn how to walk through the woods quietly by reading an internet article. That’s perhaps the biggest reason it runs in families. It’s a masteapprentice style of learning that is hard to do by yourself, but its not impossible and its still a lot of fun! So, pester any hunter friends you have to take you. Barring that, read! Magazines, and books are still some of the best resources there are out there. Online forums are also good-
/hunting is a place to start, as well as several other hunting-centric subs. Read the FAQs!
List of good books (I’ve read some of these, it’s a good list)
Field and Stream Magazine Outdoor Life Ducks Unlimited National Wild Turkey Federation U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Boone and Crockett Club Pheasants Forever Delta Waterfowl For buying hunting things, because here in America, we consume to feel:
Bass Pro Shops Cabelas But, don’t bog yourself down on the internet too much! Go and DO IT! Buy some cheap camo clothes, dress for the weather, buy a license, get a map and a little gear, and go into the woods. The worst thing that will happen is that you hike around outside and don’t shoot anything. Basically, a nice hike. Sure as hell beats a good day at work, and that’s the worst case scenario. That’s it. Any gear should be considered appropriate for any camping or hiking trip and appropriate for the outdoor area you are in (but most of that stuff is unnecessary). Go into out into the natural world and just be quiet. Don’t talk, don’t move fast. Listen. Look. Watch for patterns, movement, and watch your surroundings. Be AWARE. Take it all in- watch the plants and animals- where they are, what they do, where they go, what they sound like. Treat your first trips like you would a regular hike, except shut up and listen. Keep your head up, eyes looking. Developing the woodsmanship skills takes time and the only real way to do it is practice. That may sound like work, but its really just a great excuse to go outside and be present in the natural world in a way you don’t typically do if you’re backpacking in a patchouli-soaked purple Patagonia puffy or car camping with buddies getting drunk around a campfire (also both very fun).
Do read about the animals you’re hunting- where they can be found, what they eat, where they sleep, when they are active or not active. Use this to schedule your hunts- where you go, when you go. But do GO. I’ve included some online resources to use as starting points for your basic research. Hunting is such a wide subject matter that its pretty hard to tell anyone who has never been that they should do these 5 things, and not others.
For beginners, here is the bottom line: I recommend you start on small game- either
rabbits,
squirrels, or
doves. They occur all over North America, have long hunting seasons, are numerous, and are relatively easy to hunt. Buy a 12 gauge pump shotgun like a
Mossberg 500,
Mossberg Maverick 88,
Remington 870, or other similar shotgun with a 24-28 inch barrel and a bead sight. Buy 2 ¾” shotshells in 7 ½ lead shot (or non-lead, based on regulations). If you already have a .22 LR rifle, use that instead. It won’t work for doves, but its perfect otherwise. If you have other firearms like a high power rifle, use that and try out large game. But do your research. Don’t start with a handgun. Don’t go out and buy a crossbow. Err on the side of simple and effective at first.
For a first hunting trip, I recommend you do these things: Read local rules and regulations and follow them
Buy a license
Bring:
Necessary safety equipment (orange vest, etc)
Small backpack or shoulder bag
Water bottle
Knife
Flashlight
Appropriate clothing (earth tones, muted, flat colors- you don’t even need camo for most hunting)
Phone/wallet/keys (don’t lock yourself out lol)
Your weapon of choice and a box of ammo
Keep a cooler in your car for storing your protein prizes
Gear should be lower on your list of concerns until you’ve been a few times and figure out what YOU need for the situations you hunt in. There are so many different ways to approach gear it isn’t worth talking about unless you have some pretty specific questions.
*
Taking the Plunge, putting your money where your mouth is and buying a license! * These vary a HUGE amount from state to state. What you can hunt, where you can hunt, when you can hunt, what you can hunt with, who you can hunt with, and many other things are highly regulated. However, there are some commonalities. The vast majority of states require each hunter to take a
Hunter Education and Safety Course BEFORE you can even buy a license or permit. Usually its an all-day class taught by a wildlife law enforcement officer or certified instructor, OR it can be taken online in some areas. It also usually includes an in-person range/firearm safety component (even if your written portion was online). So, it takes some planning and scheduling to make sure you get this done before you go innawoods. Most of these are good for life and are reciprocally accepted across state lines, so you can take it once and you’re good to go! I had already been hunting for a while when the laws making these classes mandatory were passed around the country, so when I took it I was a little bored. However, I think the subjects they teach are invaluable to new hunters and it’s a great way to begin learning about hunting.
After this, you need to buy a license. They usually aren’t one-covers-everything and are only valid for certain periods of time (although lifetime licenses do exist and are a good deal if you hunt a few years and find its something you’ll want to do for the rest of your life). They are usually separated into the following license types:
Resident or Non-resident- if you live in a state, you can buy the resident license. Its usually cheaper and has less stringent rules (higher bag limits, longer seasons, etc). If you hunt outside the state you live in, you’ll need to buy the non-resident license. Different states hate outsiders more or less than others and penalize these ne’er-do-well foreigners in different ways. It ends up being a good thing, since the increased fees generally go to wildlife conservation, just like the resident licenses do.
Trip Length License- You only want to hunt for a temporary amount of time that is less than the length of the season for the critter you’re trying to murder. They vary, but 3-day (think weekend), 5-day, 7-day, and 10-day are fairly normal. These are typically more often bought by non-resident hunters who don’t want (or can’t afford) to drop the coin for a full season or year of hunting in a state they will only be in for their hunting vacay.
Season Length License- This license is typically good for the entire season length of whatever you’re shooting at. Obviously, how long depends on the game animal, the state, and often times the specific region or area of that state you happen to be hunting in.
Annual Licenses- These aren’t so different from season licenses, since most seasons occur once per year, you have to re-up on an annual basis anyway. But I include them as a category since it’s a term you’ll often see on your state’s hunting/fishing/parks department websites when deciding what license to buy.
Package Deals- the good stuff. Many states offer package licenses that include more than one type of game animal, more than one season, or other combos, for a bundled price. For people who want to hunt with any frequency, this is usually the best deal. I even recommend it for new hunters, because its almost always the cheapest and is the best way to try new kinds of hunting all at once.
You usually have to buy a license for each specific animal type you want to hunt and its typically only good for a certain amount of time (package deals being the exception). I’ve included a general list along with the weapons typically used for each.
Game types:
Small Game- usually includes most species of squirrels, groundhogs, other rodents, rabbits (rabbits are lagomorphs, not rodents, you ignoramus), quails, pheasants, raccoons, oppossums, and others. This is state or region specific and if you’re state doesn’t have pheasants, there won’t be a pheasant season. The licenses that govern small game are typically the cheapest and they are typically subject to fewer regulations than large game. This is where I recommend any new hunter starts- the game is usually more plentiful, hunting is easier, more active and fun, and is an excellent way to learn woodsmanship and outdoor hunting skills in a relatively forgiving environment. Small game seasons are usually late fall to early spring and typically represent the longest seasons of any game animals, which means more hunting opportunity!
Migratory Birds- includes most species of waterfowl (ducks, geese, rails, gallinules, mergansers, coots, swans, cranes, etc) as well as other birds like doves, crows, woodcock, and snipe (yes, snipe hunting is actually real and not just a fun joke to terrorize friends and people you want to sleep with, and they taste delicious). These species are mostly federally regulated as part of the
Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918, and usually require purchasing a federal license (usually called a “duck stamp”) in addition to a state license. Some species like swans and cranes need to have additional tags purchased before an individual can be killed (as in, you can buy a license, but can’t kill a crane without buying a crane-specific tag). Many of the rules and regulations regarding this group of quarry are federally mandated and are more stringently enforced than state laws. Waterfowl hunting is super, super fun, but is really gear and time intensive(think boats, waders, dogs, decoys, blinds, etc). If you know someone who duck hunts, ask to go with them, but I’d advise you not to start with it on your own. Dove hunting IS relatively easy and is an excellent way to start out though- in similar ways that other small game are. Waterfowl seasons is on a per state basis depending upon their annual migration patterns, but is typically throughout winter (usually about 60 days per state, but again, it varies). Dove season is usually from late summer to early winter (opening day is around Labor Day usually and here in the South is a time-honored tradition).
Turkey- turkeys aren’t really considered big game or small game and typically get their own category. There are 6 subspecies in North America- Eastern Wild Turkey, Osceola Wild Turkey, Rio Grande Wild Turkey, Merriam’s Wild Turkey, Gould’s Wild Turkey, and South Mexican Wild Turkey (a 7th would be 101, but that just gets your cousins drunk as an apology for drying out the real bird on Thanksgiving). Usually, these require only a state license and possibly individual bird tags, although most places include a set number of tags with each license. There are usually two seasons for turkey in most states- a spring season when the turkey are breeding and laying eggs, and a fall season when they flock up.
Shotguns are the most used type of weapon for small game and migratory bird hunting (turkeys as well). They are typically the only LEGAL weapon used for many of these species as well. Shotguns are the most versatile hunting weapon there is. They can be used effectively on pretty much any game animal (pretty much the only option for flying things), depending on ammunition, and is legal to own and use for hunting practically everywhere. If you can only have one weapon for hunting, a 12 gauge pump shotgun is the one you want. They are ubiquitous, cheap to buy, cheap to shoot, and relatively easy to learn and maintain. It’s a great starting firearm. I suggested 3 popular pump-action 12 gauge shotguns up top- those will suffice for beginners.
Smallbore rifles, typically rimfire (.17 HMR, .22 LR, .22 Mag, but centerfire cartridges like the .22-250, .222 Swift, .204 Ruger, and a few others are popular in varmint hunting), are excellent for non-flying small game. The .22 LR is the most widely sold cartridge available and the weapons that fire it are the most popular rifles and handguns in the world. These smallbore rifles are relatively inexpensive to buy, inexpensive to shoot, easy to learn how to operate and maintain, and therefore make great starting points for any beginner firearms owner or beginner hunter. Good examples of popular and good quality beginner level smallbore rifles are:
Ruger 10/22 Marlin Model 60 CZ 455 American Combo Large game- The big game category is usually the most complex, highly regulated, and heavily policed of all hunting categories. I won’t even try to go through all the
29 different species. However, the
white-tailed deer is both the most numerous large game animal in North America as well as the most popular game animal, so it will suffice as a stand-in for our purposes. Licenses typically cover a whole state, or a large region of a state. These are also the most expensive license type since the management system that governs large game is necessarily larger and more expensive than other game animals (due to its popularity as a game animal, their numbers, and difficulty of scientific study, etc.). The licenses typically cover a set number of deer you can kill (so many females, so many males) and once you’ve shot your limit, you’re done for the season. Some are very stringent (1-2 deer per year) others are very loose (in AL, its legal to shoot 2 deer PER DAY). The hunting seasons for deer and other big game differs based upon your weapon type, usually with archery, primitive weapons, and muzzleloaders getting a headstart (sometimes up to a month longer!), then rifle season starting around Thanksgiving and going through January or midwinter.
Intermediate and large caliber rifles are the most common and most effective option for large game. They are easily the widest variety of weapons and cartridges in any category. This includes pretty much every modern military cartridge (7.62x51 NATO, 7.62x54R, 5.56x45 NATO, 7.62x39mm, etc) as well as many, many other cartridges from hunting-specific origins (.30-30, .270 WIN, .375 H&H, etc) and competition /target origins ( 6.5 Creedmoor, .300 Win Mag, .338 Lapua, etc.). Each cartridge has strengths and weaknesses and not every one is good for every purpose. From a perspective of hunting in North America and being new to hunting, any one of the most popular cartridges (.30-06, .308 WIN, .270 WIN, and a few others) will serve to take pretty much any large game species the continent has to offer. These high-power rifles are not difficult to shoot and learn, but require ranges or areas to shoot in that have better backstops, more space, that make them a little less enticing as a first firearm to use for hunting. If you already have one, great- you’re set. But if you don’t, I wouldn’t recommend starting here unless you specifically only want to hunt deer or other large game. They are more expensive to shoot than shotguns and smallbore, and are a little more difficult to train with due to increased recoil. Maintanence is still relatively simple. Some good starter rifles are:
Ruger American, multiple calibers available Savage Axis, multiple calibers available Thompson Center Compass, multiple calibers available Large caliber handguns (think .44 Mag, 10mm Auto, .454 Casull, .500 S&W) can be used for large game, but are not typically used for small game hunting (although .22 LR in a pistol is fun as hell for squirrel hunting). This is a more niche area that I don’t recommend you start your hunting “career” with. Handgun hunting requires a lot more practice and skill and the rules that govern what’s legal and illegal are often more stringent than other weapon types. But, people do hunt with handguns and it is a really fun way to put meat on the table. I won’t put examples here, they are easy to find, but unnecessary.
Muzzleloaders are also a popular method for large game. Lots of options are available, from “build your own” kit-style Kentucky flintlock rifles all the way to bolt-action, striker-fired percussion cap rifles with synthetic stocks, scopes, and many bells and whistles. Most are large caliber, typically .45 and up. Muzzleloading shotguns are made, but very rarely used in hunting, except in niche areas (think period-correct hobbyists and collectors). While I don’t think this is where you need to start, muzzleloading offers advantages. The weapons are typically pretty cheap and cheap to shoot. They also enjoy relaxed regulation, making them easier to buy and shoot. They also typically have longer hunting seasons with more relaxed bag limits, which expands the opportunities you have for hunting during the year. Some examples, if you are interested:
CVA V2 Optima Thompson Center Pro Archery weapons like bows (compound and recurve make up vast majority, although simple longbows and others are also used) and crossbows. Archery is most typically used in large game hunting and bowhunting is extremely popular. They are also used in some turkey hunting, small game hunting, and even bowfishing. Similar to muzzleloading, archery has relaxed regulations for use and purchase. Bowhunting is extremely popular. But, it takes more range time to get practically skilled with a bow than it does most firearms. You can spend tons and tons of money on bows- people play legos with them just like AR15s. But a basic setup will be comparable to a similar budget high-power rifle. I believe its not a great starting point, but an excellent second-step into the hunting world, once the bug bites you hard. I won’t recommend any specific bows- I have an old PSE Nova that I shoot. You need to go to an archery shop and talk to someone who knows their stuff and so they can take measurements for draw length, weight, cut arrows properly, and add on sights, and other things that require some skill.
Other Primitive Weapons- these folks are wild. Hunting deer with
atlatls, killing hogs with spears and bowie knives (not for the faint of heart), small game with slings and slingshots. Go for it if you want, but you crazy. Absolutely badass, but crazy.
Varmints/Nuisance Animals- Wide category, often includes predators like foxes, coyotes, bobcats, and invasive species like feral hogs, etc. Typically, because many of these animals are considered “undesirable” (some for reasons less justifiable than others), the regulations are very loose. For hogs, all you typically have to do is buy a hunting license and go to town- any weapon, any time of year, kill as many as you want. Many places allow baiting, night hunting, use of suppressors, hunting from fucking helicopters, and all sorts of crazy stuff. As a biologist, I recognize the valuable tools that hunters bring to bear in controlling invasive and highly damaging species like feral pigs. However, some of the other animals usually found in this category aren’t shown to be quite as bad or damaging as many hunters think or say they are. Predator hunting like coyotes, wolves, foxes, and bobcats is a major point of disagreement and contention between hunters, scientists, and environmentalists. Lots of people have strong feelings about these animals and I will leave it at that. However, I’d argue that due to the high degree of challenge presented by hunting these animals, its not a great place to start. I feel like people on both sides of the “varmint fence” would agree with that.
List of U.S. State Departments of Wildlife and Fisheries governing agencies
Alabama Division of Wildlife & Freshwater Fisheries Alaska Department of Fish and Game Arizona Game and Fish Department Arkansas Game and Fish Commission California Department of Fish and Game Colorado Department of Natural Resources Connecticut Department of Environmental Protection Delaware Division of Fish and Wildlife Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Georgia Department of Natural Resources Hawaii Department of Land & Natural Resources Idaho Fish and Game Department Illinois Department of Natural Resources Indiana Department of Natural Resources Iowa Department of Natural Resources Kansas Department of Wildlife and Parks Kentucky Department of Fish & Wildlife Resources Louisiana Department of Wildlife & Fisheries Maine Department of Inland Fisheries & Wildlife Maryland Department of Natural Resources Massachusetts Department of Fisheries, Wildlife & Environmental Law Enforcement Michigan Department of Natural Resources Minnesota Department of Natural Resources Mississippi Department of Wildlife, Fisheries and Parks Missouri Department of Conservation Montana Department of Fish, Wildlife & Parks Nebraska Game & Parks Commission Nevada Division of Wildlife New Hampshire Fish & Game Department New Jersey Division of Fish and Wildlife New Mexico Department of Game & Fish New York Department of Environmental Conservation North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission North Dakota Game & Fish Department Ohio Department of Natural Resources Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation Oregon Department of Fish & Wildlife Pennsylvania Game Commission Rhode Island Division of Fish & Wildlife South Carolina Department of Natural Resources South Dakota Game, Fish and Parks Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency Texas Parks & Wildlife Department Utah Division of Wildlife Resources Vermont Department of Fish & Wildlife Virginia Department of Game & Inland Fisheries Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife West Virginia Division of Natural Resource Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources Wyoming Game & Fish Department EDIT: Formatting
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